Click it! You know you want it.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Brendan? Playing Prince of Persia? Yeah right, just a fib!!

Its not.
I am playing Prince of Persia
But I am not touching Sands of Time or the third title, which I forgot.
I am touching the one called Warrior Within
Which is like an almost five year old game.
Lame I know
So how did I become a POP fan as of late?
I mean, come on, RPGs are so not my thing.
With the new POP coming out in PS3, you think that a hardcore gamer like me will get it now

I will usually play 3 kinds of games.
Fighting(Soulcalibur), fighting that involves killing (Mortal Kombat, Dynasty Warriors), and fighting involving a subtle content of softcore pornography (wrestling).
Of course I do play the occasional soccer (Manchester United, thank you)
I used to play Tomb Raider but I got fed up plus my then younger brother who was around 7 or 8 at the time peed on it (not kidding).
Oh yeah, I also play Lego games like Lego Batman, Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones (which sucks just as bad as the latest movie and whatever movie that has Nicholas Cage star as the leading role i.e. Bangkok Dangerous and Ghost Rider. National Treasure is still okay. )
I only play one first person shooter which is Call of Duty, Finest Hour.
Sims games too but I got bored with every single one after a day or so.
I am a big Final Fantasy fan though I only managed to finish Final Fantasy X2 and Grimoire of the Rift.
Racing games are a past love but now I refrain from them because
  1. They contribute to air and noise pollution (okay la, not so la)
  2. They encourage Ah Bengs to create monster junk roaming around the road like some fucking Twisted Metal Competition.

Though I still play Twisted Metal, destroying cheap Ah Beng Cars and racing them is 2 different things
GTA fan, sort of but I only take pleasure of using it to reenact, currently a version of chaos ala Thai or Indian. (Throwing bombs on cars then watch the chain reaction occur). Kotaro Fuma would be proud.
Oh yeah, I love Harvest Moon too but its been a while since I planted vegetables, reared chicken, sheeps and cows and fantasy fucking flirting with the village girls.

No Dota, period.
The game sucks, period
It sucks because I suck and it also sucks because its not interactive at all, period.
It also sucks because my bro will grab MY laptop and then dig himself into a hole somewhere and 'hibernate' via playing the game for like ever.
I say hibernate cause he never eats, drinks or excretes but he is breathing and clicking.
Never caring that my laptop is suffering from a very high fever and my dad who never stops nagging like some grandma.

So anyway, back to my story
I actually wanted to by Dynasty Warriors 6 on the PS2 at Saberkas
So I went home and the disc doesn't work
Ask the shopkeeper
She tried about 4 or 5 other disc
All do not work
So the 'lao ban' or the owner ask me to choose others
Since DW6 cost me 10 freaking bucks since its on DVD9, my ass
I choose FIFA 2009 and Prince of Persia: Warrior Within instead
Cause my bro likes soccer and I decided to give this game a shot
In the end
I love it
Now I am playing this hard game
Jumping around, running on walls, flying off from ropes and curtains
And killing sex crazed, bitch whore ninjas whose sexual pleasure is to kick my damn ass
Which pisses me off since they like to jump over me, showing their pussies to the lucky prince no doubt since they jumped over him, spreading their legs in the process.
Unfortunately, I have no time for smelly vah jays jays so I could do the one thing, any honorable gentleman would to whores like them.
By slicing their heads off.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Prince of Persia DAMN HARD

Damn you Ubisoft!!!!
Damn you!!!
Why is Prince of Persia
THIS DAMN HARD!!!!!!!!!!!
GRaH!!!!!!!!!!!
So frustrating, yet so fun
Now so tired
And its only...
9 p.m.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I am not some senior citizen or child okay?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

House Bunny!!!!

I just watched house bunny!!!!
It ROCKS!!!!!
I love it!!!!!
Woot!!!!
Uh, oh yeah
I found out that even though I am in a new territory, I am still incredibly lonely
Life sucks
I should branch out more

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Summer Semester

Its summer semester people
For people who don't understand why we attend school this time of the year
Its because we have to take MPW subjects or Mata Pelajaran Wajib
Which means Eye Learning Compulsory, kidding
Its Compulsory Subjects.
So we have two subjects.
Malaysian Studies
and
Moral Studies.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!
*my ass*

Lectures are big and like 100 plus kids cramped in a not so cramped room
I know this because there are places for me to put my bag and raise my feet up onto the chair with no one else giving the *look at the uncivilized punk* linger.

