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Friday, May 29, 2009

Thinking of You

When I saw you online on Facebook
I can't help but taking a look

Your have cut your hair again
Short, which I think is my gain

There are so many questions I want to ask you
Yet, I know I shouldn't talk to you

You broke my heart
You took away a part

You opted to be closer to home
Than taking a preview of us in the time that is about to come

I understand
Yet I can't stand

The fact that you are not with me
The fact that inside, I am really lonely

You broke me off back in June
I always thought you come back soon

But you don't
And left me alone


I tried to make you gone but to no avail
But then I moved on but always with a veil

Then you were back, all of a sudden
My heart no longer feels rotten

Its like whenever we are together
We felt like we can be together forever

We talk and we connect
The link we had is so intimate and so hard to dissect

Now here I am, staring at you
Thinking about you

Thinking of what to say
Wondering you ever thought of me during your day

I know its been a while
and you are far away from a thousand miles

But you never talk to me
So what would it be

Shall I let you go to the delete?
Or let you live in my contact sheet?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I wish my mind would shut up, so I am blogging my thoughts.

Brendan Goh's wants (in a spoilt princess voice)
  1. I want my H&M clothes and Topman Long Sleeve Tee OUT!! NOW!! RELEASE IT!!! *mothers always thinking of a way to steal your stuff and keep it for Chinese Fucking New Fucking Year.*
  2. I am thinking of getting a new laptop skin, how does Tottenham Hotspur sound? Since I have Manchester and all plastered on my laptop
  3. Tottenham has a cute pigeon logo, maybe I should ask my aunt and go to Bayswater and get me one as a keychain, and then they will call me "The Boy with the original Tottenham Hotspur keychain"
  4. Money, God. I need money.
  5. Topman stuff, available in Kuching... Nice but afterward everyone will start wearing topman at swinburne... Hmm... Fine, Topman in Penang it is, maybe I can pester Guhan to buy?
  6. Harrods Lollies!!! Ha! That will beat the tiny ones Stephanie and co. had during accounting by a mile! Size does matter, oh and butterscotch lollies suck! Thinking of fruity and weird ones, maybe Pomegranate or Fanta Orange?
  7. The Jelly Bellies! I never tasted them... Regretting now.
  8. Bonbon a la Creme Brulee!!!! Yum!!! All the way from le Paris!!! Well, it is all the way from Paris and is now just down stairs in the fridge! I have thirteen left... shit.
  9. Am wanting more and more raunchy tees
  10. Prada Sunglasses!! Original please, have to have a glamorous image and all.

Brendan's conscience (in a mother's voice)
  1. Study accounting!!
  2. Oh god, quickly finish your assignment, you are far behind!
  3. Stop facebooking and do your accounting or assignment
  4. You will fail accounting if you keep on doing like this
  5. Don't you know that you are far behind in your marketing?
  6. Why are you blogging? You have nothing to blog! Hit the books!
  7. Can you at least leave Restaurant City alone and do your accounting and checking it at half hourly intervals?
  8. Hello? Accounting to Brendan Goh!!!
  9. Anderson is more hardworking than you! Look at him, look at the hours he spends in the library, look at how FOCUSED he is. You should have followed his lead, he is such an inspiration!
  10. Nag Nag Nag, Yap Yap Yap, Something Something Something...

Brendan's plans for future blogpost (in an agent's voice)
  1. The elevator situation is probably one of the best to complain about, seeing that it effects all Swinburnites, you can get more readership into your blog, or at least into Swintalk and get it into your blog.
  2. You should complete the new Casa La 7 episode and link it to your blog, its been in a break for so long, the second season should appear as soon as possible
  3. Your candy from Paris is also a great post it can be entitled "The Boy with the Candy from Paris"
  4. You should blog about your travels in Paris
  5. You should blog about your travels in Oxford
  6. You should blog about Cambridge too
  7. Your conscience has asked me to remind you about marketing and accounting and comparing you with some smart girl named Belinda, I asked her to shut the fuck up, not Belinda, the conscience.
  8. For your next Spotlight segment, I am thinking of Lady Antebellum with their song 'Run to You' or you can go on with Kellie Pickler and V Factory first?
  9. How about the haters post that you promised Chester?
  10. You can also blog about your clothes from London, although I think red Uniqlo pants is still in the laundry.

