Its 3 am, I couldn't sleep. I dunno what to blame, my loss or the bad bed that is making my back sore right now. But I think the fact is that I am no longer who I am again. Everytime I did something that I thought was right, never came up as I intended it to be.
But simple fact is this, I am pissed off.
But then again, having uncertainty in the future is what I like the most, it gives me the best opportunity to flip. Either as an ally or as an enemy or nothing but a mere neutral party. I am given the freedom to do whatever I want. I guess that I am free enough to get a part time job, or focus on the drama production more. But whatever it is, my loyalties have been diminished. I felt that I am free to do whatever I want. Like a released pro wrestler, I can go to rival organizations, work independent events, retire, become a personality the list goes on and on.
Oh don't worry, I will still continue. But you will definitely see much much less of me, unless there is a matter of importance arising.
Even though I am pissed that I did not get what I want
I know this
I am free to grow.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A little update on my life
Well, I know I have not been spending as much time as I should have in this blog but the fact is that I have quite a lot of drama in my life right now and my life is also preoccupied with a bunch of other priorities that blogging just has to take a step back. I dunno if its good or bad because I know that I blog whenever I get creative, inspirational, sad or angry but mostly sad and angry. So here is a bunch of stuff that is going on in my life right now.
Hairspray, the musical.
Yes, you are looking at a cast member and the playwrite of this musical. Its basically a modern, glee-ish version of the play. Very feel good and what not. People loved it, it got rave reviews and those of us who require a sense of intellect and wit in the play will certainly love the obvious and not so obvious puns and references in it. However, things may end prefectly but I can sure tell you that along the way, there is literal hell to pay. I faced with envy, animousity and even neglect (how can u forget the script writer in the flyer?). I hated the power players there at first but I ended up valuing them, liking them and respecting them as individuals as we all pulled through in the end. I have to say, it was fun putting up a production.
Prom
Yes, I attended prom. It sucked big time. I was pretty pissed off with the layout of the prom. I don't feel like a celebrity and I certainly don't feel like one of the VIPs. Plus the buffet line. I know that everyone is hungry but seriously, there is a thing called a line. There is one line in and one line out. Move in an orderly fashion, not attacking the food! Idiots!We are not chimpanzees, we are human beings! Seriously even refugees at some camp are more orderly than you are. I also saw something absolutely atrocious. Someone stuffed white rice, tomato rice and pasta all into one plate like a pile of carbo haven, godness gracious.
Exams
Looming exams mean one thing, less blogging, go figure.
Professional Life
Professionally I guess I would have to say its heading towards the right direction, getting more creative and intellectual side of things down in the resume. Sports which will be a difficult challenge will also come into play sooner or later. My grades are also probably going to slip this semester, things are getting slightly tougher this semester and I am up for the two VP posts at Debaters Club, simply because of my unconfirmed status in the future, I can't be president.
Personal Life
Romance department is a dud. Its failing its dry. Friends though are abundant, I am having a lot more close friends, I have gained new family members. So my social life is not as pathetic as before, but then again, its not my fault that I got sent to a shit hole of a high school but then again, kinda happy as I find myself appreciating my new cast of friends more.
Potential Doom
Lets just say that there is a sequel in the works, difference is the sequel is I like both the tangible and the intangible. And I can only hope that a repeat is not going to happen, its going to be disastrous for me if it happens.
Hairspray, the musical.
Yes, you are looking at a cast member and the playwrite of this musical. Its basically a modern, glee-ish version of the play. Very feel good and what not. People loved it, it got rave reviews and those of us who require a sense of intellect and wit in the play will certainly love the obvious and not so obvious puns and references in it. However, things may end prefectly but I can sure tell you that along the way, there is literal hell to pay. I faced with envy, animousity and even neglect (how can u forget the script writer in the flyer?). I hated the power players there at first but I ended up valuing them, liking them and respecting them as individuals as we all pulled through in the end. I have to say, it was fun putting up a production.
Prom
Yes, I attended prom. It sucked big time. I was pretty pissed off with the layout of the prom. I don't feel like a celebrity and I certainly don't feel like one of the VIPs. Plus the buffet line. I know that everyone is hungry but seriously, there is a thing called a line. There is one line in and one line out. Move in an orderly fashion, not attacking the food! Idiots!We are not chimpanzees, we are human beings! Seriously even refugees at some camp are more orderly than you are. I also saw something absolutely atrocious. Someone stuffed white rice, tomato rice and pasta all into one plate like a pile of carbo haven, godness gracious.
