3am

Its 3 am, I couldn't sleep. I dunno what to blame, my loss or the bad bed that is making my back sore right now. But I think the fact is that I am no longer who I am again. Everytime I did something that I thought was right, never came up as I intended it to be.

But simple fact is this, I am pissed off.

But then again, having uncertainty in the future is what I like the most, it gives me the best opportunity to flip. Either as an ally or as an enemy or nothing but a mere neutral party. I am given the freedom to do whatever I want. I guess that I am free enough to get a part time job, or focus on the drama production more. But whatever it is, my loyalties have been diminished. I felt that I am free to do whatever I want. Like a released pro wrestler, I can go to rival organizations, work independent events, retire, become a personality the list goes on and on.

Oh don't worry, I will still continue. But you will definitely see much much less of me, unless there is a matter of importance arising.

Even though I am pissed that I did not get what I want
I know this

I am free to grow.