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Friday, June 26, 2009

Movie Review: Angels and Demons


Tom Hanks


The pope has died and the four potential successors are kidnapped by the Illuminati and will be murdered one by one starting from 8 o clock. When the clock almost reaches midnight, the whole Vatican City will be destroyed along with a part of Rome by a nuclear bomb.

The Good:

You know those descriptive one liners? Well, Angels and Demons get the phrase 'Intricately Mind-Blowing'. A really well played whodunit that keeps everyone on the edge of their seats. The story is portrayed and played very well, much thanks to the part of Dan Brown. Tom Hanks as usual is great in this movie, a very talented actor indeed and I have to say this...


His acting skills in this movie is truly remarkable. Okay, it helps because he plays the caramelango, caramelogo or caramelatte (okay, I was just craving Caffe Nero's Caramellatte). In honesty, he would have scammed me even if he was a former con. Story well portrayed and obviously I get it.

Plus, it also gives everyone a little history lesson on Rome. If you happen to be tested on Roman History, just watch Angels and Demons because most of the time, Tom Hanks walks around like a freaking human encylcopedia.

In a movie that is always mysterious and keeping viewers in suspense, there were a few comedic parts. Vandalism, lol. And no, you don't need to watch the Da Vinci Code in order to get what is going on in Angels and Demons. Two different stories with the same character.

Also, people with limited intelligence find it boring, which means us smart people can have fun watching it without the presence of idiots.

The Bad:

Children should not see this, some of the scenes were downright gruesome and ugly. Makes you cannot sleep.

The length of this movie is pretty long too, you get bored in some parts.


Overall, Angels and Demons is a great movie. However, you should have some form of intelligence to watch it. Angels and Demons is not a movie that tries to make you understand, you have to understand the movie. You have to understand the power of the Catholic religion, the ancestry of Roman culture, how fucking smart these people are compared to idiots like George W Bush. The motives behind each character.

Rating: 4/5

Its a near perfect movie with some botches here and there but overall, its great

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A sense of peace

Lets see by disabling anonymous comments from my blog
I have a sense of peace.
Which, I have to say, its been lovely.
No one is insulting my sanctuary
I feel so happy
For what it's worth
I am studying for my finals now
So yeah, been kind of busy with all the studying
Other than that, I also have to plan my month long solace

Well, during this study week, you can say that my mom is kind of taking advantage of me
Asking me to do all the household chores
I don't mind at all, I am kind of free anyways
Plus I can take a few breaks in between studying.
See, I take my time and study, not nervously cram everything into it
Just remain focused

So now this is my time to tell you all guys, that this might be the last post of this month.
Also, I have been thinking a lot too

Should I continue for my degree in Swinburne?

I think it is best that I pursue my degree somewhere else
Career wise and personal emotions wise
Career wise is that, I don't think Swinburne is able to offer what I need to study in
Personal wise, well the infamous Anderson Lai and infamous cohorts of cyberbullies vs Brendan Goh handicap match is enough to prove it
Plus the childish, high school like atmosphere of Swinburne which I feel.
The environment is also designed to exude a very artificial and stressful aura
I also think Kuching is too old on me anymore
I need to move, a change in life
Lets see if my parents agree or not

Right now I have to focus on my exams
Channel all my energy towards it
However, it seems the study mood in me is already on vacation
Which makes it harder for me to concentrate

In the end, I feel like I have 2 choices to choose from
Public Relations
Architecture (yes, I might have been inspired by my ex who I am no longer in contact with)
Both which are not in Swinburne

However, time will tell.
Ending my post here with a poem
Lets see if you can get a gist of what I am about to do on my next post
Also, I feel free to allow anonymous comments now

Time will tell,
Evening fell,
Set in stone,
Tells the tone.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

WWE Releases Candice Michelle


How can they do THAT?
How can they do THAT?

I cannot believe it
I seriously could not believe
Candice Michelle is my favorite Diva!
How can they do that!

