Big Apple Donuts & Coffee

Big Apple Donuts & Coffee

Wait a minute?

This pic doesn't look like the Big Apple Donuts & Coffee at The Spring doesn't it?

Well, first of all,

I am not as most Kuchingnites bloggers who have such a naviety brain aka SAKAI to blog aout the one at Kuching.

Where idiots like them who gladly wait for an hour just to have six overly priced and not so sweet donuts.

To me, I have dignity and I only have donuts to satisfy my hunger and not cut them into minute pieces so everyone can share and sample the donuts like its a fresh new toilet that everyone visits just to pee.

Seriously, people in Kuching really need to get a life.

Its worse than people photographing cakes at Secret Recipe, Sushi at Sushi King and Fish at Manhattan Fish Market

But not as worse as girls with long silky black hair that takes pictures of the Buttered Chicken Rice at Food & Tea ala bimbo.

So yeah its not at The Spring (gosh, its beginning to sound so... common)

Niu Ze Xui or in direct english translation 'Cow Car Water.'

Its at Ara Damansara, Niu Ze Xui is from Singapore where it has an open air mall concept

I thought it would be humid and hot .

But its actually surprisingly cool and the place is nice too.

Just don't plan to have benches at the side for you to sit on though.

Funny puns/quotes/phrases in my life.

Jenascia: Hey look, Chelsea is rubbing Ashley sun lotion
Rachel : So?
Jenascia: They aren't a couple, isn't that a boyfriend-girlfriend thing
Rachel : This just goes to show how new you are on our turf, don't worry, you'll catch up... eventually.

Mika: Alright guys, I will book us a bus and we'll be in Cabo in a few hours
Brendan: Um, Mika? What's a bus? Do we need to check in our luggage or something?
Everyone: You have been spending way too much time with Rachel.

Dalton: If you two never stop hanging out with each other, I am thinking that you guys are a guy couple.
Brendan: But we are a gay couple
Aaron: Yeah, a mistaken gay couple.

Tonya: Everyone is soooo red here.
Brendan: Well, its because of the chinese culture.
Tonya: Care to explain?
Brendan: Well, red is the colour of luck, wealth and prosperity among the chinese. Its because of a legend a long time ago. Um, Tonya are you listening?
Tonya: Huh? Owh sorry, I never realize the asian guys in Chinatown are so dreamy.

Aaron: I am so totally gonna get a cheongsam, cause I know I will look so totally hot!!
Brendan: Um, Aaron, a cheongsam is a dress.
Aaron: Owh. So why are there dudes over there wearing them?

Brendan: Hello Cabo
Rebecca: Hello Cabo beach
Brendan: Hello sun
Rebecca: Hello sand
Brendan: Hello sea
Rebecca: Hello salty air
Brendan: Hello person on jetski
Rebecca: Hello little boy
Brendan: Hello little crab
Rebecca: Hello, Todd giving Lance a blowjob
Brendan: Where?
Rebecca: Sucker

Brendan: Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
Aaron: Its okay, I forgive you if we make out
Brendan:I am NOT that sorry for you okay.

Chelsea: God, why do i feel so depressed, I mean its just a fight.
Rachel: Its okay.
Brendan: We are here for you.
Rachel: Everything is gonna be fine
Brendan: Yeah, nothing like a little Haagen Dazs can't help. Here have some.
Rachel: That's better right?
Chelsea: Yes
Brendan: You know that you guys will make up sooner or later right?
Chelsea: Yes
Rachel: You know that you love Ashley as much as he loves you right?
Chelsea: Yes
Brendan: And you know that you and Ashley had sex right, so that means something doesn't it?
Chelsea: Nice try, you two but it takes a little more than Haagen Dazs and your all so faux sympathy to bring me down to admit it.
Brendan & Rachel: Damn!

Tonya, you are so dead when I find your fucking blog

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not really, cause its very hopeless romantic. Cliche and dumb.The only thing I hate about romance novels. Nothing like this works anymore. Love is something that is based on the foundation of unconditional caring, loyalty and trust. Not to mention continuous sessions of nasty, dirty wild sex. Besides, the love at first sight part is only hormones and sexual urges. It suggests the intention to form a relationship only.

2. Do you eat without brushing your teeth?
Usually I don't but cause I only brush before bed and in the morning but ever since I got that electronic toothbrush brushing has been so much fun so trying to brush as much as I can!!!

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
I have been to lots of places. Lets see there's KL, Sematan, Bau, Kuching (I live there, so what? Its still a place.) Sibu, Miri, Samarahan, Lancau, Betong, Labuan, Limbang, LA, Beverly Hills, Detroit and Milan.
So next, I think it will be... NAMIBIA.

