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Friday, January 30, 2009

Controversy works.

Apparently, my blog is boring when I blog about mundane stuff.
Even I think its boring.
Sad, right.
Its funny, how infamy works.
When you do something nice, or normal, people ignore your blog
When in fact, you bitch about something.
Idiotic unknown people come over and spam your blog like hell
Telling you your blog is crap, bla bla bla.
Funny thing is these people have no balls at all.
Putting unknown names and start bitching about you.
Hey, if I think your blog sucks, I will DEFINITELY put my name on your blog,
GIVE you the link to my blog.
You can even request my email too.
Well I have nothing to write about these days.
I am concentrating to whip up a new Casa La 7 episode
Playing this awesome online game called Shaiya
Hope I got the URL right.
If you want it, you can get the installation disk from me
Currently addicted to it.
I set 3 birds, 5 turtles and about 30 fishes free today.
I just throw them into the river behind my house actually
I even gave them names.
(Turtles and birds only. Too many fishies to name, so I just numbered them)

Birdies are normal pigeons that cost 20 bucks each!
I named them

I also named the turtles
Green Fingers

Also I have named a few of my newborn puppies
Will blog before I go London
Man, gonna miss my babies for a month.
Luckily I didn't leave during CNY.
My poor Liberty's heart may not take it.
Firecrackers, thunderstorm and the master who feeds her everyday gone?
She might faint.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Its Chinese New Year!!! (In half an hour)

Everyone knows that the Chinese community of Kuching are a little 'festive' when it comes to Chinese New Year.
That is of course, if you want to rephrase it in a nice and subtle way.
The fact,
Chinese New Year in Kuching is like a bunch of nut cases buying supremely tacky deco, clean their house more mad than Bree Van De Kamp and the Stepford Wives combined and supremely FAKE and over dramatic people trying to show off how fucking clean, decorative, creative and whatever-tive their fucking house is. Not to mention the trigger crazy people who like to hear a big KABOOM and a whiff of gunpowder smoke, contributing to air pollution on this god forsaking already sick Earth.
It is Chinese New Year after all.
Everyone is in the spirit of the year of the Bull
Cause people here suddenly got Mad Cow Disease and start charging on everywhere to buy stuff.

Now time for some real witty fun jokes about Chinese New Year.

  1. Chinese New Year is the only time of year where it is legal to set explosives.
  2. Chinese New Year is the only time of year where people get their 'terrorist' side out
  3. It is also the only time of the year where you can ask strangers for money
  4. When there is a large explosion outside, its a good chance that is just a weak bomb.
  5. A time where people would not run away from explosions and watch from the sidelines instead
  6. Big noise, big smoke is better than a beautiful arrangement of fireworks display.
  7. If you start shaking, its not an earthquake, its a firecracker!
  8. Bree cleans her house like mad everyday, Kuching people do this every year.
  9. This time of the year is Liberty's (my dog) worst nightmare coming true, too bad it happens every year.
  10. As long as you wear red, (Red dress, red shoes, red underwear, red penis due to an infection) its fine.
  11. Cheapskates fine it as the only reason to buy new clothes.
  12. If you think you hear missiles shooting to the air or flying over you, its just a fireworks.
  13. A great time for Muslim extremists to start terrorizing the world.

Now Chinese New Year is not that bad!
I get to show off my new outfit
I get to get a lot of money
I get to catch up with old friends
However, the most important part of Chinese New Year is the money.
Money come,Money come, Money come
Its all about the MONEY!!!

Happy Chinese Bullshit New Year everyone.