Brendan's wandering thoughts (the voice that never pays attention
  1. How many of my candy from Paris should I give away?
  2. Oh god, how come my feet are so flaky?
  3. Should I wear full Berskha for tomorrow?
  4. Ouch! I broke my nail!
  5. Hey I am reaching level 19 in Restaurant City!
  6. Should I invite my friends for a poolside barbie at my new summer home when its done?
  7. I should be fine with accounting right?
  8. How can I shut my conscience up?
  9. Hey! Look! Ten cents!
  10. *blank*

Brendan's shopaholic tendencies (Isla Fisher's voice)
  1. I don't have WHITE TEES!!!!!! MUst go BUY!!!!!!!
  2. Ohh, that blue shirt in Esprit... It costs 200 bucks!! Buy for marketing Presentation, I know it will pair oh so well with my Alexander McQueen pants eh oh!!!!!!! I shall be known as the 'Boy with the Awesome Sexy Blue Shirt'
  3. I am so high with Candice Bushnell, Lipstick Jungle or One Fifth Avenue?
  4. Oh, I should go look at those trashy clothing stores in MJC, who knows, I might find a good bargain
  5. Yellow colored Pants!! Ha! Preferably Skinny Jeans!!!!!! I shall be known as "The Boy with the Yellow Pants"
  6. I am so addicted to Grey's Anatomy. Buying the season 5 DVD?
  7. Garnier Eye Roller! But I already have No.7 Anti Fatigue Eye Stick which works wonders!
  8. I want No.7 stuff but its only available in the UK. I shall be known as the face of No.7, even better than 'The Boy with the No.7 cosmetics.'
  9. Shopaholic books!
  10. Oh! Lily Allen's CD! I am so over Taylor Swift now.
Brendan Goh is already known as
  1. The Boy in the Red Pants
  2. The Boy with the White Sunglasses
  3. The Boy with the most Cynically Sarcastic Blog in the World
  4. The Boy in full Berskha
  5. The Boy who has something from Topman
  6. The Boy with the most emotional attitude ever
  7. The Boy in the Pink Pants
  8. The Boy in the White 3/4 Pants
  9. The Boy with the American Accent
  10. The Boy that has a high potential to be the greatest blog ever
Brendan Goh in accounting
  1. Don't forget the posting!
  2. Discount People! Discount!
  3. General Journal is meant for posting all other entries that are not involved in the other journals
  4. Don't forget to explain the general journal
  5. Debtors Subsidiary Ledger and Debtors Control must be of the same amount
  6. Calculator
  7. Should you use blue or black ink? How about Green?
  8. Watch it with the GST
  9. Be calm during test
  10. Never forget pencil box, calculator and wallet

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Spotlight on: Kristinia Debarge

What do you get when you mix Janet Jackson and someone from some 80s RnB group?
You get

Kristinia Debarge

Who btw, is a 1990 baby

Anyways here is a cover of a famous song

You know, where everybody go 'Na na na na, na na na na , hey hey, Goodbye'

Anyways, Ladies and Gentleman

I present you

Kristinia Debarge

Oh make sure you credit me for introducing you to this song


Malaysian Airwaves should bow to someone like me who cannot resist to be new and current, especially with songs!

The song is great, it reminds me a bit of September mixing with a little Paula Abdul.

Anyway, Kristinia Debarge is is my first and current Spotlight segment which will be a part of this blog from now on.

Similar, ok ok, IDENTICAL to Chester's Buzzworthy

More to come soon...



Spotlight introduces new artists in to the foray
Basically giving them their few days of fame before moving on to my next post!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Kris Allen Won!!!!


My predictions so far have almost been spot on:

Brendan Goh's Deposition on Selecting Winners in Past American Idols:

Season 4: Carrie Underwood (correct)
Season 5: Kellie Pickler (Way off)
Season 6: Jordin Sparks (Correct)
Season 7: David Archuleta (Well, he SHOULD have won)
Season 8: Kris Allen (Correct)

I had to pick one...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Of friends, Idols and Brendan Goh

Okay, so this is what I pictured in my head

At the time when the American Idol finale starts, I hook up my laptop and sat in front of the TV, holding a somewhat live session of chatting during American Idol, for two nights everyone will be forgetting their test on Marketing, Chemistry, Engineering Math and gather in front of their TV screens watching American Idol cheering for Adam Lambert or Kris Allen. We will all huddle together excitedly, giggling and talking about the performances and happily rooting in a multi-chat-way session.

