Departed

Oh...Oh............Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh eh oh oh eh seh oh eh wa
Oh... Oh............ Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh eh oh oh eh seh oh eh wa

I visualize
living in a different place
London, LA, Paris, Sydney
And I know one day
I would be living there
Cause there's nothing here for me

One thing that I would miss
The people who gave me bliss
My circle of friends
Who I can't take with me

I would miss you
I know that I won't be by your side
But though I know it was meant to be
It just sucks that we are departed

I know I would
miss out a lot
And it just sucks to know about that
And even though one day
We would meet again
It would somehow never feel like the same

I would miss all the times
The heartfelt bitching intertwined
All the drama, all the moments
That I am going to leave behind

I would miss you

I know that I won't be by your side

But though I know it was meant to be

It just sucks that we are departed

I know that this is for the best,

I know that these moments would not last

But it does not make me feel better

Cause I wish

That you would be here with me

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I would miss you

I know that I won't be by your side

But though I know it was meant to be

It just sucks that we are departed

Departed

Shit people say in debate

I have said a bunch of crap in debate but obviously none that would exceed my current best, which is

"We would torture these terrorist by feeding them pork and alcohol only''. (Debate on whether torture was a legitimate tool in interrogating terrorist)

Yes, I am a very insensitive and sadistic little bitch.
But when it comes to fun debates like about legalizing prostitution, the 'fun' factor just increases.
And when I mean fun
I mean dirty comments that are down right stupid and hilarious.
Though obviously I do not say any of those following
But the fact that juniors said this, was hilarious

My favorite was this

'Prostitutes earn more than Google, Nike and Starbucks combined'

Other notable quotes are

'By legalizing prostitution, you would have a lot of unwanted pregnancies'

'Swinburne University turning into a sex show' (Don't ask me how or why was it there)

'One person can only be allowed one prostitute as a partner'

'Prostitutes have to attend a workshop and a test'

'Money earn from prostitute can be used to fund schools and other government initiatives'

'I do not want to attend a school funded by prostitutes'

'Legalizing prostitution will cause a severe decrease in the work force because everyone will get STDs'

'The opposition say yes to bribery and no to prostitution'

'Humans have the right to get laid'

'What if the clients are underage?'

'Possibility of fake results on STD test'

Album Review: Femme Fatale by Britney Spears

Yes, you do realize that this review, goes without saying that I did it a little bit faster than the rest of them. Btw, I am reviewing the deluxe edition.

1. Till The World Ends

2. Hold It Against Me

3. Inside Out

4. I Wanna Go

5. How I Roll

6. (Drop Dead) Beautiful

7. Seal It With a Kiss

8. Big Fat Bass

9. Trouble For Me

10. Trip To Your Heart

11. Gasoline

12. Criminal

13. Up n' Down

14. He About to Lose Me

15. Selfish

16. Don't Keep Me Waiting

Notable Songs: Till The World Ends, Hold It Against Me, Inside Out, Gasoline.

The Good: Production was absolutely fantastic in this album. The beats, the music and the overall presentation sounds like a clubbers haven. Its definitely a joy to play this full blast in my car. Enjoying every minute of it while crusing down the street listening to it. Heck, I even curse less when people cut me off or drive very irresponsibly. I love some of the weird songs in there like 'How I Roll', 'Criminal' and 'Trip to Your Heart', they definitely serve some notable singles and the quirkiness of it is much loved.

The Bad: The sad fact is that the album is over worked, it becomes suddenly just myriad of club beats playing with Britney singing along in the background. Kinda sad as Britney does not need all of these production stuff because her vocals are fantastic as it is.

Overall: A disappointment, but still proud, hope we get more of this quirkiness but less of the production value and allow Britney's voice to shine.

Overall: Disappointed at the album but proud of it at the same time.

Rating: 3/5

Redemption... on the verge of an epic fail.

Midterms were a definite killer, both symbolically and literally. There is no denying that everyone has to go through this process of jitters, worry, panic, sweat and hours of studying in some room only to go to the venue and do the test and fuck it up within the span of the duration of the test. Yes, of course there are times that we do well and we are happy about it which may I add the fact that I am rarely about that these days and yes there is no need for me to complain about my midterms as everyone has also gone through the same process but having 3 midterm tests for the past 4 days is taxing and makes me imagine how I had survive two weeks of continuous writing and fretting during my days in high school. However, with the road to redemption being a lot more bumpy than it should be, I pray that the vehicle I chose (which by now I still dunno if its a SUV, sedan, convertible, truck, a piece of junk or a very pimped up piece of junk) will be able to reach my destination. I know that I am in for a fight and I am ready for it but I just hope and pray that I can make it. So anyway, here is what happened.

Contract Law

Contract Law, going in, I had somewhat of a full proof plan. I got the guide, I got the textbook, they work well tremendously. Open book test within a span of one hour, no problem till I hit a little snag with one of the questions, thinking too much obviously, I had realized that I had completely omitted one segment of a question, I managed to finished it but only having to sacrifice my last two questions. The second last was fine, only bad handwriting but the last one with 4 marks, I only managed to scribble somewhat of a sentence. My hands were to put it in an over dramatic fashion, gelatinous for the final 5 minutes. With 30% carrying on this midterm, I was obviously not too happy about fucking this one up. More importantly with said full proof plan being not entirely full proof and the unusual and unpredictable nature of the marking system, I am left begging for a high mark.