I know that she was suffering from a string of injuries in the past year and a half
But releasing her after she was medically cleared?
I wanted to see HER WRESTLE
You killed my hopes WWE

You know, when I read that she was released, I actually cried for like ever

Oh if you wanna know why I liked her as a wrestler
Check the match below
I am sure you will love it

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Movie Review: Push

Chris Evans, Dakota Fanning, Camilla Belle and Djimon Honsou
A group of psychics, granted various powers when they were born band together to take down a government agency that is using a dangerous drugs that enhances their abilities in hopes of creating an army of super soldiers.
The Good:
Dakota Fanning was absolutely great in this movie! I didn't know she had that much badass emo in her. Real cool. She really can portray someone that is tough on the outside but an actual softie on the inside. Also, her drunk? Absolutely hilarious! I love it. Her acting is so good that I actually feel worried for her in the movies.
The on location Asian setting is real nice, I love how the environments give a nice fresh look instead of the conventional setting of Sci Fi movies aka Manhattan? Gotham?. The special effects in this was amazing. I love the movers especially, because it really reminded me of my Charmed days. Memories, memories.
The Bad:
For some reason it feels like a clone of Heroes for Gods sakes, and I have to say. Moreover, it really is not that memorable. Sure you have all the superpowers and whatever, but none of the plots actually do stand out, other than the drunk Dakota Fanning. Its flashy, its super cool but unfortunately the plot does not pan out. It is a nice concept but the story telling just does not hit it well on being more memorable.
Then you have Chris Evan, who is cute and nice to look at but that is it. I sometimes feel that he just coasts through the movie, like a male model posing through the scenes. Its like having sex with one of those Abercrombie and Fitch guys. They are hot, they are cute, they are incredibly sexy but they do not make you scream in bed. Even if their dicks are like 10 inches long, and thick and juicy.
Plus, Push also receives great competition from Star Trek, Angels and Demons, Fast and Furious 4, Terminator, and the upcoming Transformers to stand out
Overall, Push is just okay. I give mad props to Ms. Fanning for saving this movie into a horrible downward spiral of horrible plotlines. Guys would probably watch this, but since there were no car chases or Hiro Nakamura or anyone pulling off a Sylar. This movie is just short in the memorable and achievment area.
In short, I give Push, 2 out of 5. Nice concept but it really lacks a lot of things that will make it a successful standout in the summer blockbuster movies

Monday, June 15, 2009


Talk to you never.
Anyway, in reference to my previous post
A lot of people tend to think that I am holding a personal grudge thus launching a personal attack at a few people, specifically, Anderson Lai.

First, I shall clarify what my article means
Then I shall address the cyberbullying issue in my blog
My opinion of the need to this and why
And if you want to know what is going on with me and him

Okay, first of all
I think that it is a fun article, totally unbiased, very straight to the point, honest and true
I think that it really pokes fun at couple stereotypes in my life
Be it my parents, relatives or friends
Coming from the third wheel, fifth wheel and other odd numbers that follow
I can sure say that us singletons are obviously a little uncomfortable at how cooey most couples are.
I mean really, if you were single and you were with two friends who happen to bring their boyfriend/ girlfriend along, you tend to feel so left out and lonely or disgusted
and so I decided to poke fun at them, a little wake up call

Now I imagined this post to be funny
People saying how true it is that they do or their friends do that and stuck it out of their faces like a big wake up call.
Now, as you can see unlike Rebecca's imaginative and positive reaction dream, it turns into a cyberbully's haven and a large thorn on my ass.
And now, I am in my English class sitting there typing this shit out like a piece of homework.

Now my turn to address the cyberbullies
For long and long time again, I have already said, I do what I like, I do what I want, this is my blog and you do not have the right to criticise what I say in here
It is my sanctuary and I allow constructive criticism not blatant insults
You better be careful, I can sue you for defamation
Now I don't know who you people are
but I know where this all starts from
So I can literally pin point exactly who is who
Now I may not know it all, but I am sure damn hell good at guessing, a trait that I got from my dad.
You don't know who I am and I am pretty sure you did not read all of my posts or the whole post and then started to attack me with insults which I do not deserve at all

Now first of all, I used Anderson Lai as an example, however, think about it
don't you think, you would do it too?
friends of yours will also do it too?
This does not necessarily point to students, adults too.

Why was Anderson offended by this? I can guess. The post was implied to him, it was not directly at him but it hits him where he hurts because he is doing it himself. That is why he thinks that I am attacking him because he thinks he is the only person in this situation
Well, I am mentioning anyone like him in that same situation, it is open topic. No names, no hints of names, no implications of specific attitudes.

