Of friends, Idols and Brendan Goh

Okay, so this is what I pictured in my head

At the time when the American Idol finale starts, I hook up my laptop and sat in front of the TV, holding a somewhat live session of chatting during American Idol, for two nights everyone will be forgetting their test on Marketing, Chemistry, Engineering Math and gather in front of their TV screens watching American Idol cheering for Adam Lambert or Kris Allen. We will all huddle together excitedly, giggling and talking about the performances and happily rooting in a multi-chat-way session.

But this is not the case.

Which sucks and it really hurts my feelings.

None of my friends follow the show.

I say Adam Lambert

They say Who?

I say Kris Allen

They say Who?

When I talk about Kris Allen's rendition of 'Heartless'

They take it in one ear and fart it out through the other.

Honestly, I am really heartbroken.

So heartbroken in fact, that I am actually crying while writing this.

I have almost nothing in common with any of them

and it sucks

Its funny, that how am I able to get along with these people, cause the old me wouldn't even give them five seconds worth of my time and go through it all alone.

I mean appreciate their friendship, companionship and their endearing personalities but they are just that, normal friends

I wouldn't say acquaintances cause I am close to them but not so close that it is considered close, its just normal. I want friends where we have a lot in common, where we all go giggly and excited at things and go all well girly or guyly, I don't care. But at this moment, I have no friends to hang on weekends, I have no friends to do stuff with me, it just sucks. Of course its terribly boring too.

Its not like I have not put any effort, nor did they

But this is one of the things, that at least they should be supportive of it or pretend to like it.

Gosh, I really need to think of my placing here in Swinburne.

Its been one year and I have never formed or been part of a group of close friends

Anderson's GIFC club thing

Adrien and Edina's large group of friends who seems to be in every indy/local food restaurant in Kuching, celebrating this and that.

Jia Jin, Johanna and Yuyun's close bond

Stephanie, Jilly, Chai Hui and Jubilee's ever growing faction of friends which I don't get how the hell they know so many freaking people

Martin and his compatriots.

Guhan and well... Guhan...

Jamie's church of pure rockin and family-ish ness surrounded by Jesus Chirst (Charismatic interpretation)

Then there is Belinda, Siaw Wee and Audrey

I do hang with them, but honestly, I don't feel like a part of the group, don't get me wrong, I am grateful and faithful but I feel a little left out at times

Example: After we visited a teacher's office, they all huddle together and then guess who is left out? Me.

In short, I am jealous. Those people got along because they all have things in common. I am the drifter.

But, hey, I am indifferent, unique, quirky and weird

I make facial expressions when I enter a room full of people cause I need to choose where to sit and I have to scan the room and choose. So, I apologize for making a face but I need to. Its a habit.

Honestly, even if I don't get along, I still know who I am and I am not going to change any part of me. I am bitchy, I am brash, I am rude at times and I call people out on my blog. So what?

I am Brendan Goh, the Cynical Sarcastic God of Blogging.

That's who I am.

Hey, I accept the fact that I might never find any close friends in my life, they have all come and gone

Kindy: Jonathan Teo and Ivan Chiok

Elementary: Forgot, I think none...

High: Andrea Chin

NS: Andy, Malvin, Eugene, Ah Wei, Aaron and John Chee

Swinburne: Still searching

After almost a year, still nothing. This means that I may have to leave the superficial halls of Swinburne and move...

Where? I don't know...