But this is not the case.

Which sucks and it really hurts my feelings.

None of my friends follow the show.

I say Adam Lambert

They say Who?

I say Kris Allen

They say Who?

When I talk about Kris Allen's rendition of 'Heartless'

They take it in one ear and fart it out through the other.

Honestly, I am really heartbroken.

So heartbroken in fact, that I am actually crying while writing this.

I have almost nothing in common with any of them

and it sucks

Its funny, that how am I able to get along with these people, cause the old me wouldn't even give them five seconds worth of my time and go through it all alone.

I mean appreciate their friendship, companionship and their endearing personalities but they are just that, normal friends

I wouldn't say acquaintances cause I am close to them but not so close that it is considered close, its just normal. I want friends where we have a lot in common, where we all go giggly and excited at things and go all well girly or guyly, I don't care. But at this moment, I have no friends to hang on weekends, I have no friends to do stuff with me, it just sucks. Of course its terribly boring too.

Its not like I have not put any effort, nor did they

But this is one of the things, that at least they should be supportive of it or pretend to like it.

Gosh, I really need to think of my placing here in Swinburne.

Its been one year and I have never formed or been part of a group of close friends

Anderson's GIFC club thing

Adrien and Edina's large group of friends who seems to be in every indy/local food restaurant in Kuching, celebrating this and that.

Jia Jin, Johanna and Yuyun's close bond

Stephanie, Jilly, Chai Hui and Jubilee's ever growing faction of friends which I don't get how the hell they know so many freaking people

Martin and his compatriots.

Guhan and well... Guhan...

Jamie's church of pure rockin and family-ish ness surrounded by Jesus Chirst (Charismatic interpretation)

Then there is Belinda, Siaw Wee and Audrey

I do hang with them, but honestly, I don't feel like a part of the group, don't get me wrong, I am grateful and faithful but I feel a little left out at times

Example: After we visited a teacher's office, they all huddle together and then guess who is left out? Me.

In short, I am jealous. Those people got along because they all have things in common. I am the drifter.

But, hey, I am indifferent, unique, quirky and weird

I make facial expressions when I enter a room full of people cause I need to choose where to sit and I have to scan the room and choose. So, I apologize for making a face but I need to. Its a habit.

Honestly, even if I don't get along, I still know who I am and I am not going to change any part of me. I am bitchy, I am brash, I am rude at times and I call people out on my blog. So what?

I am Brendan Goh, the Cynical Sarcastic God of Blogging.

That's who I am.

Hey, I accept the fact that I might never find any close friends in my life, they have all come and gone

Kindy: Jonathan Teo and Ivan Chiok

Elementary: Forgot, I think none...

High: Andrea Chin

NS: Andy, Malvin, Eugene, Ah Wei, Aaron and John Chee

Swinburne: Still searching

After almost a year, still nothing. This means that I may have to leave the superficial halls of Swinburne and move...

Where? I don't know...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Oh My God!

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

Oh My God

















Please play the video to understand

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Cheapskate Air

Lady's voice on an intercom

Hello, welcome to Cheapskate Air, the cheapest form of air transport in the world. Allow me to brief you with the safety features and services on board our aircraft.

First, we would like to advise all passengers to buckle up your seatbelt during takeoff and landing for your safety and whenever the seatbelt light is on.

Seatbelts are six dollars.

Please put your bags or suitcases under your seat or the compartments above you

The space under your seats are free but the compartments cost 5 dollars per luggage

It cost an additional twenty cents to lock your compartments to prevent your luggage from falling on your head.

There are also fresh hot towels served by our crew members now, they cost one dollar each.

In case the aircraft suffer from low air pressure, oxygen masks will appear, these are absolutely free.

However, the oxygen for the mask costs an additional $27.67. We take those with the exact amount first.

Please attend to yourself first before attend to others under your care.

In case of an emergency, you might be required to wear life jackets, they cost $25.99 each.