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
That I am actually studying in a prestigious university in san francisco, making nasty wild sex cultural documentaries with my hot blonde girlfriend around the world. While having my own talk show that is more sucessful than Oprah

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
That's way worse than me dude! Of course there are rainbows after the rain. They are used to tie the rain clouds so that it never rains everyday. That's why its called a RAINBOW.

6. Do you like being who you are today?
I love the person I am today. I am fierce, have a great personality and fun. Although I do wish I can be less over-dramatic with a nice body.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Get some mosquito nets and send them to africa. Its only $3 per net so think of the lives, we could save!

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
That sounds desperate so no, I am not a desperate teenager.

9. Would you swim in a vat of chocolate?
Are you crazy? Its unhygenic and makes you gain weight cause who could resist swimming in a vat of chocolate with out sampling some? Besides its messy.

10. Do you wear boxers?
Yes, I love them!!! They are so liberating! What's with Malaysians and briefs anyway.? Get some boxers and liberate it.

11. Which type of cars I love the most?
A yellow porshe convertible with a black top. Built in Ipod and GPS system. AT. Great engine and stuff. With rims that spin and sparkle. Nice comfortable seats made out of eco-friendly materials. Hybrid(duh!). SRS airbags. A slot for starbucks coffee and laptop. A built in PS2 at the back. 4- inch LCD monitors at the front. Owh yeah, and a doggy seat at the back for my lil' Liberty.

12. Which do you prefer from your other half? hug? or a kiss?
Um, can I just be straight forward and say neither, I want wild nasty sex. If not, a hug, more body contact besides we can hug each other for hours cause its so comfy.

13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Pointing out. Cause lets be honest okay, we must not strive for perfection cause it will drive you crazy. We should strive for improvement in our attitudes to make the world a better place plus it never hurts to be better.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Pursuing a dream that's worthwhile.

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Uh, yeah. definitely. Did you see me in Labuan with a trunk full of chocs? Thank god, did not get charged for tax.

16. What kind of electronic device/gadget you own that you like most?
My iPod, Maxt. He keeps me sane.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My PMS. Psychological Menstrual Syndrome. I get all moody at times and then snap at ppl and be a bitch and all. Or maybe even my over-dramatic attitude vcause having a personality is great but having too much of one, well... Owh yeah and me being an airhead all the time. A lot of people ASSUME that I am a snob cause usually I am well, a little far-off if you know what I mean So they make an ASS out of themselves by ASSUMING that and me cause they assume that I am a snob, so they hate me and I get being branded as an ASS for no reason.

18. What makes you feel disappointed?
I am very disappointed when people are just plain rude especially some Malaysians. When they want some thing from you as in a favour of a loan of something personal, they expect you to give it to them like they deserve it or something. And when things don't go their way, they just start cursing you. First of all, its not your stuff so whats with the cursing? Sometimes I cannot believe that I am associated to THOSE type of people. I am so out of their league. God, you are a well-off kid in a middle class family like me but your attitude is worlds apart from mine. This not the Goddamn slums of London or Birmingham where kids learn the world 'fuck' at the age of four. You are in the upper level of society in Kuching not some longkau boy with shit-coloured hair and drives a 'pimped' out Kancil or Kenari and think its some fucking Ford Focus like that stupid Malaysian rip-off called KL drift and probably slurps noodles loudly just to show everyone that they are eating noodles like noodles are some kind of very sacred food or something. Did I mention that I hate people slurping their noodles?

19.What do you not like about your country.
Well, lets start off by why the hell people who do not possess a college degree, or even a high school degree can become a minister? I don't think Malaysia is like USA so why does things like these happen? And more importantly, how come some ministers do not speak proper english? English is important, it is used as a important medium of communication so everybody understands. You can see how poor are they with the stammers that happen like every 3 seconds, and then you compare with Senators Clinton, McCain and Obama. Better yet, compare them with Nelson Mandela or some african politician.

20. If given a chance to be a WWE superstar or diva, name two finishing moves and their names.
Well, I will have a nice roundhouse kick called the Brendzfactor
and then a double arm facebuster called Chic End

I Tag:
Jamie
Luke
Gavin
Rachel
Aaron
Carlos

Like freaking four minutes.