He is not the complete example, there are definitely other people around the world in the same or similar situation as he does.
So to call this as a personal attack, is pure bull, it references to all others in the same situation as he is
He is not the only one in this kind of situation, the world does not revolve around the guy

Plus, it is only proven if I actually mentioned his name
I am seriously asking you cyberbullys to think about it (which I am pretty sure is an activity that you rarely use) and answer this to yourself

Question 1
Was my blog post directly aimed at Anderson Lai only?

Question 2
Is Anderson Lai, the only person to do this kind of act or is there other people just like him?

If both answers are yes, then this is a personal attack

However, the actual answer is no, you can even send it to a lawyer, I dare you. And read it through.

I am pretty sure you don't know who I am, you are just friends from the source of all this fiasco trying to back your friend up when it was not even about him in the first place. Pathetic, I have to say, can't believe my sweet heart actually be kind enough to give you the time of the day

Now, yes, I am rude and brash in my blog, but that is my style, somehow, me cursing is funny.
I also give advice, the punishment part is just for fun.

See? This is all a misunderstanding that was way too overdone.

This is my page, I do not cater to you people, I have my own life.
And I have much better people to cater to
And the fact I have to put an official address is pure bullshit man
Its like I am the Prime Minister or something against the horde of Thai opposition leaders.
What is meant to be a very funny article is now interpreted wrongly into an attack
This semester officialy sucks.
Can't wait for it to be over

Oh btw, if you think that this is an attack towards a specific person
I would kindly ask you to leave my blog

Obviously it has been proven that your level of intelligence is not as high or broad as mine
It has also been proven that you are an Asian that comes from a pure Asian background that cannot take constructive criticism (also you slurp!)
It is also proven that from the comments, your level of English is not as up to standard as mine.
Your beliefs and values are also too out of date and too different from my liberal perspectives.
And you are too stupid, so you call other people stupid.

In the past, yes, if you look at the 2006 posts, those are personal attacks
But if you look from end of 2007 onwards, most of them are not personal attacks
I said most because the only one that is, is the Jilly Tagore scandal, which I am truly out of line and sorry for and it has been deleted.

I feel no guilt for this post, hence it will remain here.
I also am going to say to all you cyberbullies that you suck, hope that you have a nice life and go back to whatever hole you came from.

Also, I shall be removing my chatbox
It just decreases the class of my blog.

And yes, I do mean the Malaysian couples doing the ten acts, nothing wrong right?
Everyone is doing it, what is it mad to be about?
Angry Ang Mo
magazines, they all do this
Mine is just a bit brash, that's all

Its just that you people read too much trashy comics or anime, hole yourselves in DOTA and engage nerdy acts like collecting Gundam Models and type extremely broken English with serious typos that makes me wonder if you skipped Kindergarten and Primary school and then appear at Swinburne at 18 doing Foundation in Business

I am not wrong, you bullys are wrong for being so idiotic in the first place
Nuff said

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Couples... UGH

Now, whenever I hear that my friends are dating or two of my friends suddenly realized their feelings for each other and started to date, I would feel very happy for them, really I do.
However, some of their little antics may cause some discomfort for us normal, lonely and single people, while some are just so cute.
However, if we put up a wire fence and surround Malaysian couples only
A few of them are cute but most of them are




Now, my fellow friends that are in the world of puppy love, I understand
I understand that you need to be with your lover more than with your friends
I understand that you need to show your love to the world
I understand that you need to show to people that you are dating that particular person
But I do not understand why they need to be so fucking corny!
I absolutely hate it
So I compiled a list and chose ten of the worst couple antics EVER.
Honestly, ten is such a small number since I have like 20 ++ here.
Don't worry, I will write down the others
The top ten will have a brief description, suitable punishment for offenders and suggestion that might solve the problem.

10. The not-so-secret secret love affair

Okay, so you know that this guy and this girl are dating. You saw them studying in the library together, you saw them having lunch together, you saw her laughing at his jokes, you also saw him and her together outside the school, holding hands ie the Spring, You saw them being kinda close while at the printing machine in the library but when you saw them, they dispersed as if you have turned the magnets to face on the same side. However, they deny that they are a couple. Even if you told them all scenarios above, took pictures of them and send to your local Gossip Girl and even jeered at the guy when you are out with him at your weekly male bonding session.

