I have always imagined my 21st birthday party to be something extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring that Lady Gaga's next video would somehow pay tribute to said extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring party. Instead I have a low key celebration where the only thing that bears some resemblance to that extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring party is the cake.
I guess my dreams of being a spoiled brat with the awesome party is officially over cause after you turn 21, ie being officially an adult (still not seeing that happening anytime soon), being allowed to vote (i do not give a shit) and get the maximum sentence regardless of any crime you commit (whoop de doo, u looking at a future bitch pussy boy), you are kinda not a spoiled brat anymore.
Other than that, there is the whole age thing going on. You going to be ancient, you going to feel ancient and then also you get that fierce determination to do something big before you turn 25 because after that everything just goes into stagnant shit mode.
Well, I guess I did something "mature" once. Listening to my dad and deciding to spend my birthday with the family instead of arguing with him and debating the advantages of spending my birthday in a debate tournament and the disadvantages of hosting a party at home which I might add, will NEVER happen if I did not say anything. Yes, that is how pathetically cheap and awe-inspiringly insensitive my parents are. You would think that an avid traditional buddhist fanatic and a bimbotic woman who knows the terms "celebration" and "enjoyment" like a christian fanatic knowing every single verse in the bible would think of something as traditional as their son's 21st birthday should be special. If given to them, I would spend the morning cutting some stupid key shaped birthday cake, eating stupid red eggs, giving half of key shaped cake to unappreciative relatives who never eat them because they are old and sugar is like poison to them or something and then given some key that would open to absolutely nothing. Never mind the Porsche, never mind the Mazda RX-8, the Maserati is miles away along with the Mini Countryman, the BMW M3, X6 or the Z convertible are somewhere over the rainbow, forget about the 75' Dodge Viper, forget about anything. That key probably does not even open a lock and even if there is a lock, it would be as lost as an episode of Lost.
To be honest, I cancelled my trip. A trip to debate sure but also a trip to spend nights with friends giggling, partying, gossiping, drinking. A trip to have sex and not needing to worry what happens later. A trip to have absolute fun. And I gave that up for what? A half hearted party? You wanted me to stay so that you can watch me like some Pokemon evolving the minute I turned 21 and you barely made an effort to do so to celebrate that occasion? Being disappointed is an understatement, heck being murderously furious would be an understatement right now.
I am already very unhappy that some of my close friends would not be around to celebrate this occasion with me because apparently debating is more important that someone's birthday, more specifically mine! Neither any of them who are going, planned a pre celebration for me. NO, its all study this, debate that, all for what? Head into some tournament where only one team will be having some what of a chance to break into octofinals and get eliminated from there? Clinging on to that smidge of hope that they will break only to have it crushed? Yes, I am angry, I am not happy but I do understand the circumstances and I wish them all the best but I still have the right to be pissed. I am OLDER than the Malaysian Debate Open after all. And they are missing my Pokemon evolution and the cake.
Now, my parents are now trying to sabotage my party on what they think is better. My father wants to invite my relatives even though I made it clear that A) it should be a friends only party and B) if he wants to include my relatives that the celebration should be seperate. I do not want the door of my house be some replica of the Berlin Wall or the Great Wall of China. You know what, it is the Great Wall of China. My friends and relatives will be as seperated as the seperation of church and state in the democracy of the United States of America. Not only do I have to speak to both sides of the family running around like some stupid messenger in a frantic motion, my friends would feel more than a bit awkward. And worse is that my dad will go into another of his tirades to satisfy his attention seeking fulfilment or my relatives putting in racist remarks. I practically have a replica of the whole One Malaysia shit going on, all you need is a bunch of whites, blacks and latinos and I pretty much have the whole UN in there! I am sure my friends are open-minded but still its embarassing to be known to come from such an ignorant and isolated background.
Then my mother absolutely surprising need to butt in and just make everything worse only to be blamed and then screamed and go into defense mode. Simple fact is, her opinions just makes things worse. I am alright with her switching the sizes of the cake, I love chocolate anyway but to spray GOLD leafs, GOLD shit all over my cake, to be worried is an understatement. I dunno if my cake is going to look like lady gaga or a cheap tramp ass whore. I dunno if its going to look expensive or look incredibly cheap. I dunno if my cake will live up to my dream and satisfaction of getting my cake right. Then there is the fact that I have to get the front porch cleaned because of the damned grasscutter simply cutting the grass sending blades of weed and grass to the front porch and clogging the drain.
Then there are my brothers that provide nothing but absolute uselessness in helping out. In fact Ryan's impulsiveness would threaten to ruin my party and a sloth would be more active than Darren. Also, I pretty much have absolute zero help. The party is tomorrow night, I am already in tatters and feeling the 'rage' of evolution. I know I have not done this in a long time but I am requesting that You, God to help me in this difficult time of sorrow and torture. I know that some people who keep on praying for You, claiming they are being Your best friend, saying that they can define and express their relationship with You like they are like your BFF or something and saying that being judgmental, hypocritic bitchest that they are, doing whatever shit they condemn doing. I have not been much trouble lately but I need you help right now so yeah, please do help, thank you.
