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Friday, December 29, 2006

Yearly Reflection
Everybody has ta do this
Its like you can't avoid it.
Like there should be a catchup episode where you reflect on things you done the past year
That's wat i am doing right now

Old school, new class, new teachers, new cast.
Its so real and fresh!
Although we were looking forward to the so-called 'honeymoon' year
There are things that are not so honeymoonish at all.
To all Form 3 kids out there, form 4 is a larger hellhole compared to form 3
Half the class are now seperated.
Some went to transfer, like Zhia Hwa who bounded for Green road and Hui Hua who was romored to be in BL.
Some went to Science 2 and demoted to the "also starring" category like Seh Lin and Patrick
Some stayed on like Andrea, Michelle Lim and Michelle Chung
previous guest stars (Jamie, Liang Jiun, Lee Chin) are now permanent
The last 360 i had was back at kindy
So original cast are now dated back to primary 1
Liong Yew, Andrea, Brigid, Jia Jia and Me
jeremy has returned
teachers went a total 360 with the return of mr edwin who teaches us history.
(he used to teach us art back at form 1)
Tyranny of Helen tan got worse with the implementation of copying model essays
Ramona our malay teacher took advantage and gave us MILE LONG ESSAYS
It took me THREE HOURS to finish copying ONE of her DAMN ESSAYS!!!!!!
Our english teacher Mr Peter Sim was kinder as he gave us to pick and chose
Which we did.

I am striggling badly and I felt that i am suffering.
I could not handle the pressure and thought about suicide
The future was dim for me

I had a disastrous sweet sixteen.
I would like to thank my parents for ruining my life
Two reasons:
1, their cheap food choices
2. The exsistence of Ryan Goh
These two factors foundated to my disastrous plan.
I never failed to pull of a party suceessfully.
Guess there's a first time for everything.
Failed horribly during first exam
Wonder what the future holds
went to that Lee Hom concert
Okay, i guess, not enjoying it.
Jonathan guest starred in my bday an made an appearance on Lee Hom's concert
That's the last time I made contact him

Broke up with Lauren
Devastated Very SAD
Hooked up with Rachel

Failed again
Really clueless
Like Paris Hilton

Suffered horribly in KL
Vomittted, puked and expelled, i ended up feeling groggy
Went to Greece to model
Got on the cover of some magazine on Vogue.
luckily, my sickness has eased.
I had a fun time

Senk Siang Revolution began
(about that time, dunno and dun care)
Talking Trash about honor, respect, blahdy, blahdy blah
Ass KIssing every adult
Turned other prefects to bitches and assholes
Michelle LIm, turned on me
Backstabbed me
Hurt me
broke up with Rachel but dated jenascia

Started blogging

Celcom competition began
Worst time ever
Met Kyo

Celcom ended
liked kyo but never dated
jenascia and I are just friends

C ya Kyo, you sick jerk!
Holidays began
went on extra clsses and got a crystal
went to sweden on a holiday trip

Waiting for my ass to get kicked by teachers!
Went to England and Damai
Spent christmas at United States with the Casa la 7

i suffered a horrible year
the casa la 7 however, gained 23 new members!
Myy life of depression is just in the beginning as next year, i am going to
I felt like i can trust no one anymore
(classmate wise)
my heart is damaged
Nobody wants me in that class
I guess i think i should look into transferring next year.
or laylow for the whole year.

Monday, December 25, 2006

So delicious
Its in every music accessory i oown
Wishing everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Emo much?
I don't know why but brendzsta's emo meter is rising faster a penis erection.
Honestly, i am so moody lately
I felt like crying and stuff ya noe?
Anyway, i am spending christmas at Aaron's pace
Julian, Nick, Lance, Blake, Todd and his previous boyfriend Jesse.
Luckily, Aaron has a large house that fits all of us.
FYI, his parents are in England with his maternal side of the family.
Aaron doesn't wanna go becuz last time he went there, he got it real bad.
Cousins bashed him up
Grandma was sobbing
Grandad told him to get out of his life.
Uncle's ar teasing him
Aunt's talk bad on the dad.
Pretty much everyone in his maternal side are hating him
It was real bad, Aaron got a bloddy lip, black eyes and got a bad cut on the head.
Luckily, no stiches needed.
Aaron was forced to stay in Micheal and Andie's house for the summer
It happened this year.
I was furious with his family
How could a family diss him like this?
Julian actually gave the oldest cousin a bloody lip!
Man, twinkerbell got some mean fist!
Honestly, can't blame them
They are a bunch of conservative losers anyway.
Gosh, really wanna kick their ass!
Aaron was actually removed from their family tree.
He has no paternal side though.
All of them somehow disappeared.