Management Accounting for Planning and Control

10 multiple choice questions, 40 choices.Gee such an easy task eh? Its only seven percent too. Doing well meant getting at the very least 8 out of 10 correct but with knowing that I already have 2 questions possibly on the wrong end. I am pretty much very worried. Though I do admit that at the time, the two hour Financial Accounting test would be a much larger priority, since its 15 percent of total grade and 100% absolute torture. It is basically down to the same level as putting some straight, homophobic guy to listen to Justin Bieber on the loop in his car and make sure everyone knows that its blaring of the speakers of his supposedly macho junk car. So yeah, I expect some shortcomings from this but I am worried of the extent of damage this neglect has done.

Financial Accounting

DIE!!!!!!!!!! Going in even the great blessings from Mother Monster, Lady Gaga herself could not prepare me for the nerves and jitters and penultimate suffering that I will receive from this baby. 36 multiple choice where most of them were basically holding a gun and shoot at the target, hoping it strikes. The questions at best were very minutely detailed where I realized that I forgotten most of them even though I knew I read them from somewhere. To add insult to injury,there are another two structured questions for us to tackle.Oh the joy, seeing the question being separated in more segments than a cheapskate with pizza! Sigh, it was always the quiet lecturers that give us the most suffering to endure. Never mind about the jerks, they at least warned you about it. Chan Soon Hua with his every continuous ums and hums which can be a very good drinking game (which could end either with you being shit ass drunk or die from alcohol poisoning) and very sweet natured personality was basically an evil spawn from the depths of hell awaiting to pounce on us unsuspectingly with financial accounting paraphernalia. We knew we were in for a fight but not a  long and arduous battle and certainly not an all out war resulting from a planned preemptive strike but there we were, fighting for our lives. We certainly look like we had been in a war when we come back or getting ass raped or both. Either way, the ink stains on our hands proved it. I practically scrambled in the last 5 minutes, managing to finish my paper, though I do not know the state of well being of my paper, I do know this: I fucked it up. Yes we were all crying, basically, some of my friends did not even finish. I can only imagine the shit we are getting into with other future subjects that are obviously more suffering than this.

Well, its all done now. Time to focus on assignments, time to focus on WSDC, time to have fun and relax. I shall await the time where I get to move away from this godforsaken place to a slightly better and much more livable place. No, I can no longer handle my job as the family doggy  nanny, personal assistant and overall punching bag/slave. I need to be out fast. July seems like an eternity now. Also, starting gym. Also my brothers are practically the most stupid people on earth who have never heard of th term 'manual' and 'photocopy'. As if hell in life is not enough.

Maybe

Maybe we could be together

Be with each other forever

Like two fated lovers

Finally getting each other

Maybe we could end up as friends

Brothers sworn until the end

Wouldn't it funny if it been

That we used to like each other

We could dream as much as we wanted

Coloring the skies the way we liked it

But for me, whatever happens happens

Cause its the way God intended it to be

Maybe are just maybes

Giving endless possibilities

No use fretting about it

But why can't I stop thinking about you

Maybe because I know I love you

And maybe you could love me too

I could kiss you right now

But for now, its nothing but a maybe

Maybe we are like horny teenagers

Publicly kissing to inform other people

That we are passionate lovers

Inseparable practically forever

Maybe our relationship will deepen more

Like shopping together at the grocery store

Debating over Oreo or Chipsmore

And all the petty things that I adore

I don't know if we would fight a lot

I don't know if we would fuck that much

All I know its that I want to give it a shot

But as I said, our fates are left to God

Maybe are just maybes

Giving endless possibilities

No use fretting about it

But why can't I stop thinking about you

Maybe because I know I love you

And you know that you love me too

I could kiss you right now

But for now, its nothing but a maybe

Its just sad that we are never at the same place at the same time

Oh how I wish that you were mine

We make each other feel like we are in cloud nine

But how come God is not so kind 

Dividing us apart with a natural borderline

Maybe are just maybes

Giving endless possibilities

No use fretting about it

But why can't I stop thinking about you

Maybe because I know I love you

And you know that you love me too

The tension is undeniable

I find you irresistible

I could kiss you right now

But for now, its nothing but a maybe

Nothing but a maybe

Reflections of a 21 year old

Yes, another year older, another year wiser, another year spent on figuring out what the heck am I going to do after graduation.
But I let the mood flow, life goes on and what not
But do I feel evolved like a pokemon, certainly not.
In fact, I feel the same, only a lot less bitchier than the 16 year old me

But one thing I do come realize is that
The people make the party
Not the party make the party

I guess I have grown up a bit
I don't argue as much
I am less obsessed
I know what is important in life (I think, you can never be too sure)
I learned to listen from both sides of the story instead of listening only to the one that feels righteous and true
I felt that I am now more appreciative for those who are around and close to me
Kuching sans the bloody fucking Asians who rave on stupidity seems somewhat comfortable now
Like a foreigner finally adjusting to his surroundings, yeah, it takes 21 years to do that
London is home like in 3 days, Australia is familiar in a week, but 21 years for Kuching
Why?
You know it, I know it, there is only one explanation.

