Brendzblog

Asian Drivers

2012-01-29T23:27:00.001+08:00

Kuching is not safe any more. It is no longer the quaint, polite and quiet small town that it has used to be. This is because of the presence of drivers who no longer care about the simple courtesy and safety of others on the road. The town that used to pride in hospitality and politeness has become an equivalently uncaring Asian city that is even more depressing by the lack of decent shopping malls.

Motorcycles now hog the center of the road rather than allowing cars to pass through. Cars speed and shift between lanes repeatedly like they are racing while trying to overtake others. People do not use the indicator to indicate that they are changing lanes or turning in. It is common for someone to drive the wrong side of the road to get to a certain area because it's 'faster'. Traffic lights that were meant to regulate traffic and ensure the safety of all road users are now nothing but glorified colourful lamp posts. People now use the flash instead of the honk for some reason. The worse of all is when people try to take justice into their own hands by dangerously risking their lives and others by doing illegal manoeuvres just to punish someone.

Most of you probably think that I am just being ridiculous or its just a concern from some faux intellectual that tries to be smart and show off his 'powderful England.' This is however, serious. I don't feel safe driving in Kuching roads. I actually hate driving period. If given what I wanted, I would actually buy myself a tank and cruise down the roads, knocking everything away in my path. Sucks to be you, the driver who has to suffer from my tank. At the very least, I know, I am safe.

Bringing Back the Debate

2011-12-08T16:28:00.001+08:00

I guess you can call it a comeback.
I have decided to make a comeback and head back into debating
Things is, the whole experiencing World Universities Championship in Berlin sounds very tempting
So I have indeed decided that I should go back to debating for one last hurrah
I am graduating next year and I want to make my final year memorable
Although it is going to be tough with new subjects that are obviously more difficult than ever
Adding towards juggling a new job in tow
Plus, my commitments to my first love in theatre.
I guess, next semester will be a wild one.
More updates soon, I promise :)

The Bitch is coming back

2011-11-22T20:12:00.001+08:00

Sydney is fun, it is awesome here.
Although, yes, I do admit that my social life has not been exactly flowering the way I think its supposed to be with constant parties and stuff.
I felt that I do indeed made progress in what as I feel to be possible blooming of friendships.
Although I still want to have fun,
I do believe that it is time that I am going to have to take my life seriously.

I guess... maybe its time that I take my life seriously
Do the things I want to do as well as getting started in a career.
I guess the fact that life is moving on made me realize that it is time to make my move
I have a lot of aspirations but as usual I lack focus and direction.
I need to steer myself properly.
I need to release myself from the constraints that are imposed upon me
I have to realize that when I do things, I do it for me and no one else
I understand that there is a possibility of a lonely road ahead but hey, I have walked that road for 5 years, its not going to be a scary and unfamiliar one.
What is scary is leaving the familiar one
However, I am always known to break out and go my own way.

I guess this trip home is not one of pleasantry.
It is about wrapping up some unsolved shit.
Causing new trouble as well as fixing existing and potential ones
Sort of like a coming out of retirement for a goodbye tour.

As for now, I do feel that film, television and writing are what I wanted to do
Accounting is a safety net that I do not wish to need or rely upon
I felt fortunate to have experienced other possibilities that I can achieve in my life
But as to attain enlightenment and happiness, I know where the path lies.
The story goes on...
The adventure continues...
And most important of all
The bitch is back

Creativity, where are you?

2011-11-04T09:38:00.001+08:00

It shouldn't be a problem right? Its just 2,000 words. I write novels okay? NOVELS
But yet, I am still creatively stifled about my contemporary france essay
Other than that, I have tons of other things to worry about

For one, I tried enrolling for my French Langauge and Culture 1 for next semester but I am not allowed to enrol due to some stupid requisite problem, I sent an e request to be allowed to be enrolled and until now, no reply.
Things have been pretty shit for me lately.
I am finding it difficult to find my new support system
I am having difficulty finding jobs
I am spending the next 3 months in KL and my hometown.
It's just a lot to take in
Plus, I am at that point where I feel I should be like making money now and not bumming around
And yet, I am.
Which sucks and its self defeating.
Exams are looming around the corner as well.

Don't get me wrong, I mean I love it here
This place is awesome
Its just that something is missing
And the retarded enter button in this computer in the uni is fucking annoying.
That is not helping either.
I am creatively frustrated, my temper is certainly on the rise
Unlike before, I realize that I am bottling up my feelings most of the time now.
I need to let the drama out, maybe going back is the right move.
Either way, I will continue to grow, I will be strong.

But in all honesty, I feel like I should cut my hair or bitch about how the losers back home would treat the uni here.
I bet 10 bucks that they will think Building One of UTS is a shopping mall because of the escalators installed there.
It will be like this

Average Reasonable Person: Good, an escalator. It will serve its purpose nicely. *Walks up quickly while assited with the motion of escalator*

You Know Who: OMG, an escalator. *Stands and looks at scenery like she is cruising on shopping mall*. I feel like I am in a mall *giggle*

Yeah, that sort of stuff. Anyway, ciao bellas. Gotta go deal with reality.

Its been a while

2011-10-25T15:41:00.002+08:00

I shall now give the following excuses:

Drama, still nervous and trying to get my lines right.
Exams soon
Need to finish Contemporary France essay. I am doing two even though only one is required as I need the quantity and liberty to choose to see which essay is the best possible candidate that can give me a freaking D and yes HD is 100% out of the question.
Preparing handwritten notes for company law exam
Revising Accounting B
Kill of IBP assignment.
Baking
Gym
No inspiration
No drama
No anger
No angst
Not really emotional
Recalibrating emotions and sending it to a different output.

Game on, Bitch

2011-10-05T05:38:00.002+08:00

Things are getting a whole lot more busier in life right now.
I have 2 assignments due next week and a presentation on Friday.
Life has been pretty busy lately.
But I have to say its what I wanted
Having my assessments assessed that way.
However, it is sort of taking over my life.
Well, not exactly if you count the amount of hours I spent on facebook, watching tv shows, club duties and overall just plainly goofing off.

But yeah, it is taking over my life
I have been fessing and fretting all over it since for like ever.
Also I want this

Its a Lady Gaga, Born This Way 2GB Flash drive and it cost 74.95!

Oh fuck me

Seriously, there is no way in hell I can afford that

Sigh

It looks so damn cool though.

Come on! Its Lady Gaga!

Ok, I really really really should like stop blogging now

I have homework, one more piece of my company law assignment which shall be put on hold and my presentation which I have to do.

I am worried about my contemporary france now.

Its a can pass but needs extra work for a HD and right now, chances of me getting that is slim.

Its not all about the food

2011-09-18T20:08:00.002+08:00

Everytime there are dinner gala events held, be it Kuching, Australia or wherever. Unless organized by myself or esteemed and renowned party planners, there is a very high chance that I would skip it. Especially when it comes to events made by students.

To be honest, I would obviously not mean everyone but so far, the ones that I see or have been to are not satisfactory. Swinburne's version obviously have a lot of flaws as in shittier organizers, crappier budget, overall disgusting taste in decor as well as organization.

Plus and besides, people will always follow the things that I suggested a year later than usual. Here is an example, Hollywood gala night is the creation of Brendan Goh circa 2009 and fucked up by the 2010 Swinburne Prom Organizing Committee in 2010. Now, UNSW is copying what I started with their very own Malaysian Students Gala Night.

Thing is, I would definitely love a good night out. Just to let my hair down, socialize and have fun. But there is no way in hell I am spending money just to torture myself. I am not gonna fork up 28 bucks just to enjoy a macaroon tower or three because I am pretty sure I would be miserable there if the company is not good or the organization is not good.

I usually know when a party is going to be good or bad, cause come on, I have taste. So I decided that I shall impart some of my knowledge to you people.

1. Do NOT attend if there is a word called 'Buffet' in it

Buffet = Chaos. I have already suffered the Indian equivalent of populated chaos in Swinburne's 2010 prom where idiots do not know how to form a fucking line and understand that there is only one way of entry and one way of exit. Not cutting around left and right, you already have that habit on the road, you still want to portray it on a buffet line? Next, when there is a buffet, there is a line. That line is usually painstakingly long and no. I do not want to hold my plate on my hand for 10 bloody minutes just so someone can decide which side of the lasagne they want.

2. When people start promoting special attractions about their event

Be it macaroons, a dance floor, a red carpet or whatever. When someone utilises a certain good part about their event, chances are the rest are just gonna suck. Why? Because if you event is a fantastic one, you would promote ALL aspects of the event. For example, we have a terrific menu giving you various choices of starters, mains and desert from various countries like Morocco, Scandinavia, Canada, Samoa etc etc etc. We also have Kesha coming to perform. We have a fabulous decor designed by (insert famous interior decorator). We also have the Glamcam 360 that you see at the Emmys. If the shining star of your event is just fabulous performances and great food, chances are the performances suck and food is suckier.

3. The people

Good people make good parties. Shitty people make shitty parties. It's all about the company. A carefully plotted guest list that includes people who you want and get exclusive invites will definitely liven up the atmosphere as well as lowering the trash factor. Having a hodge-podge of Tom, Dick and Ah Chong is obviously going to dreck the atmosphere.

4. The organizers

Evaluate the organizers. If you are in uni for a while and know who they are. Chances are that you can predict how good are they in organizing the prom. If you do not know them, I sincerely say that you should judge the book by its cover but in this case the cover can tell a lot about the person. If he or she overall is a person who's taste in fashion is something you do not like, chances are you are going to have a miserable time.

5. The price

The price must be just right. Too expensive and you think it is not worth to go, too cheap and you think that there are corners being cut. Swinburne's price of 50 bucks is way too cheap. I would pay 100 for a fantastic night rather than some shoddy, low class, half hearted, budgeted shit that cost me 50. Its simple economics. You spend a 100 bucks on a night that you are bound to enjoy, you feel that the 100 was worth it. If you spend 50 bucks on a shitty prom, chances are you feel that you spent 50 bucks for nothing. Not to mention the new suit and perfume you bought, the limo you hired, the pack of condoms and breath mints in your back pocket and the corsage/necklace that you gave to your date.

6. The venue

Do check out the venue, if its a good one then so be it. If its some hall like your local university hall, forget about it.

7. The theme

Costumed parties like masquerade and dead celebrity parties would flunk unless you are a bunch of enthusiasts . There will always be a vast majority that do not obey the rules.

8. The presence of sponsors

If there are sponsors, do check if they are related and are potentially able to lift the prom experience. Example of bad sponsorship that do not work, having a bridal showcase at a local prom. Honey, this ain't 16 and pregnant. Nobody is gonna be getting married that soon. Unless it is known that marrying at a young age is common in your community, do not do it.

Lanterns

2011-09-05T17:39:00.000+08:00

If I am only allowed to return to Kuching once a year, I would choose to return around the time of the mooncake festival.
Now there is nothing special about mooncake festival in Kuching
There are no lanterns hanging or floating or whatever
But it is my favorite festival of the year

I do not know why
There seems to be nothing specially momentous that happened at mooncake festival
But its definitely special to me

It represents hope, love, mystery and family
Enjoying the lanterns that you hung on the plants or fences
Sipping tea
Eating mooncakes
Watching the unfortunate lanterns burn
Relighting the lanterns that are out
Trying your best to fill the pitch black skill with organic candlelights encased in coloured paper rather than the artificial ones
More importantly spending time with 5 very special dogs

This is the first time I am spending mooncake festival away from home
I do admit that I am vulnerable and a bit homesick
Especially since the mooncakes here are so not up to par compared to ones at home
I blabbered to my Australian friends about home
I could not believe that
But I did
And I guess I made friends and grew closer
Its lonely but hey, its an adventure at the same time
Till then, ttyl bitches

Resolution Update

2011-08-20T13:47:00.000+08:00

Earlier this year, I have posted a list of resolutions that I plan to keep for the year.
Here is an update followed by excuses of how has it been going on.
Resolution 1: CB or MMM
Crappy Budget status: On the fence, well I am pretty on the fence on this one, for one thing I felt that I am still spending at a somewhat stable limit, on days I spend more and some days I spend nothing where they both just cross each other out.
Make Me Miserablem status: No job = No misery = No Cash = PHAIL. Not very successful at getting jobs lately, maybe I am looking at the wrong direction?

Resolution 2: Flat Ass, Reduction in Waist Size, Skinny things and calves, thin looking face, pecs that are suitable for an athletic well toned person, muscles etc etc
Status: PHAILED (currently)
I dunno, no excuse for this one. My mistake is waiting for others to join me, should have grown a pair of balls and walked in and not get intimidated.

Resolution 3: Sing and Dance more
Status: Succeeding
I have been doing a lot more of that now, fun!!!!!!!

Resolution 4: Cut down on shopping, buy what is necessary
Status: ?
Well, I mean I have been buying a lot of necessary things lately, you know, all those essential clothing and stuff, the things I buy like ice-cream, clothes and stuff are necessary for my sanity so like I am succeeding right? RIGHT?
Status: I say succeed but feel that its more likely a PHAIL

Resolution 5: Go Vegan/ Vegetarian
Status: PHAIL
I love meat, that's it. I love my meat, especially PORK. You would never understand how to appreciate pork unless you have gone 10 weeks without it, fuck you NS. You would also never understand how to appreciate beef until you realized that your dad is no longer by your side, nagging about eat beef is like being as sinful as polygamy or something. Unless its veal, I didn't know what veal was until I googled it and saw what it actually is made of AFTER I made a fantastic veal dish. Just so you know, my heart burns and aches figuratively like after what happened to a fat guy running after an ice-cream truck.

Resolution 6: Be More Positive, Enthusiastic, Ass Kissy
Status: Success
I have been a very very good boy lately, well its true! I haven't had sex yet! I have not succumb to my alcoholism yet!

Resolution 7: Drive less, bike more
Resolution 7 (b): Learn to ride a bike
Status: Success and PHAIL (respectively)
I don't drive anymore! I am so happy about that! But yeah, still unable to ride a bike

Resolution 8: Put a lot less effort in Debating
Status: Success but wanting to PHAIL
Well, this hiatus is nice but yeah, I still do feel the longing of debating against people from other countries and travel and such. Only time will tell, I guess

Resolution 9: Stay away from any one who has a Mac, iPad or Samsung Galaxy Tab
Status: Success, Obsolete and Obsolete
I no longer crave the Galaxy Tab. I have an iPad but yeah, managed to avoid anyone who has a Mac, kudos to me!

There is still 4 months left, summer beach bod, here I come!

The Ride Begins: First Impressions

2011-08-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

Homework, Assignments, Assessments

Things are beginning to pile up now

I am definitely very very busy

I rarely have time to myself

I might have to cancel or shelf the shows that I plan to watch

This new adventure is certainly throwing a few curve balls around my life

My social life, currently seems like its going to expand

I plan to join the committee of the Business Society

I am in the drama club

I am in the French Speaking Society which is very important, especially next semester as I would be starting to learn French

Then, there is of course the people that I met at orientation

I certainly do not know how long this gang is going to last

You know.

People move on and change and find new friends

But I am having a great time so far

Company Law has been very competitive and there are like a group of people in there who certainly are there to impress

For Integrating Business Perspectives, well, lets just say its the polar opposite

Met a few acquaintances at FIS (its called Accounting For Business Decisions B or ABDB, but prefer FIS)

Contemporary France is a small class but it has it quirks

Learning about Europe, getting a taste of what its like to be an Arts & Humanities student.

It was interesting, very interesting and I had a lot of fun with it

Though it might not seem like it

As for a the few other loves in my life

Debating, I am still in limbo about it

I still do not know whether I plan to join or not

Kasun was the finals adjudicator of KLOC

I am pissed.

I mean congratulations and I am proud of him for achieving such a great accolade

But I am still pissed.

Because, it just lights a fire in me

That I want to compete and prove that I am better in the debating circuit

Like return and try for that glory and compete at Worlds

I had that dream once

Should I pursue it again?

Or shall I drop it and pursue other opportunities?

The Writers society seems fun

But the self publishing stuff is just not my kind of thing

I mean I want to at least have connections and opportunities to get a book published, fine.

But zines?

I don't know about that, seems very indy for me and I am more of the mainstream type.

Citing creative differences is what my head is currently spinning around for now

Well, obviously, you know there are more opinions of mine talking about nice shit and gossiping about the other clubs I have seen. But I don't want to anger anyone or cause some sort of outrage where people comment shit about me. I do not know why they do that, its just an opinion. This is what Malaysia has come to, everyone is so fucking sensitive and so self righteous, whatever you write or say that makes them FEEL that you are dissing them, they diss you. No wonder why Malaysian commercials show people pointing with their thumbs.

Dissing Anime in general and anime fanatics in general is a whole lot different than dissing the Swinburne or UTS anime club. But some people just take it a wrong way that they think you are insulting them. Opinions are opinions, they sometime do hurt but hey as long as they are general and not specifically aimed at someone, its fine.

Green Light Given, Adventure Begins

2011-08-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

I have enough exemptions for me to be allowed to stay and study here, so it is green lighted.
I am happy to be here
Still trying to adjust here though
Trying to find my footing, building up my social circle, thinking of what clubs to join, waiting for interviews from jobs

I am still pissed at the person who left me in the streets
Its funny what infatuation, interest and curiosity can do
I liked that person
To be ditched like that
Not cool
I am still angry
I know its not worth it
But sometimes you just cannot help it

Its either being angry at myself for being so stupid, being so naive
Its being angry at fate
Its being angry at said person for being a big ass jerk
What can I do eh?

My mood right now is so 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson
and
I wanna send the message of 'Don't Hold Your Breath' by Nicole Scherzinger to that piece of shitass jerk

First day of school

2011-08-01T08:17:00.000+08:00

Well, the pilot is still awaiting green light
I still do not know I am officially allowed to stay here because of the credits
But I wanted to, I need to
Because I feel like a new chapter of my life is starting right now
Having it cut short and then return home
It would suck so bad
I can only hope things get better from here
Something unexpectedly cruel happened last night
I could not believe it

Last night,
I have to say
I was not expecting what had happened
I don't want to talk about it
Since its a personal and emotional issue right now
There is no one else needing to worry about it
I am still trying to get my emotions in check
I have learned that I am overtly expressive
But controlling and stabilizing my emotions are definitely a challenge
I lose my temper easily, I cry easily
I definitely feel vulnerable and its hard to build a shell around myself
I still do not know who I am more angry at
Myself or that person

Its a real eye opener
You thought you know someone
But you actually don't
Heartbreaking essentially

But I am definitely not letting it get to me
If getting rid of the past
Is to move forward
Then I will

I am here to study
I have to focus
I don't know whether I would be totally be honest and open
or just build up a wall
All I know is that
Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life
I am feeling good that I am here
I am ready to kick ass

Falling out of love with you

2011-07-22T21:30:00.003+08:00

A story five years in the making
Distance prevented what could have happened
A longing towards getting together
To be with each other
Just to know
What true love feels

There were times where the paths could have crossed
Opportunities were given but never taken
Circumstances prevented these two people
From discovering the potential of their love

Leaded by hormones
Connected by commonalities
From there the love grows
But why oh why
Would these two lovers cannot be together

Is it fate?
Is it destined?
Is it always meant to be?
That we always will have the chance to be together
But circumstances will always prevent us to meet
Are we meeting?
Are we dating?
Are we going to learn about each other?
Because we better do as deep in my heart right now
I am falling out of love with you

Music is what brought these two together
A symphony of love emerged from there
The connection they felt was so special
But maybe not to all
At least for one of them
It is

Leaded by hormones

Connected by commonalities

From there the love grows

But why oh why

Would these two lovers cannot be together

Is it fate?

Is it destined?

Is it always meant to be?

That we always will have the chance to be together

But circumstances will always prevent us to meet

Are we meeting?

Are we dating?

Are we going to learn about each other?

Because we better do as deep in my heart right now

I am falling out of love with you

Its as simple as science and faith
The chemistry we had together was explosive
The love that grew from spending time with each other was expressive
It seems distance was the only obstruction
But is it enough to kill a love story
I don't think so but
I am
Falling out of love with you

Falling out of love with you
Falling out of love with you
Falling...

Is it fate?

Is it destined?

Is it always meant to be?

That we always will have the chance to be together

But circumstances will always prevent us to meet

Are we meeting?

Are we dating?

Are we going to learn about each other?

Because we better do as deep in my heart right now

I am falling out of love with you

Its like awaiting the the premiere/green light

2011-07-20T09:22:00.002+08:00

Well, the Brendan Goh spin-off from the Swinburne Debater's Club is awaiting green light
Whether or not the green light will be given
Whether Brendan will be staying in Sydney or forced to return to Kuching
You cannot deny that on both sides, you can have a great story and journey with endless possibilities to write on.

On one hand, the spin-off (Brendan staying in Sydney), gives him new adventures, new cast members, a fresh start essentially. It definitely will be different as there are new tasks and other priorities taking ahead of what he wants

''You definitely see some changes in Brendan, things will be different for him. There are a lot more opportunities and paths that he could take. A lot more dynamics coming in to play, there will be a part-time job, more emphasis on work and career as well as fitting in a much more easier to adapt environment'' said Fate, the show runner for both shows

When asked about the fact that Brendan will be living alone, caring for his aunt's apartment, Fate adds, ''The independence factor is certainly another new dynamic, Brendan now has more responsibility and roles to play around with. As well as living in his aunt's place, we definitely will see more drama, not only with his aunt but the house itself as well.''

''Debate is certainly taking a back seat this time, Brendan joined the debaters club to find friends and connect together with people who have some significant common ground with him back then, and we certainly have seen some lifelong friendships being formed,'' said Fate, '' Now, with an even more expansive list of association and clubs, we certainly see that Brendan is very much tempted with joining all the other societies, but who knows, as you have seen in the season finale, his debate books are with him, so who knows, there might be a return towards debate, everything is very much certainly up in the air in that department.''

However, Fate does add that the new cast members won't be revealed until later episodes, which could stretch as far as until mid-season. ''This series really emphasizes on Brendan himself, so the first few episodes will be about living in a new place and adjusting about it as well as the numerous problems that come in the way, we certainly do have a rotating cast of recurring and guest actors to interact with but certainly nothing has set in stone about the other cast.''

As for the other side of the spectrum, if the pilot fails, then Brendan would indeed return to the original show as a series regular

''We will have Brendan dealing with the regret, the sadness and disappointment of the withdrawal and we would definitely see his emotions go a bit unstable at times, he will definitely be sad. Although, yes, he will accept the fact that he is not going to study overseas for now, it does not mean he cannot do it later or that he cannot be pissed about it. Moreover, there was a romance in development with him and another person which was cut short due to the potential of the new series. We see what happens when he returns to that. There definitely is a few more stories left untold here and there but we'd really wish that the new show pulls through because of the more stories that can be told.''

The new Brendan Goh show which is as yet untitled is still in limbo with the network executives but there are certainly a few names were thrown around. There are a lot but we are showcasing a few ridiculous ones that are actually being considered. Therefore we are listing the ones that we do not like or think would not work to the showrunner that these titles should not even be considered or even thought of:

Ugly Brendan
Brendan and the city
Brendan: Life on the uni lane
Brendan takes on Sydney
The Life of Brendan Goh
How I Met Brendan Goh
Bimbo Theory
Charming Brendan
Project Brendan
Goh's Anatomy
Keeping Up with Brendan Goh
Sydney Shore
The Only Way is Brendan
Brendan Who
The Brendan Goh Show
The Brendan Show
The Good Student
Gossip Boy
Desperate Brendan
Brendan Legal

As well as the Chelsea Handler rip-offs
Brendan's Horizontal Life
Are you there Chardonnay? Its me, Brendan
Brendan Brendan Bang Bang
Lies that Brendan Goh told me

Brendzblog Sanctuary Breached

2011-06-22T12:46:00.000+08:00

Brendzblog is my avenue of releasing stress when no one is around
It is one of my comforts, releasing what I feel or what I want to say in this little website of mine
No repurcussions (well almost none), no censorship, no control over what I should say or what I should not share
I set up this website way back in 2006 because I have no one to relate to and I needed a place for me where I can feel accepted
I was lonely back then

I mean, I do have friends and I love them for that but the level of closeness of what I have experienced between my friends in high school and the ones in Swinburne were worlds apart.
I don't miss my high school friends but I certainly do miss the uni ones, (yes Cyril u maybe form both but ur better in uni)
I was ecstatic when graduated from high school but leaving Swinburne, transferring to a different country, I find it very surprising that it feels bittersweet.
I was sad that I could not get to know better some of the newer friends who I have begun to be closer with and I was sad that I could not spend more time with people that I hold dear, people who dare I say, consider that they are family.
I never had that kind of closeness back in high school.