Friday, January 23, 2009


I know guys!
January is usually not a good month for me to blog
I don't know why but honestly, I felt as if my creativity is blocked
I can't harness my creative powers like I used to.
This is bad.
Real bad
Something inside me is wrong.
Its very mellow not powerful, assertive.
Writer's blog sucks
Casa La 7 is not cancelled
A new one is coming up
Wait and see.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Hey guys
Sorry for the LACK of updates
Its not that I am real busy or anything
Its just that I basically ran out of creative juice to write stuff.
Well just to let you guys now what I am up to.
Take a look at the video below.
I hope you understand that what I am about to do next month.
Or exactly 30 days later.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Logical and funny

This is a tag worth doing
I mean seriously its worth doing!
There is no stupid questions like
'Have you told a lie?'
You don't need to know who the hell Oprah or Tyra is.
Its for everyone!
Make it creative
Make it fun
I am sure you would love it.
In fact, you do it blindly (ie without thinking, pure instinct), you are considered an idiot
Cause you are giving info about you and your family online.
Moreover, you don't feel like a nine year old!
You feel like a comedian with funny punch up lines.
Oh yeah
If you plagiarize my comments,
I swear to mother fucking God that I will crack your ass in half, I am gonna fuck you up so hard that you won't be able to walk for weeks (with a dildo of course) and tear you apart, molecule by molecule!
Moreover it so Ah Beng
Its so fun
Don't you know Ah Bengs fill their resumes like this?

Name: Nah Meh? You call me Nah Meh? You si beh bo ka si ah! Oh my name! Ben Beng
> Age: Can have babies oredi!
> Sex: Can! But you buy condom and book hotel ah, I no money
> Religion: I pray to statues and burn things, like sticks and paper.
> Race: I love to race, how you know?
> Nationality: I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo
> IC Number: I see number 8, very lucky you no?
> Telephone number: House no telephone.
> Hand phone number: 3310
> Address: EH! I boy la! I don't wear dress! You think I Chao Ah Qua Hah! See this? See my TAT TOO? See my LAN? Very big ah! Not like Chao Ah Qua as small as cigarette.
> City: Nor Haliza?
> Postcode: My post is leader of the Chao Ah Beng Gang, no code, we no have computer la!
> State: ment.
> Country: Kantree? Kantree ah? Ah... Sarawak!
> Marriage status: WAH! So chim o! What is this? Ohhh, I Kahwin or not ah, not Kahwin yet!
> Email Address: Oi! I no computer remember?
> Education Background: I no how to use parang, kwan dao, jian, taiji jian and kang hu. I also have sex education too, I no how to fuck people real good.
> Working Experience: I kill ten people, stolen from 20 people, rob 5 ah mah and rape 35 women and one man who I thought was a woman.
> Father's name: I have two daddy oh
> Father's IC: Which one?
> Mother's name: I have no mummy oh
> Mother's IC: How I know, I have two daddy leh!
> Current Salary: Depend on the day lo
> Expected Salary: A lot of money
> When can start work: I have 3 people to kill, ten women to rape and 6 debts to collect, about 1 week later, can?
> Highest qualification: my lan is 18cm and my height is 178cm
> Grade: I got A+ in fucking, the rest i get A
> College/University: I dunno what is that
> Signature: Sign nature? Oh sign my name hah! Can use chop? Easier bah!

Sunday, January 11, 2009


A message to all supporters of boycotting American Goods

ALLAH!!!! The US supports the Israeli air strikes on Gaza.
If we manage to fully boycott American products!
They will lose money and cannot use it as funds to make weapons for Israel!
We will put a serious blow to the economy!!!
Because we think that America only trades with Malaysia!!!
So please stop buying these things
We must unite!

I know Chinese New Year is coming soon but please stop buying Pepsi and Coca Cola!


Coca Cola

See? I even label nice nice for you people so that you can identify these products!
So that you know not to buy these products made by the wretched vermin of the Americans!
I know that Coca Cola and Pepsi taste very nice.
But don't drink Cola and Pepsi
Don't play play, you people.
Cola and Pepsi can kill Palestinians!
They get killed by you drinking them and then somehow over at Gaza, Palestinians drop like flies.
Drink other versions of Cola and Pepsi
I know they suck compared to the sweet, fizzy and delicious brew of Cola and Pepsi but Palestinians need to survive!