Gary and I are in the same class.
Which you prolly think its cool to have your cousin (by marriage) to hang with you right?
Its not
We barely speak to each other, lol
If only Derrick were here
He would be the catalyst that attaches Gary's large group of friends which includes Cally, Jamie and a set of HOT twins with me and 'comma so gay' or Tan Meng Siang
Yeah yeah
I know its pathetic
My 'sort of' gay couple of two comparing with Gary's platoon if you can say.
He's made a lot of friends
unlike me
Who has like a lots of acquaintances, two gay dudes and a sworn brother.
I am not calling them gay, they just LOOK gay as in campy and have a sort of attraction to men
Joking.

So I have a total of 3 lecturers.
Wait I have 2 subjects
This is cause two middle age men are sharing mt moral studies class to teach (at least its not a bed)
So my Malaysian studies lecturer is a female
She is obsessed with the door thing, whether to lock or unlock it or whatever.
She is also sort of a preacher of patritism
Malaysian Studies is a revision of the past
Like Form 1,2 and 3 history
Yeah that was WAAAAYYYYYY back.
Luckily she told us that the implications and consequences are important, not the names (thank god)
History is one boring tabloid magazine
Unfortunately its the only tabloid that we are forced to study
Sheesh
Who cares if there is Parawhatevera and Malacca and stuff
When you can anticipate who is Brangelina's seventh kid?
I already remembered those things (history, not Brangelina's seventh kid, I am not obsessed)

Moral is a study of ethics
Bla bla bla
Ethic is vicious or virtuous
bla bla bla
bla bla bla
forgot forgot forgot
something something something
*turns on iPod*
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't wanna try now
its just get about to
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part here

The lecturer as I said is two dudes
The first one was well
A blur
I was listening for about 5 seconds and then turned on my iPod and then
Well and then I dunno what happened really

The second one
was filled with VERY VERY LAME JOKES
You know your parents are bad
so they are not superman, they are batman
Lame
I know they are lame cause I laugh
I laugh at lame jokes for some reason.
Then when he goes to teaching
Yeah, I blanked out too

Well, moral of this blog post is
Well, there is no moral.
Cause I don't think there is one

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Man, Tuesdays are boring

I have nothing to do.
Sad
If only I have a Swinburne student
with a gym membership
that can be my gym buddy
So so sad

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My holidays

So there are a few things that happened during my week long holiday.
Well, I can tell you that my holidays were
BORING
LONELY
and
EXTREMELY PATHETIC
No action at all.
Ok?

I didn't sneaked out of my house to some girl's house and serenade her with Secondhand Serenade's 'Fall For You' which I think the song sucks.
You know, its for those 'secondhand' people.
I didn't go to grappa, get drunk and got gang bang by 4 large dicked Malays
I didn't sneak out of my house just to meet someone in a car then drive to some park and receive a blowjob. (or was it give?)
I wasn't kidnapped by some dominatrix in a catwoman suit who tickles me with a pink feather thing around my crotch and whips my ass with a black whip at the same time while I was chained with my arms and legs spread.
I didn't go to the croc farm and wrestle the crocs like Steve Irwin
I didn't throw cow's blood on Wilhelmina Slater for wearing a rare snow leopard fur.
I wasn't involved in the protest in Thailand where someone hurled a grenade and killed people.
I didn't impersonate Joe Jonas and dumped a girl over a 27 second phone call
I did not do anything but I did do something.

I went to Spring for some Brendan time since I was bored and have nothing to do but be an idiot and do some window shopping (which I swear I never do)
But I bought food so not really window shopping.
Window shoppers are losers.
So then I saw the bitch and pathetic couple of Jenny and Eric or Jeneric (Great! Just My day!)
I call them Jeneric cause they are common trailer park trash
So the bitch and the bastard macam Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag only Spencer and Heidi are more better, talented, bitchier and more exposed than them acting like love sick cow whores and a sick looking drug addled pimp walking around Spring like the oh so destined living in Trailer Park trash.
Most probably window shopping
(SEE! Told you losers window shop!)
So I was like HI, you know being nice and all
Then the dumbass bitch Jenny laughed like some hyena cow whore for whatever cow whore fucktarded reason
While the boyfriend was like waving hi
I walked away, sensing that when I look at them, I just need to puke
Cause they look so much like trailer park trash.