Now, that currently, my plans to be a foreign student seems to be imminent and possible and will occur in a very short time.
I am scrambling to keep my grades up and also, to spend more time with those I hold dear.
Its like mass producing those moments which makes you appreciate the people in your life
Luckily, I am taking 3 subjects this year
With the fact that I am worrying practically all the time about my future education
The time that I need to spend with friends
And the time needed to spend on ensuring my place in a good university which means focusing on more homework.
I would be very busy now
This blog as usual will still be in my life
But it will be a dear friend that I will visit less due to my current commitments.
As is with it the past year or so
Looks like its time to rally up, kick ass and hope for the best

Turning 21 is a a pain

I have always imagined my 21st birthday party to be something extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring that Lady Gaga's next video would somehow pay tribute to said extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring party. Instead I have a low key celebration where the only thing that bears some resemblance to that extravagant, wild, crazy, awe-inspiring party is the cake.

I guess my dreams of being a spoiled brat with the awesome party is officially over cause after you turn 21, ie being officially an adult (still not seeing that happening anytime soon), being allowed to vote (i do not give a shit) and get the maximum sentence regardless of any crime you commit (whoop de doo, u looking at a future bitch pussy boy), you are kinda not a spoiled brat anymore.

Other than that, there is the whole age thing going on. You going to be ancient, you going to feel ancient and then also you get that fierce determination to do something big before you turn 25 because after that everything just goes into stagnant shit mode.

Well, I guess I did something "mature" once. Listening to my dad and deciding to spend my birthday with the family instead of arguing with him and debating the advantages of spending my birthday in a debate tournament and the disadvantages of hosting a party at home which I might add, will NEVER happen if I did not say anything. Yes, that is how pathetically cheap and awe-inspiringly insensitive my parents are. You would think that an avid traditional buddhist fanatic and a bimbotic woman who knows the terms "celebration" and "enjoyment" like a christian fanatic knowing every single verse in the bible would think of something as traditional as their son's 21st birthday should be special. If given to them, I would spend the morning cutting some stupid key shaped birthday cake, eating stupid red eggs, giving half of key shaped cake to unappreciative relatives who never eat them because they are old and sugar is like poison to them or something and then given some key that would open to absolutely nothing. Never mind the Porsche, never mind the Mazda RX-8, the Maserati is miles away along with the Mini Countryman, the BMW M3, X6 or the Z convertible are somewhere over the rainbow, forget about the 75' Dodge Viper, forget about anything. That key probably does not even open a lock and even if there is a lock, it would be as lost as an episode of Lost.

To be honest, I cancelled my trip. A trip to debate sure but also a trip to spend nights with friends giggling, partying, gossiping, drinking. A trip to have sex and not needing to worry what happens later. A trip to have absolute fun. And I gave that up for what? A half hearted party? You wanted me to stay so that you can watch me like some Pokemon evolving the minute I turned 21 and you barely made an effort to do so to celebrate that occasion? Being disappointed is an understatement, heck being murderously furious would be an understatement right now.

I am already very unhappy that some of my close friends would not be around to celebrate this occasion with me because apparently debating is more important that someone's birthday, more specifically mine! Neither any of them who are going, planned a pre celebration for me. NO, its all study this, debate that, all for what? Head into some tournament where only one team will be having some what of a chance to break into octofinals and get eliminated from there? Clinging on to that smidge of hope that they will break only to have it crushed? Yes, I am angry, I am not happy but I do understand the circumstances and I wish them all the best but I still have the right to be pissed. I am OLDER than the Malaysian Debate Open after all. And they are missing my Pokemon evolution and the cake.

Now, my parents are now trying to sabotage my party on what they think is better. My father wants to invite my relatives even though I made it clear that A) it should be a friends only party and B) if he wants to include my relatives that the celebration should be seperate. I do not want the door of my house be some replica of the Berlin Wall or the Great Wall of China. You know what, it is the Great Wall of China. My friends and relatives will be as seperated as the seperation of church and state in the democracy of the United States of America. Not only do I have to speak to both sides of the family running around like some stupid messenger in a frantic motion, my friends would feel more than a bit awkward. And worse is that my dad will go into another of his tirades to satisfy his attention seeking fulfilment or my relatives putting in racist remarks. I practically have a replica of the whole One Malaysia shit going on, all you need is a bunch of whites, blacks and latinos and I pretty much have the whole UN in there! I am sure my friends are open-minded but still its embarassing to be known to come from such an ignorant and isolated background.

Then my mother absolutely surprising need to butt in and just make everything worse only to be blamed and then screamed and go into defense mode. Simple fact is, her opinions just makes things worse. I am alright with her switching the sizes of the cake, I love chocolate anyway but to spray GOLD leafs, GOLD shit all over my cake, to be worried is an understatement. I dunno if my cake is going to look like lady gaga or a cheap tramp ass whore. I dunno if its going to look expensive or look incredibly cheap. I dunno if my cake will live up to my dream and satisfaction of getting my cake right. Then there is the fact that I have to get the front porch cleaned because of the damned grasscutter simply cutting the grass sending blades of weed and grass to the front porch and clogging the drain.