What the fuck are these people trying to pull? Either they are way too blind to see the attraction or just plainly too broad-minded. I mean, just admit it okay? Once you are caught and admit it! Its not a secret anymore and yet you still act like a very very pathetic version of James Bond. Jesus.

Grab some whips, leather masks, penis pumps, dildos, chains, lace, ticklers and handcuffs. No, we are not giving them as presents for them to try kinky sex! We are going to use them as objects of scandal, might as well make a not-so-secret secret love affair a little more dramatic and scandalous.

Keep it on the DL or go public. For the public, just go out together and admit that you are a couple, no shame in that. For the ones who want it in the DL or Down Low for those of you who are not as hip as me, study together at a private room, like the 9th floor of Swinburne. Opt to have lunch as far away from campus as possible like Tun Jugah or closer ones where people who know you do not usually go to.For my friends, it would be King Centre or Rasa Rasa or Tabuan Jaya. Lead separate lives in school and go out together during off school hours. Go out less frequently too and keep the romance alive via webcam and IM. If you really miss each other, go out in a group but be sure to keep your hands off each other.

9. The 'I am dating someone but I cannot tell you who she is' line.

He is dating someone, you know that he is dating someone. In his blog, he posted blogs about his 'secret lover'. In his Facebook and Twitter, he posts all these corny love lines with poor English like 'I wILL oWES bE wIT yOU, liek folwer and garss...' (For some reason, the English of pure Asian guys i.e. not me, tends to downgrade by 20%, thus making him more annoying, girls apply too)

Can I say desperate much? Sometimes I have a feeling that the girl is
a) non existent
b) pretends to be dating a girl he likes but is actually not
c) trying to make a girl he likes jealous

Spread a rumour that the girl he is dating is actually a Thai transsexual prostitute from the slums of Bangkok earning 5 bucks per fuck session. Hey, do you think he wants people to think he is dating or even had sex with a woman that has a penis? (unless he likes women with penises)

Either come clean or shut up. Capisce?

8. They post their pictures on Facebook

So he or she uploads an album up on Facebook, dedicating to the person and the lover, preferable entilted '~Love~' or 'Me and HIM' (excuse me, I am not an ah lian whore who yaps LV LV LV LV all day and does not know what it actually means nor do I listen to crappy music, ask my brother, Darren, he knows better). The pictures contain the two of them (DUH). Posing together like a very very cheap wedding portrait. I mean cheap is those tacky wedding clothes but in your tees and jeans inside the flourescent bulb in the changing room of Padini, now that is impoverished. Then they do all the cuddly, puppy love shit and post them for everyone to see (ACK!)

Desperate or something? Eww, eww and EWW! Please, nobody wants to see that, why would they? Who cares! Honestly.

Steal one picture, just one, with the two of them and then hire two look alikes to shoot with, and there you have it - a porno.

I do not mind, but seriously though, take them down. Unless you are married or its a special occasion, then do it. However, do not do it on every special occasion with the same pose, have some variety, switch poses. Like don't always make the guy cover half his face because he is smelling your cheek, for once, you do it.

7. The Human Biographer

She blogs about the guy. Biographs what the girl and the guy are doing. Talks about him, him, him, him, him. Here is an illustration, lets say I and a few friends were thinking of a place to eat, then this girl called LesboBitch intterupts

Brendan: Hey, guys! Lets go to this new restaurant called Little Asia for dinner.

Martin: Cool

LesboBitch: Hey you guys r going to Little Asia kah? oH SO nice you noe. My boyfriend, Ah Douche took me thre, very the romantic de! Aiyo, we wlk thre hah, then ah, he hold me hand ah, then ah, we find this kawaii table at the centre there, hehe. He order the Lamb with papi sauce so nice oH! and dring the wheatgrass jelly tea, so syoik ah, then ah bla bla bla bla bla bla, he so cute u noe, bla bla bla bla

Honestly, we really do not need to know about him, we are not even interested in him, sheesh.


If you like the restaurant then review the restaurant, we do not need you to tell me the stories of you and your boyfriend. We have grandmothers and aunts for that.

6. They JUST have to feed each other.

Oh no, its not just a bite, it has to be the whole FREAKING sundae. I feed you, you feed me.