But now as you can see, most of the stuff I write here are cryptic somewhat
Come on, if you read closely you would know what I am writing about
But yeah
I 'complicate' things
You see... my sanctuary has been breached, my parents found my blog site
I was pissed that now, I cannot say or do whatever I wanted to do
But now that I am in a different country and they cannot remember the name of this site
I guess you can say that I can say whatever I want
But I cannot think these days for some reason

I guess having friends in uni, they are my main source of people that I bitch to about
I have an avenue to release my stress
Yet at the same time learn to care and appreciate them like the individuals that they are
A form of mutual respect that grows in to care and love.
I love my friends and it kills me that they are not here with me
I am leaving my support system and I know I can create a new one
So here it begins
My journey in Australia, awaiting its commencement
Lets hope it does not get cancelled before it even started
Then again, lets hope it the series has run its due course
I do not know what to expect, but I know this journey is not easy
I hope I have the strength to do this

So close yet so far

2011-06-13T08:45:00.000+08:00

1. Make sure my grades are fantastic
2. Make sure I am healthy
3. Make sure that my duration of study in the Aussie Uni is 1-1.5 years
4 I need it to be in a G8 uni

Lets hope conditions 1 to 3 go very smooth and condition 4 is a big yes as well.
Wish me luck
Or I am pretty sure its the return of the disgraced prodigal son

Sigh to the Broken Heart

2011-05-28T08:28:00.003+08:00

Take a breath
Let it out
Let you vocals hiss the sound

Feel your head
Feel it clear out
Calm yourself down
Let the feeling flow

It could be a sign of relief
It could be a sign of defeat
A possible indication of regret
And sometimes there is nothing to do, but

Sigh
Let it all out
Let it relax you right now
And sigh
Let it wash all over you
Let your breath release the tension inside you

Cause there is nothing that I can do
I know that I love you
But now that is all over
There is nothing I can do but sigh

The moments were bliss
The kisses that I would miss
Now that its all over
Oh what I wouldn't give

Its been a fun ride
Its been a great time
Girl, we been through thick and thin
Now you say its over, I can only

Sigh

Let it all out

Let it relax you right now

And sigh

Let it wash all over you

Let your breath release the tension inside you

Cause there is nothing that I can do

I know that I love you

But now that is all over

There is nothing I can do but sigh

I feel it course to my veins

Girl I felt the pain

Why did you have to break my heart

Let all these crazy thoughts inside my head

Where did I go wrong

Why am I not good enough for you

What I can never give

That wanna make you sever our ties

I am angry at you

Disappointed in you

For making me the shell of the man

I used to be

You killed my heart

Shut down my brain

Forming tears in my eyes

But there is way too much to process, so I

Sigh

Let it all out

Let it relax you right now

And sigh

Let it wash all over you

Let your breath release the tension inside you

Cause there is nothing that I can do

I know that I love you

But now that is all over

There is nothing I can do but sigh

Sigh

Let it all out

Let it relax you right now

And sigh

Let it wash all over you

Let your breath release the tension inside you

Cause there is nothing that I can do

I know that I love you

But now that is all over

There is nothing I can do but sigh

You are not my everything

2011-05-28T08:13:00.002+08:00

You are not my everything
You are not my everything
You are not my everything
You are not my everything

Don't think that I would always depend on you
Don't think that I would always be with you
I am not always going to be at your side
I have my own life
And I do what I want oh...

Cause you think that you can control me
Making me following you around
Dictate my actions
Predict my thoughts
Boy, I can surely tell you that you so wrong

You are not my everything oh oh

Here's the story
Boy meets girl
Girl falls in love with boy
Boy loves girl way too much
Becomes extremely possessive

He's always worrying when she will cheat on him
He's always wondering when will it be over
He is scared that when she's gone
He will have nothing to live for

So he puts her on a leash
Treats her like his little bitch
Makes sure that she follows her around
Never leaving out of his sight, but

You are not my everything

Don't think that I would always depend on you

Don't think that I would always be with you

I am not always going to be at your side

I have my own life

And I do what I want oh...

Cause you think that you can control me

Making me following you around

Dictate my actions

Predict my thoughts

Boy, I can surely tell you that you so wrong

You are not my everything oh oh

She couldn't say anything

She loves him way too much

She follows him around

Not knowing man don't know how to treat a lady

But the signs are popping up around

When he starts to dominate her

When he forbids her to see her friends

When he gets angry when talking to another man

Now girlfriend dunno what to do

She is torn by her freedom and the man she loves

What is logically is an easy decision

Now all she sees is complications

Doesn't she know that

You are not my everything

Don't think that I would always depend on you

Don't think that I would always be with you

I am not always going to be at your side

I have my own life

And I do what I want oh...

Cause you think that you can control me

Making me following you around

Dictate my actions

Predict my thoughts

Boy, I can surely tell you that you so wrong

You are not my everything oh oh

Why the man has to be such a dick

Why the girl is such a dumb bitch

Why can't she see the problem can be easily solved

Why does she let him could her judgment

Its funny what we make ourselves do

Suffer and tolerate through

They call it crazy in love

But we all know its just shit to us

A letter to the fucker who schedule the final exams

2011-05-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Fucker who scheduled the final exams...

First of all, I would like to say that you, sir/madam should grab a .38 and stuff it into your asshole and shoot yourself. You have caused serious emotional malfunction towards this very already emotionally deranged, delusional, over-dramatic and drastic student who wants to transfer into a different university in July.Why? Simple... The subjects Management Accounting for Planning and Control and Corporate Accounting are only TWO(2) days apart. TWO freaking days. TWO motherfucking short days which will cause serious mental issues towards every student who took both subjects stated. Do you know how taxing this is? Do you know how much am I freaking out right now? I tell you how much... Enough to make me think of murdering your ass and spending time thinking very very sick thoughts about methods towards torturing your absolutely sad existence. Then to add insult to injury, you put my other subject, Contract Law on the 9th of June... That means that from the period from 26th of May till the 9th of June, I will be spending time to study Contract Law, time that should have been given for me to study Corporate Accounting!

Corporate Accounting is known to be one of those killer subjects with absolutely high failing rates and you put it two days later from another subject. What the fuck are you thinking? And to put it on the 26th aka 4th day of exam to add insult to injury, that really is the last straw buddy. If I am going to die, I might as well take you down with me right? You better hope that my diligence and superior accounting rockstar talent can pull through this or your head is on my plate and my foot shoved deep into your ass and a spoon stuck into your stomach being used to scoop your guts out. How dare you ignore the business students! Fucker...

Seriously, you better hope I pass or else. I will make...

Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson gang rape you. This is to show how pathetic you are as those two are the most submissive, pussyboy faces that you will ever meet and to get fucked by a bunch of pussy boys?

You listen to over 100 versions of Rebecca Black's Friday and watch all the episodes of Dora The Explorer twice! This is to show you the supreme boredom I will face from 26th of May onwards

Gut you with a spoon and then let a vulture come and pick your guts. After that, fire ants shall be spread all over your body and adding in a bit of salt. This is to show you how torturing my current dilemma is

Rob you off all your money. I need to pay for my tuition somehow right? To the University of Newcastle!

Stuff your head inside an elephant's ass and then let it shower poop all over you. This is to make me laugh from a distance inside an air conditioned room.

Yeah... so you better be careful... There are a bunch of other things I wanted to write but I have to study and besides, the thoughts I put here will make blogger to put a content warning all over the page.

Regards
You better make sure I get HDs for all subjects.

Sigh

2011-05-16T21:51:00.000+08:00

Life sucks... It just sucks...

When can I get to finally go to UNSW?

When can I finally get accepted to the Unis that I wanted

Sigh

Life sucks

I am doomed

2011-05-14T20:13:00.001+08:00

Not blogging, exams soon.
Blame Corporate Accounting
I am doomed
Officially doomed
Typing this blogpost is like typing the will for my imminent funeral
Shit
I am in deep deep shit

Departed

2011-04-29T13:39:00.001+08:00

Oh...Oh............Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh eh oh oh eh seh oh eh wa
Oh... Oh............ Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh eh oh oh eh seh oh eh wa

I visualize
living in a different place
London, LA, Paris, Sydney
And I know one day
I would be living there
Cause there's nothing here for me

One thing that I would miss
The people who gave me bliss
My circle of friends
Who I can't take with me

I would miss you
I know that I won't be by your side
But though I know it was meant to be
It just sucks that we are departed

I know I would
miss out a lot
And it just sucks to know about that
And even though one day
We would meet again
It would somehow never feel like the same

I would miss all the times
The heartfelt bitching intertwined
All the drama, all the moments
That I am going to leave behind

I would miss you

I know that I won't be by your side

But though I know it was meant to be

It just sucks that we are departed

I know that this is for the best,

I know that these moments would not last

But it does not make me feel better

Cause I wish

That you would be here with me

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I would miss you

I know that I won't be by your side

But though I know it was meant to be

It just sucks that we are departed

Departed

Shit people say in debate

2011-04-22T17:21:00.001+08:00

I have said a bunch of crap in debate but obviously none that would exceed my current best, which is

"We would torture these terrorist by feeding them pork and alcohol only''. (Debate on whether torture was a legitimate tool in interrogating terrorist)

Yes, I am a very insensitive and sadistic little bitch.
But when it comes to fun debates like about legalizing prostitution, the 'fun' factor just increases.
And when I mean fun
I mean dirty comments that are down right stupid and hilarious.
Though obviously I do not say any of those following
But the fact that juniors said this, was hilarious

My favorite was this

'Prostitutes earn more than Google, Nike and Starbucks combined'

Other notable quotes are

'By legalizing prostitution, you would have a lot of unwanted pregnancies'

'Swinburne University turning into a sex show' (Don't ask me how or why was it there)

'One person can only be allowed one prostitute as a partner'

'Prostitutes have to attend a workshop and a test'

'Money earn from prostitute can be used to fund schools and other government initiatives'

'I do not want to attend a school funded by prostitutes'

'Legalizing prostitution will cause a severe decrease in the work force because everyone will get STDs'

'The opposition say yes to bribery and no to prostitution'

'Humans have the right to get laid'

'What if the clients are underage?'

'Possibility of fake results on STD test'

Album Review: Femme Fatale by Britney Spears

2011-04-03T13:03:00.002+08:00

Yes, you do realize that this review, goes without saying that I did it a little bit faster than the rest of them. Btw, I am reviewing the deluxe edition.

1. Till The World Ends

2. Hold It Against Me

3. Inside Out

4. I Wanna Go

5. How I Roll

6. (Drop Dead) Beautiful

7. Seal It With a Kiss

8. Big Fat Bass

9. Trouble For Me

10. Trip To Your Heart

11. Gasoline

12. Criminal

13. Up n' Down

14. He About to Lose Me

15. Selfish

16. Don't Keep Me Waiting

Notable Songs: Till The World Ends, Hold It Against Me, Inside Out, Gasoline.

The Good: Production was absolutely fantastic in this album. The beats, the music and the overall presentation sounds like a clubbers haven. Its definitely a joy to play this full blast in my car. Enjoying every minute of it while crusing down the street listening to it. Heck, I even curse less when people cut me off or drive very irresponsibly. I love some of the weird songs in there like 'How I Roll', 'Criminal' and 'Trip to Your Heart', they definitely serve some notable singles and the quirkiness of it is much loved.

The Bad: The sad fact is that the album is over worked, it becomes suddenly just myriad of club beats playing with Britney singing along in the background. Kinda sad as Britney does not need all of these production stuff because her vocals are fantastic as it is.

Overall: A disappointment, but still proud, hope we get more of this quirkiness but less of the production value and allow Britney's voice to shine.

Overall: Disappointed at the album but proud of it at the same time.

Rating: 3/5

Redemption... on the verge of an epic fail.

2011-04-01T09:12:00.000+08:00

Midterms were a definite killer, both symbolically and literally. There is no denying that everyone has to go through this process of jitters, worry, panic, sweat and hours of studying in some room only to go to the venue and do the test and fuck it up within the span of the duration of the test. Yes, of course there are times that we do well and we are happy about it which may I add the fact that I am rarely about that these days and yes there is no need for me to complain about my midterms as everyone has also gone through the same process but having 3 midterm tests for the past 4 days is taxing and makes me imagine how I had survive two weeks of continuous writing and fretting during my days in high school. However, with the road to redemption being a lot more bumpy than it should be, I pray that the vehicle I chose (which by now I still dunno if its a SUV, sedan, convertible, truck, a piece of junk or a very pimped up piece of junk) will be able to reach my destination. I know that I am in for a fight and I am ready for it but I just hope and pray that I can make it. So anyway, here is what happened.

Contract Law

Contract Law, going in, I had somewhat of a full proof plan. I got the guide, I got the textbook, they work well tremendously. Open book test within a span of one hour, no problem till I hit a little snag with one of the questions, thinking too much obviously, I had realized that I had completely omitted one segment of a question, I managed to finished it but only having to sacrifice my last two questions. The second last was fine, only bad handwriting but the last one with 4 marks, I only managed to scribble somewhat of a sentence. My hands were to put it in an over dramatic fashion, gelatinous for the final 5 minutes. With 30% carrying on this midterm, I was obviously not too happy about fucking this one up. More importantly with said full proof plan being not entirely full proof and the unusual and unpredictable nature of the marking system, I am left begging for a high mark.

Management Accounting for Planning and Control

10 multiple choice questions, 40 choices.Gee such an easy task eh? Its only seven percent too. Doing well meant getting at the very least 8 out of 10 correct but with knowing that I already have 2 questions possibly on the wrong end. I am pretty much very worried. Though I do admit that at the time, the two hour Financial Accounting test would be a much larger priority, since its 15 percent of total grade and 100% absolute torture. It is basically down to the same level as putting some straight, homophobic guy to listen to Justin Bieber on the loop in his car and make sure everyone knows that its blaring of the speakers of his supposedly macho junk car. So yeah, I expect some shortcomings from this but I am worried of the extent of damage this neglect has done.

Financial Accounting

DIE!!!!!!!!!! Going in even the great blessings from Mother Monster, Lady Gaga herself could not prepare me for the nerves and jitters and penultimate suffering that I will receive from this baby. 36 multiple choice where most of them were basically holding a gun and shoot at the target, hoping it strikes. The questions at best were very minutely detailed where I realized that I forgotten most of them even though I knew I read them from somewhere. To add insult to injury,there are another two structured questions for us to tackle.Oh the joy, seeing the question being separated in more segments than a cheapskate with pizza! Sigh, it was always the quiet lecturers that give us the most suffering to endure. Never mind about the jerks, they at least warned you about it. Chan Soon Hua with his every continuous ums and hums which can be a very good drinking game (which could end either with you being shit ass drunk or die from alcohol poisoning) and very sweet natured personality was basically an evil spawn from the depths of hell awaiting to pounce on us unsuspectingly with financial accounting paraphernalia. We knew we were in for a fight but not a long and arduous battle and certainly not an all out war resulting from a planned preemptive strike but there we were, fighting for our lives. We certainly look like we had been in a war when we come back or getting ass raped or both. Either way, the ink stains on our hands proved it. I practically scrambled in the last 5 minutes, managing to finish my paper, though I do not know the state of well being of my paper, I do know this: I fucked it up. Yes we were all crying, basically, some of my friends did not even finish. I can only imagine the shit we are getting into with other future subjects that are obviously more suffering than this.

Well, its all done now. Time to focus on assignments, time to focus on WSDC, time to have fun and relax. I shall await the time where I get to move away from this godforsaken place to a slightly better and much more livable place. No, I can no longer handle my job as the family doggy nanny, personal assistant and overall punching bag/slave. I need to be out fast. July seems like an eternity now. Also, starting gym. Also my brothers are practically the most stupid people on earth who have never heard of th term 'manual' and 'photocopy'. As if hell in life is not enough.

Maybe

2011-03-26T01:02:00.001+08:00

Maybe we could be together

Be with each other forever

Like two fated lovers

Finally getting each other

Maybe we could end up as friends

Brothers sworn until the end

Wouldn't it funny if it been

That we used to like each other

We could dream as much as we wanted

Coloring the skies the way we liked it

But for me, whatever happens happens

Cause its the way God intended it to be

Maybe are just maybes

Giving endless possibilities

No use fretting about it

But why can't I stop thinking about you

Maybe because I know I love you

And you know that you love me too

The tension is undeniable

I find you irresistible

I could kiss you right now

But for now, its nothing but a maybe

Maybe we are like horny teenagers

Publicly kissing to inform other people

That we are passionate lovers

Inseparable practically forever

Maybe our relationship will deepen more

Like shopping together at the grocery store

Debating over Oreo or Chipsmore

And all the petty things that I adore

I don't know if we would fight a lot

I don't know if we would fuck that much

All I know its that I want to give it a shot

But as I said, our fates are left to God

Maybe are just maybes

Giving endless possibilities

No use fretting about it

But why can't I stop thinking about you

Maybe because I know I love you

And you know that you love me too

The tension is undeniable

I find you irresistible

I could kiss you right now

But for now, its nothing but a maybe

Its just sad that we are never at the same place at the same time

Oh how I wish that you were mine

We make each other feel like we are in cloud nine

But how come God is not so kind

Dividing us apart with a natural borderline

Maybe are just maybes

Giving endless possibilities

No use fretting about it

But why can't I stop thinking about you

Maybe because I know I love you

And you know that you love me too

The tension is undeniable

I find you irresistible

I could kiss you right now

But for now, its nothing but a maybe

Nothing but a maybe

Reflections of a 21 year old

2011-03-10T09:48:00.000+08:00

Yes, another year older, another year wiser, another year spent on figuring out what the heck am I going to do after graduation.
But I let the mood flow, life goes on and what not
But do I feel evolved like a pokemon, certainly not.
In fact, I feel the same, only a lot less bitchier than the 16 year old me

But one thing I do come realize is that
The people make the party
Not the party make the party

I guess I have grown up a bit
I don't argue as much
I am less obsessed
I know what is important in life (I think, you can never be too sure)
I learned to listen from both sides of the story instead of listening only to the one that feels righteous and true
I felt that I am now more appreciative for those who are around and close to me
Kuching sans the bloody fucking Asians who rave on stupidity seems somewhat comfortable now
Like a foreigner finally adjusting to his surroundings, yeah, it takes 21 years to do that
London is home like in 3 days, Australia is familiar in a week, but 21 years for Kuching
Why?
You know it, I know it, there is only one explanation.

Now, that currently, my plans to be a foreign student seems to be imminent and possible and will occur in a very short time.
I am scrambling to keep my grades up and also, to spend more time with those I hold dear.
Its like mass producing those moments which makes you appreciate the people in your life
Luckily, I am taking 3 subjects this year
With the fact that I am worrying practically all the time about my future education
The time that I need to spend with friends
And the time needed to spend on ensuring my place in a good university which means focusing on more homework.
I would be very busy now
This blog as usual will still be in my life
But it will be a dear friend that I will visit less due to my current commitments.
As is with it the past year or so
Looks like its time to rally up, kick ass and hope for the best

Turning 21 is a a pain

2011-03-04T10:47:00.000+08:00

I have always imagined my 21st birthday party to be something extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring that Lady Gaga's next video would somehow pay tribute to said extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring party. Instead I have a low key celebration where the only thing that bears some resemblance to that extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring party is the cake.

I guess my dreams of being a spoiled brat with the awesome party is officially over cause after you turn 21, ie being officially an adult (still not seeing that happening anytime soon), being allowed to vote (i do not give a shit) and get the maximum sentence regardless of any crime you commit (whoop de doo, u looking at a future bitch pussy boy), you are kinda not a spoiled brat anymore.

Other than that, there is the whole age thing going on. You going to be ancient, you going to feel ancient and then also you get that fierce determination to do something big before you turn 25 because after that everything just goes into stagnant shit mode.

Well, I guess I did something "mature" once. Listening to my dad and deciding to spend my birthday with the family instead of arguing with him and debating the advantages of spending my birthday in a debate tournament and the disadvantages of hosting a party at home which I might add, will NEVER happen if I did not say anything. Yes, that is how pathetically cheap and awe-inspiringly insensitive my parents are. You would think that an avid traditional buddhist fanatic and a bimbotic woman who knows the terms "celebration" and "enjoyment" like a christian fanatic knowing every single verse in the bible would think of something as traditional as their son's 21st birthday should be special. If given to them, I would spend the morning cutting some stupid key shaped birthday cake, eating stupid red eggs, giving half of key shaped cake to unappreciative relatives who never eat them because they are old and sugar is like poison to them or something and then given some key that would open to absolutely nothing. Never mind the Porsche, never mind the Mazda RX-8, the Maserati is miles away along with the Mini Countryman, the BMW M3, X6 or the Z convertible are somewhere over the rainbow, forget about the 75' Dodge Viper, forget about anything. That key probably does not even open a lock and even if there is a lock, it would be as lost as an episode of Lost.

To be honest, I cancelled my trip. A trip to debate sure but also a trip to spend nights with friends giggling, partying, gossiping, drinking. A trip to have sex and not needing to worry what happens later. A trip to have absolute fun. And I gave that up for what? A half hearted party? You wanted me to stay so that you can watch me like some Pokemon evolving the minute I turned 21 and you barely made an effort to do so to celebrate that occasion? Being disappointed is an understatement, heck being murderously furious would be an understatement right now.

I am already very unhappy that some of my close friends would not be around to celebrate this occasion with me because apparently debating is more important that someone's birthday, more specifically mine! Neither any of them who are going, planned a pre celebration for me. NO, its all study this, debate that, all for what? Head into some tournament where only one team will be having some what of a chance to break into octofinals and get eliminated from there? Clinging on to that smidge of hope that they will break only to have it crushed? Yes, I am angry, I am not happy but I do understand the circumstances and I wish them all the best but I still have the right to be pissed. I am OLDER than the Malaysian Debate Open after all. And they are missing my Pokemon evolution and the cake.

Now, my parents are now trying to sabotage my party on what they think is better. My father wants to invite my relatives even though I made it clear that A) it should be a friends only party and B) if he wants to include my relatives that the celebration should be seperate. I do not want the door of my house be some replica of the Berlin Wall or the Great Wall of China. You know what, it is the Great Wall of China. My friends and relatives will be as seperated as the seperation of church and state in the democracy of the United States of America. Not only do I have to speak to both sides of the family running around like some stupid messenger in a frantic motion, my friends would feel more than a bit awkward. And worse is that my dad will go into another of his tirades to satisfy his attention seeking fulfilment or my relatives putting in racist remarks. I practically have a replica of the whole One Malaysia shit going on, all you need is a bunch of whites, blacks and latinos and I pretty much have the whole UN in there! I am sure my friends are open-minded but still its embarassing to be known to come from such an ignorant and isolated background.

Then my mother absolutely surprising need to butt in and just make everything worse only to be blamed and then screamed and go into defense mode. Simple fact is, her opinions just makes things worse. I am alright with her switching the sizes of the cake, I love chocolate anyway but to spray GOLD leafs, GOLD shit all over my cake, to be worried is an understatement. I dunno if my cake is going to look like lady gaga or a cheap tramp ass whore. I dunno if its going to look expensive or look incredibly cheap. I dunno if my cake will live up to my dream and satisfaction of getting my cake right. Then there is the fact that I have to get the front porch cleaned because of the damned grasscutter simply cutting the grass sending blades of weed and grass to the front porch and clogging the drain.

Then there are my brothers that provide nothing but absolute uselessness in helping out. In fact Ryan's impulsiveness would threaten to ruin my party and a sloth would be more active than Darren. Also, I pretty much have absolute zero help. The party is tomorrow night, I am already in tatters and feeling the 'rage' of evolution. I know I have not done this in a long time but I am requesting that You, God to help me in this difficult time of sorrow and torture. I know that some people who keep on praying for You, claiming they are being Your best friend, saying that they can define and express their relationship with You like they are like your BFF or something and saying that being judgmental, hypocritic bitchest that they are, doing whatever shit they condemn doing. I have not been much trouble lately but I need you help right now so yeah, please do help, thank you.

The Ultimate Fangirl FanFic

2011-02-18T20:02:00.000+08:00

Its been in my mind for quite some time but hey, why don't I give it a shot. I have been reading a few online fanfics recently out of curiousity and the fact that I wanna think what else the iPad is good for other than playing games, taking down notes (real test to be put on soon during lecture) and blurt to almost any Apple worshipper who does not have an iPad, that I have an iPad. And yes, I am that bored. Don't get me wrong but my Kindle, cell phone, computer and iPod pretty much already filled any other void that the iPad can fill.

Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, David Henrie, Seungri, Taeyang, TOP, G-Dragon, Daesung, Aaron Carter, Nick Carter, All 25 members of Super Junior, Shinee, Se7en, Rain, Jay Chou, Wang Lee Hom, The men of 90210, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and Glee all gather together, laid down on one knee and proposed to me, somefatselfobsessedchickwithnobrains. I accepted them all, they spend their days cleaning after me, making love to me, shower me with gifts, make me more money and stuff.

The end

Album Review: Science & Faith by the Script

2011-02-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

This has been a while, its not because I was really late in buying this album. The reason is that I keep looping the album in the car and I always seem to have somehow forgotten about blogging about this album or when I actually do remember it, it was not the right time, so now finally, I have the time to do so. So now here is the review. The song list are as follows

You Won't Feel a Thing
For the First Time
Nothing
Science & Faith
If You Ever Come Back
Long Gone and Moved On
Dead Man Walking
This is Love
Walk Away
Exit Wounds

Notable Songs: Nothing, Science & Faith, Exit Wounds & If You Ever Come Back

The Good: The fact that the songs in the Script can range from a soothing song that calms your nerves, to songs that can make you feel good to songs that you can see yourself making out with someone in your car is just fantastic for my car. No matter what song it plays, it would set the mood straight. If I feel sad, the song comforts me, if I feel pissed, it calms me down. But now from a non psyche standpoint, it really is not much different than the first album in terms of sound, you still hear what you hear from the first album. This can only mean one thing: it justs gets better and better. The lyrics are poetic and the songs by the Script this time do not really drone on like one real long song like the first one. Which is fantastic

You Won't Feel a Thing is a nice song, a sort of intro towards the main content like it is some kind of prequel. I liked it as I felt it was a good taste before dwelling into more deeper 'Scriptness'

For the First Time may be released as a single but it does not stand out for me as it kinds of blends in or gets out shone by the other songs, definitely less catchier than the others.

Nothing is a great standard Script song. I love it because it just reminds me why I liked them.

Science & Faith is my favourite in the album. I love how the lyrics just speak out in relation to well science and faith. I love it so much that its just so romantic. Slightly different than the usual Script's emo tone, but I love it more than usual.

If You Ever Come Back is noted because I find myself connected to the song, post Science & Faith syndrome a maybe but hey, I love it none the less.

Dead Man Walking is a catchy song and somewhat eerie. Definitely a pop out but a subtle one.

This is Love talks about sacrifice and love.

Walk Away is really really catchy and it has that slightly eerieness that's present in Dead Man Walking

Exit Wounds is my personal favourite as it is pretty much the most dramatic song in the album and I know how getting your heart broken feels like and if I ever need something to set my mood, Exit Wounds it is.

The Bad: Its the same old thing, there may be slight variations but nothing much. I also feel that for some reason 10 songs is just not enough. After Exit Wounds, it felt like a cliffhanger for some reason.

Overall: I find it a very enjoyable album to listen to, definitely room for improvement but very enjoyable nontheless, on par with the first album though I do find myself preferring the first one at times.

Rating: Script gets 4 out of 5. Good but not good enough to warrant a huge success from me

Debate future in doubt

2011-02-05T23:35:00.000+08:00

To be honest, at first I really liked debating. Not only in the sense of intellectual discussions and the obvious mind blowing realizations that you get into it but also the friends that I have made through debating. Debaters are not just a bunch of people getting into a club and sit in a stuffy room and then talk shit, debaters are also a community of heavy drinkers and interesting life stories that you can listen to tirelessly. It's fun, its great, its fantastic but after I leave Swinburne, I highly doubt that I would continue debating nor return to it after a hiatus. In fact, I am actually contemplating on retiring debating.

It has come to a point in my life that I ask myself this question: Debating maybe fun but is it something that I would use to its full extent in my future? The answer is no. Unless I am into political science, I highly find much use of it other than arguing with my parents to get myself out of messy situations or proving my points properly. I am a writer at heart, a person who likes to write, who likes to read and convey my feelings through a pen and paper or through a keyboard and a monitor or through the ipad or the keypads on my cell phone who by the way, is currently pursuing an accounts major. Speaking maybe one of my fortes but I'd prefer to write any time of the day.

Next, it has also come to a point where I am need of the feeling to expand my horizons, finding another side of me. The debaters club and its debaters have housed my social needs for the past 3 years. I have made many friends there from book geeks to womanizers where I have become someone's potential groomsmen and someone's enemy. But now, there are other horizons unexplored, other communities that are practically unseen and invisible to me. It is now time for me to weed out another cast of people with the same interests as I have where those interests that I have never explored yet. It feels interesting to do that.

No one can replace the friendships that I have made from Swinburne, especially the debaters. Which makes me highly doubt that I can make close friends from other debaters club. They are just a bunch of really cool people that I don't think other people may be up to par with them. It took me exactly a whole year to finally being able to be comfortable with the debaters. I highly doubt I have that kind of patience anymore. Plus and besides, I kinda miss having a small cast like Entourage or Sex and the City or to a certain extent, Desperate Housewives. The whole Glee cast thing was fun, but I want to have a larger spotlight in my life now.

Well, in the end, lets just say this. Tentatively, it looks like I am heading to MDO and KDO as my last two retirement tour dates.

Chinese is good enough for me

2011-01-12T06:46:00.000+08:00

That statement above is the most bloody fucked up sentence in the history if sentences ever created. Bloody fucking Asians of lower class and stupidity would always say these, especially those from Chinese educated mediums. Look, if Chinese is bloody fucking important, everyone in the world would be communicating in Chinese by now. Yes, I know that China is a powerhouse in the international economy but that does not mean that you should drop English in its entirety. Hello, people still trade with the Americans! Do you see the Chinese Yuan as an important currency? You usually trade with the States (USD), the Brits (GBP), the Europeans (Euro) and the Japanese (Yen). If the Yuan is not important you think the Ringgit is? The next most important is probably South Africa (Rand).

Sometimes I don't know whether I should pity or look them in disgust of those certain types. Choosing to focus on one language while neglecting the rest. I don't know if its whether the way they were raised or is it the perception of their deluded mind that English is not an imprtant language. Look don't blame me that the whole world uses English, blame the industrial revolution, blame those explorers who conquer the lands and in turn moulding us into the way that we are now, it was not our fault that everyone speaks English. It is the world as it is today and we have to adapt in order to survive. It just abhors me that why would these people not think for the betterment of themselves.

These bloody Malaysians feel comfortable in their little world, not thinking about their consequences, not thinking about how to better their lives, just living so stagnant and comfortable without a care in the world. When things turn for the worse, they let others to solve their problem, you know why so many young Malaysians these days are bankrupt because they got no balls to settle their debt, if they got into deepshit, just declare bankruptcy and all your problems will be solved, not caring about their rights and obligations. That is a prime example of a bunch of quitters right there.

I do not know why these people are so content with Chinese or their respective mother tongues and not learn their own language. My first language may be English but hey I still learn Chinese, I may hate it when i was a kid and my level of Chinese is not at a very high level but at least I am fluent and able to speak the langauge properly. It is another tool and another advantage for me as well as getting to learn my culture. If there is a fear of not being fluent in Chinese that means that you betray your culture, that is just complete bullshit, in the modern world, loads of people are multilingual yet still appreciate and follow the values of their respective culture. There is not necessarily the need of one culture to be communicated through their own language, other languages are possible too because languages are used to communicate.

Personally I do not know what to do with these people, if you really want to learn, then get out of your comfort zone, I did, why shouldn't they do it too? Complacency is a sin, honestly.

Resolutions

2011-01-07T09:10:00.002+08:00

People always make resolutions in the new year, vowing to change themselves and their lifestyle, but as we all know, most people don't keep their resolutions, so I plan to and will not be one of those people. After, a resolution is a promise, a promise to yourself. If you cannot promise yourself, then what good you are to other people? Plus, I hope that I am not a hypocrite which is a recessive gene in both parents and a certain someone who is a dear friend says that I have all the recessive genes of my parents, which is true, I guess. Good god, how the hell am I going to do this...

Resolution 1: CB or MMM

Cut Back or Make More Money or what I would prefer to call, Crappy Budget and Make Me Miserable. So I either save more or earn more money, both requiring some form of sacrifice. MMM, please, MMM, I cannot do CB, goodness gracious god knows what would happen when I see that really really really pretty looking cashmere cardigan from Esprit... But that means taking a part time job... but where? what? and how? Should I do waitering (GOOD GOD NO) or food servicing like starbucks (errr... even though I don't frequently go to Starbucks, but I would like to be anonymous) or shop assisting? Btw, where the hell is a personal shopping job opening when you need one, now THAT I can do.

Resolution 2: Get ~~Healthy,~~ ~~Fit~~, ~~Sexy~~, ~~Athletic~~, a Flat Belly, Flat Ass, Reduce Waist Size to 31 and or below, Skinny thighs and calves, pecs that are absolutely alright for an athlete or well toned person, thin looking face, muscles, etc, anything that looks good with exercise. YES, EXERCISE!

Sign up for a gym membership or work out at home or stuff... Basically I need to get well, yeah, sexy again. I need to bring sexy back. Apparently dancing to Britney in my room is not enough.

Resolution 3: Sing and Dance more!!!!

I realize I don't dance and sing in my room as often as I used to, so yeah, lets do that!

Resolution 4: Cut down on shopping, buy what is necessary

But I need to define necessity though, sigh, basically shop a lot less. Less visiting shops, any kind of shops...

Resolution 5: Go Vegan, Vegetarian, whatever, anything to do with veg and no more red meat, though I need a good dose of protein though, guys need protein right?

I wonder does Kuching sell, Nutrigrain?

Resolution 6: Be more positive and be more enthusiastic, be more ass kissy

But I wonder does that mean, be less me? I dunno, I should be more happy in life and less stressful, apparently stress makes you fat since you dive for chocolate more, I hate stress, screw my mother and the whole drama about overseas application and finances and whatever, only make me even more stress and chocolate craving! I am so going to disown my parents if Ryan gets to spend his whole degree in overseas. I mean do you apply first get accpeted and work the finances later ot you work the finances first apply and then get accepted, would I even get accepted in the first place?

Resolution 7: Drive less, bike more

But I have to learn to ride a bike

Prerequisite Resolution to Resolution 7 also known as Resolution 7(b): Learn to ride a bicycle.

Hah! Eat that Swinburne, I get to be more eco-friendly, lose more weight and do not need to pay for your overpriced parking! HA! But that means I should learn to ride like now and stuff...

Resolution 8: Put a lot less effort in Debating

Yes, my epiphany in the largest shopping mall in the Southern Hemisphere (Chadstone) came to me when I was staring at this gorgeous pair of pink cargo pants in Esprit (which I did not buy as I got too many cargo pants already), and that really pretty orange shirt at Ben Sherman (which I still did not buy because its to expensive) and that pretty looking black tee from Esprit (which I did not buy because the price is slightly unreasonable, actually reasonable also because of fear of my mom bitching about my obsession with plain black T-shirts, I mean seriously like 7 black tees is reasonable right?) and the really nice Japanese inspired hoodie at Rampage (although really cheap and I can buy but I didn't because that would make 5 outerwears that I own which in my mother's world and perception and supposed law of men being minimalist where 90% of closet space should be for women, I would probably get yelled at even though its so pretty and SO JAPAN, well at least I think it is with all the Japanese and Tokyo signage which would pull of as a souvenir from Japan which means people can assume that I went to Japan and people would ask, "OMG, Brendan, you went to Japan TOO?" And then people would call me the Guy who went to Japan.) Anyway, all this NOT shopping made me think, gee golly Brendan, why you don't have a lot of cash, Brendan? Where did they all flew to? Which then ended up in this explanation, I WENT TO DEBATE TOURNAMENTS, all my cash is spent there! So it made me to face this horrible decision, more clothes or a chance to debate with other people or other nations and cultures and travel, it is such a horrible trade off, damn it, I love my clothes so much but that means taking a less active role in debating, so in the end, I decided, what I wear and my future education is more important than meeting people from other countries rather than being stuck in a room, NOT DEBATING but adjudicating. So screw you debaters, I wanna go shopping, though I may go for MDO, but then again not. But it is my 21st birthday, why do I have to turn 21 on the year that I have to be frugal!

Resolution 9: Stay away from any one who has a Macbook, iPad or Samsung Galaxy Tab

It only makes me jealous... very very jealous, should stop admiring what other people have. I should I remember that I come from a poor family that became a middle class/almost rich family, we have come a long way, I should be grateful for that and should work, plus and besides, its better to earn it than get it.

Ok, you think 9 resolutions is enough to keep? I mean is it too much? Should I be like cutting off some of the resolutions? I dunno, oh god, what am I to do if I bite off more than I can chew...

Santa Baby

2010-12-16T10:50:00.000+08:00

*Exams season, no time to blog, last paper tomorrow. Current order: fuck up, fuck up, unknown but most likely will be fucking up, depends on how fucked up the assignment is*

Santa Baby,
Slip an iPad under the tree,
For me,
I've been an awful good boy,
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby,
A Macbook Pro too,
13 inches and accesories too,
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight
yeah yeah

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the girls I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you check off my Christmas list

Santa baby,
I want a Blackberry and really that's not many,
I've been an angel all year,
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight,

Santa honey
There's one more thing I really do need,
From the Dean,
To a fully paid scholarship at Yale,
Santa honey,
So hurry down the chimney tonight,

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some decorations bought at 688,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby,
Forgot to mention one little thing,
A nano,
And I do mean from Apple
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

3am

2010-11-29T03:35:00.000+08:00

Its 3 am, I couldn't sleep. I dunno what to blame, my loss or the bad bed that is making my back sore right now. But I think the fact is that I am no longer who I am again. Everytime I did something that I thought was right, never came up as I intended it to be.

But simple fact is this, I am pissed off.

But then again, having uncertainty in the future is what I like the most, it gives me the best opportunity to flip. Either as an ally or as an enemy or nothing but a mere neutral party. I am given the freedom to do whatever I want. I guess that I am free enough to get a part time job, or focus on the drama production more. But whatever it is, my loyalties have been diminished. I felt that I am free to do whatever I want. Like a released pro wrestler, I can go to rival organizations, work independent events, retire, become a personality the list goes on and on.

Oh don't worry, I will still continue. But you will definitely see much much less of me, unless there is a matter of importance arising.

Even though I am pissed that I did not get what I want
I know this

I am free to grow.

A little update on my life

2010-11-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

Well, I know I have not been spending as much time as I should have in this blog but the fact is that I have quite a lot of drama in my life right now and my life is also preoccupied with a bunch of other priorities that blogging just has to take a step back. I dunno if its good or bad because I know that I blog whenever I get creative, inspirational, sad or angry but mostly sad and angry. So here is a bunch of stuff that is going on in my life right now.

Hairspray, the musical.
Yes, you are looking at a cast member and the playwrite of this musical. Its basically a modern, glee-ish version of the play. Very feel good and what not. People loved it, it got rave reviews and those of us who require a sense of intellect and wit in the play will certainly love the obvious and not so obvious puns and references in it. However, things may end prefectly but I can sure tell you that along the way, there is literal hell to pay. I faced with envy, animousity and even neglect (how can u forget the script writer in the flyer?). I hated the power players there at first but I ended up valuing them, liking them and respecting them as individuals as we all pulled through in the end. I have to say, it was fun putting up a production.

Prom
Yes, I attended prom. It sucked big time. I was pretty pissed off with the layout of the prom. I don't feel like a celebrity and I certainly don't feel like one of the VIPs. Plus the buffet line. I know that everyone is hungry but seriously, there is a thing called a line. There is one line in and one line out. Move in an orderly fashion, not attacking the food! Idiots!We are not chimpanzees, we are human beings! Seriously even refugees at some camp are more orderly than you are. I also saw something absolutely atrocious. Someone stuffed white rice, tomato rice and pasta all into one plate like a pile of carbo haven, godness gracious.

Exams
Looming exams mean one thing, less blogging, go figure.

Professional Life
Professionally I guess I would have to say its heading towards the right direction, getting more creative and intellectual side of things down in the resume. Sports which will be a difficult challenge will also come into play sooner or later. My grades are also probably going to slip this semester, things are getting slightly tougher this semester and I am up for the two VP posts at Debaters Club, simply because of my unconfirmed status in the future, I can't be president.

Personal Life
Romance department is a dud. Its failing its dry. Friends though are abundant, I am having a lot more close friends, I have gained new family members. So my social life is not as pathetic as before, but then again, its not my fault that I got sent to a shit hole of a high school but then again, kinda happy as I find myself appreciating my new cast of friends more.

Potential Doom
Lets just say that there is a sequel in the works, difference is the sequel is I like both the tangible and the intangible. And I can only hope that a repeat is not going to happen, its going to be disastrous for me if it happens.

I wonder if he knows

2010-11-12T07:01:00.000+08:00

I wonder if he knows, that no matter what he does, the daisies will keep on popping up

I wonder if he knows, the dog he loves so much has so much love to give... to other people

I wonder if he knows, his dog loves me too

I wonder if he knows, the novelty has passed

I wonder if he knows, not to mess with cats when they are not meant to be touch

I wonder if he knows, this cat is going to give him the love prowl

I wonder if he knows, its time for a little GG

I wonder if he knows, something big is coming up

I want him to know, watch out.

The Digi 24 Hour Movie Marathon

2010-11-07T22:53:00.000+08:00

RM2,500 or an ipod shuffle if you just stay for 24 hours cramped inside dark theater, sitting on the supremely uncomfortable synthetic movie theater seat upholstery and make sure you don't curse loudly, have a conversation or closing your eyes for more than 10 seconds.

Sounds easy huh?

Well, it is. If you just stare at the theater screen for like ever, why not?

But then you gotta pay attention, as questions will be asked on the movies that you have watched

That is when we say, shit happens.

Or if you wanted to put it in the terms of a certain Brit afficienado with a high tendency to curse and where the curse words alternate and have their phases where this certain Brit affiicienado has a high tendency to use them, then you would say: KAH NEE NEH (which literally means "motherfucker" in foochow which this certain Brit afficienado currently constantly uses and has only learned about the actual meaning of the word precisely 48 hours ago and is now trying to use the conventional curse word "bollocks'')

Anyway, I ditched the debaters for this. Yes, I have no principles when it comes to money or desperate because I need the cash, look, whatever makes your dick stand or breast erect is fine with me. I need the cash.

I woke up at 6.am., approximately 6 or 7 hours prior to the start of the marathon. Why? Duties first, public speaking competition. Chaos ensued. Thankfully, we prepped well, so even though the delays were horrible, at least we managed to complete within the time frame. But it was almost 11 which is when registration starts.
I was already rushing with Ashik along and met up with Fitria, Tina, Kim Seng and Albert when I learned that I left my disclaimer form at my table lamp. Fuck, so I had to go for another wild goose chase looking for a photocopy machine where Digi thankfully has one. After registering at the last minute, I am in.

My energy was completely drained after entering the theater. Thankfully, a witty, romantic tale of The Time Traveller's Wife set my brain in motion. This is followed by Ip Man, which was really cool to watch. Then came to Pandorum, which was real horrible. Since it is a sci fi thriller.

Then, at the next alternate even numbers (movies number 4, 6, 8 and 10) are all in mother fucking bloody cantoneese. I hated them all, except maybe number 6, which is called Echoes of the Rainbow, a lovely tale and a very very cute guy, okay, in fact there were a bunch of cute male extras in male school uniforms (perverted bi curious fantasies arising that shall no longer be elaborated) But fact is, I think I am pretty fluent in Cantoneese now. Oh well, you are always learning, it can come from the most unexpected unimaginable way possible.

Then, they were the Thai movies, the first one was cheap, horrible and there is those mic muffler things that are visible on top, how can you portray a bloody emotion if there is a bloody hairy, furry thing on top that looks like the balls of some gigantic gorilla? Next Thai movie incorporates all my personal favourites, a British setting with a little dash of French debonaire, a coming of age plot, indy movie like direction and cinematics, the emo feeling and of course really really hot chicks and dudes except you know, the movie is mainly in Thai. The marathon apparently ends with a personal favorite, The Proposal

If you are reading carefully, you would know what has happened to me already, if not, simply continue on.

So then there was the trivia questions. The first one got half the hall eliminated, the second one got another half eliminated, which left till 15 people after the second question. The third one got another 3 gone and then the 4th question, you can say the semi finals. I got eliminated then. The answer is red and I was wearing red pants, I did not know that answer, was not confident but I should have paid tribute to the red pants. So the significant reminder of my lost of 2,500 or the iPod shuffle is evidenced by what I am wearing on the waist down.

I feel defeated. Sigh. I left after my elimination and called my mom. I knew I would be stuck even longer at Spring since I know my mom will shop and I needed rest fast. So I ditched the Proposal and went shopping and left. Ashik is in the final 8 btw, congrats to him but lets hope he wins the iPod shuffle.

All in all, not bad since I won my mom her birthday present. And I got a nice T-shirt. Another T-shirt to wear to debate... yay me!

Okay guys, I am gonna stop righting here. I have to start preparing for the funeral of my RM2,500 and possibly bracing for the announcement that I need to prepare another one for my iPod shuffle.

Remnants of You

2010-11-04T09:38:00.000+08:00

So I am sitting here on the floor
Looking at all the photos I posted around my wall
When I look all the pictures around
Memories came fading by
About all the good times we had

I tried not to cry
Cause you have already left me
for someone else
But I can't help myself
So I needed to vent...

So I grabbed a pen
Tore myself a piece of foolscap
And started writing about all the good times we had
And then I shredded it to pieces just like our romance had

Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna throw away
All these remnants of you

I went downstairs
I grabbed a box
Started tossing all the things you gave me into it
Cause they are nothing but a bunch crap
And your presence should be ridded

All those beautiful pictures of us
About the great times that we had
At the beach, at the park, at the carnival
Are all going in there

Right now, I am right here at the yard
Staring at all the gifts that you gave me
All the things that remind me how I loved you are right before me
I lit a match and set it on fire

Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna burn away
All these remnants of you.

Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn all my pain away
All the frustration dissipate to ashes

Let it burn
Let it burn
All the memories of you
All the love and time I wasted on you

Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
But I know they will still be there
All these remnants of you.

Emo Monday

2010-11-01T22:12:00.001+08:00

Rain is pouring down on the street
People rushing with their feet
The cool London sky in ash grey
Emo Monday is here again

A couple is squabbling about life
Cassie is stuck at crossroads
While a puppy stands alone
Without someone to hold
Remnants of his master now gone

But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away.

Feel of dread is every where
Mundane routines begin at this day
Moving in the pessimistic way
Emo Monday please go away

A boy sits on the street looking sad
His favorite jacket is out there somewhere
It is all that is left from him
And he can't bear it to leave him like he did
Emo Monday got to him

But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun will shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away

Please tell me (Please tell me)
Why do Mondays have to be so cruel
Work starts and we all felt like a snooze
Why can't we all be cheerful
And treat Mondays like any other happy day

But I don't let it get to me
That's life as they say
Although I pray the dark sky will go away
And I want the sun to shine bright as day
We all know Emo Monday is here to stay

I can't stop cursing.

2010-10-31T10:08:00.000+08:00

My mouth is like a hub for profanties. I call it the 'Profinaty Hotel in the Brendan Goh's Mouth'
I just can't help it
It is like everything bad or annoyed that has happened to me
I would just curse
It is such a bad habit
A bad habit that sometimes I don't feel like myself when I not curse.

By the way, do you know that I curse more than 99% of facebook users?
See how nasty my mouth is?
God.
Oh and it's not a phase, the cursing stands
It is just the curse words that rotate amongst themselves.
Crappers...
How am I going to deal with this.

Immortalized as 3rd

2010-10-19T17:13:00.002+08:00

I am a finalist
I got 3rd
No longer allowed to compete
Immortalized as number 3 forever
Fuck My Life

Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best

2010-10-12T23:44:00.000+08:00

I am happy.
I guess deep inside its been a while that I actually smile for joy.
Into the final four of the debate cup
A chance to win big
A best debater trophy, signifying recognition and status of high value and rank
A proud senior who loves me like her very own little brother
A bunch of friends who you know will be family.
All I need is a lover by my side and it will be all perfect.
Life so far has been great, given the circumstances.

But I am hungry
I still want more
I want the grand prize
I want to win big
It is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It will be tense
It won't be lighthearted
And I will get my emotions in it but I won't let it get the best of me.