Hot Dog

Hot Dogs are originated from America, so don't go to 1901 and eat hot dog, every hot dog you eat there will be like a homing missile ready to stuff itself into a Palestinian's asshole, be it man, woman, child or transsexual.

Motorola phone

Do not buy Motorola phones, afterward the Americans can make more bombs to help the Israelis who will use the bombs to bomb Palestinians!

Instead, do what Naomi Campbell does! Throw your Motorola cell phone at your Indonesian maid! It will not explode and kill your maid but spoiling the phone will prove that you are against the Americans!


Nike is an American brand, every step you take in a Nike shoe will be like a tank rolling over many poor Palestinians! So you must throw away your Nike shoes or even better! Throw it at your Indonesian maid!


Please do not buy Macbook or iPods as they belong to Apple Inc. Apple is the biggest phenomenon and money maker in the US. No iPod means no harm will be caused to Palestinians.
So please smash your iPod to pieces with a hammer, run over it with your car or bash it on your Indonesian maid's head 80 times to show your disapproval!

American Idol is bad for us. Because it is Americans. Those people pay taxes to contribute to the funding of bombs to the Israelis! Although it premiers on January 13th on Star World and we are of course in awe of American musicians. But we must boycott them because they are Americans!

Starbucks is a product of America, like iPod it is like a poisonous jellyfish spreading its deadly tentacles to Malaysia! We must boycott this too.

Order Kopi O instead
Kopi O good!
Also not American!
Kopi O is not as good as the smooth, creamy, milky, rich, fufilling and foamy texture of a caramel macchiato but it is the best!
Dell is an American company and since the government uses Dell products in computing, the units must be removed and returned from teachers and government servants alike, they should be given ACER instead. Its bigger, bulkier, heavier and approximately half of them will come with problems without you causing them!

Dota is American because it is created by Blizzard Entertainment and American company, all Dota nerds must no longer play this game. Because the killings there is just like the killings of the Palestinians

Play CONGKAK! Its like Dota in marble form!

We should also boycott movies like 'Twilight' and 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua' as they do not deserve our attention. The money earned here will not be given to make a sequel, it will be given to make new bombs for the Israelis!

Children should also be active in boycotting American products. They should boycott Mickey Mouse!

Mickey Mouse

See? Mickey Mouse also supports the Americans! We must not show children these things as they will pollute their minds and influence them with bad Western values like premarital sex.
In short, watching Mickey Mouse now will probably influence your kids to fuck each other in the future.

Keluang Man

They should be exposed to more traditional cartoons that are Malaysian made like Keluang Man! Lousier graphics, voice acting and animation but Made In Malaysia! Watching Keluang Man will ensure your children to become the next Prime Minister!

Next, the youth should not listen to music from people like Mariah Carey and Britney Spears!

Mariah Carey

Britney Spears

Listening to those albums only corrode the pride of our culture! It only makes young people wanna go to a salon and shave their hair off and go clubbing without their underwear. Britney Spears and Mariah Carey are US propaganda to earn money to make more weapons for palestinians. Watching Britney dancing is like watching bullets shooting from her breast and kill many Palestinians while Mariah Carey's voice is like an echo soundwave that makes the Palestinians ears bleed and die of blood loss.

There are two more things you need to boycott to consider yourself a true supporter.

First you need to boycott...


This very site. This blog is written by a guy who approves gay marriage, is addicted to Britney Spears, watches Mickey Mouse when he was a kid, owns an iPod, just ate Hot Dogs for dinner, used to own a Motorola cell phone, has walked out of Starbucks with two coffees, drank immense amounts of Pepsi, and is a big fan of Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Moreover, he speaks like an American and has made out with more than one man ON PURPOSE!!!!
He has already kissed a boy and he likes it
He might go out and walk around without his underwear!
He is a bad influence!