Then there are my brothers that provide nothing but absolute uselessness in helping out. In fact Ryan's impulsiveness would threaten to ruin my party and a sloth would be more active than Darren. Also, I pretty much have absolute zero help. The party is tomorrow night, I am already in tatters and feeling the 'rage' of evolution. I know I have not done this in a long time but I am requesting that You, God to help me in this difficult time of sorrow and torture. I know that some people who keep on praying for You, claiming they are being Your best friend, saying that they can define and express their relationship with You like they are like your BFF or something and saying that being judgmental, hypocritic bitchest that they are, doing whatever shit they condemn doing. I have not been much trouble lately but I need you help right now so yeah, please do help, thank you.

The Ultimate Fangirl FanFic

Its been in my mind for quite some time but hey, why don't I give it a shot. I have been reading a few online fanfics recently out of curiousity and the fact that I wanna think what else the iPad is good for other than playing games, taking down notes (real test to be put on soon during lecture) and blurt to almost any Apple worshipper who does not have an iPad, that I have an iPad. And yes, I am that bored. Don't get me wrong but my Kindle, cell phone, computer and iPod pretty much already filled any other void that the iPad can fill.

Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, David Henrie, Seungri, Taeyang, TOP, G-Dragon, Daesung, Aaron Carter, Nick Carter, All 25 members of Super Junior, Shinee, Se7en, Rain, Jay Chou, Wang Lee Hom, The men of 90210, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and Glee all gather together, laid down on one knee and proposed to me, somefatselfobsessedchickwithnobrains. I accepted them all, they spend their days cleaning after me, making love to me, shower me with gifts, make me more money and stuff.

The end

Album Review: Science & Faith by the Script

This has been a while, its not because I was really late in buying this album. The reason is that I keep looping the album in the car and I always seem to have somehow forgotten about blogging about this album or when I actually do remember it, it was not the right time, so now finally, I have the time to do so. So now here is the review. The song list are as follows

1. You Won't Feel a Thing
2. For the First Time
3. Nothing
4. Science & Faith
5. If You Ever Come Back
6. Long Gone and Moved On
7. Dead Man Walking
8. This is Love
9. Walk Away
10. Exit Wounds

Notable Songs: Nothing, Science & Faith, Exit Wounds & If You Ever Come Back

The Good: The fact that the songs in the Script can range from a soothing song that calms your nerves, to songs that can make you feel good to songs that you can see yourself making out with someone in your car is just fantastic for my car. No matter what song it plays, it would set the mood straight. If I feel sad, the song comforts me, if I feel pissed, it calms me down. But now from a non psyche standpoint, it really is not much different than the first album in terms of sound, you still hear what you hear from the first album. This can only mean one thing: it justs gets better and better. The lyrics are poetic and the songs by the Script this time do not really drone on like one real long song like the first one. Which is fantastic

You Won't Feel a Thing is a nice song, a sort of intro towards the main content like it is some kind of prequel. I liked it as I felt it was a good taste before dwelling into more deeper 'Scriptness'

For the First Time may be released as a single but it does not stand out for me as it kinds of blends in or gets out shone by the other songs, definitely less catchier than the others.

Nothing is a great standard Script song. I love it because it just reminds me why I liked them.

Science & Faith is my favourite in the album. I love how the lyrics just speak out in relation to well science and faith. I love it so much that its just so romantic. Slightly different than the usual Script's emo tone, but I love it more than usual.

If You Ever Come Back is noted because I find myself connected to the song, post Science & Faith syndrome a maybe but hey, I love it none the less.

Dead Man Walking is a catchy song and somewhat eerie. Definitely a pop out but a subtle one.

This is Love talks about sacrifice and love.

Walk Away is really really catchy and it has that slightly eerieness that's present in Dead Man Walking

Exit Wounds is my personal favourite as it is pretty much the most dramatic song in the album and I know how getting your heart broken feels like and if I ever need something to set my mood, Exit Wounds it is.

The Bad: Its the same old thing, there may be slight variations but nothing much. I also feel that for some reason 10 songs is just not enough. After Exit Wounds, it felt like a cliffhanger for some reason.

Overall: I find it a very enjoyable album to listen to, definitely room for improvement but very enjoyable nontheless, on par with the first album though I do find myself preferring the first one at times.

Rating: Script gets 4 out of 5. Good but not good enough to warrant a huge success from me

Debate future in doubt

To be honest, at first I really liked debating. Not only in the sense of intellectual discussions and the obvious mind blowing realizations that you get into it but also the friends that I have made through debating. Debaters are not just a bunch of people getting into a club and sit in a stuffy room and then talk shit, debaters are also a community of heavy drinkers and interesting life stories that you can listen to tirelessly. It's fun, its great, its fantastic but after I leave Swinburne, I highly doubt that I would continue debating  nor return to it after a hiatus. In fact, I am actually contemplating on retiring debating.