I know I sounded like I didn't believe that I was considered to be among the best
Beating someone who you thought would be a shoo in all along
And its true
I lack confidence in myself when I debate
I still look up to those people as my seniors
Nothing can change that
Though I am pleasantly surprised.

But now, I am ready
For the final battle
I don't care if you are Swinburne, UiTM or Unimas
All of you are going down
I want to be the sole survivor, the winning team, the only one left standing.
I am prepared to fight and give it my all.
There is nothing to lose form here on out.
But I can honestly tell you guys
I am nervous
I am tense
I felt like there is a ticking time bomb where I will crack and burst into an ejaculation of stummers and short circuitry.
I know its all on me now
I guess all I want you to say is...
Wish me good luck
I think I will need it.

That damn Gray Cardigan.

2010-10-04T10:05:00.000+08:00

When I saw it, it literally felt like there is a gold light shining on it among the tons of clothes squeezed together on the clothes rack.
Okay, fine, it maybe the glaring orange light and the heat of my shopaholic glazed ecstasy that made me felt like God was shining a light on to that rack.
But hey, a glowing light is a glowing light right?
So anyway, there it was, oh so shiny, oh so gray, oh so damn sexy looking and the material, oh my god, it looks fantastic!
Did I mention it was grey and not my usual obsession with purple?
Oh god, just thinking about it makes me feel so euphoric.
Its like heaven.

I was literally thinking like how a girl would assess and dream about a perfect future husband
Except well, I am a guy and this is one awesomely hot gray cardigan.
Anyway, I plan to buy this awesome looking gray cardigan on a day where I would have debate training
And then I would show it off and go all dramatic and obsessed about it
After that I would rub my forearm while to feel the awesome cardigan fabric while admiring the color, the texture, the sheer knit of the fabric.
I would wear that cardigan with me, so comfortable yet not so thick.
Perfect for debating, I can imagine myself debating while wearing that awesome piece of knitwear.
I love my Camden Town hoodie but no offenese but I so need another colour
Plus and besides, it is always good to have another addition in my closet and I have never owned a cardigan before (sorry but until today, all of them are pretty sucky).

So, all I need is time
Time for me to get paid,
I am still waiting to get paid
I am getting very impatient
Die Die Die
I can only pray that the cardigan would not disappear.
Please
Oh god.
Sigh... You know discounts and people of Kuching, especially if it concerns Esprit.
Yes, the cardigan I saw is in a discount rack.
Hidden gem, even a trained eye like mine do indeed make omissions
I am human after all.
Till i get it, I can only dream of that gray cardigan.
Remuneration, please come in a bountiful manner and quickly please :)

Ignorance is bliss

2010-09-25T22:04:00.001+08:00

I don't know what to do right now.
I am being held against my own will right here.
I am trapped, stuck.
I want to run
I want to move
but I can't
I felt powerless, hopeless, weak...
I felt like there is absolutely nothing that I can do.
I felt like I have nothing
I am nothing.
I felt like my role is just to assist
Nothing but a mere supporting role that I grew out of and now tire of.
I want to leave but I could not.

I felt like my heart is getting eaten alive
I felt envy and discouragement at the same time
Its like I want it but I don't want it at the same time
Something is holding me back
And that gold I found seems to look more and more like pyrite everyday.
Sitting there, watching it getting sampled like some morsel.
I felt gutted.
I guess I felt like I am not strong enough to handle it yet
I get jealous real easily, I get sensitive and touchy real easily
I just wish that I for once can find something that gives me some form of happiness and content.
With daisies and roses, peaches and butterflies and all that.
A form of utopia like bliss that I would love to experience.
Man, I got issues
I need to settle them
Alcohol?
Definitely Maybe
But being an alcoholic is the last thing I want to be right now.
I don't want to self destruct
But self destructing feels more and more like a treatment, a theraphy, an escape each and everyday.
To not care, to not wallow in pity but just explode into nothingness
Into euphoric relief that will set my heart free.

Currently, I am now holing myself in my own world
I work, I focus and I concentrate
Blocking my senses from the world
Oblivious to the competition, rivalries, betrayals around me
Allow myself to manifest the growing creative surge within me.
In a way, I am hallucinating
But not knowing feels a lot better than actually knowing right now.
Time will tell about my estimated time of recovery
But for now, some anasthetic in necessary dosages is required.

I shall vent... for now

2010-09-22T14:13:00.001+08:00

I feel angry, animosity crawling into my veins, causing tension towards my psych.
I guess, deep inside, all I wanted is to be accepted.
Being a accepted for who I am as a person and not because of my lifestyle choices, my personal preferences and labels that subjugate me into nothing but a common stereotype where that stereotype clearly does not define who I am as a person, and clearly does no justice into pitting me into a soulless category as some statistic.
Clearly that does not exist here.

You think getting stuck in Central Africa, living with limited rations and suffer from the scorching heat and civil war is bad, then try getting stuck into a time loop that seems to repeat itself only in a different environment. That is the situation that I am in now. Unfortunately, it just has to be high school.

You know, back in high school, all of us high school rejects with that naivety of hope and slight cynicism would wish that college would be a much different environment. Where everyone lives in peace, have common interest and friendships, sure we do have people we hate and bitch about it but at least we are not that bored that we turn menial things into huge issues. Unfortunately, that case applies to some universities but I would not be surprised of there is none.

Well, that is the experience that I am experiencing right now and I am guessing my so called rival is also experiencing it to. See, I know and I think he knows that we are not rivals. But a certain third party that he hangs out with and a small issue that happened between us in the past, has made him make the issue into an actual serious one. Peer pressure is so sad on teens, it is sadder if you allow it to influence you in your college life, you would thought that being young adults, being considered to have an adequate level of maturity, being able to make right choices and what not would not be so stupid to succumb to that. What is even more worse is that those people who are of a slightly higher seniority is putting the pressure.

I honestly have nothing against him now. I was hurt, I was angry and now, I am just plainly indifferent but the fact that he wants me to remember those feelings long forgotten is just pathetic and annoying. I cannot handle it, not because I am not able to suppress the feelings because the feelings are not there but it is a part of my history that I would love to forget. We can laugh and move on, but repeating it time and time again?. Sometimes, I just wish that I would just stop myself in getting involved in the activities we have where we have to see each other's faces so that at least there is some form of peace. But I am not the kind of person that is willing to submit once conflict happens. After all, it's his problem and not mine. If he wants to make it his problem then so be it. I am done, and was done quite a long time ago.

But now, this has apparently gone to far. Those people have clearly no respect for me at all. It is evident by an event happened a while earlier. And I have to say, I am still furious with them right now! You would at least give a guy some kind of respect or mutual kind of respect rather than making a fool of him in public and then trying to blatantly steal my thunder. I am pretty sure someone is less than impressed with me right now and plainly, I am angry, pissed and literally crushed. A rare gem that flew away and now that I found another and now I am feeling that it is about to float away too! You just do not know how rare that kind of gem is in this kind of sad community. Right now, I feel like they just want to make my life a living hell just for their own amusement from a make believe rivalry that came out from a conflict long resolved, long over, long gone.

I feel like this is the first strike that I very reluctantly struck down but has become evident that that is no longer the case. It felt like try to keep a person with multiple organ failure alive and I don't have the cash to do it. Right now, I am coming to terms and I am waiting for the 2nd and 3rd strike before making mine a bit more preemptive. They want to unleash the bitch, well, the bitch is making a comeback, just wait and see. Brendan has his limits, when bitch comes out, all hell will break loose, I swear it.

Brendan from the Block

2010-09-10T16:13:00.000+08:00

Time passes, as it passes things change whether we like it or not.
Little things that we take for granted, the sights we are so used to see, usually meant nothing but when a seriously life changing event occurs, it hits us hard.
Its like there is an elephant in the room, a tiny little speck of an elephant that we ignored and allowed to grow. Well, it grew and grew until it tramples us which is when we get our epiphanies or sudden realization of great truth.
We felt like we have been thrown into a curveball but its not. We allowed it to happen, we subconciously made it happen because ignorance leads to bliss where we got caught up in because of the comfort it brings where we store it way back into our minds that when that event happens we were in shock but only to remember moments after as the issue scrambles back to the forefront.

I realized that now, everything in Kuching is changing, even the small street where my grandma's house is. The old drain where I used to catch dragonflies is replaced by concrete
The plot of land where there used to be scorpions living there just opposite my grandma's house is now a plot of land for some business people to grow plants.
The once weedy plot is now replaced with plants in pots and gravel rocks.
The house that used to have rambutans dangling from the tree that we used to pluck from is now gone and now houses a bunch of idiotic Africans students who do nothing but drink, smoke and listen to horribly cheesy rock music
Nature as it seems, was just not in sync with modern globalization.
Even the people have changed, my grandma passed on, my dad shows serious signs of aging, my aunt moved back and my great aunt is currently in a phase of old age which I think will be genetic and will affect the women in my family.
I still feel like running up to my grandma's room to see her again.
Sometimes I even thought she was alive until I realized that she was already gone.

However, I am still glad that some things have not changed.
My grandma's room still smelled of old lady (loads of talcum powder)
The small path leads to the back where my great aunts live is still there
The moss and plants at that area never changes.
As I walk down that path, imagining myself as a seven year old, full of energy and running down the path, ignoring the risk that I will fall and scrape my knee and now as a nineteen year old still having that energy but now with wisdom to not run and potentially scrape my knee prefering to amble and take in the scenery instead, I felt at peace at that area.
It was a place of my childhood that stood still in time. Nothing changed.
It might not be the place that houses the fondest of memories as most of them are just about me walking from house to house
But for me, it serves as a portkey.
A portkey to send me back to when I can still hear my grandmother screaming my name to return home.
And currently, apart from my memories is the closest relation towards my childhood.

I can only hope that it never changes.
Like I said, people change. A part of me may still want to be that boy who runs around and screams like a mad man with a case of ADD, the me right now, wants to move on to other endeavours, other adventures and experiences that this town and that portkey can never provide.
Because that boy has dreams, big dreams and now, he wants those dreams to become reality. To make them a reality, he has to leave and gladly he will.
He will never forget that boy but he has to give what that boy wants and with that, he has to leave this godforsaken place.

The sacrifice we have to make for the sake of realizing our dreams is not easy but we must never forget our roots, that we will always be boys and girls with dreams. That I will still and always will be the Brendan from the Block.

To the dude who cut me off this morning

2010-08-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

Hey Mr Bloody Fucking Irresponsible Asian Driver Who Thinks He Lays Every Single Stone on the Fucking Road and Paves Tarmac Over The Surface to Smooth Everything Out by Hand. You cut me off this morning and I have to say that, I, sir, am furious because you cut in front of me in a very dangerous manner while I am driving. You purposely squeezed your shitty second rate looks like it is about to fall off any second Daihatsu (you can get a Kancil dilwad, its the same shit) in front of my Proton Saga while looking at me as if it is no problem and nothing happened at all. After which you took out your circa 1980s really really large looking and shitty cell phone (obviously you are not from the 21st century) and made phone call while I was talking to my friend on my iPhone. Now obviously I have come from a better privileged background than yourself. You know, better parents and the wonders of cable television, internet and the obvious critical analysis and thinking adding in the natural writing flair of mine that is oh so amazingly eloquent and inspiring yet straight to the point at the same time. Of course that naturally bitchy attitude of mine that always mean that I am right and your wrong. Now, I am a very nice and forgiving person since I am a good natured soul who usually keeps his temper in check but at that moment I was angry and I am late and I am certainly not pleased with your driving ethics and actions on the road.

So now, I have already imagined the horrible things that I am going to do to you and I am going to vent them in my blog.

First of all, you are laying on the table, your hands and feet are chained and your body is spread wide. Oh, i almost forgot to mention that you are also in a dark room with a light hanging from above and also the fact that you are completely naked.

Now, I shall enter. Looking at you menacingly and yet seductively at the same time. You can also see an obvious and wide grin on my face while I allow my eyes to trail and observe your body. I circle around to allow my eyes to analyze your body from every angle. Admiring its obviously lacklusture built.

Now when you see me, you will see that I am holding not the usual knife, machete, axe or letter opener but a spoon. I shall use this spoon to gouge your guts out. I shall dig the spoon into your guts and then from there scooping up fat, blood and your intestines. Next, a meat tenderiser is used and it shall be used on your limbs. I would relish the fact that your limbs are neat and tender from the pounding they shall receive. Next I will intorduce to you a small nail clipper and its going to clip the tip of your dickhead. After a nice dab of salt. I shall move on to your face, I would now introduce those little acupuncture pins and I shall pin them wherever I feel like but generally its all over your face. Next I shall make you rain blood by making holes all over your backside and make the blood drip and trail down. Next, I would stuff a rolling pin covered in barbed wire into your ass and make you eat habaneros at the same time.As you scream and relish in pain I would suddenly introduce clorox to clean the blood and you. Just when you are screaming at me to end your life so that you no need to suffer any more, I shall drill holes in to your brain and then after that, I would wire you with explosives and then I would leave while you explode into nothingness.

Got it?

Bratwurst?

2010-08-18T02:49:00.000+08:00

Allow me to introduce to you the Bratwurst

Which is also known as the burly bitchy ugly twin sister fo the hot dog

Famous in Germany (duh) and in Wisconsin where they are called brats or beer brats (if they are poached in beer that is)

They remind me of the look and shape of a human penis

See how there is a slight curve and a more enlarged tip compared to the middle part

As seen below, the shape of the bratwurst honestly resembles a penis

So yeah... it really looks like a penis...

I can tell you something though, it does not taste like a penis

Because its cooked. (Sicko)

The penis looking thing obviously is in a deep need of some serious flavouring, poached with beer and onions and then grilled with a slab of butter on each side.

Then I will call it bratwurst and not meat that looks and shapes like a penis

Cause you know, it looks like a penis.

Of Beer and Debating

2010-08-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

You know, when someone hears of the word "debate", there are two kinds of naysayers

One side would say its a bunch of arrogant nerdy bastards who sit in the room and talk crap for an hour who have nothing better to do.

While the other side would fear it as it involves speaking in public.

Looking back, those were the two reasons why I wanted to join the debaters club in the first place. Not because I wanted to prove them wrong but to prove them that even though it is difficult and viewed as a non challenging sport but simply because I wanted to be an arrogant speaking bastard and I wanted people to fear me. I wanted to be regarded highly. I wanted to be king. I saw the Swinburne Debates Club not as an avenue to learn but as an avenue to exert control and of course to vent my frustrations.

But as I walk along the path of debaters and all about debating... I felt that my intentions that once was all about making a scene and walking tall... disappears. It was hard at first as I took somewhat of a hiatus from it to deal with the initial shock. Debating is about convincing people, it is about using words correctly and strategically place your statements properly so that it is the best avenue for you to convince people that you are right. It defintely at first make you an arrogant and aggressive person but once you past that you are back to your humble self albeit more wiser than you once were.

My last trip to Iskandar Debating Championship really opened my eyes on to what has happened in the debating scene. The reason why debaters come together and compete with each other is to not only test their abilities and strength in the sport but also meet new people and form friendships that will probably last a lifetime. Plus there is good money in it too.

But with the influence of alcohol, the party and the sharing of life stories and what not is what truly matters. It is where people bond and have fun and hang together like a bunch of BFFs even if it is for a few days... Would I do it all agian? Yes, definitely in a heartbeat.

I love this life as I felt that within these trips, I get to know more people, know people more and more about myself. True colours and what not fly high and I am extremely excited that I found out this little secret life. It is truly a gem.

Rafie, Kasun, Paul, Ashk, Raj, Crazy, Sophia, and Sailesh, it is great to know more about you... I hope I get to go more trips in the future wth you guys.

Nicholas, Brigitte, Kohta and Taro... it was great meeting you guys and I hope to meet you guys in the future. Hopefully in your countries and as a competitor rather than an adjudicator.

Life goes on in the life of Brendan Goh but I will definitely never forget the experience and even if I do, I still have facebook and my camera to remind me of the great time I had there. I guess this movie special has ended but the memories I have will rerun in my mind will have to suffice for now until I get to travel that is.
Pictures are up on facebook while the Brendzblog Legionaires will have to wait a while, hope you guys are on my friends list, if not, add me... lol.

My results are like toilet paper

2010-07-26T20:29:00.000+08:00

I am not satisfied
I am angry
I did not get the results that I have aimed for
Oh woe
Oh poor me...
3 Distinctions and a credit.
Although I can sustain Swinburne's exams
I still would prefer to be at overseas...
I can only just hope and wait for the opportunity to strike
Some say, I have to look for the opportunity
But how? I can't find it, I am exhausted and tired.
Oh what am I to do

My RESULTS ARE IN!!!!!!!

2010-07-20T12:34:00.000+08:00

But I don't wanna look at it
I am so scared
GOD, I am so nervous...

Part me says, lets get this over with
The other part asks me to wait for it
I really dunno what to do...
I guess I shall wait for it?
I dunno, I am pretty sure today and tomorrow will have a lot of people queuing up for the results, there is no need to stand there for hours literally for those hopefully 8 letters and at least 6 that must all end with a D...
Tomorrow is the result for the foundation kids.
There is no way in hell that I am checking it online, hahaha.
They kinda jinx everything so, yeah no way in HELL!
So I am guessing I will get my result on Sherrie Pui's birthday?
With Sherrie Pui as my good luck charm?
LOL
Why not?

There is however, one certain thing remains
By the time I know of my grades, everyone else will know of theirs already.
Stay tuned people

To all who miss London

2010-07-10T21:18:00.001+08:00

It has been more than a year since I went to London and honestly I am a bit homesick

Man, how I wish I was in London right now

Enjoying the warm summer breeze, the nice heat and all those awesome British concerts like the Glatsonbury Festival

Which is like Kuching's very own Rainforest World Music Festival

Only much cooler.

Actually much cooler is an understatement

Its MUCH MUCH MUCH cooler, after all, Kylie Minogue debuted her latest single there

So here is a look back from all the awesomely fantastic memories and experiences I had over there

Now forever immortalized in picture

But how I wish to experience it again

First thing I miss, is the first feeling of me landing in London.

The crisp, cold winter air

The air is dry and it feels like God has air conditioned the whole city

Dunno about you, but it really brings a sense of comfort for me when I first landed here

Its like saying, its okay Brendan, you are home.

Next thing I miss, are the landmark areas, like Picadilly Circus (below)

If you are taking this picture of me, behind you will be a shoe store

And you all know Brendan and shoes

Of course who can not forget about Madam Tussauds.

Taking pictures of me and celebrities who I hope to meet one day

Pure awesomeness.

I also miss the West End shows too, all the awesome theather shows.

Watched Avenue Q and Stomp

Next time, I am taking on the classics.

Wicked, Les Miserables and Billy Elliot here I come.

Another thing I miss is the food, especially the hearty scones with clotted cream and jam.

The indulgent and eloquent gourmet chocolates at Harrods

The ever simple yet delicious laymans Bagel sandwiches which I know and love

This is what I usually eat while in London

I loved them so much, I think I already ate all the bagels offered there.

It feels just like what all those sad pathetic losers feel when they eat McDonalds

Onlythere are two differences.

Mine is HEALTHY and taste like REAL food

McDonalds makes you grow fat thighs and taste like something that comes out of a pigeon.

And finally and of course, the SHOPPING.

From the cornucopia shopping paradise that stretches for 2 kilometres at Oxford Street

to the classic yet trendy Carnaby Street

From the high end designer labels at Bond Street

to the more affordable and youthful teen/punk/goth style at Camden Town (where I bought the 'How to use the 'F' word' shirt)

From the colourful and fun styles of Uniqlo

to the more classic and essentially conservative look of Zara

From famous brands like Nike to Britain's proud Umbro

Whatever you want and need is there.

It is a blissful slice of heaven

I want to go back.

Goddamnit, I want to go back.

But for now, let these pictures remind me of the great time I had there.

Non of this would happen if it was not for my aunt.

I thank her for the opportunity to go there

Next time, when I am there, I will have someone take a picture of me and Britney Spears

Instead of me camwhoring with her.

Do you know how difficult it is to adjust yourself around the statue in order to fit into perfect candid camwhore position?

I love Korean BoyBands

2010-07-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

Their lyrics don't make sense

The have subpar dancing skills

Those who like the more intellectual side of things would call them a combination of the Disney Channel and Pussycat Doll's response to the Asian market but in a sort of male version

Most of their videos involve lots of them being shirtless, kissing some girl that you don't really care because most of the time you cannot get a clear picture, horrible wardrobe (sans the suits of course) and acts of violent rage as a consequence of a display of pure male chauvinism and testosterone including a few dashes of those acts where you are supposed to do to infants and not the counterpart that you are about to fornicate in front of the camera.

They are also mass produced and marketed faster than Lady Gaga causing controversy for her videos

They all sound pretty much the same.You have the frontman, the rapper, the soulful one, the cute one that you so wish that if you have a Korean popstar boyfriend, he would be the one and the other dude who makes all those wails at the end while any additional members would served as high profile featured dancers like Jessica Sutta, Kimberly Wyatt and Ashley Roberts of the Pussycat Dolls, well formerly of the Pussycat Dolls.

But damn, I love those Korean boy bands and I dunno why as all reasons stated above, I should damn well hate it. Maybe it is because of the beats of the music? Korean producers are good with music, I liked them. I dunno, it is either the penultimate culmination of me beginning my transformation into some low taste, blind, no motivation, no inspiration, zombie like slave to Asian culture or me just plain evolving myself to be more acceptable of others.

Its like Germany and England and we are England...

2010-06-28T20:27:00.000+08:00

First of all, I would like to announce that HELL MONTH is officially OVER!!!

I can hear birds singing
I can smell fresh air
The water of tranquility flowing by, making the sounds that water makes when you pour something in to another something.
The taste of freedom is superiously awesome

That would have been the case if it were not for one certain subject called FIS...
Its like a dark cloud that has just plunged the sky into darkness
Like USA and Korea, two of my favourite teams were eliminated in just one night
Oh the pain...
Oh the sorrow...
Oh the worries towards the impending doom that will screw me all over!
Damn.

Oh don't get me wrong, Financial Information Systems aka a fancy word for advanced accounting is easy

Easy to fail that is.

All of my friends are now in regret and in mourning

You know all of those questions like
why didn't I study harder
why didn't I do my tutorial questions that has marks as instructed
why I did not highlight my book
Why was I thinking about fucking my girlfriend when I should have been thinking of how not to fuck up this subject.
Why... you get the point.

All in all, as I reflected through back of mind, succeeding in FIS is probably as slim as England beating Germany in the world cup which has not happened since like what? 1966?
The rest of the time, the uninspired way the brits play all come crashing down.
So yeah, the Germans are the team that always beat the Brits
And we are the Brits.
Congratulations.

No use now... All I have to do right now is pray that at least 2 of my subjects get a High Distincition and another 2 getting a Distinction at least...
Oh the stress...
I shall now go back to my game of decimating the stupid Uruguay and Ghana team for eliminating the Koreans and the Americans respectively.
Yes, I am getting revenge... in the video game world...
Okay, I seriously need to get a life here.

Imaginary

2010-06-21T22:44:00.001+08:00

Baby, just lie next to me
Right here on my shoulder
And feel my warm embrace

Baby I will protect you
With all my life
And I will never leave you alone

Because I could not live without you
I would never leave your side
You are the air that I breathe
You are the soul of my heart
And I am glad to have met you
Even if its just...
Imaginary

Take off your clothes
and leave them on the floor
Come and join me in this bed right here

Let me kiss your beautiful lips
Let me carress your body
I wanna feel you within me

Because I could not live without you
I would never leave your side
You are the air that I breathe
You are the soul of my heart
And I am glad to have met you
Even if its just...
Imaginary

Illusions can be a bliss
Just a mind trip to the utopia that I wish
Where I am at your side
And we make love all through the night
The passion that we had
The secrets that we shared
Oh...
Baby, you make me love you more and more...

Oh how I wish...
That it is not...
Imaginary

5 things that will get me motivated in exams.

2010-06-13T18:15:00.000+08:00

Exams are just around the corner for me and this means its hell month for me. I will be studying, not watching episodes of glee and the season finale of Grey's Anatomy over and over again which may I still add is ABSOLUTELY EPIC!!! I will be cramming my face onto the books instead of staring the screen of my computer. Highlighters and pens replacing the keyboard. Books, slides and whatever materials that have some form of intellectual relevance towards the subject that I am taking scattered across my although technically large but still seem small desk. My brain being crammed with accounting formats and equations, law principles and cases, management tactics and whatever i learned at business information systems which I cannot remember since I never bothered to listen in the first place is rushing and filling up the space in my brain while evicting the normal occupants of my brain: music, debating, making fun of the bad fashion faux paux of normal Swinburne breastless chicks, shopping and sex. Yes, I am a sexless, asexual body for the next month, no more fornication for Brendan. Which is the exact opposite for my dogs since its mating season (ever wonder how quick two dogs enter the stage of sexual intercourse?). Finally and of course, me writing on paper with study stuff rather than typing on this blog.