Another interesting thing happen is Spring Cleaning
Which my mom was so enthusiastic about
Where I carry a lot of things to the Salvation Army
My mom as the average clueless Malaysian that think the Salvation Army is some kind of dumping ground wanted to dump the broken fan and microwave there too
Which thankfully I told her not to
and then we sent it to the recycling center instead.
So to all Kuchingnites
Please do not dump your useless junk to the Salvation Army
These children are people too.
People with holes in their nether region part of their pants.
So please be considerate
If you things are broken
Send it to the recycling center!

Oh yeah! My car is NO LONGER a TRANNY
As I was washing my car, alone
(Wow, Brendan so grown up!!!!!! Wash car by HIMSELF AH!!!!!!!)
Then I saw it
The sissy, rainbow, gay pride butterfly is GONE
I was estatic
I thought that my dad took it off so I was very happy
At last, FINALLY HE LISTENS TO ME
Yeah right.

I was in esctacy till I found out what actually happened
My mom told me everything
Some bastard peel off half the butterfly sticker.
Dad, pissed, peeled everything.
I can imagine him being Ben Beng
The male and ah beng version of Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson.
Here is a youtube clip of Bunifa
Btw, there's more but this is my fav.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Fucktards

My new word!
FUCKTARDS!
A short form of fucking retards
Hey if you can have frenemies
You can also have fucktards
My new word
Fucktard
Fuck Tard
Say it!
Fuck Tard
Fucktard
Oh yeah
The word Fucktard is copyrighted
by me
:)

Fucktard
Defintion: An abbreviation of the word fucking (v) and the word retard (n).
A person that has no brain, weird and basically a dumbass.
That is so retarded that a curse word must be added in front to specify the retarded-ness of the person

Country of Origin: Malaysia, more specifically Brendan Goh

Example of a sentence: Oh dear, look at that fucktard! He dry humps girl's behind before he evens talk to them.

Frenemies
Definiton: A person who is your friend but is actually your enemy who tries to sabotage you in anyway

Country of Origin: United States, more specifically Paris Hilton

Example of a sentence: Lisa and Derrick are frenemies because Lisa will do anything in her power to put Derrick below her even though Derrick considers them to be as close as brother and sister.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Its out!!

12th Episode of Casa La 7 is out!!!
View it at
www.casala7.blogspot.com
Dalton has died, wanna know what is going down?
Will the crazy sexual relationship between Brendzaaron continue?
Will Rachel turn the drugs she found to the police
Will Nate get arrested?
Will Lance ever returned to the soccer team?
Will Carlos and Danielle be able to deal with the grief or will it eat them up?
Wanna know these details?
Then go to
www.casala7.blogspot.com

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Blonde moment with sherrie

Snowfish~~ says:
cos other ppl cant read anyway
SnowFish~~ says:
it's open 2 readers only
Where the tomato can you get Japanese Songs? says:
i thought 3?
Where the tomato can you get Japanese Songs? says:
me, cynthia and mun yin rite?
SnowFish~~ says:
to readers only
SnowFish~~ says:
not number 2 la
Where the tomato can you get Japanese Songs? says:
owh
Where the tomato can you get Japanese Songs? says:
lol
Where the tomato can you get Japanese Songs? says:
so blonde

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Felt like spending money

Man, hols these days are a little, well uneventful
Which sucks.
Sulking around doing nothing.
I know what to do!!!!
Time to BOMB!!!
Yes, I am gonna insult someone's post!
Watch out people!!!
Muahahahha.
I am mean
Be jealous!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Realized

I realized that I don't blog much during school holidays.
I have no idea why.
Now, I am currently working on the latest episode of Casa La 7
Its been going well
No block yet.
Which is cool.
I think I will try and get it done by tonight
or tomorrow
Plus I still have a lot of things to keep me occupied
I was thinking of going to the gym
Anyone wanna accompany me?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Tagged by Mun Yin

Just when I was about to do a new Casa La 7 post and a new post here.
While watching 90210, I got tagged by Mun Yin
This means only one thing
I have a blog to add to my list for convenience of unleashing vengeance filled with long, lenghty, annoying, reality shocking, bitchy tags.
FEEL MY WRATH!!!