It has come to a point in my life that I ask myself this question: Debating maybe fun but is it something that I would use to its full extent in my future? The answer is no. Unless I am into political science, I highly find much use of it other than arguing with my parents to get myself out of messy situations or proving my points properly. I am a writer at heart, a person who likes to write, who likes to read and convey my feelings through a pen and paper or through a keyboard and a monitor or through the ipad or the keypads on my cell phone who by the way, is currently pursuing an accounts major. Speaking maybe one of my fortes but I'd prefer to write any time of the day.

Next, it has also come to a point where I am need of the feeling to expand my horizons, finding another side of me. The debaters club and its debaters have housed my social needs for the past 3 years. I have made many friends there from book geeks to womanizers where I have become someone's potential groomsmen and someone's enemy. But now, there are other horizons unexplored, other communities that are practically unseen and invisible to me. It is now time for me to weed out another cast of people with the same interests as I have where those interests that I have never explored yet. It feels interesting to do that.

No one can replace the friendships that I have made from Swinburne, especially the debaters. Which makes me highly doubt that I can make close friends from other debaters club. They are just a bunch of really cool people that I don't think other people may be up to par with them. It took me exactly a whole year to finally being able to be comfortable with the debaters. I highly doubt I have that kind of patience anymore. Plus and besides, I kinda miss having a small cast like Entourage or Sex and the City or to a certain extent, Desperate Housewives. The whole Glee cast thing was fun, but I want to have a larger spotlight in my life now.

Well, in the end, lets just say this. Tentatively, it looks like I am heading to MDO and KDO as my last two retirement tour dates.

Chinese is good enough for me

That statement above is the most bloody fucked up sentence in the history if sentences ever created. Bloody fucking Asians of lower class and stupidity would always say these, especially those from Chinese educated mediums. Look, if Chinese is bloody fucking important, everyone in the world would be communicating in Chinese by now. Yes, I know that China is a powerhouse in the international economy but that does not mean that you should drop English in its entirety. Hello, people still trade with the Americans! Do you see the Chinese Yuan as an important currency? You usually trade with the States (USD), the Brits (GBP), the Europeans (Euro) and the Japanese (Yen). If the Yuan is not important you think the Ringgit is? The next most important is probably South Africa (Rand).

Sometimes I don't know whether I should pity or look them in disgust of those certain types. Choosing to focus on one language while neglecting the rest. I don't know if its whether the way they were raised or is it the perception of their deluded mind that English is not an imprtant language. Look don't blame me that the whole world uses English, blame the industrial revolution, blame those explorers who conquer the lands and in turn moulding us into the way that we are now, it was not our fault that everyone speaks English. It is the world as it is today and we have to adapt in order to survive. It just abhors me that why would these people not think for the betterment of themselves.

These bloody Malaysians feel comfortable in their little world, not thinking about their consequences, not thinking about how to better their lives, just living so stagnant and comfortable without a care in the world. When things turn for the worse, they let others to solve their problem, you know why so many young Malaysians these days are bankrupt because they got no balls to settle their debt, if they got into deepshit, just declare bankruptcy and all your problems will be solved, not caring about their rights and obligations. That is a prime example of a bunch of quitters right there.

I do not know why these people are so content with Chinese or their respective mother tongues and not learn their own language. My first language may be English but hey I still learn Chinese, I may hate it when i was a kid and my level of Chinese is not at a very high level but at least I am fluent and able to speak the langauge properly. It is another tool and another advantage for me as well as getting to learn my culture. If there is a fear of not being fluent in Chinese that means that you betray your culture, that is just complete bullshit, in the modern world, loads of people are multilingual yet still appreciate and follow the values of their respective culture. There is not necessarily the need of one culture to be communicated through their own language, other languages are possible too because languages are used to communicate.

Personally I do not know what to do with these people, if you really want to learn, then get out of your comfort zone, I did, why shouldn't they do it too? Complacency is a sin, honestly.

Resolutions

People always make resolutions in the new year, vowing to change themselves and their lifestyle, but as we all know, most people don't keep their resolutions, so I plan to and will not be one of those people. After, a resolution is a promise, a promise to yourself. If you cannot promise yourself, then what good you are to other people? Plus, I hope that I am not a hypocrite which is a recessive gene in both parents and a certain someone who is a dear friend says that I have all the recessive genes of my parents, which is true, I guess. Good god, how the hell am I going to do this...

Resolution 1: CB or MMM

Cut Back or Make More Money or what I would prefer to call, Crappy Budget and Make Me Miserable. So I either save more or earn more money, both requiring some form of sacrifice. MMM, please, MMM, I cannot do CB, goodness gracious god knows what would happen when I see that really really really pretty looking cashmere cardigan from Esprit... But that means taking a part time job... but where? what? and how? Should I do waitering (GOOD GOD NO) or food servicing like starbucks (errr... even though I don't frequently go to Starbucks, but I would like to be anonymous) or shop assisting? Btw, where the hell is a personal shopping job opening when you need one, now THAT I can do.