Exams
Looming exams mean one thing, less blogging, go figure.
Professional Life
Professionally I guess I would have to say its heading towards the right direction, getting more creative and intellectual side of things down in the resume. Sports which will be a difficult challenge will also come into play sooner or later. My grades are also probably going to slip this semester, things are getting slightly tougher this semester and I am up for the two VP posts at Debaters Club, simply because of my unconfirmed status in the future, I can't be president.
Personal Life
Romance department is a dud. Its failing its dry. Friends though are abundant, I am having a lot more close friends, I have gained new family members. So my social life is not as pathetic as before, but then again, its not my fault that I got sent to a shit hole of a high school but then again, kinda happy as I find myself appreciating my new cast of friends more.
Potential Doom
Lets just say that there is a sequel in the works, difference is the sequel is I like both the tangible and the intangible. And I can only hope that a repeat is not going to happen, its going to be disastrous for me if it happens.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I wonder if he knows
I wonder if he knows, that no matter what he does, the daisies will keep on popping up
I wonder if he knows, the dog he loves so much has so much love to give... to other people
I wonder if he knows, his dog loves me too
I wonder if he knows, the novelty has passed
I wonder if he knows, not to mess with cats when they are not meant to be touch
I wonder if he knows, this cat is going to give him the love prowl
I wonder if he knows, its time for a little GG
I wonder if he knows, something big is coming up
I want him to know, watch out.
I wonder if he knows, the dog he loves so much has so much love to give... to other people
I wonder if he knows, his dog loves me too
I wonder if he knows, the novelty has passed
I wonder if he knows, not to mess with cats when they are not meant to be touch
I wonder if he knows, this cat is going to give him the love prowl
I wonder if he knows, its time for a little GG
I wonder if he knows, something big is coming up
I want him to know, watch out.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
The Digi 24 Hour Movie Marathon
RM2,500 or an ipod shuffle if you just stay for 24 hours cramped inside dark theater, sitting on the supremely uncomfortable synthetic movie theater seat upholstery and make sure you don't curse loudly, have a conversation or closing your eyes for more than 10 seconds.
Sounds easy huh?
Well, it is. If you just stare at the theater screen for like ever, why not?
But then you gotta pay attention, as questions will be asked on the movies that you have watched
That is when we say, shit happens.
Or if you wanted to put it in the terms of a certain Brit afficienado with a high tendency to curse and where the curse words alternate and have their phases where this certain Brit affiicienado has a high tendency to use them, then you would say: KAH NEE NEH (which literally means "motherfucker" in foochow which this certain Brit afficienado currently constantly uses and has only learned about the actual meaning of the word precisely 48 hours ago and is now trying to use the conventional curse word "bollocks'')
Anyway, I ditched the debaters for this. Yes, I have no principles when it comes to money or desperate because I need the cash, look, whatever makes your dick stand or breast erect is fine with me. I need the cash.
I woke up at 6.am., approximately 6 or 7 hours prior to the start of the marathon. Why? Duties first, public speaking competition. Chaos ensued. Thankfully, we prepped well, so even though the delays were horrible, at least we managed to complete within the time frame. But it was almost 11 which is when registration starts.
I was already rushing with Ashik along and met up with Fitria, Tina, Kim Seng and Albert when I learned that I left my disclaimer form at my table lamp. Fuck, so I had to go for another wild goose chase looking for a photocopy machine where Digi thankfully has one. After registering at the last minute, I am in.
My energy was completely drained after entering the theater. Thankfully, a witty, romantic tale of The Time Traveller's Wife set my brain in motion. This is followed by Ip Man, which was really cool to watch. Then came to Pandorum, which was real horrible. Since it is a sci fi thriller.
Then, at the next alternate even numbers (movies number 4, 6, 8 and 10) are all in mother fucking bloody cantoneese. I hated them all, except maybe number 6, which is called Echoes of the Rainbow, a lovely tale and a very very cute guy, okay, in fact there were a bunch of cute male extras in male school uniforms (perverted bi curious fantasies arising that shall no longer be elaborated) But fact is, I think I am pretty fluent in Cantoneese now. Oh well, you are always learning, it can come from the most unexpected unimaginable way possible.