Fasten both sides, the fasteners cost an additional one ringgit and then tighten the jacket.

Please inflate one side of the life jacket first and then inflate the other side when you exit the aircraft.

There are two tubes on the side of your jacket, blow to them if you wish to pump more air into the jacket.

A whistle might come in handy when alerting your rescuers, they cost and additional 2 dollars

There is an LED light that is on the jacket which you can turn on to alert them on your position. It is free, however the battery to operate the lights costs an additional $7.99.

If you want to return the towels, the cost an extra 20 cents but if you want to keep the towels for the duration of your flight, they cost an extra 5.99

There is some in-flight entertainment for you when you enjoy our flight.

To operate the TV, it costs 3 dollars, the remote costs 15 dollars, the headphones cost another 10 dollars while the list of prices for the shows available are listed as below on our pamphlet entitled TV Prices.

We also have in flight meals and drinks available, but for now, we serve you with our complimentary peanuts that costs 20 cents each

The restrooms are to your left, they cost 20 cents to enter and another 20 to exit. While the water needed to utilize will cost another 0ne dollar. The self installed toilet seat requires 30 cents to dismantle and toilet paper will be priced at 99 cents per pack.

Thank you for flying with Cheapskate Airways. Remember we are skinflint, miserable fat cows like you too.

Friday, May 08, 2009

3 Kinds of People that I cannot stand.Period.

There are three types of people that I really cannot stand in this world.
I mean, I don't hate them, God no.
Hate means I care
To put it bluntly

I am indifferent with these types of people and I wish I can gather them into one island, blow it up and let elephants crap, stomp, urinate and whatever on the remnants of their corpses and then I plant sugar cane all over the island whereby they will be harvested and converted into ethanol and provide eco-friendly fuel source available to the whole world, thereby saving the earth from global warming.

It's just like Ashik with gays, except without the explosion, elephants, sugar cane plantation and renewable energy source plan.

So lets start with number 1 shall we...

Bitches who carry fake designer bags.

I don't care if its Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci, Fendi, Prada or whatever. If you buy a fake designer bag, and show it off like a real one, please enter the transportation hub to the aforementioned island.

Honestly, its just a bag, you see men and women in Milan carry the similar, ORIGINAL ones while riding along in their uber cool Vespas. Moreover, honey, you can never fool me. I have ACTUALLY SEEN real designer bags by the row and you can never fool me. I have an eye for detail, both a blessing and a curse if you are in my shoes.

And also, can I ask actually HOW MANY of you people can actually PRONOUNCE the actual name of the brands? Instead of just calling it LV? Hmm?

Also, all these bitches are obviously losers, I mean, come on. You want the spice but you don't want the price? A 200 ringgit and a 2000 ringgit bag MAY look similar, and you MAY fool quite a number of people but once you got exposed, its all gonna crumble down. Don't pose around, get the real thing

Also, if you buy a fake, you know how much bad publicity you can give to a reputable fashion company?

Lets take Louis Vuitton for example. Now when people found out that you can get a similar clone for only a fraction of the price, wow, its good for you. But the fun stops there.

You are INSULTING the brand, you give the brand bad business! Everytime, I see someone with a Louis Vuitton bag, I instantly will think... that is so fake. You make Louis Vuitton synonymous as the word fake bag. Now Louis Vuitton will receive a bad press and reputation in the Asian market. Which means that their Asian Business Initiative will be unsuccessful, which means that the fakes will dominate. Now, even if someone brings a genuine one home, the fashion backward people of Kuching will definitely think its fake. Cause they are so abundant here. Its like you can get anything in your nearest John Lewis or in this case, street market.
Why bother about the price right? Lets all walk as superficial posers with our fake LV bags.

If this is why most Adelaide locals pelt Asians with rotten eggs during Easter, heck, I am gonna dye my hair blonde and put up some blue contacts and join them.

Religious moral judgmental preaching idiots.

These people are usually a bunch of fucking know it alls that are so superficially fake that its clearer than the blue skies of Bora Bora. Now, I believe in the existence of God, I just don't get all these pathetic preaching. Sappy really. Oh God this, Oh God that. Well I am sorry but God is currently trying to save someone from a near-fatal car crash and is too busy to bless your sorry asses for the moment.