Crazy Craves
God, what is wrong with me?
I have been having a lot of unusual craves lately
And it makes me sick cause I know i just buy those things just for the fun of it.
Lets see, what I have been trying to grab off the shelves lately
There is Power Rangers SPD and Dino Thunder
I want the blue ranger and pink ranger for SPD
Yellow ranger for Dino Thunder
As for Mystic Force, I want the green one.
Then there is the Justice League characters
There is of course the maskless Hawkgirl
then Kyle Rayner
Huntress
Flash
Dr. Light
Zatanna
Wonder Woman
Then there is the fattening Haagen Dazs and chocolates
Underwear, ie thongs and boxers
then suddenly I want loads and loads of clothes.
God can never make up my damn mind
Seriously
I can spend hours choosng between two SIMILAR pairs of jeans
Lawrence, like i said,
even though they are same in design
there is a fine line between
a NAVY jean and a BLUE jean.
And you have to make sure do they look good on me.
It has to be perfect!
The Navy looks ugly but looks great around my ass
The Blue looks hot but makes me look like I got butt implants.
So this is why comparism is important
Only when it comes to outfit

All packed up and ready to go
I am off to Miri and Labuan for, I dunno how long
Cause my dad is somewhat secretive about these things (weirdo)
Why can't I have a normal one that gives me a HP Pavillion Notebook just cause I am going to college
Instead of someone who nags and complains about every single thing in life.
Still can't complain for some travelling
Have fun, alone
Meeting people
All in all, trying to be independant.
Neeways, just spending my last day on the comp
So gotta blog
Of course, camy and maxt are coming.
Which reminds me to charge them up for the trip.
Of course I will upload some pics about my travels
The only problem is I don't have the usb connnector.
Crap.
Neeways, Happy Tree Friends are soooooooo funny.
If you like cute things getting mashed up then you would love it!!!
Watch it, its addictive, better than porn, i say
If you watch to much and become addicted to porn,
You need to watch it before you get stimulated and start making babies

The only reason I work at Food & Tea is pretty simple.

Yes there is only one main reason



I WANT A NEW IPOD!!!

An 8GB iPod.

A Maxt 2.0

Isn't that a good reason enough?

The things I do for my son... sigh

So Many Outfits, So Little Money
Sigh.
There are so many clothes that would look perfect on me.
Where I would stand out in a crowd.
Where I would look totally fabulous
But unfortunately, I have so little $$$.
Oh well, that's life.
I can't find the money to pour all my cash into
Whether its classy, chic and sophisticated like
Ralph Lauren, Levi, Padini Authentic, Esprit and Giordano
or cool and trendy like
The Rock Shop, Cambridge, Chargers, Billabong or Body Glove.
But at least I have raked a few nice ones.
Its sickening to see that soe clothes that would look so terrific on me has been bought by someone so declasse.
Some clothes has that certain je ne sais quoi that I have been looking for
But the price and I don't have that certain je ne sais quoi.
After a year that je ne sais quoi will be gone
Cause it will be last seasons aka bargain materials.
But clothes and seasons come and go.
Its fashion
One day your in, the next day your out.
That's how it is.
So you got me
I have just returned from Kuala Lumpur
Have gone shopping and yes
I learnt new words fro a book.
And am using it to my advantage.
See, reading books can improve your english
So buy a book, students
Or better yet, check my blog
Its free anyway.

Off to Kuala Lumpur
Funny how I said that I would never step foot or even live in that shitty and rude place.
Where people will just run you over and not give a damn
But I know there is nothing for me in Kuching
Nothing that makes me wanna stay.
So its time for a change
A change of scenery.
I don't wanna stay in Kuching
Its too small for me.
Besides I am bored of it.
So lets hope my uni tour will help me make a decison.
I really wanna take on college life now.

I should be in school by now.
I am starting uni in july.
I dunno where to choose.
My dad is pushing me to do shitty things I don't like
Idiots giving idiotic opinions everywhere
Fuck them
I don't give a damn
What goes in, what comes out.
I am sticking to mass comm
My blood is in mass comm
I will do very well in it.
I just dunno really
I know what I want
I know what I need
I know what I love to do.
I know where my heart is
I know this
I know that
But why does my parents waste my fucking time
Always asking me to go engineering or computering
Fuck those two geeky subjects
I don't wanna be a geek
I hate physics and add math
I obviously suck at it
And my mom keeps on hailing engineering like the greeks to Zeus
And berates my Mass Comm like its Hades or sumthin
Dad is also berating, down playing it
I am sick of all this talk
Sometimes I just wanna slap them and kick their arses.
So I am slaving away at Food & Tea till July
Not sure that I am making the right decision or not
But I need to work and try to grow up.
i was at Swinburne this morning
Saw Jamie, Jia Jia, Alex, Jacyln, John and Joon Ching
Jamie, Alex and Joon Ching have the image change.
With their hair resembling the colour of my dog's shit.
4 some reason, golden blonde on asians make their hair look like dog shit.
So I am going for a Swedish Blonde.
And get an expert dye
They probably got a cheap one.
My mom actually said 'My son wanted to enrol into the university'
I was scared, shocked and close to freaking out
I thought its some kind of ploy my parents are pulling
I almost wanted to give her a Sweet Chin Music
Finally, mom realized her mistake
As 4 me
I think swinburne's not for me.

