Brendzblog

Forgive and forget
Does it really work?
pretending that everything will be normal
Pretending that nothing has ever happened
Like we were just good friends?
I don't know
It really opened up a large wound in my heart
Calling me an animal sodomist and all

I don't know why that really caused be to go ballistic
Maybe the term
'Straw That Broke The Camel's Back'
is involved
I have been
ignored,
dissed,
teased,
insulted,
underestimated,
discriminated
and
humiliated
for the past 5 years in my high school
I guess you add that up in me
I go nuts
You guys really don't know how much that hurt

After that incident
After following LC's car home
I went to my desk
i took a penknife
Contemplating whether to slash my wrist or not
It may be shocking to you
But its normal for me
And its not the first time
I have been through this a few times already
Luckily, I have a bright future and friends to live for
Unlike Thomas Wilson of 'The Lotus Eater"
I still feel like I should not leave this world
I know if i go this early
I would not be peaceful
my soul will wander and haunt those who haunt me

In the end, I cried myself to sleep
Didn't wake up till about five or six
I wasn't in the mood for anything
After dinner
I went to the fridge and ate a whole box of ice-cream
One of my truest friends is a sweet, fattening substance
that i consume

Usually, at this stage, my gay side usually comes out
Making me think that how great would it be to have a boyfriend
I have seen myself with
Rachel,
Samantha,
Jenascia,
Roxanne
and maybe even
Rebecca
They look safe and secure while lying on my shoulders
Kinda makes me wanna protect them
And I know that they are safe with that smile on their face
I wanted that feeling
To feel safe and secure while lying on a body of a man
A nice older man who is about a few years older
Max 10
I feel that way with Aaron
and vice-versa
But we are only best friends and nothing more
We can kiss each other
but couldn't imagine ourselves having sex with each other

I can't belive I am saying this
But right now
in my life
i need a man
A car
and some space.
This is the first time in my life i wanna feel the shit
how jenny and eric feel about each other
sickening
betcha jenny has lumpy breast of an old lady
and eric's cock is like
3 inches when fully erected