Seriously, who are you to judge the way other people live? You think you can do that just because God ask you to spread the word? You think you can do that because you are a loyal follower of God? You think you are pure? Hah. Honestly, I would be thinking of the immense amount of time you people spend in church. What great sin have you done so that you have to ask God and repent it for you?

There was once a Christian book that says that, you may sing all the songs, memorize all the bibles, blinged yourself with christian jewellery, pimped your car into Christian-like tribute, blare your stereos with all the "One Way, Jesus, you are all that I could live for.", attend every single bible study, sermon, mass and youth gathering during your lifetime, but if you are not a good person at heart, then you are not Christian at all.

This points to you, if you don't get it. Oh this does not point to Jamie, LC and their gang, they are really nice people who never judge. *insert smiley emote* I don't do smiley emotes. I HATE THEM when reading people's blogs. They are annoying. See? XD

Speaking of One Way, Jesus, its obviously super emo and Jesus is dead like many many many many many many many many many many years ago, so shouldn't the hardcore people be dead by now?

Oh and don't judge me about my morals. There was an anonymous person who harassed my blog that asks me if I know what is moral. Well, obviously this person must be a Malaysian, so I ask you this. How did you score for your Moral studies? HD? D? C? P?

I bet that no matter what you score or how "loyal" you people are, you all lack one common thing.
PROPER COURTESY. If someone fell down, do you just watch, laugh your ass off or help him out? If someone drops their things, do you just look or help them?


When there is a car accident, do you stop for a while to take a look at the 4 digits conveniently displayed for you or would you move on and let the authorities pass through?

Anonymous Haters

I honestly do not get it
These people come to your blog, insult you and for what purpose is it again?

Is it fun?
Is it cool?
Is it awesome?

I don't care with you are blog content regulating vigilantes or pure haters, you are all the same.


I mean seriously, you put on a pseudonym, and harrass my blog, simple, no?
Asking me to close it down (not happening for... like.... ever)
Saying that I have rage issues, psychological issues, thinking that you are qualified shrinks with Phds in Brendan Goh Psychology that graduated with a Valedictorian title.
Calling me a loser and whatever

What are you people trying to PROVE?
You exist?
Yeah we heard you, so?

Like I said, you come to MY house that I FULLY own and ask me to move out?
Who do you think you are?

Barack Obama?
Queen Elizabeth?
The Dalai Lama?

Its my right to blog, and I blog whatever I want
I did not cross any form of rules that will consider my blog to be illegal
Did I incite racial hate here?
Did I scrutinize the government?
Did I post videos of old men fucking 12 year old boys in here?
So why am I being forced to shut down again?

I do not deserve your hate nor your criticism
Then again, nor do I need it
But I appreciate your care.
I mean you people wake up at 4 in the morning to insult me
I am touched.

You should spread the word to your friends about me.
Just make sure I don't find out who you are, if you are harrassing my blog
I guarentee it will be worse than
Lim May Zhee on KateKira
Xiaxue on Dawn Yang
Donald Trump and Rosie O Donell

If you really hate me, create a hate site
Then send it to me
I wanna see it.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

5 days...

Yeah its been 5 days since I blogged
5 days

A dark shadow forecasting a major castastrophe like a time bomb waiting to explode follows me behind sneakily.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

It says to me

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Leering at me, looking at me, menancing like a jaguar waiting to pounce on its prey

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

It hides behind, follows me

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Like a shadow, always unseen, yet always behind me, making its presence felt...

Tick Tock, Tick Tock...

Paranoia sets in

I turned left

I turned right

The air seems to have gone thinner

I am suffocating!

Sweat trickled from my temple

My armpits start to wet

I screamed at the top of my lungs as two skeletal claws emerged from the black cloak





Run! Brendan, Run.

I blindly searched around weapons to throw at the thing

A knife whizzed pass throw it with ease and stabbed onto the wall

An axe suffered the fate

Potions, did little effect

As small crosses vaporized in front of him without a single touch

My last weapon is...

Cornwell's Guide to Australian Law

Oh shite,

Its my law book...

Oh well

Time to fling it

*black screen pops*

*to be continued*

Law Mid Terms
May 15
Only in G813
Swinburne Sarawak Campus