I hate Jay Chou!!!
Damn you Jay Chou!
Damn you
Damn you
Damn you.
Food & Tea plays the same shitty msic everyday
Its always Jay Chou this and Jay Chou that
I am Wang Lee Hom!!!
I am not part of the Jay Chou Family okay
(I will explain why later and its not because I love Wang Lee Hom, Even though I showed my affection towards him at his short concert some years ago. Ah memories, that will last a lifetime.)
But more importantly, its just Wang Lee Hom
I just want to shake hands with him
Not like those boys from RBD, now they are HOT!!!!
I fell in love with their music and them.
If Christian is divorced, single and available, well,
lets just say I will be first in line.
Plus there's the girls from Danity Kane!!!!
Aubrey, Aundrea, Dawn and D.Woods, come to Malaysia!!!
Wait a minute, go to Singapore!!!
I'll fly there!!!!
Shannon is married I think so no go there.
But I love Candice Michelle the most!!!
She is so cool!!
She has been a great inspiration for me
And so is Trish Stratus.
God!
I think I know what to spend on
Get tickets to Wrestlemania 24!!!!

I pity my blog
I have been working so much lately that I have never thought about blogging
All those orders and codes
All those food and drinks to be delivered
All those stupid ppl making a mess out of the table.
Screaming table numbers and bills
The clatter of plastic, glass, ceramic and stainless steel
The chatter of customers, some about stupid unimportant things, some about gossip, some about secret confidances
I hear a snip or two of each conversation
but never have time to listen

See, as waiters, other than being servers, they are also good observers
Especially when they have time to observe.
At those moments are a lot
But not during lunch hours of course
Like yesterday, i was so busy until i dunno where the hell i was.
It took me a moment to realise that i am WORKING in food & tea and not DINING there.
Working with restaurants, observing different types of people
Really give me a fresh, creative outlook.
Watching the world go by
With people hustlin and bustlin in their vehicles, zooming past
While the customers just sit around and enjoy their time
Having different types of delicious dishes offered there.
Meet a few funny people there
And also met a few people that I just wanna fling them through the glass windows.
All in all its just a job
I wanna earn some cash and buy something with it.
I just dunno what yet.

Plkn quotes and catch phrases II (yes there is a part 2)

'Is this chicken or is this fish? I know its tuna but it says 'Ayam Brand'.'
by Brendan Goh

'Party Brendz'
by Mustika Dewi

'The only reason I am so nice to the canteen people is so that I can take more drumsticks'
by Az

'50 bucks just to become an alumni of this camp? I wouldn't join even if they give me 50 bucks to become one.'
by John Lau

'The only reason I go to Betong is to go to the cybercafe and play dota.'
by Ah Liew and Yeo Kian Khai

'The only reason why I joined the Methodist group is that I have more time to shop.'
by Brendan Goh

'At Bau, after you had ur lunch and shower, you sit on the bed. Before your ass warms up the place you are sitting, you get dragged down for another activity.'
by Jee Wen

'Rose? Those people actually drink rose?'
by Brendan Goh

'There's only one reason why we have fried fish everyday. There is a Manhattan Fish Market nearby and we are eating the 'Reject' pile.'
by Brendan Goh

'I ran 3.9km and my whole body is sore, even my asshole. Shitting has never been this painful and difficult'
by Brendan Goh

'So you expect us to pee through a bamboo tube whenever we want to pee?'
by Brendan Goh

'So you expect us to shit in that hole whenever we want to shit?'
by Brendan Goh

'I didn't know that chickens is nature's personal handbags! Look at them, all tied up in newspaper with a handle on top, its so adorable!'
by Brendan Goh

'Are you sure those fried balls they made are not bull's testicles stuffed with onion and sausages?'
by Brendan Goh

'Isn't the dough made for donuts supposed to be white and not orange?'
by Brendan Goh

'No matter how u make those long bean dishes, i will never ever touch them.'
by Kevin Law

'Its very easy to see who gain weight and who lost weight. The ones who lost weight will be very active and involved in almost everything. While the ones who gain will sit there, do nothing but eat canned food and maggi every night and add msg for seasoning on every meal.'
by Brendan Goh

'You know what, Betong is a peaceful town cause there is lottery stallls hanging around.'
by Brendan Goh