So since I am tired of studying for the moment while the supposedly silent inner voice of Brendan Goh which is silent on the outside of his mind but making a serious ruckus inside, wailing like a 2 year old who just lost his favorite Barney the Dinosaur doll. You know, its screaming : "DON'T FUCK UP BRENDAN!!! STUDY!!! STUDY!!! STUDY!!!!" As if I do not have enough drama in my life right now. I have decided to compile five things that will make me want to work hard in the exams and achieve my target which by the way is just doing my best without any regrets. Yeah, I do not really want full HDs this semester even though I really really want it (secretly) of course, 4.0s are fine for me, as long as I can get my CGPA up.

1. Proving my parents that I can manage my own priorities.

Parents, normal ones at least would be proud that their kid has a social life, has friends that he can entirely depend on and is associated with people who are leaders, who are influential and who are the only people bringing trophies and glory to the school. More importantly, holding a post in a club. But NO!!!! My parents want me to be some anti social nun that has no social life and stay at home all day and bla bla bla bla... Especially since I went to UKM in May which they obviously do not support. So this semester, its not really about how much the money can benefit me in getting all the fancy toys that I can get but a matter of pride and proving myself that I am plainly just better.

2. More money, more tournaments

Other than striving to get a job to support myself in my debating needs (as if my parents would want to fund me to go for more tournaments), I need the money, so that at least I do not need to get a job and concentrate on my studies. Well, might still get a job since the more the merrier right?

3. A Macbook

I think this is a bit self explanatory :)

4. Redemption

A personal grudge that I hold on to myself for fucking up two subjects last semester. Honestly, it is a wee bit unacceptable for me as I honestly felt that my marks that I get should have been a lot better. Oh well, what does not kill you makes you stronger. I am back for revenge!

5. iPhone accesories

I have been staring at a lot of iPhone casings these days. Just so that I can be more different than other people. The simple chic black is not working for my reputation anymore as more and more undeserved losers who are not honored to hold and obtain an iPhone are plaguing my school right now, showing them off like its some kinda 24 carat diamond ring with platinum casing and whatever. The iPhone is for function and fashion people, not flaunting it off like some Maserati and so called texting it in public and whatever. I need those accesories, maybe I might add a Nano into it, oh you know me and my collection of Nanos.

Alright, its off to the books, exams are on after next week so yeah, I know, serious lack of posts, will try and update more if I have the time (and the inspiration) TTYL my Brendzblog Legionaires!

Swinburne's Got Scandal

2010-05-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

The following blog post is about to be presented in a seriously mind BLOWING manner, a serious EJACULATION of the mind containing the concentrated JUICES of creativity. Any thing written here is seriously fictional towards an actual situation that actually happened. If its too vulgar, then JACK OFF now or forever hold it to YOURSELF. As for the rest, I invite all of you to COME. This is a SOLO opinion but I am sure my fans would find this intellectually SATISFYING.

Okay, my dear Brendzblog Legionaires, I have always complained that my life here in Swinburne, aka the Pig Uni is extremely BORING. Seriously, nothing happens here, its very very peaceful... that is until now. With a new president promising change, the school's environment somehow changed as well. It has becomed more of a mixture between Grey's Anatomy and those lovable CW trash Gossip Girl and 90210. In the famous words of WWE Hall of Famer, Announcer and owner of a barbeque shop, Jim Ross: Business is Picking Up!

So here is the super juicy details:

A dude was like looking at like semi naked pictures of chicks (pathetic I know) and he was like masturbating in the OPEN LAB! Like literally flipping his dick out and wanking while viewing the pictures on his computer! And while he was in the course of um... pleasuring himself, his actions were videotaped by some chick and she posted it on facebook and now, its spreading like well a virus. Wow, its a serious wonder on how fast news spreads via a scandal.

I shall now type this like I am writing my law essay or something like that, so yeah, super wordy, so like prepare to print! Its gonna be like a debate to those of you who wanted to follow my tutelage where unfortunately like I am not a senior debater but I am like a somewhere there senior debater but still juniors can get some pointers from me right?

On the um... star?

Well, dude deserves it. Point blank. You masturbate in public while looking at pictures of topless Asian girls, be prepared to take the risk of getting exposed on your public indecency. Be preapred to be famous. I mean come on, this is a university that literally screams boring in a boring town, so things like this happening is as rare as Britney Spears coming to Kuching to prepare a small concert in conjunction with my 21st birthday. Where the whole crowd will sing me happy birthday and I get to perform "Oops I Did It Again" with Britney Spears and the both of us are wearing the ever infamous red jumpsuit. So obviously, when caught, people who have no life will video tape your actions and then post it up on facebook for everyone to see.

Its already a crime, Public Indecency, why not add insult to injury?

Also, what the fuck is it with topless Asian girls? I mean seriously, the quality of pornography is like so softcore and you can jack off to that? Proves that this guy is sad, desperate and he has his um needs that cannot be satisfied with a laptop and a bathroom. Look at it this way, getting busy and steamy with a real actual person, rather than a virtual picture of a topless woman with her mouth semi open.

Also consider the mentality of the general populous of Swinburne. Everyone is like so hooked on Gossip Girl and 90210, so scandals like these need to be made public cause that's what gossip girl does right?

However, I am not entirely mad at him publicly flipping his penis and well, moving it up and down continuously. Its called a freedom of choice. If he feels that its okay and it does not harm anyone physically, then by all means do it. Children maybe mentally scared for life or something but we are all adults, we know that there are needs to be satisfied. So I don't really see much of a problem but maybe the guy making a fool of himself and that's about it. I mean seriously, if you want to jack off in public at least you must have something sizeable to show right? Plus in his defense,dude has a potential form of mental disability.

On the person who taped the act, added techno porno music and uploaded the whole video on facebook for the whole community of Swinburne to see which literally spreaded like a heart attack or something.

I know that it is an act of indecency, i know its rude and i know its sick and disgusting. But seriously, is there a need to blow everything out of proportion? Is there a need to over dramatize everything? Do you even have a life to lead? Do you have a grudge that is so deep towards the guy that it behoved you to do something as ludicrous, cruel and immature as something like this? Or is it that you are so bored with your life, you decided to become gossip girl and post all this shit that blew everything out of proportion. Whatever happened to student council or whatever happened to proper social justice. You cannot just do something like this, taking law into your own hands and posting something as humiliating like this. You are a college student for god's sake. You are taught to think rationally and calmly like an adult and not overreact everything like some 15 year old. This is not high school! Have you even thought through the whole process?

Looking at the video, you recorded the act fine. However, you also revealed his identity to everyone! You basically exposed his indecent act to the whole word, probably every Swinburne student has known of this by now and the news has already spreaded as far as Australia and Vietnam for god sakes. Have you not known how large the impact a scandal like this can cause? Not to mention that horrible techno music, have you no taste, do you have to cheese everything up?

Well let me tell you, since you like blowing everything out of proportion. He would not only lose his dignity but also everyone else around that knows him. You basically have made him a lone soldier, no friends at all. His college life is now probably more unpleasant than ever before. Everytime people see him, people will start whispering to each other, pointing at him and then start giggling like little school girls. People he know would avoid him and would not associate themselves with him because of the bad reputation. Other people will make fun of him, probably even to the extent of bullying him and damaging his property like his car. Some would use him as an excuse, as an escape as bullying him is fun. Calling him a wanker and doing the wanking charade in front of him. He will feel insecure, unsafe and absolutely humiliated. You have turned an institution meant for him to pursue an education into a living hell. Just because of the two minute video clip, 120 seconds. You know what they say, it takes years to build up a good reputation, but seconds to crumble it; it takes seconds to become infamous but years to for it to crumble. Basically, you just ruined his college life and he will forever immortalized as "he who has jacked off in public in Swinburne's open computer lab".

Oh by the way, the paragraph above is what is actually happening, now for my drama plot.

What if the guy commits suicide? You will probably be an accessory to suicide or something like that kid in UK who killed himself because he is constantly bullied on facebook. Or what if its even worse. What if he was mentally depressed or something and then decided to bring a gun to school. He would start small,working from the one of the floors in swinburne and then start shooting people, beginning with the cleaners, th security guard and then he makes his way towards you. People who are in his way will get shot and possibly die. He might even hold people hostage somemore or something like that. What if he ran amok and stabbed everyone, causing Swinburne to be unsafe. You are putting yourself and more importantly others in danger if he is criminally insane. Have you ever thought of such probabilities?

Apparently judging by your actions, you did not.

Honestly, this is college, it is meant for a time to have fun and the word fun is subjective. To you fun is probably bitching and wishing that you get to blow everything out of proportions so that you can emulate the cast of 90210. For me, fun is being me,goofing off with everyone and acting like a major bimbo while giving Blair Waldorf like quotes. For him, its fulfilling his fantasy of jacking off in public while staring at a picture of a topless Asian woman.

Honestly, its just masturbation. Sure it is indecent, obviously not socially appropriate and what more to say embarassing. If you think this is horrible, then wait till you see two people having sex on the side of the road, or porno stores blatantly exposed in the streets of soho, or two gay guys swapping tongues and sucking dick at a public toilet is probably hell for you. Well guess what darling? There are people doing it, not persons PEOPLE. We are talking probably in the millions. What you have experience is just nothing but a culture shock that is not used to your own norms and comfort zone and I personally find that understandable, stemming from your lack of logic, need of drama, possible over obsession with trashy Asian bands and predictable dramas and overall stupidity.

If you feel that this is wrong, why not report it to the authorities, give the man some dignity. He should be embarassed and ashamed of himself but you do not need to put the shame on him into something as public as this!

We all find our own ways of entertainment, some not socially acceptable compared with the others that are. However, it is a no harm principle there, no one was harmed because of this, it is just you causing the harm to him. However, I need to thank you too. You made my life a lot less boring than it should be.

Oh yeah, my people, this is what I think and thoughts like these cannot be on facebook. Its just too long.

Some pictures from my trip to UKM

2010-05-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present to you the highlights

of my trip to UKM, Bangi

for their inter-varsity debating championship.

First of all, no trip is considered to be blessed without a good cup of Starbucks.

Its the new caramel coffee thing.

Yums.

Also, allow me to present to you to some of the members of our contigent.

Kevin is carrying the red backpack, Edina is the girl, Adrien is the dude with the glasses clinging on to his shirt while Ashik is the dude with the glasses. They are all late, unfashionably.

Wee Chung of the F.B.I. having a serious conversation with Ashik and Salim, the black dude.

The motion was This House Would Ban Facebook for Minors. This is how the case was set up.

Minors are defined as the minority of Saudi Arabian women who are not allowed to have facebook accounts.

The policy is that Saudi Arabians will work with China who is the lord of censorships where they will regulate facebook websites and at the same time banning Saudi Arabian women from access

In return, the Saudis will give the Chinese camels.

Why?

Because camels have the ability to withstand hot temperature.

Yeah, got nothing to do.

Debaters are awesome anyways.

Its pure truism.

OMG, the brownies are rich and amazing

Its a sin that these things are in the middle of no where

Yeah, its that good man!

Oh god!

Its like, erotic!

Everything actually started with a wine session of pinotage.

Where Douglas, being the son of a wine shop owner, is very particular about the way the people handle the wine.

Its true, the wine sucked.

My tongue has a very high class taste in wine and coffee

My wine must be refirgerated and handle properly

My coffee must not be instant or the regular joe type, there also has to be milk.

I thought that this the pic is a great way to end this post

Because, in the end,

Whatever, you are doing, it is the people who you are doing it with that counts.

I definitely had my share of fun and hell

But all in all, it was a rewarding experience.

Regarding whether I will be joining the following tournaments.

I will do it Ausiello style.

Taylors Inter-varsity (KL) on 17 and 18 July: A safe bet

Iskandar Debate Championship (Johor Bahru) 6 till 9 August: Could go either way.

The Perils of a Law Student.

2010-05-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

My major in my school is law. Comercial Law to be exact. Basically I study law which enables people to sue each other till they ran out of money where regardless of the outcome where of course I want to win, I get paid. Other than that, according to Yahoo, my course is one of the best returns in income ie... I am most likely to settle my student loans, get a Porsche and my first purple Armani suit faster than anyone else. However, probably among everyone in the whole school or to be a lot more accurate, my batch of fellow business students. I am the only guy who is taking law as a major. This means that either every business student in Swinburne sucks at English or lack the confidence to have proper English or the more accurate and true fact, I am the only idiot dumb enough to take that subject.

Ever since I chose this major, I begin to question myself. Maybe I should take accounting, after all I am the so-called accounting rockstar but I find accounting a bit boring and scary at the same time. Plus, I absolutely hate numbers. I actually liked law, however, the final exam format that costs a whopping 65% of my total grade, made me begin to doubt whether or not I am going to do well for this.

Exam worth: 65 marks.

Examinable chapters: Topics 3 – 9 (excluding Chapter 4 - Terms of a contract)

There will be 3 questions in this exam. You are expected to attempt all the questions. For each question the candidate may choose between two alternatives.

Exam Duration:

Two (2) hours.

Materials Allowed

Pens, pencils and English-foreign language dictionaries. Candidates whose first language is not English may use a translation dictionary, provided it has been inspected before the examination commences. Electronic devices of any kind are neither required nor permitted.

FORMAT of the paper

Question 1: (25 marks)

Problem (Case study) OR Theory (Essay type)

Question 2: (20 marks)

Problem (Case study) OR Theory (Essay type)

Question 3: (20 marks)

Problem (Case study) OR Theory (Essay type)

Good Luck.

Basically for two hours, I will be vomiting words. When I wrote my first problem essay, I was not thinking at all, I was literally vomiting words from my mind, everything relied on pure instinct, I cannot be sure that what I wrote was correct or not, and it was hell yeah scary. Therefore, I kind of assumed that I am the biggest idiot in Swinburne right now because I took law as my major.

By looking at the format, yeah, I am pretty sure I am a big idiot right now

However, I always succeed in doing idiotic things.

What is this blog for?

2010-05-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

Brendzblog Legionaires, you can know my life through facebook and twitter
You can view photos through facebook and twitter
You can also hear me bitch through facebook and twitter
So then, why is this blog for?

Well, this blog is for me.
I can do whatever I want with it
If I wanna ignore, then let it be
If I wanna delete it, then I will delete
If I wanna remodel it into a porn site, so be it.
I don't give a damn.
But right now, the thing about this blog is to talk about things that you cannot describe through 140 words or a few pictures.
It's about the more 'deep' stuff if you might say, though I would not call it deep in the first place.

My 2 wins and 3 losses were commendable I guess and my speaker score which I do not know the average is okay too I guess. However, I found out that I lack something serious when it comes to debating. My matter.

Matter means all the facts and info that will help me in the debate, I need values and support. I find myself being fed with information from my teammates which obviously sucks in the sense that I realized that if I were to lead a team, I would most likely suck at it.

Its tough but I can still grow and develop. I can still be strong.

After all, I am a bitch not a whiney wimp.

Well, pictures are supposedly to be up soon.

I think, yeah, no clue.

Anyways, will try and post them up.

No promises

But its time for pics

Till then tata

2 wins, 3 losses and a whole load of fun!

2010-05-12T09:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah, just a little short update. Went to KL, head to UKM and then I came back with 2 wins and 3 losses. I still need time to like settle first, these days are pretty hectic for me. Ah college life, so so busy.

Play Me

2010-04-24T21:03:00.001+08:00

I opened up to you
I showed you a part of my life
A fraction of who I am
But you played me like a fool

How can I
Trust you (trust you)
When I am nothing but a joke
A foolish jester in the court

If you wanna play me (play me)
Then go ahead and play
I am nothing but an object of pleasure
A mere tool for your amusement
But if you expect me to trust you again,
Please
Keep on dreaming

Its time to repair my heart
Assess the damage that has been done
Because there is a large hole blasted through my heart
And I don't insurance is going to cover it all

Reenforce my walls
Tighten the defense (the defense)
Because I am going to guard my heart
and then completely shutting you out

If you wanna play me (play me)
Then go ahead and play
I am nothing but an object of pleasure
A mere tool for your amusement
But if you expect for me to trust you again,
Please,
Keep on dreaming

Because I really like you
And I really want you
But if you think its great for you to act like a jerk
You have no objections from me
After all its a free country
I rather be nothing but a tool
Than to fall in love with you.

If wanna play me (play me)
Then go ahead and play
I am nothing but an object of pleasure
A mere tool for your amusement
But if you expect me to trust you again
Please,
Keep on dreaming

Out of Control

2010-04-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah...

In the club now y'all...

It's getting crazy...

Fuck it...

I am gonna go outta control!

Baby tonight I am going outta control
Gonna set my soul
And let it go
Baby tonight I am going outta control
Don't wanna feel no more
Gonna let it go

Tonight is the night, I am going outta control
Fucking in the club with all them hoes
I got no direction
It ain't in my discrention
Roofies given to my homies
Tonight I am gonna lose control

Because I don't care
I just wanna dance
Taking my stride and move to the groove

I don't give a damn
on who you are
Just step behind me and grind grind grind!

Baby tonight I am going outta control
Gonna set my soul,
And let it go
Baby I tonight I am going outta control
Don't wanna feel no more
Gonna let it go

Move it, shake it, shake your ass bitch
I got me some money
You gonna show me your pussy
All I need is your body
Come and sell it to me
Cause I know you a hoe and showing off is all you got

Move aside, I care of my pride
I am here to find a cutie that's easy
Cause I am a predator
You are my prey
Nothing but a piece of meat
That I am going to enjoy tonight

Baby, tonight I am going outta control
Gonna set my soul
And let it go
Baby, tonight I am going outta control
Don't wanna feel no more
Gonna let it go

So what are we doing here in this club?
Bitches and bastards hanging everywhere
All these losers are depressed destitutes
But I don't care
I just need your body
Cause all I wanna do
Is fuck the shit out of it!!!

Baby, tonight I am going outta control
Gonna set my soul
And let it go
Tonight baby I am going outta control
Don't wanna feel no more
Gonna let it go

Gonna let it go now
Gonna lose control now
We are all nothing but a bunch of sluts

Its so discouraging

2010-04-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

Losing four times in a row is seriously what we call demoralizing
With a 5th loss obviously underway
Haha
I wonder how am I going to do well in UKM
Having a bad month right now.
However, life goes on
This darkness shall past
In life we must be resilient
Ready to stand strong like the rocks, being the defense while the waves crash on to us.
We have to be like the little blue penguins at Penguin Island
Strive and beating the waves from the sea
It was inspirational
I loved it
Every time I feel down,
I look back into my memory and think of those penguins.
If those penguins can brace the cold sea waters and the cold night atmosphere, heading towards home.
Then I can at least lead my team and beat my other debaters in school.
I need to work on it
Hard
But I need to make sure that my priorities do not stray.
Financial Information Systems and Law come first
That's my resolve.
For now, all I have to do is hang in there
And when the motion is right
I strike them to the core
Build up matter.
I am resilient
I been through bullies
I been through cowards
I been through non-believers
And I am still standing and proved all of them wrong.
I need to just hang in there on this difficult time.

Busy as a bee!

2010-04-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

A lot of you Brendzblog Legionaires have come up to me and said : Brendan, what the F- is it with you and the lack of blog post lately? How come like this one?

Well, if you have not been involved in my life lately, well then, I think its about time you should let me update you guys about it.

1. School

Duh! I know it has never stopped me before, but school has been pretty hectic lately. With the immense homework of Financial Information Systems, the confusion and lack of attention in Business Information Systems, the huge amount of cases in Law (god forbid, come August, I may have four law subjects panned out and ready) and the dramatic Management classes, its really really exhausting. I know studies have been tough before, but this certainly adds some dimension to it, especailly with BIS and Management.

Plus, I have an essay due to tomorrow, an assignment which I admit I have not been contributing as much as I should aka BIS that requires a freaking interview, and an FIS computerized assignment with Quickbooks which I have not installed yet... yeah... falling behind

2. World Schools Debating Championship

I have to find 22 people to be my runners for this huge championship where all schools in Kuching are coming to compete but this year, a new level has achieved with it going national when a school from Kuala Lumpur is coming in. Not only that, extra people is needed for photography, Masters of Ceremony and food and beverage, me, as the head hunter/ admin guy here is literally running and pushing people to join and condsidering how much input my boss has in my headhunting, I have not been exactly doing an amazing job. In addition of begging people to volunteer, the volunteers have to pay 26 bucks for a T-shirt. And there you go, more headache for me... yay. Especially with a certain guy with a creature living in his hoodie... I know I should not have really pushed him till over the limit but I am desperate, okay. Desperation wins...ish. Now, I am an emcee for this event, whopee, more work for me.

3. Team Drama for Debate at UKM

There is some serious drama for my team at the planning stages for the UKM debate championship held on 7-9 may which I am finally going at 5-10 of May (Chester? Jake? Might see you there? Not debate but KL?) Most probably staying at Bintang Walk, hitting the clubs, getting wasted in the streets like Cabo and what not... I wonder where is the Curve? Any clue? Anyway, there is huge confusion and worry when two of my teammates (essentially, everyone but me) want reimbursement and both plan to drop out. Which gives Brendan more hysteria! Yay for hysteria! Finally, one says okay but the other drop out which is not a problem for me because even though we were supposed to send a team of three debaters and one adjudicator over, we are sending a total of four teams and its not like the other 3 teams are not sending adjudicators, which they may waive the need for an adjudicator per team rule and my adjudicator wants to debate so, everyone is happy... except the one who can't go. Finally, 3 friends decided to sponsor her and she is going to debate. My ticket is booked and everything is fine and dandy again.

4. Debate

My debate skills are good, if I have someone to lead me. Being a leader for the first time in a debate team and in a major tournament, that is quite a lot of pressure and being in a junior team, we need a lot of work and with the championship coming next month... I hope we can pull it off.

5. Mid terms

I hate mid terms, but they are good indicator whether you need more work or not. With Law and FIS mid terms coming up, I am worried. I dunno if I am able to do well or not, because I want the money that the school rewards to fund me.

6. Stupid laptop

NEC is closing its computer division and guess who has an NEC for a laptop? Obviously it is also possibly time for getting a new one... I really have no idea but its a good push for me to get full HDs. 3,000 is not small you know?

That is all about my life lately and it is time for me to find souces for my essay! Seeya!

The Fucking Thing About Organization and Management

2010-04-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

I have this subject that I have to take called Organization & Management in school.
Basically, we have to learn about being in an Organization and learn how to follow and perform Managment in a group.
Seems simple right?
Read the book
Crap shit at the exam
Crap even more shit at the assignments
Crap at the homework even
Hahahaha
If you think Management is that easy...
You are so goddamn fucking wrong.

You see, in every subject... there is always a little snag that will derail your overall performance in the subject.
In econs, I always screw up at midterms
In accounting, I always screw up a question, by question, i mean whole goddamn fucking question that's worth a serious fraction of your overall grade
In marketing, it is always about the fucking assignments
In math, it is my supremely faltering mental arithmetic skills, graphs that look like a five year old drew it and my obvious carelessness.
In O&M, however, its the project team showcase
A major presentation that you do as a class ie organization in the end where you present it to the class
Yay... teamwork...

My experiences in teams have not always been ones that are positive, the only positive ones are where me, Siaw Wee and Belinda are in a group together and that our numbers trump others or something like that.
Basically, us three have chemistry when it comes to working together as a group. Basically, me, working in a group of others includes the others fucking up and me having to do the work for them... ish... okay that was one bad experience... maybe I was being overdramatic and jumping to conclusions again like my dad... scratch that.

Now, in management, you have 22 other strangers that you would have to work and tolerate with in helping you (and them but mostly yourself, seriously, who fuck cares about the stranger's grades) to achieve success.
Seems simple... no?

Yeah right, especially when you have frogs living under wells as teammates and a bunch of silent animals you add into the fray too.

We have basically three groups, the international students consisting of people of Muslim, Hindu or African origins, the juniors and the seniors (me). Juniors and internationals are basically together, we seniors and more specifically me are the outcasts of the group.

So we started thinking about ideas for the showcase when the juniors decide to invent a trash chute. An electronic, trash chute that stores trash on every floor... congratulations. They have made a perfectly simple and normal idea into a keeping yout trash on the side of every floor of the apartment and then releasing the whole shit as once, think pooping but with less friction.