Another thing is that we must block Microsoft Office since its American! We

*On a side note, I didn't know that Kenny Sia already pulled it. The contents above is actually from a forwarded letter. I just added a few touches into it (Pepsi, Domino's, my blog, the crude sentences which reflects my sharp tongued alter ego). Hey if you wanna copy, make sure your copy is better than the original. *

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Got my schedule

Okay, my Swinburne schedule is only on mornings and afternoon.
Latest is on a Thursday afternoon, like on 5.30
So I have been blessed by God
That friends, old and new will be sharing the same schedule with me
So far I am happy
So far I am great
So far I am excited.
The complete list are as follows are those who have the same schedule as me

Brendan (me, there is no another Brendan)
Jia Jin
Kelly (new)
Nguyen/Martin/hien/the Vietnamese dude (new)
Anderson (Audrey's friend) (new)

Ling Sing Jin (man, this guy is a great friend, sad to see him getting another group but at least he got Dr Yong)
Cindy (Well, as far as I am concerned, I don't miss her, sorry, I just don't)
Crystal (Oh well, goodbye)
Leslie (AWW, I am sad, I wonder how many boyfriends has she gone through, I cannot keep count now!)

Samantha ( Just cause she fits well into everything)
Chai Hui ( I want a funny guy thrown into the mix, fingers crossed)
Sim Peng Soon (Well, the guy is generally a nice guy, should be thrown in)
Kelvin ( Well, we should be the same class this semester, if Fates allow it, I mean we were competing together once)
Yong Kiat Seng (This guy is cool, just wanna know him better, he should work real fine too)
Puspa (Although she disappears a lot, its tradition to keep her in)

I don't know my law, accounting or marketing lecturers
So I don't wanna judge them
But this Judith person who will be teaching me, English?
Not so sure
My HOT English teacher last semester
I also heard Dr Yong, my Innovation and Change teacher last semester
is teaching English this semester
DR YONG is so cool cause she is so cooky!!!!!
Does that make sense?

I hope that this LARGE group of people will try and get together
and be ONE HUGE GROUP of friends
Imagine the fun!

Monday, January 05, 2009

Blog gone wrong

This blog is called Brendzblog
Sex, Lies, Men, Women, and Controversies revealed
Its about me
Talking about my life
Adding in bitchy quotes, comical puns, realistic writing, and a whole lot of opinions.
Lately, especially the more recent posts
This blog has been losing its perspective
Like an aura or a soul has evaporated and disappeared within me
In the process, my creative juice is under production
The clogs operating my creativity has rusted and clogged in place.
The links within my left brain have since long lost touch and broken down
Logic, wit, creativity, bitchiness all have dispersed to the far corners of my head
Basically, my mind was in a shutdown
I know this in my heart because I feel unsatisfied with my blog post recently.

The blog posts themselves were basically average
Its so typical
Now typical for me is above average for you, well most of you.
The more recent ones look a little retarded
There were not much opinions generated there.
As if I was afraid that I would get backlashed by unhappy surfers who read my blog.

Honestly, thinking back, I kinda let my guard down.
I let the opinions on the shoutbox influence me
The shoutbox serves one purpose, for those who want to comment but too lazy to go through the 'tough' security.
Its pathetic of me to even allow the influence to creep in on me latch its tentacles onto my veins.

Its my blog
I blog what I want
I blog what I feel
No one can ever tell me to shut down my blog
Not even the government, the UN or my parents.
Its my right as a blogger and owner of Brendzblog to say what I want to say.

Its really sad to see some cowards have the nerve to post such derogatory remarks onto my blog.
They usually put their nickname and start posting nasty, generalized, untrue and vilely assumed comments like my blog sucks or my blog content is crap or it is 'crapz'
without explaining why is it?
This explains that not only those people are pathetic, they have no writing talent, they have no lives, they just say it because its fun and they have absolutely nothing to do.
Maybe even, they are too dumb to understand and have a nerve to pose as a critic.
More importantly, I bet that every one of them can never write as good as I do and are jealous of my talent.
It is logical that someone who enters my blog and do not like it would give it a five second look and leave, never to return again.
Who wants to look at a crappy blog again and again?
Waste of time.
Those who take the time and leave comments are those who like my page
Either they are impressed or bitterly jealous
Jealousy is not a good thing, believe you me.
Ever heard of the saying if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all?

