My mom having a blonde moment

I woke up by the sounds of my dearest little brother Ryan, screaming and awaken me in my slumber.
As usual, I get super violent and cranky when I do not get my needed rest.
Sleep for me is not to rest or to sleep
It transports me to another world where I can have fun without people bothering me.
In literal fact, I was living in my dream.
Fuck them, they never seem to stop annoy me from my sleep.
It usually its like this.
By the way, Darren just bangs the door and Ryan just screams

Ryan: LETS GO. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darren: *bang bang* Brendan do this... Brendan do that... Brendan there is a dead bug, I am too much of a wussy chicken to pick it up.

My reply is always the same.

Me: Darren, fuck you.

So anyways back to my story.
I went down the stairs and saw a cracked eg on the table. Odd, I thought, usually there are two plain eggs, soft boiled, in a bowl. I do not like that black stuff on my eggs, eww. I usually prefer poached or omelette but since my mom does not know the word 'poach' to save her life and too busy to make omelettes, half boiled will do. Fully boiled eggs suck unless salted or mixed in kueh chap and PORK.

Mom: Brendan, I put the eggs in the microwave and they exploded except that one so I save it for you.

Me: Gee, mom, you are incredably smart and when I mean smart, I actually mean extremely STUPID.

Mom: What to do? No gas. So I tried to push my luck.

Me: *points to microwave* This is a microwave, not a 4D machine.

Mom: Laughs

Me: *silently adding* Just like the eggs, your 4Ds are the same, failures.