What is WRONG with you people? You cannot feed yourselves or something? Does your hand instinctively feed someone else instead of yourself? Is your boyfriend fucking disabled? Is he too lazy to eat with his hands? Is he that much of a slob that you have to feed him, so that he won't mess your supremely tacky shirt?

I would like to shoot them, but its against the law, so I guess giving the 'eee, disgusting' and the super disapproving look should do the trick

SHARE, with one spoon or two spoon I don't care. With two straws or one straw, I don't care. But please, feeding people is for babies, young kids who cannot finish their meals, old people and the disabled.

5. In blogs, it is always HIM or HER and not their names

Pretend this is an excerpt from a blog

Today I and HIM went to the cinema. We go and watch this movie called Confessions of Shopholic, so funny arrx... After that I and HIM went to this cute place called the Living Room, so nice worrxx...

HIM this and HIM that, you get the point.

PS: Yes, I know I suck at Ah lian, but please, who wants to master it? It degenrates your brain, its like mentally injecting stupidity into your brain. No thanks, next time, I rack through my frenemies blogs and copy and paste them. That is, if I have the time and the initiative (activated when you seriously pissed me off), but now, as you can see, I am just too lazy.

Seriously honey, your boyfriend is not created from the higher powers of Jesus Christ. God did not tear his piece of flesh and mould it into an Adonis especially for you. Especialy if you boyfriend is butt ugly, then I am really sure that he is so not an Adonis created by God. Even if your boyfriend is an Adonis, he is not for you, sheesh. I am betting he will leave you for the next Naomi Campbell in town.

I don't know, this is tough. I would probably personally ask the person to use names. Much better.

As above.

4. Location, Location, Location

They just had to have their Public Display of Affection (PDA) at all the wrong places. In the library, behind the pillar of Swinburne university, in front of the cafeteria, in front of the subway, at the train station, in the subway, carpark, shopping malls, the checkout counter, the hallways... you get the point. Oh yeah, they just HAVE to recite a wedding vow in front of the train station as if their life is just as dramatic as the Bold and the Beautiful (USA), Hollyoaks (UK) and any boring, predictable, over the top Asian drama shit that you people watch (Asians).

GET A ROOM. Sheesh, unless you are filming for a TV show or a movie, please, leave the PDAs in more appropriate places. I mean if you PDA at the Trevi fountain in Italy, or the Effiel Tower in Paris, Arc De Championed at Paris, basically anywhere in Paris above ground, please go ahead. Now, that is ROMANTIC. The rest are just desperate, cheesy and slutty.

I would prefer to grab them and lock them up in a room but that would be false imprisonment. Oh, I would take a picture of them, label the word 'SLUT' above the photo and spread it through my blog.

Find a romantic place to do it, preferably. Or else do it when no one is watching, preferably a place with no people so that you can sneak a kiss or two.

3. Ridiculous PDAs

There are two kinds, the over the top ones and the not so subtle ones

The over the top ones just feel that it is important to make out overtly in public as if you are shooting a live, open-air porno film. Other than that, they just have to groom each other like a bunch of suburban monkeys, popping out pimples, cutting fingernails and rubbing tummies, you get the point.

The not so subtle ones like to sneak around the school, kissing secretly but just enough for people to see, or having hands on each others back pockets, or just acting coyly around each other or cuddle on the room but there is a window for people to see as if they are actually spying on your love affair.

EWW! Yuck! Please find a room and do your things, preferably with no windows. Gosh, have you people ever thought how uncomfortable other people would feel? Some will think its absolutely disgusting, while some will find it extremely uncomfortable. You don't own public spaces, and the world does not revolve around you, so get a fucking room.

I would prefer for them to be locked up and sent to an island. Maybe I can have Gossip Girl posts these up.

PDA needs to be public but discreet. A quick peck on the lips or a hug is nice. You know just to show that you are a couple but making sure others are cool for your need of a little PDA.

2. Showoffs

They just like to be a bunch of reality TV hams like Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (Watch the Hills people). They just have to make a scene out of everything.

Like on Valentine's day, he decorates his Myvi or Kancil with roses and then serenades his girlfriend and making a scene out of everything just to show how romantic he is. Right romantic, apparently Asians tend to confuse between romantic and tacky, this is supreme tacky.

Are you filming for a new TV show at or something? Please, making a scene means that you are just desperate for attention. And come on, if I were the girl's friend. I would roll my eyes and say 'Are you actually going out with THAT guy?'

