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Saturday, February 27, 2010

One Down, Fifty Three To Go.

The 26th February of 2010 was just beginning in the wee hours of the morning. Most of us are sound asleep in our respective beds, our minds leaving our bodies and are transported into an alternate reality where we live and experience what it plays for us that night. As for others, like the stubborn youth of Kuching who embrace the nightlife even though this is a quiet suburban town, it was a time to either keep the night alive or call it a night. For Jason Kiu, who decided to call it a night and return home, probably like any normal weekend nightout where he would drive home, left his keys on the table, change and go to bed . The problem is, that night was not normal as he never made it home. Instead, his car rammed through a fence, hit a tree and then it tumbled upside down, with Jason in it. This is when, Jason's story has reached it's finale.

I, however was oblivious towards everything. First of all, I wasn't close to Jason. We were primary schoolmates and we attend the same economics and quantitative analysis class together in Swinburne. Even then, I wouldn't try and talk to him. Basically because I cannot find any common ground with him. So it was like that, the only time we talk was when he told me, Bianca doing my homework for me was a brilliant idea.
It was brilliant... till my mid terms flopped, that is.

When Jenny Chew (if you refer to my previous post from way back at 2006, you would know who she is, one half of the now defunct Jeneric) posted the news on her status update, I was sceptical at first, with things like this, you need to be awfully sure about it but then again a normal logical person would not post and R.I.P wish on her status update, just for kicks right? It was midday by then.

Just to be sure, I checked with Guiliano, Kiat Seng and Evon, who confirmed to me that Jason Kiu was the first person of the 2002 class of Six White of SJK Chung Hua No.4... to pass away. Still in denial, as my own grandmother passed away 17 days ago and the fact that I am turning 20 19.5 in a week, I called my cousin, Derrick for another confirmation who was also sceptical too. However in an hour, he replied and told me that it was true. Obviously, the news sent me into a confused and frantic state, fortunately, there was no vomitting like the night my dad told me, my grandmother passed away and I was one of the last people to see her conscious.

Obviously with a guy who was stuck with me in the same class for six years, he played a significant part in my early life and the fact that I know that there will be people in our class that will not be able to, do not bother to or too emotional to attend the funeral, I have decided to propose the idea to my friends to send flowers to his family. Evon was on board with the idea and together we quickly worked out the stuff like gathering people to pitch in for the wreath as it's pretty darn expensive to personally send one and the time and location of the funeral. Sending flowers is the least someone can do to show that he or she cares, it's not about face, it's to show that you care, in the end the flowers won't last long anyway and are meant to last a day, if not a few hours.

Basically, everything was pretty much said and done with only the flowers and writing to go till I hit towards a bit of a snag, my parents said that since my grandmother isn't dead long enough, I, should have no hand in this issue whatsoever. As you can see, they are pretty much too late for that but in the end, family is more important, so I sent some advice to Evon and she basically backed me up and covered for me with everything from there. Thanks, by the way. In the end, his lineage of classmates from primary school till college were represented by the flowers.

I started everything is not because you know, I am fake since I started this whole thing but I barely even know the guy. It's because, well having a dead grandmother makes you feel super emotional. When my grandmother died, I was hoping to receive messages of condolences, words of encouragement, flowers and visits from friends, not to show off to my family, but to have that comfort zone of knowing that you have friends who have your back. Guess what? No condolonces, no word of encouragement and yeah pretty much nothing, I have to tell them that they died and all I got were a few short ones. When things like these happen, you don't think straight, so you felt alone and thinking that your friends are well, a bunch of aimless, zero initiative, boring, passive little shitheads, this especially happens when you happen to be an imaginative drama queen. So I didn't want this to happen to Jason, with his family thinking that aside from a few close friends and family, his classmates doesn't give a damn, that's why I came up with the flower idea.

Later that night, my old NS mate, Ben found out the news made online. So I read it and yeah, it hit past a fence, hit a tree and tumbled upside down, very Desperate Housewives worthy, that is until you found out that it is actually reality. The next day, went to my grandma's place (well, it's now my uncle's place, formerly my grandma's) and read the Chinese newspapers as they are like the tabloid version of local news. It's just like it was written right out of a scene in Desperate Housewives.