Famous Quotes and Catch Phrases from PLKN

'Oh Shit!'
by Brendan Goh

'I am not spoiled! I am just well taken cared of'
by Brendan Goh

'Pintu sudah dibuka, sila keluar dan berambus'
by Cikgu Frank

'Nurul, sila datang ke depan. Dengan itu, saya ingin mengucapkan tahniah kepada Nurul kerana dia telah menang. Tahniah Nurul kerana memenangi... tempat ketiga'
by Cikgu Frank

'Company Alpha is made up of 70% idiots, 28% weak and lazy and 2% sissy'
by someone who is gonna get his ass kicked

'After this, I will never ever touch fried fish again.'
by Lu You Kwong

'The only reason the Malaysian government is putting us in this programme is to watch the Malay fight with the Chinese'
by Ma Yi Zhong

'There are 5 types of animals in this camp. There are humans llike you and me. Then there are the monkeys who play too much and act crazy. Cats are those people who strum the guitar all day and sing out of tune loudly. Racoons are people who always look for a fight and will never hesitate to grab food from others. Finally there are the sloths who never join anything and look like dead bodies'
by Brendan Goh

'Tell her to say wo zai wai mian mai pi gu'
by Chai Li Hsia

'All people who want to be my faux big brother will eventually fall in love with me'
by Carmen Kho

'How the hell do you wash your clothes with your hands? Isn't there supposed to be washing machines?'
by Brendan Goh

'Very good'
by Esther Sia

'Wow, Christina! You really know how to make guys do favours for you'
by Esther Sia

'Lau Gong'
by Noviey

'Go away, I will die when I see your face!'
by Yeo

'Abang, kuku saya patah, bang'
by Jason

'I think Cikgu Frank is deaf as half of the finalist are tone-deaf and bad singers'
by Aaron Ong

'Anjakan saya adalah...'
by Cikgu Mejot

'Apabila saya kata mula...'
by Cikgu Lily

'The only reason people smoke is that they miss sucking cock'
by Brendan Goh

'The only reason I support gay marriage is that I have more women to fuck'
by Brendan Goh

'Back at home, I never had cabbage. Now, I have cabbage everyday.'
by Boon Chau Siang

'Um, where is the nearest Pizza Hut?'
by Brendan Goh

'Its not that I think sago worms taste awful, it's that I don't dare to eat sago worms.'
by Brendan Goh

'Today's fish is not bad huh?'
by Andy Jong

'Wow! I didn't know that you Malaysians are so modern, Incoperating hiphop in your national anthem is so cool.'
by Rachel Stevens

'Vincent is the epitomy of every rich, fat and old gay man's sexual fantasy because he is so lean, slim and fatless.'
by Brendan Goh

'Hah, I am not in the bottom ten but I am in the bottom twenty'
by Brendan Goh

'At the end, Ben and I ran with our lives all the way to the finish line and other people where looking at us like idiots when we passed through'
by Aaron Ong

'Omigosh, your name is Tommy? That's my dog's name.'
by Brendan Goh

'Chou Jie Yi Jia, Wang Yi Yi Ren'
by Brendan Goh

'I don't miss my home, I miss the computer in my home.'
by John Lau

'All 3 Johns are weird. One looks like a dead body, the other is a super villian wannabe and the other swings his underwear in the middle of the night.'
by Ma Yi Zhong

'Brendan, tuna in OIL? That is so fattening'
by Aaron Ong

'Brendan, the reason that we are friends is that you love to be bullied by me.'
by Carmen Kho

'I miss my pork.'
by Brendan Goh

'How do you use a payphone? Wait a minute, what's a payphone?'
by Brendan Goh

'I swear those green blankets are made of moss.'
by Brendan Goh

'Are you sure these square things are edible?'
by Brendan Goh

'The first time I shitted in the camp's toilet is one week after I came here.'
by Malvin Tan

'Shi meh?'
by Malvin Tan

'I love that cat so much that I wanna kidnap it and take it home'
by Malvin Tan

'I thought the flying fox is fun but when I actually rode on it, its nothing.'
by John Lau

'I didn't join anything because all of them are pointless and stupid.'
by John Lau

'The only time when I will smile is when I leave this camp.'
by John Lau

'You call this a bed? The mattress is so thin and the bed is so small! How am I supposed to toss and turn at night?'
by Brendan Goh

'Yes, You went under my underwear! Total world domination.'
by John Wong

'Wow!! I got an sms from Shi Ting!What should I say?'
by Ah Liew

'I started to learn English when I was only three, that time my English so good. But when I was in Primary 6, I don't study English anymore, that's why my English so bad.'
by Ah Liew