Then, they were the Thai movies, the first one was cheap, horrible and there is those mic muffler things that are visible on top, how can you portray a bloody emotion if there is a bloody hairy, furry thing on top that looks like the balls of some gigantic gorilla? Next Thai movie incorporates all my personal favourites, a British setting with a little dash of French debonaire, a coming of age plot, indy movie like direction and cinematics, the emo feeling and of course really really hot chicks and dudes except you know, the movie is mainly in Thai. The marathon apparently ends with a personal favorite, The Proposal
If you are reading carefully, you would know what has happened to me already, if not, simply continue on.
So then there was the trivia questions. The first one got half the hall eliminated, the second one got another half eliminated, which left till 15 people after the second question. The third one got another 3 gone and then the 4th question, you can say the semi finals. I got eliminated then. The answer is red and I was wearing red pants, I did not know that answer, was not confident but I should have paid tribute to the red pants. So the significant reminder of my lost of 2,500 or the iPod shuffle is evidenced by what I am wearing on the waist down.
I feel defeated. Sigh. I left after my elimination and called my mom. I knew I would be stuck even longer at Spring since I know my mom will shop and I needed rest fast. So I ditched the Proposal and went shopping and left. Ashik is in the final 8 btw, congrats to him but lets hope he wins the iPod shuffle.
All in all, not bad since I won my mom her birthday present. And I got a nice T-shirt. Another T-shirt to wear to debate... yay me!
Okay guys, I am gonna stop righting here. I have to start preparing for the funeral of my RM2,500 and possibly bracing for the announcement that I need to prepare another one for my iPod shuffle.
Sounds easy huh?
Well, it is. If you just stare at the theater screen for like ever, why not?
But then you gotta pay attention, as questions will be asked on the movies that you have watched
That is when we say, shit happens.
Or if you wanted to put it in the terms of a certain Brit afficienado with a high tendency to curse and where the curse words alternate and have their phases where this certain Brit affiicienado has a high tendency to use them, then you would say: KAH NEE NEH (which literally means "motherfucker" in foochow which this certain Brit afficienado currently constantly uses and has only learned about the actual meaning of the word precisely 48 hours ago and is now trying to use the conventional curse word "bollocks'')
Anyway, I ditched the debaters for this. Yes, I have no principles when it comes to money or desperate because I need the cash, look, whatever makes your dick stand or breast erect is fine with me. I need the cash.
I woke up at 6.am., approximately 6 or 7 hours prior to the start of the marathon. Why? Duties first, public speaking competition. Chaos ensued. Thankfully, we prepped well, so even though the delays were horrible, at least we managed to complete within the time frame. But it was almost 11 which is when registration starts.
I was already rushing with Ashik along and met up with Fitria, Tina, Kim Seng and Albert when I learned that I left my disclaimer form at my table lamp. Fuck, so I had to go for another wild goose chase looking for a photocopy machine where Digi thankfully has one. After registering at the last minute, I am in.
My energy was completely drained after entering the theater. Thankfully, a witty, romantic tale of The Time Traveller's Wife set my brain in motion. This is followed by Ip Man, which was really cool to watch. Then came to Pandorum, which was real horrible. Since it is a sci fi thriller.
Then, at the next alternate even numbers (movies number 4, 6, 8 and 10) are all in mother fucking bloody cantoneese. I hated them all, except maybe number 6, which is called Echoes of the Rainbow, a lovely tale and a very very cute guy, okay, in fact there were a bunch of cute male extras in male school uniforms (perverted bi curious fantasies arising that shall no longer be elaborated) But fact is, I think I am pretty fluent in Cantoneese now. Oh well, you are always learning, it can come from the most unexpected unimaginable way possible.
Then, they were the Thai movies, the first one was cheap, horrible and there is those mic muffler things that are visible on top, how can you portray a bloody emotion if there is a bloody hairy, furry thing on top that looks like the balls of some gigantic gorilla? Next Thai movie incorporates all my personal favourites, a British setting with a little dash of French debonaire, a coming of age plot, indy movie like direction and cinematics, the emo feeling and of course really really hot chicks and dudes except you know, the movie is mainly in Thai. The marathon apparently ends with a personal favorite, The Proposal
If you are reading carefully, you would know what has happened to me already, if not, simply continue on.
So then there was the trivia questions. The first one got half the hall eliminated, the second one got another half eliminated, which left till 15 people after the second question. The third one got another 3 gone and then the 4th question, you can say the semi finals. I got eliminated then. The answer is red and I was wearing red pants, I did not know that answer, was not confident but I should have paid tribute to the red pants. So the significant reminder of my lost of 2,500 or the iPod shuffle is evidenced by what I am wearing on the waist down.