Anyway, I thought their idea was an absolutely stupid one. So I expressed my concerns like a bitch that I am.

So I wanted something different and something new, so I thought since those people are stupid enough to think that they invented the trash chute, why not introduce my solar color changing clothes as a new product instead. So, I told them the idea and add a bunch of other brilliantly copied ideas that I found from the net(what, I was lazy okay, so what if I stole the idea from a bunch of high school children.) Thinking that at least choose all of these ideas instead of the stupid trash chute.

Anyway, in the end, they still stuck with the trash chute... congratulations again. Then, there was this one guy who stood up to me and called me selfish because I want to go everything my way, now being naturally defensive, I tried to cut him off everyway I can and explain, but he cut me off and I took it like a black man forcing his 20 inch dick down my throat till I gagged and sputter where instead of stopping, he pulled it out and stuffed it in again. And no, unless you are some gay size queen, it was downright uncomfortable.

I have never experienced anything like that, how could someone have the gall to call me selfish when the only reason that I am doing this is because I don't want to get low marks for this showcase and am pretty concerned that the idea was conceived by some idiot who is obviously not a reasonably average thinking person. He was concerned about the same thing too. He apologized later but the damage is done... so what to do?

I might be a bit wrong on my part thinking the juniors are made of plain idiots and the internationals are also made of plain idiotsand add a sense of unreliability (except one person that is). Though giving the loud ah beng and ah lians who are blabbing Asian shit and watching CSI in front of my usual backseat interrupting me and my friends trying to pay attention, listening to lectures. They happen to be juniors and there are a large group of them, I have the right to be seriously concerned, after all, hello? My grades?

It turns out that I was a bit wrong in the sense that I moved on too fast and also forgot about the more important details about the project which is how we function as a team.

So in the end, I caved in. Not the cave in as in I wait for you to fail and then I become the charming prince saving all of you from getting a can of whoop ass but you guys will be my slaves and under my dictatorship form of caving in but the caving as in I let them take the helm and I follow. She is a good leader, a silent bitch but a good leader and she has everyone, including my, support.

I actually learned something from this. Unexpected but learn. I learned that everything does not need to be on me, it does need for me to be counted on and do everything. What I should do, is lay back and relax. Take a better concern about my own health and sanity. So, I have decided to leave it to them, I will do what I am told and do the best that I can to assist. Taking so many things at the frontlines is not good for me, so I let them take the helm. I am relishing control and will try and stop being a control freak, after all, all work and no play, makes Brendan a bitchy boy.

It changes colour once its exposed to the sun's rays.

2010-03-28T20:57:00.000+08:00

Awesome eh? I will try to get a better version soon.

Man Up

2010-03-25T11:33:00.001+08:00

The fact that I am blogging less and less lately is absolutely not a good sign at all, I have been very very busy these days with headhunting runners and debating and what not. Adding in the my financial information systems homework that never seem to end, having 5 dogs to raise and having TV shows to catch, its a huge wonder where I just cannot find some time for myself.

Well, my hunt of runners is over now and its time for a short breather before I am heading off doing more head hunting, especially the ever elusive female co-host, you have to know that like 98% of the students in Swinburne Sarawak lack English skills, zero charisma and have serious fears in socializing with others outside of their social circle or one or two of the aforementioned three.

Also, I found out that they are also afraid of something so scary, so evil, so monumentally astoundingly shocking and dangerous that literally almost everyone in the lecture hall ran out in pure fear and adrenaline when the lecturer announced it.

What is it that was so terrifyingly scary?

Musical chairs.

I am not kidding, when the lecturer announced that they are playing muscial chairs and by musical chairs, I mean tossing a piece of stupid paper around and just writing stuff on a piece of paper and you ran to the hills like scalded dogs with a case of rabies on crack?

Oh, by the way the fastest ones are guys. Did I mention that most of the guys in Swinburne are pussies? Oh yes, they are big pure pussies or small, infertile, insignificant 2 inch dicks. All of them are the same, they act big, they talk big, they walk big, but when it comes to actually DO something... you can hear crickets or an omnious crowl of a lonely dark crow in the distance.

You see, my runners are basically my warriors, they will all be doing the heavy lifting during the debate competition and as runners as the word says, you will be doing a lot of running. I have 5 guys who volunteered, the rest all chickened out, or become recluse hermits like Guiliano. Speaking of Guiliano, Guiliano lets go shopping! Since you watch movies with old friends, then we go shopping, you cannot do everything with old friends you know, you must move forward! TOWARDS THE FUTURE, WHERE I AM STANDING.

Anyways, back to men being pussies. When I mean men, I do not include the prominent male members of the debate club, my beloved runners and future helpers of the debate club competition. I do however include those of you who have shit coloured hair, like girls who act stupid because you are too stupid yourself that is why you wanna act smart but actually are more stupid than smart because you are acting smart and not actually smart which means you are fake clever and not clever in the first place, therefore your fucked up theories of that was thought up by you are not smart but are actually misjudgments and fallacies of your pathetic brain whose size is as large as your two inch penis. Got it?

Whatever happened to the good old fashioned values of the men of the olden days... if there are good old fashioned valued men of the olden days, you know, a sense of duty and responsibility and not MOOCHING OF YOUR FRIEND WHEN YOU NEED HIM THE MOST AND THEN DUMPING HIM WHEN HE NEEDS YOU THE MOST.

Seriously, the guys of Swinburne (if you can call yourselves guys, I prefer pussyboys, or fuck objects) need to wake up and smell the fag in the air. Don't you know that this uni is a popular haven for homosexual prowlers?

A new semester...

2010-03-15T21:27:00.000+08:00

With my horrifyingly poor and dropping CGPA in my last exam, I am definitely living the Survivor's Heroes vs Villains motto

Return, Revenge and Redemption

Yeah, I want good grades and I want them bad but its pretty hard to concentrate in class these days. Especially in the afternoons or if I have a three hour class. I found myself that, by the third hour, I am pretty much dozing off. I dunno why but I don't like spending my time in Swinburne, it just drains and saps all the energy out of me...

However, I have to say, Swinburne is getting more civilized... in management. The days of literally rumbling down the stairs like... you guessed it... a survivor challenge are long gone. Now it is all online based. All you need to do is simple, get your friends together and fill all the 25 slots available in the tutorial and you are pretty much done. Rather than the 2 scenarios below.

Scenario A
Basically, what they do is that they announce the Tutorial number and if they are kind, the day and time. After that, it is basically a mad rush down the stairs, hoping you get one of the available tutorial slots that you like

Scenario B
Some gay ass bitch think he is Tyra and starts selecting people at random to go for the tutorial... so not working and unfair.

As for my classes this year which are Business Information Systems, Financial Information Systems, Organization and Management and Introduction to Business Law... well they are okay I guess.

Management is pretty much like group therapy and learning how to team together. Overall, its pretty liberating to be left alone but at the same time, we may stray a lot.

As for Law, well, it is my major, haha but I only attended one class and tutorials are this Thursday

Financial information systems is known to have the highest failing rate in the School of Commerce. A lot of work to do and a lot of reading too. The damn book wieghs a ton, heavy as hell... honestly.

As for Business Information Systems, I think I am in the deep shit category because I don't know what am I supposed to do with it!!! I know the computer part but the theories are pretty confusing, a little deer in headlights moment for me.

Plus with me as Secretary of the Debate Club (goodness gracious with the paperwork) and being a part of the Student Council and with me still in consideration to pick up a third club. (drama, some kind of sport, CPA), I am in one hell of a year this year. Hence the lesser and lesser blog post. Come on, I am already until my 416th post, gimme a break.

The List

2010-03-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

1. Edina Chong (12.20am) (Swinburne)
2. Daniel Ling (12.36 am) (Swinburne)
3. Cyril Lee (12.37 am) (Sungai Maong)
4. Wong JJ (12.52 am) (NS)
5. Mun Yin (12.59 am) (Sungai Maong)
6. Athena Chai (1.55 am) (Sungai Maong)
7. Elton Jong (8.03 am) (Sungai Maong)
8. Melissa Hui (8.17 am) (Sungai Maong)
9. Adeline Chai (9.12 am) (Chung Hua)
10. Guiliano Chang (9.16 am) (Swinburne)
11. Siaw Wee (9.18 am) (Swinburne)
12. Jia Jin (9.22 am) (Swinburne)
13. Jeremy Lim (10.10 am) (Sungai Maong)
14. Stephanie Seem (10.40 am) (Swinburne)
15. Luna Chin (11.08 am) (Swinburne)
16. Vun Tze Hui (11.55 am) (Chung Hua)
17. Kelvin Chong (12.06 pm) (Swinburne)
18. Vincent Chung (12.23 pm) (Sungai Maong)
19. Adrien Ting (12.33 pm) (Swinburne)
20. Olivia Sim (12.35 pm) (Swinburne)

Try and make the list next year, and congrats to those who made it, especially Edina! HAHAHAHA. Aight that all

One Down, Fifty Three To Go.

2010-02-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

The 26th February of 2010 was just beginning in the wee hours of the morning. Most of us are sound asleep in our respective beds, our minds leaving our bodies and are transported into an alternate reality where we live and experience what it plays for us that night. As for others, like the stubborn youth of Kuching who embrace the nightlife even though this is a quiet suburban town, it was a time to either keep the night alive or call it a night. For Jason Kiu, who decided to call it a night and return home, probably like any normal weekend nightout where he would drive home, left his keys on the table, change and go to bed . The problem is, that night was not normal as he never made it home. Instead, his car rammed through a fence, hit a tree and then it tumbled upside down, with Jason in it. This is when, Jason's story has reached it's finale.

I, however was oblivious towards everything. First of all, I wasn't close to Jason. We were primary schoolmates and we attend the same economics and quantitative analysis class together in Swinburne. Even then, I wouldn't try and talk to him. Basically because I cannot find any common ground with him. So it was like that, the only time we talk was when he told me, Bianca doing my homework for me was a brilliant idea.
It was brilliant... till my mid terms flopped, that is.

When Jenny Chew (if you refer to my previous post from way back at 2006, you would know who she is, one half of the now defunct Jeneric) posted the news on her status update, I was sceptical at first, with things like this, you need to be awfully sure about it but then again a normal logical person would not post and R.I.P wish on her status update, just for kicks right? It was midday by then.

Just to be sure, I checked with Guiliano, Kiat Seng and Evon, who confirmed to me that Jason Kiu was the first person of the 2002 class of Six White of SJK Chung Hua No.4... to pass away. Still in denial, as my own grandmother passed away 17 days ago and the fact that I am turning 20 19.5 in a week, I called my cousin, Derrick for another confirmation who was also sceptical too. However in an hour, he replied and told me that it was true. Obviously, the news sent me into a confused and frantic state, fortunately, there was no vomitting like the night my dad told me, my grandmother passed away and I was one of the last people to see her conscious.

Obviously with a guy who was stuck with me in the same class for six years, he played a significant part in my early life and the fact that I know that there will be people in our class that will not be able to, do not bother to or too emotional to attend the funeral, I have decided to propose the idea to my friends to send flowers to his family. Evon was on board with the idea and together we quickly worked out the stuff like gathering people to pitch in for the wreath as it's pretty darn expensive to personally send one and the time and location of the funeral. Sending flowers is the least someone can do to show that he or she cares, it's not about face, it's to show that you care, in the end the flowers won't last long anyway and are meant to last a day, if not a few hours.

Basically, everything was pretty much said and done with only the flowers and writing to go till I hit towards a bit of a snag, my parents said that since my grandmother isn't dead long enough, I, should have no hand in this issue whatsoever. As you can see, they are pretty much too late for that but in the end, family is more important, so I sent some advice to Evon and she basically backed me up and covered for me with everything from there. Thanks, by the way. In the end, his lineage of classmates from primary school till college were represented by the flowers.

I started everything is not because you know, I am fake since I started this whole thing but I barely even know the guy. It's because, well having a dead grandmother makes you feel super emotional. When my grandmother died, I was hoping to receive messages of condolences, words of encouragement, flowers and visits from friends, not to show off to my family, but to have that comfort zone of knowing that you have friends who have your back. Guess what? No condolonces, no word of encouragement and yeah pretty much nothing, I have to tell them that they died and all I got were a few short ones. When things like these happen, you don't think straight, so you felt alone and thinking that your friends are well, a bunch of aimless, zero initiative, boring, passive little shitheads, this especially happens when you happen to be an imaginative drama queen. So I didn't want this to happen to Jason, with his family thinking that aside from a few close friends and family, his classmates doesn't give a damn, that's why I came up with the flower idea.

Later that night, my old NS mate, Ben found out the news made online. So I read it and yeah, it hit past a fence, hit a tree and tumbled upside down, very Desperate Housewives worthy, that is until you found out that it is actually reality. The next day, went to my grandma's place (well, it's now my uncle's place, formerly my grandma's) and read the Chinese newspapers as they are like the tabloid version of local news. It's just like it was written right out of a scene in Desperate Housewives.

Statistically, it's common for men aged between 16-25 to die. This is because our testosterone levels are high and we are usually thrill seekers, looking out for fun and living the life of cigarettes, alcohols, drugs, speed and sex. Normally, it is expected for someone like Jason Kiu to die in a vehicular accident because it is so common in Asian countries where our traffic laws are a lot more loose compared to our more developed counterparts, but when I found out that Jason Kiu actually died in a car accident, I was as shocked as everyone else. It's because it's normal for someone like him to die but you would not expect it to actually be him.

Parents will definitely use his death as an example to all boys, they will put assumptions like he was probably drunk, speeding, high, not wearing a seat belt at the time, etc etc etc. We do not know what actually happened that night, but we all know that we have lost a friend, a classmate, a comrad, a teammate and to those closest to him, a son and a brother and generally, just a guy whose life was tragically cut short. For those of you who were in his final chapter and especially those in the final pages, I hope that you do not let him die in vain, let his death be an example to you people and be a lot more careful next time. After all, your life is the most precious thing in this world to you. There is no wrong in having a little fun once in a while but please do not allow your misjudgments and fallacies be the cause of your death. Remember the Chinese saying: The Road is like the Tiger's Mouth.

If you die, you are not the one having problems, since you are dead, but you will be everyone else's. People will have to prepare for your funeral, find a site as your burial ground, hold a service, entertain guests, send flowers and transport for you and if you are a praticing Buddhist, its even worse. There's chanting that will mysteriously make you weep like crying little girls, you are basically stuck at the deceased house for the next few days, you also have to keep a wheel flame of paper burning continuously and you have to assure that you have a continuous chain of joss sticks burning. What if it rains on the day of your burial, somemore? What if you are Hakka and forced to be vegan for a week? Then, there is the grieving period and the five stages of grief. Then of course what if it's your friend's birthday next week or even tomorrow or your mom's, your girlfriend, your... you get the point. See? Death is so inconvenient, so at least what you should do is to keep yourself safe.

Once you are dead, you are dead, game over. There is no reset, there is no restart, there is no infinite lives like the Metal Slug games. Once you are dead, there is nothing else to say but... may he rest in peace.

Creative Slump

2010-02-24T12:59:00.000+08:00

These days, I am on a creative slump
I have no ideas
My creativity of writing is on an all time low
I honestly have no idea what to write right now
After clicking the 'create a new post' icon, I am just staring at the screen after that
I did type and all
but it was either time constraints or uncertainty that made me back out
I have honestly not been fulfilling my blogging duties as of late and I am seriously sorry to all my brendzfans for this.
I am basically in limbo.

I can blame the death of my grandmother
I can blame the fact that I am not studying in a university overseas
I can blame the fact that I live in a home that serves no purpose of creative inspiration what so ever
I can blame a school with loads of brainless, aimless, retarded, badly dressed students with brains the size of peanuts, egos the size of a black dildo, the open-minded-ness of a fresh living clam, as easily angered as wearing red and walking in front of a bull, as cheap as misers can be and fashion sense that screams and begs to be verbally thrashed by Joan Rivers, Micheal Kors and Khloe Kardashian.
But honestly, that is the reason that I am not blogging these days, lack of inspiration.

You can obviously still see my witty charm and sharp tongue on this.
But I have no drive
It's as if, the sadness and disappointments that I have faced in life have literally sapped every drop of inspiration in my vast and oceanic mind.
Apparently, it is evident that Chester and Jake are probably facing the same problems as I do, since they don't blog as much as they used to.

I am in limbo
and I hope to get out of this
as fast as possible
Till then, Brendzfans
Hold on and don't give up on me.
I love you guys.

Be Sexy,
Brendan Goh

Welcome to Brendzview

2010-02-18T13:35:00.001+08:00

MY SPINOFF BLOG,

BRENDZVIEW IS UP!

TO VIEW, SIMPLY CLICK

THE LINK BELOW!

http://www.brendzview.blogspot.com/

IT'S ABOUT ALL MY

REVIEWS ON MOVIES,

MUSIC AND STUFF

IN GENERAL, IT IS A MUCH

MORE LIGHT HEARTED

VERSION OF MY BLOG

HAVE FUN READING,

BRENDZFANS

BRENDAN

Brendzblog On Indefinite Hiatus

2010-02-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

My Grandma has passed away
Alexander McQueen killed himself
Life is a bitch
I am not celebrating Chinese New Year this year
I cannot view my favorite TV shows online anymore
So I need to settle all this shit first before I blog more,
won't be long...
I hope...

What the fuck is it about getting coupled up again?

2010-02-05T12:12:00.000+08:00

Out with friends, few sips of lager (them not me, I do not want to look like a bloated clownfish the next morning), we started talking about relationships. You know, guys, girls and the occasional gay in the mix.
Suddenly, one of them said, Brendan, why don't you get a girlfriend? We all have one and why don't you get one yourself?

Me, being a single person almost all 19 years of my life, do sometimes feel lonely at times and do indeed need to have some companionship. Sometimes I want to experience the love that most of my friends. classmates, and whatever sluts around the university or my old high school are having. You know, holding hands, sneaking kisses, giving each other incessantly annoying pet names that suddenly become extremely adorable when you are in love because your hormones are taking over your body. Suddenly, you feel that the world seems like a much better place, you suddenly see daisies and fields of flowers and the person you love in pure white prancing among the fields of eternal greenery. Instead of the actual fact that there is heavy pollution in this world, the field you are dancing was probably caused by a concoction of pheromones and sex hormones plus maybe a bit of ecstacy and bloody people think throwing molotov cocktails into a church is considered something cool. Plus, lets not forget Haiti.

So instead of giving the lame excuses like my mom would kill me, I wanna concentrate on my studies, my great aunts will give me creepy, expectant, baby-making looks towards me, my great aunts will embarass me and started gushing all over and... so on so forth with most of the blame on my family members. I decided to tell the truth... I am happy as I am.

It's true and the small fact that I am obviously not ready to take shit from someone again.

Relationships are not some fantasy walk in the park, where you date, you fuck and you go and live a fairytale happily ever after. Relationships are not some stupid Disney movie aimed at little girls. Relationships or relationshits are well, full of shit. You have to date and see the compatibility, you have to show you care, guys, you have to treat the girls and pay, you have to pick her up, you have to do this and do that to make her happy and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla which ends with, you have to put up with her shit, especially when it is 'that' time of the month.

If you are talking me, getting a boyfriend, well, guys are sexual beings, this means that most gay relationships are either based on money or sex. It is very rare for you to find the bond that gay celebs share like Elton and David, Ellen and Portia or Mark from Westlife and whoever he is dating or the late Stephen Gately and his partner, because face it, most gay people are a bunch of horndogs, its very hard to find love. Plus a guy my age is in no where near towards the fact of settling down and live the life of a Desperate Housewife or in this case, Househusband.

So here I am, 19, still single and going strong. I am not looking but when fate decides to hook me up, then so be it. Go with the flow, that's what I say.

I am worse than a girl when it comes to shopping.

2010-02-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

It's true, it's very very true
After 2 days of going shopping, I have not even bought one single thing
Not even one
I have my shirts done, all I need is some pants and shoes for the coming Lunar Valentines
However, my collection of shirts for the New Year is a different story
You see
I have a black Topman long sleeved tee and a black and grey H&M shirt from London that was brutally kidnapped from me and chained to my mother's closet for 11 months.
YEAH, 11 MONTHS
If it is this time last year, I would be preparing my trip to London.
Then a pink top from Topman, bought at KL
A purple shirt from Topman, bought at Singapore
and a special tee from the Gold Coast that is about to make an upcoming post on Brendzblog

My pants, well... zilch, nada, zero nothing
Shoes, none either.

I am thinking of something Esprit that cost 300 bucks.
But 300 bucks for a pair of jeans, in my parent's terms is like buying those over priced peanuts you get in your hotel room.
Or in the Swinburne student's parking issue, it's like charging 10 Australian Dollars for an hour's worth of parking space.
So it is really obvious that I better not buy it
My parents will probably send me to the slaughter house.

So instead in order for making my dad happy, I decided to go to places where poor people go to buy their clothes.
I am talking jeans under 80 bucks.
I did found some nice ones, they really did fit me nicely, IN FRONT
At the back, my booty is as protuding and enlarged like J'Lo's ass.
Why do I have such a large ass?

You know this issue would be literally solved if I just went to Spring and splurge all over Esprit, Quicksilver and those jeans at Parkson that costs 150 bucks.
But NO!
I have to be a nice little family boy, helping parents save money
Find CHEAP PANTS.
Come to think of it, I would probably save my parents loads of petrol with all that driving.

I have to find THE pants, nice pants, pants that fit me nicely.
Which as usual is as confusingly scary as my wallet hunt back at the Gold Coast
I went back to the same stores numerous times before making an effing decision.
Oh well, what to do
I want to be perfect.
Well as prefect as a dud as I am can be
Man, I really need to start working out
But it's so hard to not have people around
It sucks, no support, no guidance
Just you and your weak, futile, pathetic discipline.
What am I supposed to do?
When I get upset, I eat and after that I get lazy.
Fuck my life, screw my life, I am screwed.

You know this wouldn't happen if I don't have a budget
I could just spree all I want
Buy this and buy that without a care in the world
Having loads of fun.
I know I am a shopaholic, I admit it
and I embrace it.
What?
Shopping is fun and rewarding and you would definitely get something back and feel the satisfaction.
Plus and besides,
It's better than those stupid people buying 4D everyday.
Those people should have spent their money on helping the people of Haiti then just buying stupid numbers and hope for a windfall that 99% of the time, will never happen.

Spinoff? Definitely Maybe :)

2010-01-28T11:21:00.000+08:00

If you have been following my blog, you would have realized that I have not posted any form of a movie review in a LONG time. Well, this is mainly because, when it comes to movies, I am really outdated.

Now, I love writing movie reviews but the fact is that they are usually outdated and I find that not many people really give a damn about them since well they are old. I also find that my Spotlight segment is also comment draught. However, music is something that I do update frequently but my spotlight segment is also not catching a lot of comments

All in all, I am thinking of doing what Chester did. Create a spinoff blog. A blog that is mainly about the things that I love, music, movies and clothes and maybe food but I don't spend a lot on food. Tech stuff, but maybe I will leave the food on the facebook page, lol. I really don't like posting food over here, I might suddenly go into a craving and binge away.

So now, it's time to make me think what Brendzblog is all about. And after a long thought, hence the low post count, I decided that Brendzblog is going to be just me, my feelings and yes, creating drama in my life. Well, maybe cut the drama, I don't need another Hilary vs Lindsay or Christina vs Britney war erupting over here again.

But the question is... would my spinoff be successful?

Spotlight On: Katherine McPhee

2010-01-27T13:49:00.001+08:00

There is this chick
She lost to a hick
Back in 06
Life's a bitch

After Idol, she got a contract
After one album, RCA retract
Now she is back to attract
Unbroken, her album to track

Now she sings "Had It All"
Let's hope she will stand tall
Spotlight shined by Brendan Goh
McPhee, take it all

Katharine McPhee :: HAD IT ALL (official music video)

Katharine McPhee | MySpace Music Videos

Neglect

2010-01-25T07:21:00.000+08:00

I am neglecting this blog
This is bad
Very very bad,
for the past few weeks, I have only put up four posts in this damn blog
My lowest in a month is zero but it's NS and not my fault
Next to it is 5, but that was February and it's Chinese New Year break back then and I have like a week to put them up
Now, it is 5 posts this month (including this one) and it is done voluntarily.
Well, I really am busy with the past week in Kuching League and now I have a report to finish
Amazing, isn't it?
Well, at least we finished on time and everything went smoothly like I planned.
Well, almost, some bastard showed up late but we finished on time, thank god
Or else, I am pretty sure I am gonna be stuck there till six
Debate events are always so dragging and finish later than usual.