'The only reason I have an MSN account is that I can talk to my girl more.'
by Mackenzie Tan

'Brendan, did you know that you screamed so loud on the flying fox that everyone in the hall can hear?'
by Alex Wong

'The rainbow cake you made sucks! Can I have another one?'
by Alex Wong

'I hate the Malay boys here, they eat like they haven't eat in years!'
by Jee Wen

'Why these people love to cut lines? They never had rice before?'
by Brendan Goh

'Excuse me! I don't care that they don't allow me to talk to girls. I do as I wish! If I wanna talk to girls then I go and talk to them. Its not like I am gonna fuck them in the hall.'
by Brendan Goh

'I have never seen so many trees in my life'
by Brendan Goh

'The classes there remind me of kindergarten.'
by almost everyone

'Brendan, did u see a ghost while you were on the flying fox?'
by Cikgu Narok

'No wonder most of the alpha chinese guys are pathetic! They read comics, play chinese chess and bitch about the place like a bunch of grandmas.'
by Brendan Goh

'My grandma can play better volleyball than you!'
by Brendan Goh

'I have finally found breasts larger than Pamela Anderson and it belongs to a guy named Yeo Kian Khai. But the good thing is that his breast is not firm but saggy like and old lady.'
by Brendan Goh

'The only exercise I will do is my dota exercise'
by Yeo Kian Khai

'Brendan, saya panggil kamu untuk guna bahasa Mat Salleh kamu, bukan Mat Kilau!'
by Cikgu Narok

Rock Bottom
This is seriously a down moment of my life
It sucks
Its the worse feeling that I have ever felt
That fact that you never get what you want
The fact that after 2 years of hardwork, sweat, tears, blood and time spent
The fact that my then 14 year old brother has much more of a life than I do
The fact that I toiled hours in my room
And yet, I don't feel accomplished
I don't feel satisfied
I felt... empty, alone and uncontent.
My results are shitty
Average
They are not outstanding like others
And I felt very angry.
However, what's done is done
You grieve and you move on
With cleaning, reading, blogging and cups of tea in between.
When your results are average, you have a cup of tea
Let the aroma of the tea, soothe your unrest spirit
Let it clear your mind and frustration
And allow it to calm you.
It doesn't matter if its English like the English breakfast or Earl Gray
Or the calm Cammomile
Or Rooibos & Vanilla
Or Ceylon
Or Japanesse Seicha
Or Chinese Tea
Or even local Cameron Highlands Tea
Or even the fragrant Jasmine
Or the healthy Green Tea
Just a cup of tea will solve all your problems.
At least that's what teas are supposed to do
I prefer Ice-cream to grieve my soul
But the ice-cream in Kuching is not actually ice cream
its ice confectionary.
Don't believe me?
Read the label at the bottom.
I want some Italian Gelato
I want that goddamn Orange ice-cream with chocolate chips from that New Zealand ice-cream bar with the blue sign
I want Haagen Dazs.
And another thing
Ice cream is fattening so I have to resort to tea
I want some frappacino or arabian mocha
but i guess a soothing cup of cammomile is fine.
I find that I have a less of a temper when drinking tea for some reason

List of ways to kill yourself
1. Jump off a cliff
2. Slit your wrist
3. Run into traffic
4. Drink rat poison
5. Drug overdose
6. Obese for life
7. Ran into a pork processor
8. Smoke ventilation
9. Set yourself on fire
10. Drown yourself
11. Get bitten by something poisonous
12. Go to Iraq and be a suicide bomber
13. Get HIV from a Thai transexual prostitute
14. Get a death sentence
15. Knock yourself silly with a steel rod
16. Stab yourself and run into the sea
17. Jump into a pool of sharks
18. Jump into an animal's den
19. Get electrocuted
20. Stay under a tree when there is a thunder storm
21. Run into a hurricane
22. Starve to death
23. Dehydrate to death
24. Hold your breath and never let go
25. Smoke
26. Run into a chainsaw
27. Be a soldier on the frontlines.
28. Stay under a heavy branch that is about to break
29. Morph into a sandfly and get chopped up by ceiling fans
30. Die on the operating table while having a sex change
31. Get raped to death
32. Get mauled to death by crazy dogs
33. Perovoke a malay and let them beat you senseless
34. Rob a bank
35. Get stung by a stingray
36. Hijack a plane
37. Get engulfed by crocs
38. Ram yourself into a wall
39. Anger a bull or a rhino
40. Lay flat on the floor during a human stampede
41. Go to the antartica naked
42. Climb the most dangerous peak on mount everest
43. Hang yourself
44. Shoot yourself
45. Go under raining glass
46. Set the Chemistry lab on fire
47. Run into a nuclear reactor
48. Bury yourself alive
49. Cut the ropes while u are doing the flying fox
50. Piss of the entire wwe and tna roster