Statistically, it's common for men aged between 16-25 to die. This is because our testosterone levels are high and we are usually thrill seekers, looking out for fun and living the life of cigarettes, alcohols, drugs, speed and sex. Normally, it is expected for someone like Jason Kiu to die in a vehicular accident because it is so common in Asian countries where our traffic laws are a lot more loose compared to our more developed counterparts, but when I found out that Jason Kiu actually died in a car accident, I was as shocked as everyone else. It's because it's normal for someone like him to die but you would not expect it to actually be him.

Parents will definitely use his death as an example to all boys, they will put assumptions like he was probably drunk, speeding, high, not wearing a seat belt at the time, etc etc etc. We do not know what actually happened that night, but we all know that we have lost a friend, a classmate, a comrad, a teammate and to those closest to him, a son and a brother and generally, just a guy whose life was tragically cut short. For those of you who were in his final chapter and especially those in the final pages, I hope that you do not let him die in vain, let his death be an example to you people and be a lot more careful next time. After all, your life is the most precious thing in this world to you. There is no wrong in having a little fun once in a while but please do not allow your misjudgments and fallacies be the cause of your death. Remember the Chinese saying: The Road is like the Tiger's Mouth.

If you die, you are not the one having problems, since you are dead, but you will be everyone else's. People will have to prepare for your funeral, find a site as your burial ground, hold a service, entertain guests, send flowers and transport for you and if you are a praticing Buddhist, its even worse. There's chanting that will mysteriously make you weep like crying little girls, you are basically stuck at the deceased house for the next few days, you also have to keep a wheel flame of paper burning continuously and you have to assure that you have a continuous chain of joss sticks burning. What if it rains on the day of your burial, somemore? What if you are Hakka and forced to be vegan for a week? Then, there is the grieving period and the five stages of grief. Then of course what if it's your friend's birthday next week or even tomorrow or your mom's, your girlfriend, your... you get the point. See? Death is so inconvenient, so at least what you should do is to keep yourself safe.

Once you are dead, you are dead, game over. There is no reset, there is no restart, there is no infinite lives like the Metal Slug games. Once you are dead, there is nothing else to say but... may he rest in peace.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Creative Slump

These days, I am on a creative slump
I have no ideas
My creativity of writing is on an all time low
I honestly have no idea what to write right now
After clicking the 'create a new post' icon, I am just staring at the screen after that
I did type and all
but it was either time constraints or uncertainty that made me back out
I have honestly not been fulfilling my blogging duties as of late and I am seriously sorry to all my brendzfans for this.
I am basically in limbo.

I can blame the death of my grandmother
I can blame the fact that I am not studying in a university overseas
I can blame the fact that I live in a home that serves no purpose of creative inspiration what so ever
I can blame a school with loads of brainless, aimless, retarded, badly dressed students with brains the size of peanuts, egos the size of a black dildo, the open-minded-ness of a fresh living clam, as easily angered as wearing red and walking in front of a bull, as cheap as misers can be and fashion sense that screams and begs to be verbally thrashed by Joan Rivers, Micheal Kors and Khloe Kardashian.
But honestly, that is the reason that I am not blogging these days, lack of inspiration.

You can obviously still see my witty charm and sharp tongue on this.
But I have no drive
It's as if, the sadness and disappointments that I have faced in life have literally sapped every drop of inspiration in my vast and oceanic mind.
Apparently, it is evident that Chester and Jake are probably facing the same problems as I do, since they don't blog as much as they used to.

I am in limbo
and I hope to get out of this
as fast as possible
Till then, Brendzfans
Hold on and don't give up on me.
I love you guys.

Be Sexy,
Brendan Goh

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Welcome to Brendzview














Friday, February 12, 2010

Brendzblog On Indefinite Hiatus

My Grandma has passed away
Alexander McQueen killed himself
Life is a bitch
I am not celebrating Chinese New Year this year
I cannot view my favorite TV shows online anymore
So I need to settle all this shit first before I blog more,
won't be long...
I hope...

Friday, February 05, 2010

What the fuck is it about getting coupled up again?

Out with friends, few sips of lager (them not me, I do not want to look like a bloated clownfish the next morning), we started talking about relationships. You know, guys, girls and the occasional gay in the mix.
Suddenly, one of them said, Brendan, why don't you get a girlfriend? We all have one and why don't you get one yourself?