My results are as good as crap because I get no money.
I should have gotten a freaking job.
BUT NO!
I just HAVE to slack off and wait for my money to come.
Yeah, happy now Brendan Goh?
You got no money and your CGPA is literally collapsing like the World Trade Center in 2001
Yeah well, I can kiss my 300 bucks goodbye because there is no way that I am going to buy my Esprit jeans for Chinese New Year now even though I have the money to do so
But what to do?
Aunt told me I should save.
Apparently, my animal sign aka the horse, is not good at saving AT ALL.
Which translates to my spending habbit

I guess it's not too late to find one, I can find one of those seasonal promotion job things.
Dunno if there are still any around or not
And earn some small wad of cash, that I am most likely will be spending
Sigh, after that I am thinking of getting a part time job during weekends
But I am thinking of getting involved in the council
Well, truth is, the only reason I am thinking of joining is me not bearing to see cheap bastards with extremely poor taste levels organizing another cheap lousy prom (PROM IN COLLEGE), with a stupid failing theme that never makes sense because they want to COPY what other TV shows with a HIGHER BUDGET can do.

Tyra always says, you can copy but your copy must be better than the original

Plus, BRIDAL WEAR?????? BRIDAL GOWN AS A PROM DRESS???? ESPECIALLY FROM SOME CHEAP ASIAN BOUTIQUE?
OMG!
Seriously, honey, your nylon ruffly gown is just amazing and that shine just brightens up the room like a neon Las Vegas sign.

Plus with the world's crappiest 16th birthday title resting on my shoulder, God forbid, that there should be an award for this, I need redemption. Sigh, but I am even too lazy to pick up a pen and write out my resume. I am literally at crossroads again. Not to mention, considering to switch my major, again.

Swinburne staff are so going to be happy to see my face again.

So what am I going to do? Join the council, prove myself that I am more than just talk and remain poor for the rest of the year? Or, suck it up and be all talk but at least I am earning about 300 a month.

I hate Kuching, people here like everything cheap. Bunch of cheap bastards. The reason why you get paid less is that you don't pay more you know?

Lazy to blog...

2010-01-19T20:47:00.000+08:00

So sue me.

Here is a little something something from a place called Brisbane

One Hit Wonders of the Future?

2010-01-12T21:18:00.002+08:00

Billboard.com released a list of top 40 one hit wonders of the noughties (2000-2009), some of those notable names include:

Daniel Powter - The guy who sings "Bad Day"? Remember him? Yeah, American Idol hyped it all up as one of their goodbye songs and it helped Daniel hit number one, after that, the poor Canadian was never heard from again. His next single, "Free Loop" did not so well, but you can listen to his latest one, way back in 2008, it's called 'Next Plane Home' which yeah, sucked on the charts, seems like Daniel's bad day has turned into a bad one hit wonder career.
S Club 7 - "Never Had A dream Come True" is by far the most popular song by my favorite childhood band. Bradley McIntosh, Tina Barrett, Paul Cattermole, Jon Lee, Hannah Spearitt, Jo O Meara and Rachel Stevens hit number 10 in the US but was never heard from again. Notable Songs such as "Reach", "Bring it All Back", "You" and "Don't Stop Movin" all are successful everywhere EXCEPT the US.
Mims - The annoying guy who keeps telling everyone that he is hot is hot no more, his second single only reached number 77, poor guy
James Blunt - James Blunt (with Oprah at his backside) hit number one when he sings "You're Beautiful" but unfortunately, his career is not so beautiful anymore
Gnarls Barkley - They sang "Crazy", the song drove me crazy and everytime I heard that nasty falsetto, it made me pukey, thank god it's bb for them.
Bo Bice - The idol runner up behind Carrie Underwood, hit number 5 with "Inside Your Heaven" and after that, he disappeared.
J-Kwon - J-Kwon asked everyone to get tipsy and we did and he hit number two, after that we got a serious hangover and forgot all about him and his career probably died of extensive alcohol abuse by now.
Cassie - Cassie hit the chart's with "Me & U" but her song "Long Way To Go" only peaked at 97 and has since disappeared, it's probably gonna be a long way to go for her to get back on track again.
Lou Bega - Remember that song "Mambo No.5", it was so cool and so fun and since then Lou Bega is nothing anymore.
Hinder - "Lips of an Angel" kissed us and we were stoked by it, but after that, Hinder is hindered towards the sidelines.
Fort Minor and Holly Brook - "Where'd You Go" was Holly Brook and Fort Minor's success and then Fort Minor went to the lower end of the charts and since then, Mike Shinoda went back to Linkin Park
Vanessa Carlton - "A Thousand Miles" was a great song and Vanessa went and disappeared, but "Nolita Fairytale" a single from her obviously failed album Heroes and Theives still proves that she still has it, it's just that the charts don't like her that's all
Nick Lachey - "What's Left of me" is the song that he sang to Jessica after the newlyweds called it quits. It touched us all and we feel for him that his song reached number 6 on the charts, after that, he was not really successful, maybe he should marry a girl, spend three years on a reality show, adding a funny, confusing scene about chicken and tuna and then divorce the girl again so that he can spawn another hit.

Other notable one hit wonders : Aly and Aj, Hoobastank, T.A.T.U, M2M, Stacie Orrico, Yellowcard, Click Five

*Note: This is the list of one hit wonders in the US only, this means that the songs by the artist only appear in the top 40 of the Billboard Hot 100 once.

So it got me thinking, there will be other one hit wonders in the spawn already, but who will they be? Well, some might not come true but who cares? It's always great to do a little prediction.

Sara Barielles
She gave us a love song and "Love Song" charted in the top 10 of the billboard hot 100, but her next single "Bottle It Up" was way less successful, could this mean that Sara's career is bottled up and the given the title of a one hit wonder?

Metro Station
Metro Station annyoed me with "Shake It" and hell yeah they annoyed me, seriously who can listen to the words "Shake, shake, shake it" 267 times? Apparently, everyone. "Seventeen Forever" their second single, did not so well and will Trace Cyrus and gang leave the super stardom stuff to Miley? Let's pray, people, pray.

Ke$ha
"Tik Tok" hit number one and we love the degenrative Hannah Montana look. We loved the song so much but would her second single, a more emotional song called "Animal" will fare better?

David Archuleta
We love him, we really really love him and on American Idol, when Ryan Seacrest says David... Cook won, little girls, mothers, cougars, grandmothers, gay men and perverted aged gay pedophiles weep in sadness when sweet David got second and with joy when his first single "Crush" hit second place! But as we see the failures of "Touch My Hand" and "A Little Too Not Over You", would we see the end of our beloved Archie?

Owl City
Owl City charmed the world with "Fireflies", the hit song was made by a guy living in his parent's basement while working in a Coca Cola warehouse, so we wonder is this the end of Owl City or would "Vanilla Twilight" be able to save it from being called a one hit wonder.

Jason Derulo
He charmed the ladies with "Whatcha Say" and the girls fell in love with him, that they hailed him as number one of the billboard hot 100, but is "Whatcha Say" is nothing but all talk? Well, lets see then.

I personally hope that everyone except Metro Station would not be one hit wonders, so pray people! Pray!

Update: A song from Kesha's album Animal hits the charts at no.7 even though it is not released as a single, therefore she is no longer considered a one hit wonder. The song is called 'Blah, Blah, Blah' and it features 3OH3! Sorry for not updating guys, been real busy these days and lack the inspiration to blog.

The Singapore Story

2010-01-05T23:19:00.002+08:00

After like an hour and a half, stuck within a cramped and nasty, not to mention boring plane with colour blinding seats that sets off a serious headache and nausea ( I hope you like the stuff I left in the bag you dimwitted and rude MAS flight attendants). Me, Darren, my aunt and two unwanted and extremely lucky stowaways (my mother and Ryan) have finally landed in the land of ultra competitive-ness with an added mask of superficiality that I call the tropical and modern version of London = Singapore. The stowaways were called stowaways because not only they were able to go to KL and leave me and Darren home alone as a sort of preemptive strike of jealously towards my pending Australia trip but as we can guess, they tagged along at the last minute. A sarcastic bastard that insults your body size every five seconds and a directionless illeterate with a pig headed moronic brain who thinks it always goes the right way and most of the time it's not and leads us around in circles. When it's not leading, it's annoying as hell as those little hyperactive kids in the back seat of the car yapping 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' God! Those stress pimples and back knots are acting up again! Sometimes I sincerely think that I am the only rational one in the family. And no I am not jealous of my mom and Ryan getting to go to KL, I am downright pissed of that I am not able to get peace and quiet for 2 weeks!

2 HEAVENLY WEEKS WITHOUT FAMILY!!! GONE!!!!
2 WEEKS OF PEACE AND QUIET!!! GONE!!!!
2 WEEKS OF FUN!!! GONE!!!
MY SANITY!!!! yup, you guessed it. G.O.N.E.

I am seriously thinking of getting a job and then hopefully Swinburne will get me the cash I need through scholarship and then I would fly off to a foreign (nearby) country and spend two weeks there. ALONE or with friends, preferably with friends, as long as there is no family around. Lets see... Thailand, Vietnam or Singapore again? Speaking of Singapore, I have to tell you guys about my trip there.

The Singapore Flyer... World's Tallest Ferris Wheel (currently)

We are staying in the Marriot Hotel as you can see... on the 28th floor. We spent the afternoon, hanging around Bugis Junction. Shopping, obviously. I got a watch and a purple plaid shirt from Topman! Loves! Yeah, girly moment... Uhm... Uh... Yeah... Well lets get on with the night shall we?

The streets were paraded with like loads of decorations and stuff like a huge Christmas celebration. There were really cool cutouts of Jesus, Joseph, Mary and whatevers around.

There were also street performances, like this one, a live Christmas play about... something... no idea. It was two weeks ago and I forgot all about it. Was too busy taking pictures anyways. Like the Ferrero Rocher Christmas Tree below! Awesome, ain't it? But it is not made of real chocolate (duh! Chocolate would melt when exposed to harsh and environmentally unfriendly light bulbs at night and harsh tropical humid sunlight at day.) Still, you cannot resist to imagine biting into a Ferrero Rocher that is as large as a bull's testicles.

Then we headed up towards Paragon, the Singaporean Suite for all those TDOs (Top Designer Outfits) that you probably can never afford and had to settle for a cheap 50 dollar knock off from a Malaysian/Hong Kong/Chinese thrift store. Since all the stores were closed and we had to leave early the next morning, 5 a.m. to be precise, I decided to camwhore with the brands, Ryan decided to butt in to ruin my life and get his fairshare of camwhoring. Little bastard. Wait till I know how to use photoshop! That will do you some good. Lets kick things off with Prada.

Followed by Jimmy Choo

Swarovski... I think and yes I was trying to be a Lady Gaga on an economy budget.

Then its Gucci not Ucci. Stupid Ryan blocking the 'G'

Miu Miu which Ryan mistakens it for Calvin Klein

Rocking it out with Salvatore Ferragamo

Must I act so pompous at Yves St Laurent? Yes... yes I do

Next is Hugo

After all the parading with brands and whatever (most of the pictures are on Facebook), it's time to call it a night. The next morning's picture is a family affair as you can see, at the Golden Lounge of checking in.

Did you see the fugly looking glasses that Darren is wearing?Even though a) he does not need glasses, b) he looks trendy in them (ie his kids will laugh at his pictures like they would laugh at a clown or cry, well, clowns are fucking horrifying okay!) and c) he can pass off the look as very cool? Yeah, well my aunt complained that it will do some harm to his eyesight and it is now donated to the needy children of Africa, sponsored by UNICEF and Qantas plus a few Malaysian coins that will be deemed useless to the Australians. Now my aunt being a Gold Frequent Flyer, gets to enjoy this.

Complimentary brekkie at the airport!

Complimentary beverages at the airport

And the best of all... Complimentary Wine and Champagne at the airport! Btw, there is a soda dispenser at the side.

Plus some pretzels and cookies for your enjoyment!

The picture above with the horses was displayed at the hallway leading towards the lounge.

Why is it so special that it has to be in this post and it's picture taken?

Because I have the exact same one at my grandmother's house.

Shows that my grandma and the decorator have the same good taste, lol.

Well, that's Singapore for you, after that I might be posting up Sydney next! So stay tuned!

Spotlight On: Jordin Sparks and Guy Sebastian

2010-01-03T12:03:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year to you guys, I will upload some pics of Singapore, Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne soon, but for now, I need to share with you this earth shattering collaboration that's heating up Australian airwaves! It's Australian Idol Guy Sebastian and American Idol Jordin Sparks, yup it's an Idol combo packing a one two punch!If you don't know who Guy Sebastian is, well, google him up. Sheesh. I am not a Lexipedia or a Sarafie or a Greggle, okay!

The song is called 'Art of Love' and yes it's like what the title suggests, its a ballad from a duet about learning the art of love, a nice power ballad that will probably make you forget another earth shattering collabo from a certain optimistic pollyanna featuring one of TV's breakout star in a super hot show who he happens to beat me to it in showing it... hahaha...

Jordin and Guy defintiely make a great combo, both of them have that balck soul that comes in handy when it comes to ballads like these. Well, I am no expert music reviewer or anything who uses technical jargon like lisp, senstous, electro and whateverb but I know good music when I hear it and I am always miles ahead when it comes to the hottest hits. Let's face it, I make Hitz.fm look like a channel meant for outdated ancient beings. So let's cue the video people!

Guy Sebastian ft. Jordin Sparks - Art Of Love [Official Video]

Guy Sebastian | MySpace Music Videos

H.A.T.E.

2009-12-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

H is for the hours you spent away
A is for the anger in my veins
T is for the terrible way you treat
E is for the emotions that blind me

How can I be so stupid
As if it's ridiculous for me to love you
Tell me why deep down I knew it would not last
Even if it lasted for a while

I hate you
You broke my heart
I hate you
You tore me apart
God please tell me
Why am I so stupid
To fall for some fuck like you
Trash like you should have never
be able to get someone like me

H is the hell you put me through
A is the altercations we had
T is for all the time that I wasted on you
E is for everyone to see what a fuck you are

I know that hate equals care
But that is all because of my anger
But deep down inside
I know it's only indifference

I hate you
You broke my heart
I hate you
You tore me apart
God please tell me
Why am I so stupid
To fall for some fuck like you
Trash like you should have never
be able to get someone like me

I know I would be fine
A loser like you would never bring me down
I have pride, diginity and class
While you are nothing but some trash
That I should have never even met

I hate you
You broke my heart
I hate you
You tore me apart
God please tell me
Why am I so stupid
To fall for some fuck like you
Trash like you should have never
be able to get someone like me

I leave you one note
That you better change
Cause I don't want the next guy
to suffer from
a bitch like you

A Short Note from the Golden Lounge of Qantas in Singapore

2009-12-19T08:55:00.000+08:00

In the famous catchphrase of Krusty the Clown 'Hey Hey Hey' all the way from the superficial tropical version of London in an island known as Singapore. Now, I decided not to bring my laptop along due to the fact of a new copyright law, so I can't talk much with you guys and my one blog post a day plan remains obviously ruined again (London was an excuse, but this is a valid reason, well slightly invalid but stronger than London's). Sigh, adding more homework only, lol. Also, my cell is unable to connect to Twitter or Facebook, so my status updates are also left in vain. It just goies to show how us humans are now so dependent on our electronic devices that it gets downright frustrating that it just doesn't work.

Just a short summary of my trip ie a helluva long wordy post so be prepared to squint your eyes people!!! Or so I think it is, I dunno, I have like an hour to type before leaving for an 8 hour flight towards Sydney.

So just a short summary on my trip:

Arrived on airport around 10 or 11 as flight leaves at 12, checked in and had Starbucks with family. Got my BRAND NEW DEODERANT FROM UBER MEN CHUCKED INTO THE TRASH because it is only 25 FREAKING ML MORE THAN THE DAMN LIMIT! ARGH!!! So ticked off. Not to mention, my dad is on hyper stress mode, cussing here and there, (here and there meaning me), don't worry, I am already used to the degrading verbal abuse.

After that we arrived on the plane and guess who decided to make a guest appearance in this episode of my life? MAKRETING CONCEPT LECTURER: Lynn Wee! OMG!! HAHA, pleasantly surprised, I know. After leaving, we checked into the Marriot Hotel and had a blast at the 27th floor. I forgot to take the pic of the room though, sad, but later I will show u pics of my bro in a bathrobe in the bathroom! I also got my hair before the trip... HATES IT! Damn should have waited for the better one!

Since we were on a bit of a time crunch, we only went to Bugis for shopping. HUGE discounts on my fav store TOPMAN!, bought a purple shirt for CNY! Also went there and bought a new watch from a stall there, the watch isn't cheap but it is not expensive either, the design is quite impeccably cool, and I also kinda got enticed by the hot chick selling them, haha. Okay, a part of my watch dropped, screw that bitch for selling me that stupid watch!

Also, the people in Singapore are like H.O.T.! Seriously, I have never seen so many people, locals and foreigners alike that I would so like to date and have sex with haha! Seriously! Hey, a certain Canadian Hot Chick is studying there right?? God, and funny thing is that they looked at me too but kinda not liking my ahir so.. I need to shave off that effing hair and lose weight and... Kuching makes me fat because there is absolutely nothing to do there and if there is something to do, then all those stupid suburban bozos will be there and I am not like them, so yeah. You get the point and no Darren you cannot borrow my iPhone. No Darren I seriously mean it, no! Darren needs to chat in MSN but the comp in the lounge got no msn.

Oh, and I also had problems guiding a certain direction illiterate person through the Singaporean street who acts as if she knows the way but actually doesn't and since she is on a higher heirachy in terms of family positioning than me, it all ended with us walking around like aimless ducks on the streets. Also, I have to use colours and numbers to explain to her.GOD!

So here goes like this: We need to go to use the red train and the go to City Hall in order to connect to the Green Train to get to Bugis. But we stop at the wrong station so because this is for the purple train so we need to go back to the red train again and go to the next stop which has the green train.

Her question: Oh oh oh so we go which way?

Me: Didn't you look at the sign?

She looks (directions point towards the left but she looks towards the escaltor which is her left): There?

Me: *slaps head and points toward the actual direction*

Her: Oh that way... How do we get there?

Me: *ignore*

And you ask me why I rather travel alone or with friends, backpacking and living in very very cheap and dirty hotels and probably having to resort to prostitution to get by rather than an all expense trip stay at Disneyland Paris with my whole family...

Possessed

2009-12-15T18:20:00.000+08:00

Lying down there on the street
Aimless and fazed
I almost didn't recognize you

You look like you haven't shaved for weeks
So haggard and tired
It shocks me that you are now like this

What happpen to you
Where did it all go wrong
I couldn' believe it
That the guy I used to know is now gone

You seem possessed by another soul
You don't look like yourself
It seems that the person I know is long gone
And yet I am standing here
looking at the vessel that
was once your body

You are looking out on the street
Drifting through life like a spectator
Like you were born just to watch

Your scruffy hair needs a cut
You need a wash
But you didn't seem to care

I tried to talk to you
But you only look at me
As I stare into those eyes
I saw that your spirit has already left your body

You seem possessed by another soul
You don't look like yourself
It seems that the person I know is long gone
And yet I am standing here
looking at the vessel that
was once your body

I lost my patience and tried to help you up
You still treated me like I was invisible
I search through your pockets
And I found cocaine
When I showed it to you
You got down to your knees and cried

You now know that you have been possessed
And you have lost yourself
It seems the person I knew is coming back
And now I am helping you up
The soul has retunrned
into your body

Thank You

2009-12-13T13:43:00.000+08:00

It's been a wild ride
It's been a fun time
But now it's all over
And I know we can't be together
I will miss your smell
I will miss your taste
I will miss all the laughters
That we shared together

It's the end of the road
There's no more down the line
This is where we part ways
And I will miss you while you are away

After all that we have been through
I just wanna say
Thank You

The lessons you taught me
The people you introduced to me
Showed me a big part
of who you are
A servant of Jesus
A caring friend
A good time all round family man
I guess I was stupid to push you away

It's the end of the road
There's no more down the line
This is where we part ways
And I will miss you while you are away

After all that we have been through
I just wanna say
Thank You

I know that you have other duties on you
and I accept that you and I are not to be continued
All I ask is that you promise me one thing
That you never stop being you

Because...

This is the end of the road
There's no more down the line
This is where we part ways
And I will miss you while you are away

I do not know
What's going to happen to you
All I know is
I will be waiting for you

So please stay safe
May Jesus take my place while you are away

After all that we have been through
I just wanna say
Thank You

The Pressure To Couple Up

2009-12-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

Whenever, you go to the mall, or being at school, or having a meal at a local restaurant, or generally being anywhere. A single person who has never entered into a relationship before would definitely feel envious or rather uncomfortable when hanging around with a lovey-dovey couple. This is because this is when that certain single person feels that there is this void in his or her life, this void cannot be filled by just anyone, it has to be filled by someone you care about, someone you cannot stop thinking about, someone that when you meet that someone, it makes not only makes your heart flutter, your hormones go crazy and your objects of sexual desire tighten, harden and pulsate with pumping blood vessels of the need to engage in sexual acts, but also a feeling of pure content, happiness (not THAT kind of happy okay) and relief aka a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

The void that exists has a hunger of a need that is to be fulfilled, that hunger turns into insecurities and then all of a sudden a fear rises within you. You begin to ask yourself 'Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life where my only campanionship is four dogs who I treat like human beings?' By the way, the aforementioned four dogs are on hormone overload right now and yes they are trying to satisfy their beastial urges by fucking each other, especially Liberty! God, my most prized pooch is nothing but some high class slut who wants a fuck any chance she gets, going around mating with every single dog in the neighborhood! I can seriously tell you, the male dogs were literally LINING UP for it! And here I thought that I raised her better! Screw that slutty dog! (as if she isn't screwed up already).

Anyway, where was I? Oh right the void thing.

So then you decided to go crazy like those male dogs, searching around, seeking a suitable chick to screw around with, sometimes your hormones cloud your judgment that you decide to get any pussy you can get, even if they are fat, smokers and have shit for brains. (Don't you know smoking makes you fat and so not hot?)

After that, you got what you wanted, then you realized those lovey-dovey fantasies that your beloved non-single friends are painting do not come just like that. It is not something as easy as opening a pack of instant noodles okay? It takes a lot of work, honestly, a lot. I mean even though, I am in the dating game for a short time, I honestly already feel exhausted. It takes time, a lot of work, a lot of care, a lot of attention, a serious hangover, toleration and consequently, a lot of money. With my trip to Australia coming up, it honestly is a bad time for me to start a relationship, jeez, with the money I spend these days, I am really feeling the burn. It's like, I wanna impress you but Australia is coming up and I wanna enjoy, have fun, go shopping and buy some stuff from Quicksilver so that I am wearing what you people will be wearing next Chinese New Year (the 2010 one is THIS Chinese New Year by the way.) Well, at least I got my shirts down, I have one from H&M, and another from Topman, ready rock your socks off, there is another Topman top, but I am kind of worried about my bulging tummy. It is tough for me you know, when it comes to working out, I wanna work out but it's tough without support. I have no friends interested in working out, my brothers are lazy like sloths that somehow have a high metabolic rate, my parents are characters that if I go working out with them, I think I should move far far away or disappear from the face of this earth and hide in a hole somewhere in the Antartic, me myself needs constant motivation and support because I can't do it alone and I don't like to be alone. Moreover, that stupid mother of mine likes to buy unhealthy snacks in order to entertain Ryan, me being a person who likes to eat, finds it difficult to not succumb to temptations. Oh by the way, Ryan unlike his older brothers, get to eat whatever the fuck he wants.

As I said, relationships are tough. Those lovey-dovey couples are either drugged by hormones or truly went through it. The early stages in my relationship, which is now is tough, because we always argue and make up. It's been a while like this. We just got to know each other and taking it slow, very slow since it's a long distance relationship which I do not like. My adivce? Make sure that you prepare yourself before going in, because it's going to need a lot of energy and concentration, and sometimes it makes you feel that you need to rethink your priorities.

If you feel that you are not concentrating on work or school, and you feel that your performance is ailing, by all means, end it. In the end, your girlfriend is supposed to support you, not distract you.

Brendan Goh, Down Under!!!!

2009-12-05T14:10:00.000+08:00

Seriously the words are so damn obvious, but just in case you don't know, I am going to tell it to you in an abstract video. I am going to this place from the 19th, all the way to the 1st of January 2010. So check it out people.