Monotonous conversations
These conversations are very lame, monotonous and dumb.
Not to mention repetitious
Ppl (usually 26 and above) will ask these same stupid questions
year after year after year after every stupid year
Seems like they have Alzheimers or sumthin.
Plus I have the stupid National Service this year
I have to answer more stupid questions

Here are a few examples
A stands for Alzheimers relatives
B stands for me
The brackets signs ( ) represents thoughts

Monotonous Conversation 1
A: Wah, Brendan. You soooooooo big liao ah!!!
B: Um yeah.
A: You grow up so fast hoh!
B: Um yeah. (Isn't that the same meaning?)
A: What are you planning to study?
B: Mass Communications
A: What is that?
B: Its anything related to the field of media that involves communications
A: Oh, what can you be if you take that course?
B: I can be a television producer, an advertiser, a PRO or a journalist
A: Oh, why don't you go to the medical field? Being a doctor is very good. You get to earn a lot of money. Plus as a doctor, you get a lot of respect.
B: (What is it with these chinese people and their affection towards doctors?) Well, I think in the life of the media is more interesting
A: What about engineering?
B: (If its not doctor then it is engineering.) I hate physics and I am not interested in it
A: Aiya, Brendan. These days you cannot follow your dreams one. It is safer to have a nice and stable life.
I was once like you, bla bla bla bla bla... You must take my advice hah.
B: uh-huh. ok. yeah. sure I will take your advice (yeah right)

Monotonous Conversation 2
A: Wah, Brendan. You grow up sop big ah!!!
B: (here we go again). Um yeah
A: Got girlfriend or not? Surely this old got girlfriend one
B: No I don't have 1
A: Got wife?
B: No (rolls eyes)
A: Aiyo, then how can u get married leh? You don't want children meh?
B: No.
A: Its better for you to have kids, afterward when you are old, they will take care of you.

Monotonous Conversation 3
A: Brendan, how is NS
B: Its okay, a little horrible
A: Tough or not?
B: Its okay, you get used to it
A: Aiyo, I pity you, already shoot gun or not?
B: No after chinese new year
A: Shoot gun good, let you experience it
B: I am not shooting the gun
A: Why?
B: Cause I don't want to
A: Oh, ok. I hear you cry boh
B: Yeah, I did
A: Why, did people bully you there?
B: No, I cry because they cut my hair
A: Let me see.
B: Okay. (takes off beanie)
A: Not bad leh, hiya, will grow back one lah
B: Ok

Monotonous Conversation 4
A: The food at NS god or not? I hear you eat 6 times a day, must be very the ho mia ho?
B: No the food there is horrible
A: Why so horrible?
B: Because the food is always spicy, there is always fish and the kuih there is weird
A: Oh How?
B: (starts describing the food)
A: Oh, so always Malay food there lah?
B: Sometimes got Indain like Briyani Rice
A: No chinese food ah?
B: No.
A: No pork ah?
B: No pork.
A: Aiyo, how can u live like this, pork very important to us chinese 1 boh!
B: Its okay.

Monotonous Conversation 5
A: So tell me your daily activities
B: (Tells daily activities)
A: The classes like kindergarten one ah? Aiyo, waste taxpayers money only
B: Yeah
A: I thought you weren't allowed to bring handphone?
B: The coaches keep for us
A: Oh, so u can use in the weekend la!
B: Yeah.
A: Not scared got stolen meh?
B: Everybody has their own phone.
A: You better be careful ah!
B: Okay
A: They keep your handphone in a maggi mee cardboard box?
B: Yeah
A: Aiyo, such high quality phone being kept in a place like that, afterward spoiled then you know!

For the past three days, I have been having these conversations with my relatives and people I don't know. Thank you, God that Chinese New Year is celebrated once a year for 3 to 4 days. I cannot stand it if it is celebrated for 15 days consecutively.

Things to bring back to NS
1. CD player
2. CDs
3. Batteries
4. Loads of EXPENSIVE junk foods (beef jerky)
5. Loads of EXPENSIVE chocolates (hersheys, belgian choc and fererro rocher)
6. Loads of Mags!! (New Idea, Harper's Bazaar, Cleo, Seventeen)
7. Sony Ericsson K618i

I lost 3kg!!!!
I lost 3 kg!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, its official!!
I lost 3 kg!!!!
Maybe national service is not bad after all!
Thanks to Carmen's hopefully accurate scale, I now know the truth.
Yeah, i am happy but I think I am going to gain them back
if I don't stop stuffing my face!!!
Anyway, we discussed the god and the bad between 2 camps
Which is my camp (betong) and the Jaclyn's and Jee Wen's camp (bau)
I dunno but both camps have their pros and cons.
So I let God handle this
I don't even wanna think about it
I will just accept whatever's happening.
Anyway, I only got 2 angpaus for today.
Which sucks
Then again, it is the year of the rat
which means bad luck for the horse.