RIght now Aaron and I are alone,
Julian, Nick, Todd, Jesse and Lance are downstairs playing his Xbox, Ps2 and Nintendo wii
Talk about rich
Yes, he is watchin me blogging and i don't mind.
He is gonna get his ps3 and Xbox 360 soon
his mom spoils him
Only childs are sooo lucky!
Especially when he his stinkin rich!
Great he shook my head.
He is standing behind me
Hands wrapped around my neck
Head on my shoulder
Looking at the side of my face like he wanna kiss it
Yeah, yeah go ahead A that's wat best friends are for.

There is chemistry between us
but that chemistry says friends with benefits.
Not telling what kind of benefits
Please i am sooo bored.
Now its time for me to stop blogging
Its TTTKA in Smackdown vs raw 2007
Elimination Chamber
Aaron vs Brendan vs Jesse vs Lance vs Nick vs Blake
with Julian and Todd acting as wwe divas in a bra and panties match as the opening act
They are stripping each other off, lol
That's gonna be fun

Monday, December 18, 2006

Brendan so bored!!!!
I am soooo god damn bored!
There is nothing happening in my life and i am bored
Next year or two weeks later is going to be hell for me
SPM! SPM! Sissy Pathetic Man
My life has come down to one of the most mediocre but crucial moments in my life
Next year, i expect way more tears, torture and horror
I am terrified that i may be stuck here forever!
I WANNA LIVE a life that is where nobody patronizes bi boys
I wanna party in clubs, drive and drink liquor
I wanna have SAFE sex other than my perverted, promiscuous ex-gorlfriend
I wanna meet two people that i have been close to than every single 1 of my classmates combined
In order to get what i want, I must suffer greatly
I know my head will turn to tomato puree by the time SPM is over!
I know that the 17th year of my life is gonna suck
I must prepoare m,yself for the inevitable
I must suceed and prevail
Next year Its TTTKA!!!!!
and i have to be ready.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

He was running faster and faster
his heart was beating like a million times a second
Fear has held him on a very tight grip
choking his very breath
he's breath was harder and louder
each pant was showing more and more that he is exhausted.

He was running and suddenly somethng caught him
the hands were firm, hard and strong
suddenly his back felt muscular abs
the hands that caught his shoulders slid down to his hands
suddenly something wet and warm touched his neck
it was someone's lips

His body tingled around him
The electricity sparked in him
making him feel warm and comfortable
his whole body fell on to the mysterious man like melted butter

"Miss me baby"
he turned around and saw the man but he was masked
who are you???
just someone who knows and loves you for a long time

his hands slid to his crotch
he moaned as he fondled and grope them
next thing he knew, he was sucking the man's cock
and cum spewed into his face
the man disappeared
as he looked around with his cum on his face
he licked the cum that are around his lips and asked
who are you for the second time
just call me the cummer
the voice said

That was Aaron's dream
he told me that the next morning, cum was allover his body
TMI for God's sakes
well, as 4 me nuttin much has happen
well, onna post now

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Do u care???
Read and comment on wat u think of homophobia

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I dont mind what you do... but take time to reflect and think about this post, all judgments aside... do with it what you will.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Going crazeh!!!!
Yeah! You know what, to fucking hell with Kyo!!!!!
I can always find another guy from another country that is more kawai than him!
He told me to 4get about him so let's just 4get about him.
So listen to him!

Now that I am SINGLE and free!
I can do anything I want!
F.Y.I, I am in Sweden now.
I am having soooooooo much fun
I am actually sitting in this internet cafe rite now.
It opens 24/7
So I am right now BLOGGING.
Probably be back on Dec 10.
So let me tell ya guys wat am I doin in Sweden.

First, we are staying at some hotel that is sooo 3 star.
which is fine wit me.
Aaron, Nate and Kenji are mah roomates.
Rachel, Alana, Michelle and Colette are just across the room.
Chris, Mika, Dalton and James are on the left.
While our door is conected to Ashley, Julian, Todd and Chad.
The Twinkerbelles aka Julian and Todd really freaks me out
I mean being a bi-sexual is okay
what really freaks me out is not their umm... femininity
but the MAKEUP
Jesus Christ, they look like a buncha clowns/drag queens.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww (shivers)
And they actually act like REAL women
And honestly, they are more ladylike than other girls
Girls, admit it, those two are the most ladylike girls you have ever seen and can pass better at being wives
Imagine them being wivs to Jerome and Thomas
Gawd, that is ssoooooooo funneh!