Spotlight On: Cheryl Cole

2009-12-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

Cheryl Cole is one of the singers from one of the ever popular Brit girl bands Girls Aloud, after they have decided to pull off from band duties for a while and try out solo careers, the famous X-Factor judge or Mrs Ashley Cole of Chelsea (BOO!!!!) decided to pull off a solo career first ahead of her other bandmates Nadine Coyle, Sarah Harding, Nicola Roberts and Kimberly Walsh. Now, unless you sound different from what your band usually sounds, you are destined for failue and also the fact that usually when it comes to band members who pull off solo careers, only one is destined to be successful ie (Beyonce, Ronan Keating, Robbie Williams, Rachel Stevens, Jesse McCartney). So with the already high status that she has (X-Factor Judge, Mrs Ashley Cole and a Girls Aloud member) expectations, to say the least, were high. So she released her first single 'Fight For This Love' and it hit number one on the UK Charts, her next single featuring Will.i.a.m (who she was featured in his song 'Heartbreaker') titled '3 Words' (also name of album) is slowly becoming a hit. The videos below show the vids, check them out before continuing, if your net is down or whatever (Guiliano) then download the damn song or play it in ur head for 5 seconds and read on. 'Fight For This Love' is an official video while '3 Words' is not.

'Fight For This Love' is a very catchy song, the video is a little French with a bit of Micheal Jackson in it. I love it. As for '3 Words' there is a certain kind of calmness into it, a bit of like song of peace with a nice clubby beat. Very smooth.

Cheryl Cole is what to us, as what any crooner was to our grandparents, smooth beats, nice clubby feel, a sense of energy but more towards peace. Think of a modern 1920s speakeasy, very Chuck Bass. Her music definitely needs a few more listens to take in it's hidden charm. At first, you would feel like this song is nothing special, but you feel that you should listen to it a bit more, then you keep on listening to it, which you will then find yourself loving it. Chery Cole's music is mysterious, noir, charming, calming, indulgent and a very outspoken soft confidence. I think that Cheryl Cole's album may probably find it's way into my car, because I can definitely imagine myself listening to it while driving.

So what are you waiting for? GET CHERYL COLE INTO MALAYSIAN AIRWAVES NOW!!!

Spotlight On: Adam Lambert

2009-11-25T14:59:00.000+08:00

Man, when Adam Lambert says it's going to be different, I didn't think it was going to be this different.
His new single 'For Your Entertainment' was extremely hot.
Just think about this, he is probably the only artist that can become the male version of Britney or Lady Gaga and yet still being able to pull it off as cool and normal.
Don't believe me, then judge it for yourself where performed it at the American Music Awards, however, viewer discretion is advised. Curious? Well watch the video for your entertainment. For all that I can tell you, I am damn entertained.

Why my posts aren't like others

2009-11-16T12:10:00.000+08:00

Okay, by now are maybe like a year or two ago, you probably would think this about me.
Brendan Goh has a blog
Brendan Goh has fluent English
Brendan Goh indeed does has typos in his blog posts that he doesn't bother to check them, therefore causing retarded-ness and confusion when reading.
But then you ask

Where are all the pictures,
Where are all the reviews of local restaurants
Where are the bloody camwhore pictures of you and some brilliant hot chick with humungous breast who has an affinity towards Canada ~~*coughcoughbiancacoughngcoughcoughpohheavyheavycoughcoughliancoughcorderocoughheavyiknowyourcoughfullname*~~

Well, there are no pictures of me with some big breasted Canadian Asian hot chick on my lap because...
Okay, I am not gay
I know you think its gay because guys should have hot chicks on their laps
Plus those crazy fantasies of me and some Latino/Korean/White/Pinoy/Japanese/Samoan melting pot hybrid of a boyfriend who probably never exists and even if he does, we would never meet or he is straight.
Here are some ~~excuses~~ reasons that I will never do such things

1. I am basically an angel, well an acid tongued angel but still, I am an angel.

I RARELY go clubbing, me in a club is as rare as me getting caught wearing my sweatpants inside out while going shopping for some groceries. Okay, maybe that's not the right thing to say, uh... ah hah! It is as rare as well it doesn't rain in Chinese New Year. The only time I hit the clubs was during New Years and that's it. Why? Well first of all, it is not G.A.Y. which is awesome and fun. Clubs in my suburban town of Kuching are usually packed with people. When I mean people, I mean people who have no taste in fashion, slutty little minxes and also stupid parents and grandmothers scaring the shit about me about stories of people going into clubs, get into fights and then die there. One of the stories that I can remember very well is that there was this girl who got in with a bad boy but the girl wants to break up with the bad boy, so the girl asks another guy who was studying overseas but came back for a visit and also to help her out and settle, so overseas guy did as the chick told him to do, he got banged up, went to a coma and died. Voila! The trend that sets my fears in Kuching nightclubs.

2. My friends are angels too.

It is true my friends are like me, angels. I mean I am the angle that can be a fallen angel but these people are probably like God's elite little group of goody two shoes. Basically I am a good boy that can go bad, they are people that will never go bad. Therefore, happy and content = boredom. What am I to do? I am very good at choosing friends, cause I always choose the ones who are happy and content/ boring. Maybe because of the fact that the ones hanging in clubs are usually unable to communicate with me in my level of- obviously/ apparently/ although I do not think so-English.

3. I am not a very popular blogger.

I don't get hundreds of comments everytime I put up a post, usually I am lucky if I even have one or two!!! My form of blogging mainly is about me and my life, it is my opinion only. Plus, my form of humour is usually a bit dark and which some people usually do not get. Moreover, I blog for me. I don't blog for anyone else. Obviously I am happy to write a review or an advertorial but I don't get much feed here, most people read my blog are from Malaysia and the United States, yet no one bothers to leave a comment or click the ads.

4. My life is not interesting
I don't own a gym, I am not the blogger of the year in Nuffnang's awards, I obviously have not met the Black Eyed Peas, Tony Fernandes does not sponsor me free flights. I also have not met Lewis Hamilton, currently dating an American, dyed my hair blonde and having my own web show. I also do not have two published books, I don't post pictures of my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend who is so obviously below me and thrash them all over facebook. I also am not a student in NYU, though I definitely wished that I am one and I do not get the opportunity to go to London everytime holidays kick in, I only get to go to London like once in, well a lifetime. So screw me.

So yeah, I am definitely not that popular but that's who I am. It's my life and currently my life is for my parents to screw cause obviously I have not gotten to an overseas university. If I graduate from Swinburne, well, it is the end of the world people, prepare to suffer the 2012 thing.

Left for dead: The Parody

2009-11-13T08:44:00.000+08:00

My bro was watching some ridiculous reality TV series that displays real horrifying, absurd, ridiculous, tragic, something only dumb nuts would watch kind of things that was caught on camera. When I mean dumb nuts I mean when you are watching TV, then some stupid relative comes over and say the following questions.

What is this?
Why is he like that?
EEE, how come like that?
Is this a reality television show?

To which I will reply, 'Shut the fuck up and watch the damn thing.'

So anyway, we were watching this show when we saw this man got run over by a car and he just lay there on the floor. For the next, I dunno few minutes, people there were just watching the guy lying there on the ground, motionless and not calling the ambulance. Even a few cars drive by and slow down to watch but then leave. After that a few people were also just watching the guy. So creepy and weird and its something that bloody asians would do, but the tape was American, which is why it's so weird.

So I decided to compile a few fictional scenarios of what would happen if it was in Malaysia.

Guy gets ran over by some super pimped up Proton Saga that is probably too heavily tinted in the wrong way so that he drives around like some blind maniac on the streets.

Scene 1: The Kepo Old Ladies
Old Lady A: Aiyo, why like this.
Old Lady B: The guy got run over leh
Old Lady A: Aiyo,why like that
Old Lady B: Dunno leh, must be thos naughty children, drive here and drive there always very fast one, people should only drive when they are 40 la! Road so much safer plus every 1 km must have bump one.
Old Lady A: Ya lo, eh, isn't this man has the son who was involved in that one girl two man sex scene on TV?
Old Lady B: Yeah, what was it laio ah, my kids always watch it one.
Old Lady A: It call the show ah... International something la
Old Lady B: Poor man la, not only dying like that but also having to bear the shame of his son kissing another man on TV.
Old Lady A; Eh, shouldn't someone call an ambulance?
Old Lady B: Aiya, my phone no credit la
Old Lady A: Aiyo me too!

Both Ladies then walk away.

Scene 2: Measurements and Lottery
Guy A: Hey look is that a dead guy on the street?
Guy B: No, he is alive la. See him over there, the chest up and down, wan die, dun wan die like that?
Guy A: Oh, poor thing guy not in car la! We can get teh number to strike 4D or toto! Sure fa chai one! Another man's misfortune is our fortune!
Guy B: Aiya, you not creative one! See right, we can get number from the clothes! From the backside of pants and the shirt.
Guy A: But he wear collar shirt leh, no number one! Only S, M, L and XL nia.
Guy B: Hiya, you not creative one, flip him over the backside, okay, pants size is 36 then take one of the shoe off. Shoe size nine for US, ok this mean that in Europe is 44. So it is 3644 and then we go and buy one pao. Fa Chai Here we come!
Guy A: Wah, you so smart ah!
Guy B: I am not smart, it just that I have a 3 year experience in working as a shop helper in Ah Beng R Us.
Guy A: Wah! Chio wei!

Scene 3: Opportunity Strikes
Guy walks over, grabs wallet, takes money, put it back and walk off.

Scene 4: Blind Motorcyclist
Dude runs over the man with the motor cycle.

Scene 5: Distracting Children
Children at the back making noise and annoying parents. Parents wishing they did not have so many kids and should have used protection since like ever.

Children making noise
Mom: Look kids dead guy
Kids: eee!! Let me see, no let me see, no I wan see!!! OOOO!!!!! YUCK!!!!! EEE!!!!!

Yeah, that's all I can think off, feel free to comment by giving other more creative and absurd scenarios.

Finals are coming!!!

2009-11-04T18:26:00.000+08:00

I am so dead
I am so dead
FINALS ARE COMING
FINALS ARE COMING
FINALS ARE COMING

So why the hell am I not studying?
I dunno, suddenly no inspiration to study
Yeah, prepare for my funeral
Please come.

Distance

2009-11-01T15:43:00.000+08:00

In my room
I turned my head and looked out
Rain pattering on my window
I look out on to the fields
Children having fun without a care

I turned and look down at my phone
You called me and I answered
You wanted us to be together
But there is this little thing that's holding me back

Its called distance
I wish you were holding me right now
But you couldn't
Cause you are so far away that I couldn't touch you
I want to feel your breath
I want to feel your kiss
But this thing called distance
Is breaking me apart

Seems so close
Yet so far
I need you right now
But you can only care from afar
Makes me wonder if it's all worth it

I know you are good
I know I like you too
But you are so far away
It does not make me feel safe

It's called distacne
I wish you were holding me right now
But you couldn't
Cause you are so far away that I couldn't touch you
I want to feel your breath
I want to feel you kiss
But this thing called distance
Is breaking me apart

I don't care how much you say you love me
I don't care whatever things you would do
All wanted is to be with you
But you are so far away
How can you expect me to love you

It's called distance
I wish you were holding me right now
But you couldn't
Cause you are so far away that I couldn't touch you
I want to feel your breath
I want to feel your kiss
But this thing called distance
is breaking me apart

How to behave in a cinmea.

2009-11-01T10:11:00.002+08:00

How to behave in the cinema

Watch the fucking movie
Eat the fucking food
Sit like any other normal person should
Laugh when apporpriate
Silent phone
Keep kids under the age of five at home
Seats are tight, keep legs together
Refrain shaking legs

Right, this is how you are supposed to behave in the cinema.
But did most people do it? No.

I was watching Micheal Jackson's 'This is it' yesterday
First time I went there with my mom
Was it an enjoyable experience?
NO.
But we will leave that for another post
I will screw MBO, Spring and SESCO later
Right now, I want to screw those bloody bastards in the cinema who interrupted my inspiration of the cheography and creativity of the late Micheal Jackson.

Anyway, I was sitting there and guess what during the whole time?
I did not mind the guy was being energetic, after all I respect that
But sooner or later I found out that the bastard was mocking him
Honestly, I was trying to enjoy my movie and that fucking bastard screamed in the fucking theather
And you know it is hard to concentrate when the moves in protrayed in the dance becomes synonymous with cheesy 80s porn
Thank you bastard grunting sex noises in the cinema.

Then there are those bloody fucking children
These children should be left at home or grandma's or somewhere
Screaming and whining and being annoying as usual over spilled popcorn
Screw those children
Honestly, Spring should have a daycare center to dump these stupid kids at.

Then there are those bloody ones that are too old to be stuffed there
They take AGES and I mean AGES to choose a fucking seat
Those bloody fucking no brain, badly dressed little whores with their shoes screaming 'I am a young, underage Asian whore who charges 10 bucks an hour and 50 a night! Woo hoo! Oh I am feeling especially slutty today!Fuck and Suck for 30 Bucks! Plus I have no pussy hair!'

I honestly do not find people eating in the cinema, after all I do too
but there are people who want to display their fabulous chewing power by chewing loudly in the theather
And slurping their drinking cups like noodles
God, I cannot tell you how many times I feel that I should be the first Malaysian to murder someone with an iPhone.

Then there are idiots who forget to silent their phones
You know, one ring ruins the whole moment
Which sucks.
Screw those people who forget to silent their phones
Hoenstly Kuching Cinemas should have one of those societal marketing adverts like the cinemas in the UK.
I don't care if it's 20 Ringgit, I call it 4 Pounds
They display noises of ringing cell phones, idiots talking loudly and crying babies.
Then a slogan and silence.
Cool right?

Then, there are people who cannot seem to sit probably
I had one bad experience is that there was some idiot shaking his legs and causing my whole chair to vibrate, I don't know if he was kicking my chair or whatever
But I sure as hell feel like giving that person a good old Pedigree on the steps.

Then there is Ryan, who although is my brother is absolutely annoying.
Narrating to me
I can watch the fucking movie and do not need you to narrate, so shut the fuck up you little bastard.

God, honestly, if you want piece and quite, go buy a damn DVD player and a large screen TV, renovate a room into a home theater and have your very own popcorn machine.
There, silence and you no need to stuff yourself in the crappy cinema again.

Right, wait for a few days and I will tell you why I shold screw MBO, Spring and SESCO.

Oh cast of my life update!

Main Cast

Brendan
Belinda
Siaw Wee
Guiliano
Jia Jin
Yuyun
Kiat Seng
Alvin
Evon

Recurring Cast
Guhan
Doreen
Eric
Joseph
Debaters Club
Cheryl

It has been one week

2009-10-26T14:45:00.000+08:00

Wow, I really cannot believe that it has been a whole week since I blogged
I mean, I have gone without blogging for over a month, but that was forced, this was voluntary
Which tells me, that October is an extremely busy month for me
Other than my usual TV Shows to watch in the computer, I also have dreadful assignments to complete.
TV Shows have November Sweeps ( Period where they air new episodes every week)
We have Assignment Sweeps ( Period where we have to submit an assignment every week, on top of out regular homework)

Other than that, I also have a group marketing presentation to finish, which is only fiar because I am pure dead weight in the accounting area compared to Siaw Wee and Belinda
Thus, it ends with me paying the favor by preparing a marketing presentation all by myself right?
Seems so unfair right?
They have to slave over a whole assignment
While I just type words in 24 slides.
Wrong!
Marketing Lecturer has a few choice of weapons, she either shoots you with a small little water gun or full blast with a nuclear bazooka!
My presentation usually ends with minimal damage.
Yay me!

Other than that, I have been trying out Smackdown vs Raw 2010.
Going to write a review soon
Yeah, but first I have Accounting and Quantitaitve Analysis to finish
Yeah, Assignment Sweeps
Sweeping my sanity away.

Oh, I got 3rd place for debate but lost for public speaking...
FML.

Cowards to note

2009-10-18T16:56:00.000+08:00

Well, we all have people that will hate us, no matter what.
The world is so diverse, that whatever you do, you would definitely have to be ready to be expected to be judged on by others.
Not everyone in the world loves you, not everyone hates you either.
However, everyone is a critic.
And everyone has haters
Whether it is pure jealousy or down right disagreements (pure jealousy is most likely it), everyone has a motive to hate.
Yet, there are definitely some people who are more... let's just say... 'passionate' than others.
When I mean 'passionate' I actually mean 'having the time to wake up at four A.M. in the morning, posting hate notes on your chatbox.'

Believe me, there were down moments
There were times where I have decided that blogging only causes more harm than good
There were moments where I just stare at the screen pondering whether to delete this blog or not.
There were sometimes, I feel if this blog is not worth it at all.
But when I look down to the core, I would always know that I am doing the right thing.
Why? Because...

This is my BLOG!!!!

And I can do whatever the fuck I want with it! (within the legal restrictions of national law of course)

If you have followed me since the day this blog was born, you would know that I have faced all these kinds of haters before. In fact, taking a look back at my past trials and tribulations in handling these dimwitted, untalented losers, I can actually categorize them into a few types.

1. I am a psychiatrist who buys my degree for 99 cents at the 99 cents store.
These people are seriously annoying, they act smart because they think that they are smart. They definitely will use some sort of terms as if you feel that they are breaking you down to the core, word by word. In actual fact, they really are just beating around the bush. They wil crap a bunch of words where it only revolves around one single keyword. usual noted keywords are sad, depressed, angry followed by a slur of deductions and assumptions.

Seriously, if they are fucking actual psychiatrist then people like Jamie Ding who is pursuing a degree in psychology would might as well have gone to spend 99 cents to get a degree in psychology instead of spending thousands of dolloars and 4 years in Segi. Personally I think it is insulting to pose as a psychiatrist where there are many people doing it as a profession. Honestly, the person that should go and see a shrink is not the blogger but the person posing at it in the first place? What kind of crazy hatred that makes them feel that they need to impersonate a psychiatrist in order to bring someone down?

2. The person who wants you to delete your blog
Let's say you have an opinion, and lets say it really stirred up a controversy. There will definitely be some people will say that your blog should be deleted because it is so hurtful and whatever.

Well, in my opinion, I am blogging whatever I like to blog. That person does not have the right to judge nor to demand you to delete your blog. Your blog concerns only you and no one else. I personally feel that you should not heed to their demands of deletion. You are not a politician, you do not belong in a political party, it is just you. So why should you delete your blog just because you have an opinion and feel it is important to raise an issue?

3. The meaningless insults of a douchebag
It is just a slur of degenrative comments of some idiot with no brains. Usually it is a bunch of Ah Bengs and Ah Lians.

They are stupid to begin with, why bother?

4. The spammer
He comes to your blog at 4a.m. to publish a bunch of repetitive words of nonsense.

The person's current main purpose in life is for you to delete your blog, you should feel honored that your influence is radical and that there is someone that is pathetic enough to spend time to copy and paste stupid comments on your chatbox every second.

5. The gang
The gang are like a bunch of people who repetitively post hurtful comments on your blog. They are a collective of people who plan to get rid of your blog.

They are definitely the toughest yet due to their strength in numbers. But remember, there is something called momentum. Sooner or later, they will give up.

All of these people are nothing but a bunch of cowards. They do not have the balls to show their true identities because they like to haunt you from afar but are actually afraid of confrontation. They have no lives and are pathetic little souls. Personally, these haters got the short end of the stick for me. They have no purpose in life, they are cowards and they plainly are just a bunch of losers with an obsession of the superficial. That is why they are fake people because all the crap they own is fake.

Just take it this way, these losers would rather stoop and buy a fake 200 dollar Louis Vuitton bag in order for some sort of pathetic little recognition that they actually own something designer and part of the high society. We, on the other hand would work our way up. We depend on hard work, personality and good credibility. With that, we are shown to have the style, the facade, the worth, the honour and the confidence to carry an ORIGINAL Louis Vuitton bag from the actual French Fashion House instead of pawning it from some Asian illegal immigrant.

We say Louis Vuitton, they yap LV.

Remember, it is your blog and if you have haters, that means your blog is important and one step towards being a superior one. It is not about the comments in your blog, although some feedback is good but what's most important is the content.

7 Types of Clothing that you should invest now (Guys)

2009-10-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

I am a guy and yes, I pride myself as a self proclaimed fashion and styling icon.
Why?
Because I dress better than most of the drabs around.
Seriously, all those episodes of Project Runway, Gossip Girl and 90210 of looking at how the actors dress and look like ans I have no fashion sense? You gotta be kidding me.
The only reason I ask for someone's opinion when buying clothes is to reduce my cognitive dissonance and prevent me from spending more money.
Because, God knows what super hot pants or shirt comes along, I would immediately buy them.
Thankfully for my UK clothes, I don't dress like the boy from Padini or the boy in all the plane jane stuff in malls.
As we all know, stuff here is either high quality and outdated or trendy but trashy and looks like it will rip in a few weeks.
So here are the following that you will need to start investing on, to be in.

1. Checkered or Plaid Shirts.
This is preferably to be short sleeved. Long sleeved ones are not only impractical as they will make you sweat in the humid weather but it also makes you look like some trashy hillbilly from out of town. Avoid anything that resembles curtains or picnic table cloths. Your best bet is hues of grey, white, black, yellow, lime green and blue. Make sure that the plaids are not plain ones like the ones you see on chess boards, there should be a combination or large and small squares or different colours for the ones of chess board design. It should be 3 or more to be exact. Also, please make sure that it is tight fitting, loose makes you look fat.

2. Bright colored pants.

Never to be afraid of giving your pants some color, hues of black, grey, white and blue are long gone. The more outrageous the colour, the better. Think pink, electric blue, lime green and anything that is bright that will make you shine. Now, you don't want to walk around like some walking traffic light, so some neutral colored top would be perfect, preferably white or in the same hue or black.

3. Skinny Jeans

Skinny Jeans are so in, even though I only have one pair, I am already madly in love with skinny jeans. Best bet is dark colors like black or purple, bright ones are cool too. The darker the better but don't wear them too often guys, unless you want infertility issues in the future and don't worry about the tightness, it is actually extremely comfortable.
Perfect with plaid shirts, actually amazing with plaid shirts.

4. Square Ended Ties

These were very popular in the 50s and 60s and thanks to Mad Men, apopular cable television show, it is making a comback. It is definitely something different compared to before. Now a little thing about vintage, vintage clothing means a modern twist on already outdated looks, not rustling for something out of your grandfather's napthalene filled dusty old closet. Pair it with a suit, some striped pants and some sensible black shoes.

5. Short Plaid Pants

FINALLY, something from an Ah Beng trend that I actually like and give a damn to blog about. Short pleated pants are amazingly great if paired with a hat. I said HAT not CAP. Then you need a coloured jacket or shirt that is opened up and a plain white tee inside. Finish it off with some nice BK or Addidas. Remember, plaid pants are bold and structured giving off a serious persona and it is defintely best to tone it down by making the rest of your outfit more relaxed. Slippers are not recommended, unless it is the same colour. Avoid anything graphic or wordy on your tee, I just imagined a fat Ah Beng holding a cigarette posing. As for a striped top or polo, better not, doesn't match.

6. Beach Wear

Beach wear is moving from the beach to the streets, where you can have people posing as posers and act like they actually know a thing or two about surfing. Here is one thing you need to follow, no contrasting colours, unless you have shoes on. ie white tee and black shorts must go with black shoes and no slippers. If it is slippers, then head to toe must be of one color, then it looks much better.

7 Huge Sunglasses

Now this is my thing aka copyrighted by Brendan Goh and meant for Brendan Goh and Brendan Goh has set the trend for guys wearing large sunglasses. Huge white sunglasses is my thing, no bastard, bitch and or slut can copy it, I am the original. I am the Boy with the White Sunglasses. If you do it, screw you. Yes, sunglasses are great, however, they should match your face. I found out that my sunnies suits me the best when I have a longer face and longer hair, white a simple Nike Visor works well with my short hair. Sunglasses is not about the clothes but it is about your face because sunglasses can work well with any outfit.

So I know some of these things can be a little if not a lot far out for some of you guys since this is a suburbabn town and your trashy fashion blind friends may mock your style because it is European/American and they will only praise and hail it if some stupid Japanese Anime Cartoon Character with a ear piercing shriek for a voice wears it about five years ago, well don't worry, wear it now. When your friends wear it, you say that it was so five years ago and I already donated it to charity, or you can sell your clothes to them and make some serious cash.

Fashion is subjective, trends come and go. If we are bored of the old one then we move on towards the new one. But it is always better to be a few steps ahead, don't you think?