So now lets do zis tag.

1. Do you like anyone? I like almost everyone, almost.

2. Do they know it? They all know it, spread the love y'all

3. Simple or complicated? Brendan is always complicated, sometimes too complicated that it is actually simple.

4.. Bought something? Thanks for the Memories, Cecelia Ahern which I haven't read.

5. Gotten sick? nope.

6. Been hugged? yeah.

7. Felt stupid? Uh, what does this question mean?

8. Talked to an ex? No, he's a motherchucking manwhore

9. Missed someone? Nope

10. Failed a test? Add Math, Physics, Moral Suckies in High School

11. Danced? Everyday

12. Gotten your hair cut? not yet

13. Lied? Duh. Is this a tag for nine year olds?

14. Nervous habits? Hyperventilating when I am excited, includes coughing, vomiting and shortness of breath

15. Are you double jointed? nope.

16. Can you raise one eyebrow? Can you smelllllllaalalalalalalalala. What the Rock is cooking?

17. Can you cross your eyes? no idea

18. Do you make your bed daily? Uh. is this some entrance exam for Amish nuns?

19. Do you think you are unique? Brendan Goh Chun Hian has the Brendzfactor, a level of entity that no one else has. That unique enough for you?

20. Said " I Love You" ? This question is obviously diverted to brainless, shy, douche bag ah lians, which I am so not.

21.. Given money to a homeless person? No, I kidnapped them and sold them as prostitutes in Cambodia

22. Smoked? I don't smoke cigarettes or cigars or anything that might cause me to get cancer. I never smoked ham but I have smoked dick before.

23. Waited all night for a phone call? Not a dog, thank you.

24. Snuck out? I have been smeaking out of my house since I was ten. Gosh, its a normality to me now.

25. Sat and looked at the stars?
*looks up*
Anna: Stars!
Brendan: Helicopter
Reality: Helicopter.

26. Do you swear/curse? Read my blog yet?

27. Do you ever spit? Only when I am sick or when there is mucus in me that needs to be ridden off.

28. You cook your own food? Yes, I do and I am planning to bake come Chinese New Year.

29. You do your own chores? I am like cinderella, waiting for my princess charming so that we could engage in hot lesbian sex.

30. You like beef jerky? Its tasty, I love it but its like a real rare find here.

31. You're happy with your life? Wait hold on a sec, limbs intact, active pulse, vitals signs are all good, no self inflicted injuries, yeah I am happy.

32. You own a dog? 3. Currently, two are whores and one is currently going out everyday to satisfy himself. I didn't know there were so many female strays in the neighborhood.

33. You spend your money wisely? Is this some kind of Parent Allowance Evaluatation Form cause I don't know if I spend my money wisely. How do you do that? You buy, you happy and then you wait till next month.

34. Do you like to swim? I am one with the water.

35. When you get bored do you call a friend? Sorry, I prefer IMs

36. Flowers or Angels? A.N.G.E.L

37. Grey or Black? Black, once you go black, you can't go back.

38. Color or Black and White photos? I would leave that decision to Tyra.

39. Lust or Love? Both, duh. You want someone who cares about you and also that someone must also be horny. I like love but I also need to feel alive.

40. Sunrise or Sunset?Night person, figure it out.

41. M&Ms or Skittles? Chewy, Fuity Tutty, Colordul Skittles! Suck. M&Ms please!

42. Staying up late or Waking up early? My bed time is 4 a.m.

43. Being Hot or Cold? Your hot then you are cold, your are yes then you are no, you are in and you are out...

44. Winter or Fall?Who cares, luv em both.

45. Left or Right? Lefty

46. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? I had sex with my best friends.