Me, being a single person almost all 19 years of my life, do sometimes feel lonely at times and do indeed need to have some companionship. Sometimes I want to experience the love that most of my friends. classmates, and whatever sluts around the university or my old high school are having. You know, holding hands, sneaking kisses, giving each other incessantly annoying pet names that suddenly become extremely adorable when you are in love because your hormones are taking over your body. Suddenly, you feel that the world seems like a much better place, you suddenly see daisies and fields of flowers and the person you love in pure white prancing among the fields of eternal greenery. Instead of the actual fact that there is heavy pollution in this world, the field you are dancing was probably caused by a concoction of pheromones and sex hormones plus maybe a bit of ecstacy and bloody people think throwing molotov cocktails into a church is considered something cool. Plus, lets not forget Haiti.

So instead of giving the lame excuses like my mom would kill me, I wanna concentrate on my studies, my great aunts will give me creepy, expectant, baby-making looks towards me, my great aunts will embarass me and started gushing all over and... so on so forth with most of the blame on my family members. I decided to tell the truth... I am happy as I am.

It's true and the small fact that I am obviously not ready to take shit from someone again.

Relationships are not some fantasy walk in the park, where you date, you fuck and you go and live a fairytale happily ever after. Relationships are not some stupid Disney movie aimed at little girls. Relationships or relationshits are well, full of shit. You have to date and see the compatibility, you have to show you care, guys, you have to treat the girls and pay, you have to pick her up, you have to do this and do that to make her happy and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla which ends with, you have to put up with her shit, especially when it is 'that' time of the month.

If you are talking me, getting a boyfriend, well, guys are sexual beings, this means that most gay relationships are either based on money or sex. It is very rare for you to find the bond that gay celebs share like Elton and David, Ellen and Portia or Mark from Westlife and whoever he is dating or the late Stephen Gately and  his partner, because face it, most gay people are a bunch of horndogs, its very hard to find love. Plus a guy my age is in no where near towards the fact of settling down and live the life of a Desperate Housewife or in this case, Househusband.

So here I am, 19, still single and going strong. I am not looking but when fate decides to hook me up, then so be it. Go with the flow, that's what I say.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I am worse than a girl when it comes to shopping.

It's true, it's very very true
After 2 days of going shopping, I have not even bought one single thing
Not even one
I have my shirts done, all I need is some pants and shoes for the coming Lunar Valentines
However, my collection of shirts for the New Year is a different story
You see
I have a black Topman long sleeved tee and a black and grey H&M shirt from London that was brutally kidnapped from me and chained to my mother's closet for 11 months.
If it is this time last year, I would be preparing my trip to London.
Then a pink top from Topman, bought at KL
A purple shirt from Topman, bought at Singapore
and a special tee from the Gold Coast that is about to make an upcoming post on Brendzblog

My pants, well... zilch, nada, zero nothing
Shoes, none either.

I am thinking of something Esprit that cost 300 bucks.
But 300 bucks for a pair of jeans, in my parent's terms is like buying those over priced peanuts you get in your hotel room.
Or in the Swinburne student's parking issue, it's like charging 10 Australian Dollars for an hour's worth of parking space.
So it is really obvious that I better not buy it
My parents will probably send me to the slaughter house.

So instead in order for making my dad happy, I decided to go to places where poor people go to buy their clothes.
I am talking jeans under 80 bucks.
I did found some nice ones, they really did fit me nicely, IN FRONT
At the back, my booty is as protuding and enlarged like J'Lo's ass.
Why do I have such a large ass?

You know this issue would be literally solved if I just went to Spring and splurge all over Esprit, Quicksilver and those jeans at Parkson that costs 150 bucks.
But NO!
I have to be a nice little family boy, helping parents save money
Come to think of it, I would probably save my parents loads of petrol with all that driving.

I have to find THE pants, nice pants, pants that fit me nicely.
Which as usual is as confusingly scary as my wallet hunt back at the Gold Coast
I went back to the same stores numerous times before making an effing decision.
Oh well, what to do
I want to be perfect.
Well as prefect as a dud as I am can be
Man, I really need to start working out
But it's so hard to not have people around
It sucks, no support, no guidance
Just you and your weak, futile, pathetic discipline.
What am I supposed to do?
When I get upset, I eat and after that I get lazy.
Fuck my life, screw my life, I am screwed.

You know this wouldn't happen if I don't have a budget
I could just spree all I want
Buy this and buy that without a care in the world
Having loads of fun.
I know I am a shopaholic, I admit it
and I embrace it.
Shopping is fun and rewarding and you would definitely get something back and feel the satisfaction.
Plus and besides,
It's better than those stupid people buying 4D everyday.
Those people should have spent their money on helping the people of Haiti then just buying stupid numbers and hope for a windfall that 99% of the time, will never happen.