Now, everyone can own a blog.
Its free.
There is blogspot, wordpress, thumbblogger, xanga and many more.
But what's in it on the other hand is very different.
You see everyone can blog but very few can be popular and even fewer can blog as good as me.
There is no need to say that people filling both criteria (Xiaxue, Kenny and maybe me) are rare.
Writing is a talent, an honor, a privilege bestowed to me from God
I have the potential to have a long running blog and potential to be a popular one.
Basically, my greatness proves too good for some people to handle.

I know that sometimes you have to run off and refer to the dictionary on some of my volcabulary
If so
I recommend Oxford's Advanced Learners Dictionary
It kept me good company for two years and going strong.
Sometimes its just good to be complicated
Cause that is what I am complicated.
You like me, you come visit my blog
You hate me, buzz off

Saturday, January 03, 2009

If you ever wonder why I despise Guitar Hero

Brendan 2009 says:
Brendan 2009 says:
darren got guitar
Brendan 2009 says:
ryan too
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
wat guitar?
Brendan 2009 says:
guitar la
R i c k says:
ps2 guitar?
Brendan 2009 says:
folk guitar
R i c k says:
or real guitar?
Brendan 2009 says:
like real guitar
R i c k says:
i mean is for ps2 har?
Brendan 2009 says:
Brendan 2009 says:
real actual guitar
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
tell u
Brendan 2009 says:
ur guitar hero corrupted thier minds
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
derrick lee, I am gonna kill u
R i c k says:
wat guitar they buy?
Brendan 2009 says:
R i c k says:
they duno the codes how they ply?
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
i dun care
Brendan 2009 says:
now i am scolding you
Brendan 2009 says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
i aready have to suffer guitar hero crap in the computer, itunes, ps2 and my car(ryan's CD)
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
now I have to hear 'rock like a hurricane' acoustic version
R i c k says:
nice brothers u hav there
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
i am going insane
Brendan 2009 says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
and you know how annoying it is when they cannot stop strumming their fucking guitar
Brendan 2009 says:
they no talent one, damn it, annoying
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
they duno the codes they still strum it?
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
I am hoping that the strings break and scratch their face in the process
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
i have bad headache ah
Brendan 2009 says:
not only i am sick, now i think i am gonna get brain cancer
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
R i c k says:
tats bad
R i c k says:
tell ur mum lar
R i c k says:
Brendan 2009 says:
my mom
Brendan 2009 says:
Brendan 2009 says:
no sense can penetrate that titanium stubborn skull of hers
Brendan 2009 says:
that's what you get when you have two bulls as parents
Brendan 2009 says:
please derrick
Brendan 2009 says:
why are you such a bad influence on them
Brendan 2009 says:
I rather allow them to be those anime manga geeks like gary or something, at least they will shut up
Brendan 2009 says:
sure, i will have to readjust spaces for my charmed and chick lit collection
Brendan 2009 says:
but at least they shut up
Brendan 2009 says:
help me
Brendan 2009 says:
you started this
R i c k says:

Friday, January 02, 2009

Happy New Year, *cough* *cough*... *sneeze*

Hey guys!!!!!!!
Its 2009
*cough* *cough*
Yeah, I am sick
Apparently I partied too much
sort of
Plus I drank a small pint of beer
Like Quarter pint?
Now I am like very sick
My back is irritatingly painful
I have been coughing none stop
I sneeze a lot
And generally feel like CRAP!!!!!!!!
So for the first two and possibly 3 days of 2009
I am sick
Lying in bed
With lots and lots of orange juice, chicken soup and icky yucky porridge being served in front of me.
I like breakfast in bed
But breakfast in bed with porridge, no thanks
I hate porridge
I like claypot porridge but not porridge.