47. Been dumped? Andrew, let me make this clear. I DUMP YOU.

48. Stolen money from a friend? That's just low. Too low

49. Been in a fist fight? I am a guy, so yeah.

50. Snuck out of your house? Wait a sec, wasn't that question repeated?

51. Had a crush on a teacher? Ms Hu!!!! Jk jk.

52. Seen someone die? Gramps

53. Been on an airplane? Sorry, I am not one of those people who stare at the side of the airplane field and talk to their sons or daughters like this. 'Kid take a look at that airplane fly, cause we can only afford to watch them fly.'

54. Slept all day? Nah, not that much of a sloth

55. Missed someone so much it hurt? No, but I missed Haagen Dazs so much that it hurt

56. Fallen asleep during school? No, if there is no reason

57. Been lonely? I am alone, hello?

58. Cheated in a game? Its no crime, plus i get to kick serious ass without crying if I fail.

59. Been to the ER? Yeah, beside me is Dr. Grey, Dr. Yang, Dr. Montgomery, Dr Sheperd, Dr. Torres, Dr. Bailey, Dr. Sloane, Dr. Stevens, Dr. Karev and Dr. O Malley.

60. Been in a car accident? Yeah

61. Had detention? Sorry, disciplinary actions here have a more primal and primitive form of punishment, whacking people in the ass with sticks.

62. Missed your first love? No

63. Cried yourself to sleep? Obviously so

64. Sung in the shower? In the room, in the car, in the bar but not in the shower

65. Kissed a complete stranger? Yeah.

66. Laughed so hard you cried? yeah

67. Cheated on a bf/gf? Ooo. no

68. Regretted hurting someone? i am remorseless, if I hurt someone, well they hurt me first.

69. Regretted loving someone? Andrew

70. I Tag : Aini, Derrick, Gary and Jamie

Friday, November 14, 2008

Driving around

Okay, okay, I am hearing the signs of angry mobs forming, scheming and rioting me to update my blog and Casa La 7 so here goes.

I have been driving around town in the Gay Car. Here, there, basically everyway.

First, Meng Siang asked me out to go and help him find a ram, rom, rim or whatever in Saberkas. Personally, I don't like that place, too old, needs a makeover. Then I took a car and met up with Chris, the crazy dude who decided to do whatever who was working in this smelly restaurant near the Timberland private hospital. Funny, when I hear Timberland, I thought of shoes when Kuching people heard of Timberland they thought of the private hospital. At least we don't need to confuse ourselves with Timbaland the hip hop artist/music producer. Then I headed off, CANVAS BAG in tow to Cold Storage and got myself some drinks. Though I should have gone to the spring, things are heaps cheaper there.

The next day, which is today, I went off in a quest to find a replacement of some of my things lost. Unfortunately, the item is unavailable which means I am in deep, deep shit. I went off to Sarawak Plaza which I did not realized that it was still in renovation, how should I know. Then I headed off all the way, for some reason to Hock Lee Centre which bores me, cause the place is exceptionally boring and I can't find my thing. Then I detoured to the Spring, (yes, yes my flagship mall) and still can't find it so in the end I bought some donuts and went home.

By the way, today is November 14th, my mom's birthday whose Napoleon Cake was vacuumed by the Vacuum cleaner himself, Ryan Goh in a matter of seconds. So if you care, wish her a happy birthday. I already did so no need announce it on my blog, cause she doesn't read it, but knows about it and I forbade her to read it and my dad is also forbidden in fact, almost everyone in my family is forbidden to read my blog. Why? its a public blog. Everyone but the other four members of my family are allowed to read it

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Coming up after my exam. . .

  1. The 5th Most Depressing Thing in Malaysia
  2. Review of Smackdown vs Raw 2009
  3. Review of Dynasty Warriors 6: Special
  4. A new episode of Casa La 7
  5. Review of Final Fantasty A2: Grimoire of The Rift (in Swintalk)
  6. A list of my favorite female fighting characters
  7. The urge to play MK vs DC
  8. Why the fuck should I have a PS3
  9. A lot of very funny and emo post
That's about it I guess
Well, wait till my exams are over
I will (try to) refrain from blogging till its over.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Can't Read?