Take pictures and let the embarrassment begin, I would love to see how people ridicule his pathetic antics. This is of course to the non Malaysian scene. These backward losers would probably think its romantic... HA!

I would make the actual turn of events private. Have a nice surprise romantic dinner or something, just the two of us and then make a video, some pictures and put it on Facebook.

1. Lame Ass Pet Names

Darling, Dear, Brendzipoo, Bao Bei and whatever in PUBLIC and in CONSISTENTCY.

EWW, especially to Darling. EWWWWWWWWW
Pet names are never cute, they are disgusting and annoying

These people should be burned at the stake or something

Hello? What are real names for?

So yeah, that concludes the top ten most annoying couple acts ever.
Btw, I am thinking of adding video into my blog
Videos of me, talking.
That way I can blog without racking my brains writing and then upload the vids on Facebook, Youtube and Brendzblog.
Any laptop with higher resolution, voice capabilities and low file storage. Cause I record one on my crappy NEC and a mere 30 second vid is like 300 MB. Which is effing large.
Maybe it is time for a new laptop
Am keeping my NEC for work and studies
The new one is purely entertainment.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What's new on Fall.

I am so excited
I am so excited
Cause I know what I am gonna watch during the new Fall 2009 TV Season!!!
Here are some of the shows that I will probably like, a lot!

Cougar Town
Well, first up is this new comedy called Cougar Town starring Courteney Cox (Friends)
She plays this recently divorced woman who is in her 40s
and since that the men her age (those who are single or divorced of course) are going out with younger women, she thoughts that she might try and find a younger man.
Problem is, she has a 17 year old son.
Watch the trailer just to know what is she up to, lol.

Reaction: I LOVE this show, this almost compensates ABC's stupid act of canceling Samantha Who? Which is one of the best comedies, like EVER! DAMN YOU ABC!!! If the trailer is this good, just expect the show to be good too!


This is a combination of Charmed and Desperate Housewives with 3 different women (Desperate Housewives part), getting magical powers (Charmed part)that could change their lives. It stars Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty) and Lindsay Price (Lipstick Jungle).

Reaction: Combining two of my favourite TV shows of all time? ABC, you know how to spoil me! Lol, I love it! I love it! I love it! Lets just hope that it does not get canceled. The acting, the drama, the POWERS! God, I love it! Exciting!

Flash Forward
This one stars Joseph Fiennes and John Cho (Star Trek). ABC hopes that this will be a replacement for Lost when it ends next year. Thank God! I am so lost with Lost, i tell you. So anyway the trailer will tell you the rest.

Reaction: I like it, in sense that I am actually curious, nice plot, I have to say. But is this a one season thing? Or the next season everyone is going to black out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds again?

The Middle
This one stars Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) and Neil Flynn (Scrubs). This is about a woman and her family, in a small town.

Reaction: I like the Kids, lol, they are absolutely hilarious! Neil Flynn got the incoherent, bla bla like, midwestern dad so spot on, lol.

The Forgotten
ABC's version of CSI, about a group of amateur detectives trying to solve old and forgotten cases of murder. They identify the unknown dead bodies and reunite them with their families.

Reaction: It soooo descriptive and vivid in the point of the dead person's view. I like the direction of this is going to.

V is when an alien race comes to Earth and help the Earthlings out, causing the youth to go gaga on them and support them. However, something is up as the aliens are actually using the kids as spies

Reaction: Not one of my favorites as they portray the kids like somekind of mindless drones that endlessly worships the aliens... eww... Hoping it gets canceled

Hank is a show starring Kelsey Grammer where he is this super rich business man. Well, he is super rich until he goes bankrupt. He then moves from New York to Virginia and gets a taste of the real life

Reaction: VERY FUNNY! Kelsey Grammer must have a way with one worded shows, lol. A great replacement for According to Jim.

Anyways! I want you guys to watch the vids and tell me what you think! I hope you guys enjoy them like I did! Can't wait for fall 09!

Friday, June 05, 2009

Why do celebrities have to die in hotels?

Last night I was twittering and then People Magazine reported that David Carradine, who played Bill in the Kill Bill movies has died in a hotel in Thailand while shooting a movie.

Which brings me to ask
Why do celebs have to die in hotels?