I feel defeated. Sigh. I left after my elimination and called my mom. I knew I would be stuck even longer at Spring since I know my mom will shop and I needed rest fast. So I ditched the Proposal and went shopping and left. Ashik is in the final 8 btw, congrats to him but lets hope he wins the iPod shuffle.
All in all, not bad since I won my mom her birthday present. And I got a nice T-shirt. Another T-shirt to wear to debate... yay me!
Okay guys, I am gonna stop righting here. I have to start preparing for the funeral of my RM2,500 and possibly bracing for the announcement that I need to prepare another one for my iPod shuffle.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Remnants of You
So I am sitting here on the floor
Looking at all the photos I posted around my wall
When I look all the pictures around
Memories came fading by
About all the good times we had
I tried not to cry
Cause you have already left me
for someone else
But I can't help myself
So I needed to vent...
So I grabbed a pen
Tore myself a piece of foolscap
And started writing about all the good times we had
And then I shredded it to pieces just like our romance had
Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna throw away
All these remnants of you
I went downstairs
I grabbed a box
Started tossing all the things you gave me into it
Cause they are nothing but a bunch crap
And your presence should be ridded
All those beautiful pictures of us
About the great times that we had
At the beach, at the park, at the carnival
Are all going in there
Right now, I am right here at the yard
Staring at all the gifts that you gave me
All the things that remind me how I loved you are right before me
I lit a match and set it on fire
Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna burn away
All these remnants of you.
Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn all my pain away
All the frustration dissipate to ashes
Let it burn
Let it burn
All the memories of you
All the love and time I wasted on you
Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
But I know they will still be there
All these remnants of you.
Looking at all the photos I posted around my wall
When I look all the pictures around
Memories came fading by
About all the good times we had
I tried not to cry
Cause you have already left me
for someone else
But I can't help myself
So I needed to vent...
So I grabbed a pen
Tore myself a piece of foolscap
And started writing about all the good times we had
And then I shredded it to pieces just like our romance had
Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna throw away
All these remnants of you
I went downstairs
I grabbed a box
Started tossing all the things you gave me into it
Cause they are nothing but a bunch crap
And your presence should be ridded
All those beautiful pictures of us
About the great times that we had
At the beach, at the park, at the carnival
Are all going in there
Right now, I am right here at the yard
Staring at all the gifts that you gave me
All the things that remind me how I loved you are right before me
I lit a match and set it on fire
Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna burn away
All these remnants of you.
Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn all my pain away
All the frustration dissipate to ashes
Let it burn
Let it burn
All the memories of you
All the love and time I wasted on you
Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
But I know they will still be there
All these remnants of you.
Monday, November 01, 2010
Emo Monday
Rain is pouring down on the street
People rushing with their feet
The cool London sky in ash grey
Emo Monday is here again
A couple is squabbling about life
Cassie is stuck at crossroads
While a puppy stands alone
Without someone to hold
Remnants of his master now gone
But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away.
Feel of dread is every where
Mundane routines begin at this day
Moving in the pessimistic way
Emo Monday please go away
A boy sits on the street looking sad
His favorite jacket is out there somewhere
It is all that is left from him
And he can't bear it to leave him like he did
Emo Monday got to him
But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun will shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away
Please tell me (Please tell me)
Why do Mondays have to be so cruel
Work starts and we all felt like a snooze
Why can't we all be cheerful
And treat Mondays like any other happy day
But I don't let it get to me
That's life as they say
Although I pray the dark sky will go away
And I want the sun to shine bright as day
We all know Emo Monday is here to stay
People rushing with their feet
The cool London sky in ash grey
Emo Monday is here again
A couple is squabbling about life
Cassie is stuck at crossroads
While a puppy stands alone
Without someone to hold
Remnants of his master now gone
But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away.
Feel of dread is every where
Mundane routines begin at this day
Moving in the pessimistic way
Emo Monday please go away
A boy sits on the street looking sad
His favorite jacket is out there somewhere
It is all that is left from him
And he can't bear it to leave him like he did
Emo Monday got to him
But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun will shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away
Please tell me (Please tell me)
Why do Mondays have to be so cruel
Work starts and we all felt like a snooze
Why can't we all be cheerful
And treat Mondays like any other happy day
But I don't let it get to me
That's life as they say
Although I pray the dark sky will go away
And I want the sun to shine bright as day
We all know Emo Monday is here to stay
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