Now, some people are plainly very stupid.
I don't know how Malaysians can live like this
Its like, yuck much
That's why this is the 6th most depressing thing in Malaysia
Proof that some Malaysians just don't know how to read instructions.
Since Malay is Malaysia's national language,
we would probably expect people to not do some of the stuff below.
Since you have an education, you know how to read, and anyone who is a Malaysian citizen knows this language and half of them have been speaking this language since they were born
But then THIS happens

Yeah, yeah I took it from Kenny Sia but this is different topic, okay?
So I don't know what this proves
Some Malaysians can't read
or
Bahasa Malaysia is not an effective language
I am just gonna go for the former
Cause I have studied the Malay language too ya know?
And I can read Malay, understand Malay and I know that I am not supposed to do the action above
Even though I can't speak Malay properly
(Ya know its tough to be fluent in 3 languages and 2 dialects rite?)
At least I understand the language but things like this happens?
Its just sad.
Especially when you are a Malaysian
and the ONLY country that uses Malay as the national language
and YOU CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE SIGN SAYS.
Sick, la.
How can u present yourself to foreigners.
And we not only talking about the orang putih, ang mo or Caucasians here
Japanese, Haitians, Kenyans, Tanzanians, Mexicans, Bangladeshis, Koreans, Vietnamese, and you know the list goes on and on and on.

Then we need to remind people to SIT on the toilet bowl instead of SQUATTING ON ONE.
Like so

Do we REALLY need that?
Do we really need people to THINK like that?
Do we really think that Malaysians are that stupid?
This is very degrading you know?
Are Malaysians still living on trees and pooping in a hole?
Are we seriously THAT stupid.
Wake up.
Wake up.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

What do I do when I write a blog post?

Well, since to help you guys with some ideas on how to write a good blogpost. Good english is not necessary as you only need to whip up a good post, not a good essay. (Actually, it is important but since well, some of you poor people like to use retard english, I just have to lower my standards a little.)

Well, first, I usually find a good, conducive and refreshing environment to let my creativity free. Now my ideas roam free when i feel intact with isolation and a distanced contact from the outside world. For example, a nice comfortable chair, with a table in front, some nice coffee, tea, soda, hot cocoa or yogurt drink would be nice. Now I am talking about what I do when I am doing an episode for casa la 7, as for Brendzblog, well anywhere is fine.

You have to take a look at your previous blogposts first, this is to get some ideas or just check that you wanna do a sequel or post something that is completely new. If you wanna check out others go ahead, plagiarizing ideas is not a crime in the blogging world or if you wanna bomb their post. Go ahead if you wanna bomb my post or try and sell your own version, I don't mind (except for Casa La 7)

Now, I would probably have an idea, and let it flow through my words. Do no think blogging is a chore or english words are very hard to write or stuff. If it is to hard then I suggest that you just quit blogging altogether. Blog about anything. If there are pics? Post em up, as much as you want. This is essential to fill your blog with pics if your english lacks creativity and skill because
  1. Your blog is interesting that way
  2. People can ignore your bad english
  3. You will be doing us all a favor cause our minds will not degenerate become retarded

I would think something related to my topic, just let the creativity flow, a good thesaurus is essential if you just can't find the words. I would let myself become emotional, raw and real. Giving it in a way that I am connecting to someone, feel like as if I am talking to the reader.

Now this is very important, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use SHORT FORMS, DO NOT DRAG ON, DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF LOOK WEAK, NO GRAMMAR MISTAKES, IF ABLE TO, LEAVE OUT THE TYPOS, DO NOT DO THOSE RETARD AH LIAN SLANGS WITH ALL THOSE Xs BEHIND. And most importantly, do not put on THOSE DUMB, CHILDISH, SHITTY EMOTES. We wanna be smarter when we read not dumber.

Really, I when I read posts like these, my brains will start to degenerate, feeling number and more retarded by the second. If I read those posts and then feel like 30% of my brain has fallen off somewhere, then I know that I need to trash this post.

Well, that's all. I think I am kinda off topic now, so lets end it here.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

To make a good blog.

To make a good blog is honestly not as easy as it looks,
To some people, posting short notes about their life is called a post
or posting a lot of salivating food around is called a good blog
Generally, a good blog can be fitted into any genre.
Now don't worry that your blog is all words or all pics
What the most important part is the content
Now, I know that writing is a great talent of mine which obviously comes to me naturally
This is proven okay.