Resolution 2: Get Healthy, Fit, Sexy, Athletic, a Flat Belly, Flat Ass, Reduce Waist Size to 31 and or below, Skinny thighs and calves, pecs that are absolutely alright for an athlete or well toned person, thin looking face, muscles, etc, anything that looks good with exercise. YES, EXERCISE!

Sign up for a gym membership or work out at home or stuff... Basically I need to get well, yeah, sexy again. I need to bring sexy back. Apparently dancing to Britney in my room is not enough.

Resolution 3: Sing and Dance more!!!!

I realize I don't dance and sing in my room as often as I used to, so yeah, lets do that!

Resolution 4: Cut down on shopping, buy what is necessary

But I need to define necessity though, sigh, basically shop a lot less. Less visiting shops, any kind of shops...

Resolution 5: Go Vegan, Vegetarian, whatever, anything to do with veg and no more red meat, though I need a good dose of protein though, guys need protein right?

I wonder does Kuching sell, Nutrigrain?

Resolution 6: Be more positive and be more enthusiastic, be more ass kissy

But I wonder does that mean, be less me? I dunno, I should be more happy in life and less stressful, apparently stress makes you fat since you dive for chocolate more, I hate stress, screw my mother and the whole drama about overseas application and finances and whatever, only make me even more stress and chocolate craving! I am so going to disown my parents if Ryan gets to spend his whole degree in overseas. I mean do you apply first get accpeted and work the finances later ot you work the finances first apply and then get accepted, would I even get accepted in the first place?

Resolution 7: Drive less, bike more

But I have to learn to ride a bike

Prerequisite Resolution to Resolution 7 also known as Resolution 7(b): Learn to ride a bicycle.

Hah! Eat that Swinburne, I get to be more eco-friendly, lose more weight and do not need to pay for your overpriced parking! HA! But that means I should learn to ride like now and stuff...

Resolution 8: Put a lot less effort in Debating

Yes, my epiphany in the largest shopping mall in the Southern Hemisphere (Chadstone) came to me when I was staring at this gorgeous pair of pink cargo pants in Esprit (which I did not buy as I got too many cargo pants already), and that really pretty orange shirt at Ben Sherman (which I still did not buy because its to expensive) and that pretty looking black tee from Esprit (which I did not buy because the price is slightly unreasonable, actually reasonable also because of fear of my mom bitching about my obsession with plain black T-shirts, I mean seriously like 7 black tees is reasonable right?) and the really nice Japanese inspired hoodie at Rampage (although really cheap and I can buy but I didn't because that would make 5 outerwears that I own which in my mother's world and perception and supposed law of men being minimalist where 90% of closet space should be for women, I would probably get yelled at even though its so pretty and SO JAPAN, well at least I think it is with all the Japanese and Tokyo signage which would pull of as a souvenir from Japan which means people can assume that I went to Japan and people would ask, "OMG, Brendan, you went to Japan TOO?" And then people would call me the Guy who went to Japan.) Anyway, all this NOT shopping made me think, gee golly Brendan, why you don't have a lot of cash, Brendan? Where did they all flew to? Which then ended up in this explanation, I WENT TO DEBATE TOURNAMENTS, all my cash is spent there! So it made me to face this horrible decision, more clothes or a chance to debate with other people or other nations and cultures and travel, it is such a horrible trade off, damn it, I love my clothes so much but that means taking a less active role in debating, so in the end, I decided, what I wear and my future education is more important than meeting people from other countries rather than being stuck in a room, NOT DEBATING but adjudicating. So screw you debaters, I wanna go shopping, though I may go for MDO, but then again not. But it is my 21st birthday, why do I have to turn 21 on the year that I have to be frugal!

Resolution 9: Stay away from any one who has a Macbook, iPad or Samsung Galaxy Tab

It only makes me jealous... very very jealous, should stop admiring what other people have. I should I remember that I come from a poor family that became a middle class/almost rich family, we have come a long way, I should be grateful for that and should work, plus and besides, its better to earn it than get it.

Ok, you think 9 resolutions is enough to keep? I mean is it too much? Should I be like cutting off some of the resolutions? I dunno, oh god, what am I to do if I bite off more than I can chew...

Santa Baby

*Exams season, no time to blog, last paper tomorrow. Current order: fuck up, fuck up, unknown but most likely will be fucking up, depends on how fucked up the assignment is*

Santa Baby,
Slip an iPad under the tree,
For me,
I've been an awful good boy,
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby,
A Macbook Pro too,
13 inches and accesories too,
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight
yeah yeah

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the girls I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you check off my Christmas list

Santa baby,
I want a Blackberry and really that's not many,
I've been an angel all year,
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight,

Santa honey
There's one more thing I really do need,
From the Dean,
To a fully paid scholarship at Yale,
Santa honey,
So hurry down the chimney tonight,

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some decorations bought at 688,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby,
Forgot to mention one little thing,
A nano,
And I do mean from Apple
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

3am

Its 3 am, I couldn't sleep. I dunno what to blame, my loss or the bad bed that is making my back sore right now. But I think the fact is that I am no longer who I am again. Everytime I did something that I thought was right, never came up as I intended it to be.