Xin Nian Kuai Le!!!!!
Hey everyone!!!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone who is celebrating out there.
(Okay, that makes me feel like such an alien)
Fireworks were up all night
Actually I don't think I should call those fireworks, explosives seem much more relevant
Although yeah some are actually fireworks that shoot to the sky
Exploding in the air in an array of colours (and smoke)
The one night where I actually don't care that these things are actually polluting the earth and scaring the shit out of my dogs.
But most of the fireworks are just noise, literally
They just explode in a loud bang!
I really think that there were grenades outside or sumthin
Then all that is left is a hole and a smoky fog that really smells.
And I thought the methane produce by my NS roomates are bad
(methane = gas from farting)
And of course lets not forget the angpaus!!!
Not much $$$ this year though
Buncha cheepskates,
Oh well, there is always next year
As usual I will have a lot of fun
However, there will be no Valentines day party this year though
As you know, by the tenth I will be resuming my prison sentece
That's all
xoxo Brendan

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say: Rejoice!
This exerpt (is it called a exerpt?) from the bible has pretty much kept me sane for the past few weeks
Now to all Christians (and pretty much everyone in the world)
knows that the word rejoice means to look the positive in something even though the problems seem impossible.
For example

A You are gona get run over by a car
Bad part:
Oh shit, I am gonna die
Good part:
I will meet with the Lord, its my destiny
If not, at least I can stay in an air-conditioned hospital and eat great hospital food.

B Your parents are picking you up early for CNY
Bad part
Oh SHIT! My parents are gonna drive me like a slave horse as if NS hasen't done that already
Good Part
MSN, Youtube, Myyearbook, Friendster
Plus my big comfy bed!!!!!

As for Malaysians, they think Rejoice is a brand of shampoo
and should not be used in the English Language essay
If you don't believe me?
Just ask my bro

Balls
There is very little time for TV at NS
Obviously with full of activities all day to bore you to death.
Anyway, most of the time is given to those losers who watch football and video zonkers
Which obviously is pointless
Oh yeah did I tell you that there is NO star world, mtv, E! or bbc
Not to mention the movies?
So my life has pretty much ended over there.
I felt like I wanna cry

Anyway, I don't get about people watching soccer
I mean, don't get me wrong
I love to PLAY soccer but I don't like to WATCH it.
See I am a person who TAKES ACTION and not YELL IN FRONT OF THE TV.
Just so you know,
1. They can't hear you
2. They don't care about you
3. They are making a lot of cash
4. They don't even know that Malaysians watch the EPL or La Liga.

The people over there, usually those jungle kids
from some nasty place where they don't even know about msn, blogs or even a COMPUTER
are hollering in front of the screen like a buncha wild animals

Its stupid really
I don't get it with man and balls
But I think I have a theory
Men play balls to show their masculinity and gutso
Its also to search for their inner testosterone that they have lost
Lets look at the stats between me and most football lovers

Exhibit A
Me
I go in front of the stage, say what I feel and have the guts to face a crowd
Them
They holler in a crowd, saying crappy things about you
but when it comes to standing in a stage alone,
You could litterally see that they have no balls at all

Exhibit B
Me
When I like a girl, I ask her out, right in front and then see how it goes from there
Them
They write love letters, ask someone else (usually me) to talk to them or to get their names and phone numbers.
Or even just to look at them
Are they that shy to introduce themselves?
If u like the girl, let her know you and not your friend
Cause some of your friends are oppurtunist
They will snag some for themselves
Another thing girls phone numbers and guys too
are NOT PARTY FAVOURS
Never simply give other people's phone number without their PERMISSION.

There are already two facts.
There are more but these two are the strongest
And these two are enough to make a statement and prove a point.

Ohyeah, I don't like people criticizing football coaches
These people have a job to do
If u have what it takes, write a personal letter to them and issue a challenge
Although usually they have no time for that
Haha
But one day, if an oppurtunity presents itself
I will drag one of those kinds of people to coach and do strategy with a football team.

I am back Bitches!!!!
Oh yeah!!!
Guess who's back
Uh huh
Oh yeah
I am back
I AM BACK
THE RETURN OF BRENDAN GOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!