So now, I am not going to be a big braggy showoff and say that 'OOO, I am a great writer and so talented... bla bla bla... trying to write and publish a book during summer sem... bla bla bla... i write better stories that put J.K. Rowling to shame... bla bla bla'
So if you want your ideas, thoughts, feelings that raw and processed through your fingers and present it the way you wanted it in the words in a blog post.
Just follow the steps below
A not so short last note,
Your blog needs not to be popular, it can be private if you want to
Nobody says a great blog is a famous one anyways.
We only want it to be popular cause we limelight hogs want all the fame.

Number One: Know your subject well
Whether its a person, subject, game or whatever, you definitely need to know the subject well.
How well? Well, enough for you to sing his praises or thrashed him like the chump he is.
Be observant to know your subject
How he dresses, acts and attitude is ennough really to thrash the person
You wanna be even more cruel, sin his praises, get close to him and then thrash him
However, only those who are truly cold can do it
Not recommended for amateurs.
As for stuff, make sure you know them well

If its a game or music, make sure you have listened to it or play it please.

For movies or equipment
Don't give any short notes like 'The movie sucks because i don't get it'
or ' the movie sucks because the acting is very poor'
or 'troy bolton very the sissy in high school musical 3'
You must be specific, like if the 'Disaster Movie' is a, well, disaster.
Then you have to explain why.
Is it because the acting is poor.
Is it because the storyline doesn't make any sense
Or is it Kim Kardashian's boons are the only interesting aspects of the movie
You have to give some examples or else people just don't get it.

Number 2: Be specific
Being specific means being personal.
We have to make sure it is our own, raw and original
especially when it comes to feelings.
We need different volcabulary to do this to make it specific
If your english is not good, well try and use a good dictionary to help
Oxford's advanced learner's dictionary helps a lot.
But if you are not advanced like me, well a good normal dictionary from Oxford is fine
Other than Oxford, you can try cambridge or longman.
Webster is strictly for American English.
If not mistaken.
If you are lazy to look up in a dictionary, a thesaurus is a better way
It gives you alternatives and more specific words for you to use.
Like happy can be relieved, glad, joyous or estatic.
Its faster that way.

Number 3: Spacing and organize
Don't bla all the way down, you need to let them breathe
A few enters or breaks in between is nice
Or press 'enter' everytime you need to start a new sentence
However, you need to make it organize
Like one topic per paragraph, organize it clearly.

Number 4: Linking
Makesure is relevant
Never go off topic
Make sure that there is a connection from top to bottom
Lose it halfway and you will leave the reader in disappointment.

Number 5: Change topics
If you are some anime whackjob who goes gaga over jap anime
Don't post it like every post is about it, unless of course you dedicate your blog to it.
Make it more different and versatile
Like first I trash Hubert
and how I am teaching you how to trash him is two different things
Put stuff up sparingly to not bore your audience.

Number 6: Never incite hate in your blog
Now I do not mean hating people, its fine, you can hate him or her
Provided if you have a very solid reason to hate him or her
And everyone agrees
Like Hubert, Jenny, Eric, Senk Siang and a couple of those bratty Sungai Maong pieces of shit for example.
These people are nobodies so feel free to trash him or her
Of course not a lot of people agree so expect repercussions
But not to worry about that.
If the person is a politician or someone famous
Be sure that there is a majority that agrees.
You can't simply trash em if you think they just suck
Especially in this country where media is controlled and you can get arrested if you 'break' the rules.
Unless of course the person incited a hate crime first through the media, then feel free to do what kenny sia did.
Not eligible: Sarah Palin
Why: Cause she is what she is, you can't bitch about her if you don't really know her that well, and if you are not American, then you have not even a shred of right to do that
Eligible: Some guy who says Chinese are squatters
Why: He tried to destroy and further strain the already fragile interracial tolerance between races in Malaysia. So go ahead and trash him if you must, I won't do it cause honestly, I don't care. Malaysian politics have more drama than the 3 brands of WWE combined.
But honestly, never incite hate on your blog in general terms like you insulting blacks, whites, muslims, christians, gays, transexuals, chicken, tuna, KFC (well maybe not KFC) or whatever.
Its just wrong.