But simple fact is this, I am pissed off.

But then again, having uncertainty in the future is what I like the most, it gives me the best opportunity to flip. Either as an ally or as an enemy or nothing but a mere neutral party. I am given the freedom to do whatever I want. I guess that I am free enough to get a part time job, or focus on the drama production more. But whatever it is, my loyalties have been diminished. I felt that I am free to do whatever I want. Like a released pro wrestler, I can go to rival organizations, work independent events, retire, become a personality the list goes on and on.

Oh don't worry, I will still continue. But you will definitely see much much less of me, unless there is a matter of importance arising.

Even though I am pissed that I did not get what I want
I know this

I am free to grow.

A little update on my life

Well, I know I have not been spending as much time as I should have in this blog but the fact is that I have quite a lot of drama in my life right now and my life is also preoccupied with a bunch of other priorities that blogging just has to take a step back. I dunno if its good or bad because I know that I blog whenever I get creative, inspirational, sad or angry but mostly sad and angry. So here is a bunch of stuff that is going on in my life right now.

Hairspray, the musical.
Yes, you are looking at a cast member and the playwrite of this musical. Its basically a modern, glee-ish version of the play. Very feel good and what not. People loved it, it got rave reviews and those of us who require a sense of intellect and wit in the play will certainly love the obvious and not so obvious puns and references in it. However, things may end prefectly but I can sure tell you that along the way, there is literal hell to pay. I faced with envy, animousity and even neglect (how can u forget the script writer in the flyer?). I hated the power players there at first but I ended up valuing them, liking them and respecting them as individuals as we all pulled through in the end. I have to say, it was fun putting up a production.

Prom
Yes, I attended prom. It sucked big time. I was pretty pissed off with the layout of the prom. I don't feel like a celebrity and I certainly don't feel like one of the VIPs. Plus the buffet line. I know that everyone is hungry but seriously, there is a thing called a line. There is one line in and one line out. Move in an orderly fashion, not attacking the food! Idiots!We are not chimpanzees, we are human beings! Seriously even refugees at some camp are more orderly than you are. I also saw something absolutely atrocious. Someone stuffed white rice, tomato rice and pasta all into one plate like a pile of carbo haven, godness gracious.

Exams
Looming exams mean one thing, less blogging, go figure.

Professional Life
Professionally I guess I would have to say its heading towards the right direction, getting more creative and intellectual side of things down in the resume. Sports which will be a difficult challenge will also come into play sooner or later. My grades are also probably going to slip this semester, things are getting slightly tougher this semester and I am up for the two VP posts at Debaters Club, simply because of my unconfirmed status in the future, I can't be president.

Personal Life
Romance department is a dud. Its failing its dry. Friends though are abundant, I am having a lot more close friends, I have gained new family members. So my social life is not as pathetic as before, but then again, its not my fault that I got sent to a shit hole of a high school but then again, kinda happy as I find myself appreciating my new cast of friends more.

Potential Doom
Lets just say that there is a sequel in the works, difference is the sequel is I like both the tangible and the intangible. And I can only hope that a repeat is not going to happen, its going to be disastrous for me if it happens.

I wonder if he knows

I wonder if he knows, that no matter what he does, the daisies will keep on popping up

I wonder if he knows, the dog he loves so much has so much love to give... to other people

I wonder if he knows, his dog loves me too

I wonder if he knows, the novelty has passed

I wonder if he knows, not to mess with cats when they are not meant to be touch

I wonder if he knows, this cat is going to give him the love prowl

I wonder if he knows, its time for a little GG

I wonder if he knows, something big is coming up

I want him to know, watch out.

The Digi 24 Hour Movie Marathon

RM2,500 or an ipod shuffle if you just stay for 24 hours cramped inside dark theater, sitting on the supremely uncomfortable synthetic movie theater seat upholstery and make sure you don't curse loudly, have a conversation or closing your eyes for more than 10 seconds.

Sounds easy huh?

Well, it is. If you just stare at the theater screen for like ever, why not?

But then you gotta pay attention, as questions will be asked on the movies that you have watched

That is when we say, shit happens.

Or if you wanted to put it in the terms of a certain Brit afficienado with a high tendency to curse and where the curse words alternate and have their phases where this certain Brit affiicienado has a high tendency to use them, then you would say: KAH NEE NEH (which literally means "motherfucker" in foochow which this certain Brit afficienado currently constantly uses and has only learned about the actual meaning of the word precisely 48 hours ago and is now trying to use the conventional curse word "bollocks'')

Anyway, I ditched the debaters for this. Yes, I have no principles when it comes to money or desperate because I need the cash, look, whatever makes your dick stand or breast erect is fine with me. I need the cash.

I woke up at 6.am., approximately 6 or 7 hours prior to the start of the marathon. Why? Duties first, public speaking competition. Chaos ensued. Thankfully, we prepped well, so even though the delays were horrible, at least we managed to complete within the time frame. But it was almost 11 which is when registration starts.
I was already rushing with Ashik along and met up with Fitria, Tina, Kim Seng and Albert when I learned that I left my disclaimer form at my table lamp. Fuck, so I had to go for another wild goose chase looking for a photocopy machine where Digi thankfully has one. After registering at the last minute, I am in.