Anna Nicole Smith
Heath Ledger
Jimi Hendrix
Some guy from Milli Vanilli (Lip synched loser)
Freddie Prinze
Princess Diana (okay, well she didn't but she left the hotel before she died)

I mean seriously, they view hotels as a glamorous way to die or something?
So that seriously disturbed fans can commit suicide with you or have sex with your already cold dead bodies?
Nobody wants to do that!
Well, almost no one...
I mean its so weird don't you think?
Plus its so troublesome for the paramedics, especially if they have to carry you down from the 28th floor when the elevator breaks down.

I mean look at this if someone writes a letter to a hotel and ask that they commit suicide there:

General Manager,
Ritz Carlton Hotel,
5 June 2009

Dear Sir,

Should I say that hypothetically, that if I were to take an overdose of prescription drugs to your hotel and die there, would my family get to have free benefits from your hotel?

My family which consists of my mom, my dad, my two bastardious brothers and my dogs, Mr. Devilcakes Wugglesbee Goh, Funky Ellen Flora Evergreen Doggy Goh, Lady Classy Liberty of the Kindgom of Liberstire Goh, and Royal Princeston Prestige Pain In The Ass Goh should be able to have free stays in your hotel in perpertuity in the most expensive suite anytime they wish to

All members of my family are to have free gourmet meals until they can stuff your ass full. The facilities available must be free to all members of my family. My dogs must have daily fur wash with the most exotic shampoo in the world, olive oil and eggs for breakfast, daily spa and pampering plus free Jewllery from Cartier.

In return, my death will be made famous in the headlines and everybody gets to see the place that I would die.

I look forward to your reply

Yours sincerely,
Brendan Goh

So lets say that all goes well and they said yes

Brendan Goh
Lorong 10, XXXX
Somewhere in Asia that I am too important to know
10 October 2019

Thank you for your letter.

As per our agreement that if you die in our hotel, we would give you all the requirements stated in your letter dated 5th June 2009

However, since you died and fell off the hotel balcony and landed in front of the main entrance during your stay, we are unfortunately unable to accomodate the agree aforementioned, however we can give your family free buffet tickets whenever they visit.

Since you are dead, we are sending one to your grave and one to your family

Yours sincerely
General Manger of Ritz Carlton, Paris

This is FICTIONAL, laugh at the comical ness though

Monday, June 01, 2009


I am kinda addicted to twittering now
Mini blog posts everyday, lol
It's fun
I kinda wanna try texting to twitter, lol

If you don't know what twitter is
its either
A. You don't have a computer
B. You have been hiding in a cave for the past year or so
C. You are a dummy

Anyway I want you people to follow me

Its at

Now, follow me! I wanna know how many people know my blog!


I Hate people who slurp. Period
This should also really go to my aforementioned island, in one of my past posts
I think it was 3 kinds of people that I cannot stand period
Go look for it.

Anyway, as I said I hate people who slurp
Every time I see people slurp
I will go (in my mind)
"Gee, where your mom raised you? The jungle off Lundu?"

Honestly, slurping is very bad manners
We should not encourage that at all
Its annoying and its disgusting
Eating should be done in silence

I have to say, like smokers who smoke, I dunno how many packets of fags at that conjoining thing place, I really cannot stand people who slurp.
I hate it. Period
My brothers, my friends, my relatives, they all slurp
If you slurp in Britain, I guarantee you would be thrown out of the restaurant and everybody would be looking at you.
That's how proper they are

So some people might say
We are Asians, We like to copy the Japanese
If we slurp, means we are satisfied
Well honey, this is not FUCKING JAPAN
Do we speak Japanese here?
Do we know how to make fermented buckwheat desert?
Do we all go
'Ohio Gozaimazu, bo ku gen Douchebag, pu ki pa ka ma no ko shi shi pu pu?'
Just because you ate a few plates of sushi, a few bowls of instant ramen and hours of shitty bleach, naruto and whatever shit you people watch makes you a full fledged fucking Japanese?

Okay, bottomline

I don't care if you are friend, family, slave, adversary, slut that I fucked a few weeks ago or my personal pet. If you slurp, I am so not inviting you to my wedding and any other major event in my life that involves food. This means, I don't invite you to the official party, but I will invite you to the after party. After party as in where everyone else went home and I went home and am half way brushing my teeth and putting on my egyptian cotton silk pyjamas