I have no objections to homos.
I am just afraid of clowns and drag-queens.
No offense to these two though
they are actually Better and Fun without the makeup
and they can pass as eligible bachelors
Okay, okay! Who the fuck I am kidding!!
They are as faggy as a bunch of drag-queens!

So anyway, we went clubbing, partying and well, clubbing.
We also went shopping
We went to play snowballs and build snowmen and ice-skate.
My ass is literally chilled
I suck at ice skating.
Always and I mean ALWAYS falling HARD on mah fucking ASS!
So neewat we also went to the ice hotel where everything is made of ICE!
Soooo cool.
And then we also went tothis icebar where everything is made of ICE
even the CUPS!!!!
pr short glasses.
Anyway see you guys on Dec10
my last day in Sweden after this I am going to England!
i AM GOING TO TRL to see the premiere of Rachel Steven's new video.
That is sooo cool
Can't wait
See ya

Friday, December 01, 2006

How to mend a broken heart
Well, as we all know that I am heartbroken.
Thanks a lot, Kyo.
I have done a couple of things to heal my heart.
maybe is just puppy love, ya know?
Hopefully someone new pops in or an old flame comes in.
Guy or girl?
Preferably girl but guys are welcome.
Hey, I am a bisexual anyway.
At least I don't date animals okay!

So different people deal with their heartbreaks differently
As a person that loves to try new things, I picked and choose.
So here is method number one: EAT!
I bought some ice-cream six of them actually.
10 bars of those large Tobelerones (love them)
and a few bags of potato chips (I don't know the amount as I dumped a bunch in to the cart thingy)
Watched reruns of Charmed, Desperate Housewives, Will and Grace and Buffy
But even the Power of Three could not vanquish my broken soul.

Method 2:Sports
I swam naked at rachel's beach at her parents beach house
F.Y.I she is staying there too.
It was one weekend only okay.
Yes, I bet she was peeking but I don't think so
This is not the first time she seen me naked.
I have seen her naked too, ya know.
When I was at Miami, Aaron and I were playing soccer.
Even though we laughed and joked and cried, still it doesn't work.

Method 3: SEX
Come on! Two teens in a secluded bech house
There's bound to be magic!
She is such a great teacher even if she is a minute older.
But it did not complete me.

Method 4: Writing music.
I have already wrote 4 songs about Kyo and still cry almost each night
Silently and discreetly.
I think I am going to make a video of it.
But I don't think I can do it.

Method 5: Dance and hang.
Sadly nobody can hang out with me as they are all...

So right now, I am still heartbroken
Still mindlessly playing the ps2 like a zombie
Still watching TV like a mindless zombie
Still reading like a mindless zombie
Still lying around at home like a mindless zombie
Still blogging emotional crap like a desperate housewife
Still crying or tearing like a desperate housewife
Still working out like a mindless zombie
Still going online like a mindless zombie
So basically i am a lost mindless zombie becuz his heart is shattered into little shards
Jeez, I am sooooo Jamie Ding right now
The emotionally crappy bitchy bitch who is also probaly rotting like me like a mindless zombie in this
sad, sad, SAD Holidays
Aren't holidays are supposed to be light-hearted and relaxing with stars are blind playing at the back.
I cannot wait till 2007 and focus on SPM
I cannot wait for December 29th 2007 when the casa la 7 are going to JAPAN, USA and FRANCE
for a triple threat celebration to celebrate every members 17th birthday!!!
Cool huh?
After that I am a high school graduate doing nothing
By that time, I wanna:
learn to drive
learn japanesse
and learn to cook!
After SPM results are out,
Bye, Malaysia and...
HELLO, Japan, USA, Switzerland or Australia!
I cannot wait
I don't want to stay in Malaysia!
IT will be my worst nightmare
Wait, Naional Service is my worst nightmare
No, staying here 4 the rest of my life is my WORST nightmare.
National service is not far behind
Evil Malaysian government who probanly brainwash Malaysian teens to turn them to terrorists or something.
There is no way you are sending me to that hellhole.
No FUCKING way!!!!!