My energy was completely drained after entering the theater. Thankfully, a witty, romantic tale of The Time Traveller's Wife set my brain in motion. This is followed by Ip Man, which was really cool to watch. Then came to Pandorum, which was real horrible. Since it is a sci fi thriller.

Then, at the next alternate even numbers (movies number 4, 6, 8 and 10) are all in mother fucking bloody cantoneese. I hated them all, except maybe number 6, which is called Echoes of the Rainbow, a lovely tale and a very very cute guy, okay, in fact there were a bunch of cute male extras in male school uniforms (perverted bi curious fantasies arising that shall no longer be elaborated) But fact is, I think I am pretty fluent in Cantoneese now. Oh well, you are always learning, it can come from the most unexpected unimaginable way possible.

Then, they were the Thai movies, the first one was cheap, horrible and there is those mic muffler things that are visible on top, how can you portray a bloody emotion if there is a bloody hairy, furry thing on top that looks like the balls of some gigantic gorilla? Next Thai movie incorporates all my personal favourites, a British setting with a little dash of French debonaire, a coming of age plot, indy movie like direction and cinematics, the emo feeling and of course really really hot chicks and dudes except you know, the movie is mainly in Thai. The marathon apparently ends with a personal favorite, The Proposal

If you are reading carefully, you would know what has happened to me already, if not, simply continue on.

So then there was the trivia questions. The first one got half the hall eliminated, the second one got another half eliminated, which left till 15 people after the second question. The third one got another 3 gone and then the 4th question, you can say the semi finals. I got eliminated then. The answer is red and I was wearing red pants, I did not know that answer, was not confident but I should have paid tribute to the red pants. So the significant reminder of my lost of 2,500 or the iPod shuffle is evidenced by what I am wearing on the waist down.

I feel defeated. Sigh. I left after my elimination and called my mom. I knew I would be stuck even longer at Spring since I know my mom will shop and I needed rest fast. So I ditched the Proposal and went shopping and left. Ashik is in the final 8 btw, congrats to him but lets hope he wins the iPod shuffle.

All in all, not bad since I won my mom her birthday present. And I got a nice T-shirt. Another T-shirt to wear to debate... yay me!

Okay guys, I am gonna stop righting here. I have to start preparing for the funeral of my RM2,500 and possibly bracing for the announcement that I need to prepare another one for my iPod shuffle.

Remnants of You

So I am sitting here on the floor
Looking at all the photos I posted around my wall
When I look all the pictures around
Memories came fading by
About all the good times we had

I tried not to cry
Cause you have already left me
for someone else
But I can't help myself
So I needed to vent...

So I grabbed a pen
Tore myself a piece of foolscap
And started writing about all the good times we had
And then I shredded it to pieces just like our romance had

Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna throw away
All these remnants of you

I went downstairs
I grabbed a box
Started tossing all the things you gave me into it
Cause they are nothing but a bunch crap
And your presence should be ridded

All those beautiful pictures of us
About the great times that we had
At the beach, at the park, at the carnival
Are all going in there

Right now, I am right here at the yard
Staring at all the gifts that you gave me
All the things that remind me how I loved you are right before me
I lit a match and set it on fire

Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
I wanna burn away
All these remnants of you.

Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn all my pain away
All the frustration dissipate to ashes

Let it burn
Let it burn
All the memories of you
All the love and time I wasted on you

Because you are nothing but a piece of ass
A schmuck who made a serious mistake
But I know they will still be there
All these remnants of you.

Emo Monday

Rain is pouring down on the street
People rushing with their feet
The cool London sky in ash grey
Emo Monday is here again

A couple is squabbling about life
Cassie is stuck at crossroads
While a puppy stands alone
Without someone to hold
Remnants of his master now gone

But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away.

Feel of dread is every where
Mundane routines begin at this day
Moving in the pessimistic way
Emo Monday please go away

A boy sits on the street looking sad
His favorite jacket is out there somewhere
It is all that is left from him
And he can't bear it to leave him like he did
Emo Monday got to him

But I don't let it get to me
I pray the dark sky will go away
I want the sun will shine bright as day
So that Emo Monday can go away

Please tell me (Please tell me)
Why do Mondays have to be so cruel
Work starts and we all felt like a snooze
Why can't we all be cheerful
And treat Mondays like any other happy day

But I don't let it get to me
That's life as they say
Although I pray the dark sky will go away
And I want the sun to shine bright as day
We all know Emo Monday is here to stay

I can't stop cursing.

My mouth is like a hub for profanties. I call it the 'Profinaty Hotel in the Brendan Goh's Mouth'
I just can't help it
It is like everything bad or annoyed that has happened to me
I would just curse
It is such a bad habit
A bad habit that sometimes I don't feel like myself when I not curse.

By the way, do you know that I curse more than 99% of facebook users?
See how nasty my mouth is?
God.
Oh and it's not a phase, the cursing stands
It is just the curse words that rotate amongst themselves.
Crappers...
How am I going to deal with this.