Number 7: Your blog, your rules.
This is your blog, go ahead and do what you want with it
Just makes sure it is interesting
I might not like all of it.
But then again, who cares
Your blog, your rules.
I don't like people blogging crap about their mundane lives that do not have the balls to publish their opinion online
And if you are one of them
Honestly, change
Change for the better

These are a few good tips on running a good blog
Next I think I will give some tips on publishing a good post
XOXO
Brendan Goh, the currently-trying-to-be-a-philantropist-sort-of

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

My blog, my rules.

I really really really really hate it when someone critisizes my blog
I just don't like it period.
I take my blog very personally and very seriously.
I mean if you say my blog sucks for like 3 times, I would just slap you or worse
I don't care if you are some six pack joe or a respected politician
I don't care if you are some stranger or my own mother
I don't care if you are a bastard like Hubert or my girlfriend
I don't care if you are my brother or my dogs
I don't care if you are some kid or a grandmother
I don't care if you are human or from outer space
I don't care if you are a cold blooded killer or some vegetarian philantropist
I don't care whatever you are
When you insult my blog,
be prepared for a bitch fight
My blog, my rules.
Don't like it, then don't come to my blog.
There are better and more bitchier blogs around the world than mine

I know sometimes I can be bitchy and mean
but honestly, Kenny Sia, Xiaxue, Susan and Perez Hilton have more bitchier,shrewd and mean blogs than mine.
If we have someone that is like the Vancome Lady, then we have the bitchiest blog in the world

You know, I only talk bad about people in my blog because they talk bad about me.
I also talk bad about em if they are lame and I just can't stop doing it
Needs a wake up call.

I mean this is MY BLOG
My feelings, my life, my moodiness and stuff is all real here
Its raw and real.
I take my blogging seriously and very personally.
That's why sometimes, I get very pissed off that some people post crap into their blog
I mean when you post stuff, at least make it interesting.
Don't blog about things that people just can't understand
I mean your english doesn't need to be lousy
Just that your words are able to connect to the reader.
On an emotional level
If it attracts readers if a certain genre that's great
My blog is for readers who like imagination or plain avid readers
Its all words.
Like those people who say my blog is boring, there is a 99% chance that he or she doesn't read books or owns computer, do not know what is a blog, let alone the internet or the computer.
I can't cater to everyone, I accept that
Who cares if you don't like it
My blog my rules.
I mean if you come here and trash my blog
That just means 2 things
You are think that my blog is influential and that I am popular, on my way to blog celeb status.
Which you have to give me your name, I should treat you some nice drinks
No seriously, thanks for thinking that I am a greatly influential person
or
You are plain stupid

I know that now
So, I will not be explaining myself or apologizing or beating myself up everytime someone trashes me
Or cry or whatever
I will just leave it that way, ban you or delete you
When there is haters, you know there is lovers
And being a hater means you care
So haters, thank you for caring about me

The opposite of love is not hate, its indifference - Marcia Cross
So you don't like me, leave me alone
Brendzblog is continuing for the rest of my life.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Aini Tagged ME

Lets get this over with.

1) Do you think you are hot?
Me? Hot? Obviously! I am WAY HOT, I have the potential to BE HOT. My personality IS HOT, now all I need is some abs like John Morrison and I am OFFICIALLY HOT

2)Upload a favourite picture of yourself.

3) Why do u like the picture?
It is my favorite picture, -.-ll

4) When is the last time you ate pizza?
Oh, um about a week or two ago. Homemade healthy pizza that got me lao sai.

5) The last song you listen to?
It would be 'I hate this part' by Pussycat Dolls
6) What are you doing right now beside this?
Carlito & Primo vs Miz & Morrison

7) What name you prefer besides your name?
Uh, Brendan is fine, really.

5 ppl to tag:
Cynthia
Susan
Gary
Lee Chin
Derrick

8) Who is number 1?
A friend in Swinburne

9) Number 3 is having a relationship with?
No one

10) Say something abt number 5?
He likes a girl named Lisa but is to scared to tell her and that's why he is her GAY best friend

11) How abt number 4?
She is a very religious girl who is currently crazy about laksa

12) Who is number 2?
A real cool bitch who owns a great blog.