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Saturday, February 09, 2008

Monotonous conversations
These conversations are very lame, monotonous and dumb.
Not to mention repetitious
Ppl (usually 26 and above) will ask these same stupid questions
year after year after year after every stupid year
Seems like they have Alzheimers or sumthin.
Plus I have the stupid National Service this year
I have to answer more stupid questions

Here are a few examples
A stands for Alzheimers relatives
B stands for me
The brackets signs ( ) represents thoughts

Monotonous Conversation 1
A: Wah, Brendan. You soooooooo big liao ah!!!
B: Um yeah.
A: You grow up so fast hoh!
B: Um yeah. (Isn't that the same meaning?)
A: What are you planning to study?
B: Mass Communications
A: What is that?
B: Its anything related to the field of media that involves communications
A: Oh, what can you be if you take that course?
B: I can be a television producer, an advertiser, a PRO or a journalist
A: Oh, why don't you go to the medical field? Being a doctor is very good. You get to earn a lot of money. Plus as a doctor, you get a lot of respect.
B: (What is it with these chinese people and their affection towards doctors?) Well, I think in the life of the media is more interesting
A: What about engineering?
B: (If its not doctor then it is engineering.) I hate physics and I am not interested in it
A: Aiya, Brendan. These days you cannot follow your dreams one. It is safer to have a nice and stable life.
I was once like you, bla bla bla bla bla... You must take my advice hah.
B: uh-huh. ok. yeah. sure I will take your advice (yeah right)

Monotonous Conversation 2
A: Wah, Brendan. You grow up sop big ah!!!
B: (here we go again). Um yeah
A: Got girlfriend or not? Surely this old got girlfriend one
B: No I don't have 1
A: Got wife?
B: No (rolls eyes)
A: Aiyo, then how can u get married leh? You don't want children meh?
B: No.
A: Its better for you to have kids, afterward when you are old, they will take care of you.

Monotonous Conversation 3
A: Brendan, how is NS
B: Its okay, a little horrible
A: Tough or not?
B: Its okay, you get used to it
A: Aiyo, I pity you, already shoot gun or not?
B: No after chinese new year
A: Shoot gun good, let you experience it
B: I am not shooting the gun
A: Why?
B: Cause I don't want to
A: Oh, ok. I hear you cry boh
B: Yeah, I did
A: Why, did people bully you there?
B: No, I cry because they cut my hair
A: Let me see.
B: Okay. (takes off beanie)
A: Not bad leh, hiya, will grow back one lah
B: Ok

Monotonous Conversation 4
A: The food at NS god or not? I hear you eat 6 times a day, must be very the ho mia ho?
B: No the food there is horrible
A: Why so horrible?
B: Because the food is always spicy, there is always fish and the kuih there is weird
A: Oh How?
B: (starts describing the food)
A: Oh, so always Malay food there lah?
B: Sometimes got Indain like Briyani Rice
A: No chinese food ah?
B: No.
A: No pork ah?
B: No pork.
A: Aiyo, how can u live like this, pork very important to us chinese 1 boh!
B: Its okay.

Monotonous Conversation 5
A: So tell me your daily activities
B: (Tells daily activities)
A: The classes like kindergarten one ah? Aiyo, waste taxpayers money only
B: Yeah
A: I thought you weren't allowed to bring handphone?
B: The coaches keep for us
A: Oh, so u can use in the weekend la!
B: Yeah.
A: Not scared got stolen meh?
B: Everybody has their own phone.
A: You better be careful ah!
B: Okay
A: They keep your handphone in a maggi mee cardboard box?
B: Yeah
A: Aiyo, such high quality phone being kept in a place like that, afterward spoiled then you know!

For the past three days, I have been having these conversations with my relatives and people I don't know. Thank you, God that Chinese New Year is celebrated once a year for 3 to 4 days. I cannot stand it if it is celebrated for 15 days consecutively.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Things to bring back to NS
1. CD player
2. CDs
3. Batteries
4. Loads of EXPENSIVE junk foods (beef jerky)
5. Loads of EXPENSIVE chocolates (hersheys, belgian choc and fererro rocher)
6. Loads of Mags!! (New Idea, Harper's Bazaar, Cleo, Seventeen)
7. Sony Ericsson K618i
I lost 3kg!!!!
I lost 3 kg!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, its official!!
I lost 3 kg!!!!
Maybe national service is not bad after all!
Thanks to Carmen's hopefully accurate scale, I now know the truth.
Yeah, i am happy but I think I am going to gain them back
if I don't stop stuffing my face!!!
Anyway, we discussed the god and the bad between 2 camps
Which is my camp (betong) and the Jaclyn's and Jee Wen's camp (bau)
I dunno but both camps have their pros and cons.
So I let God handle this
I don't even wanna think about it
I will just accept whatever's happening.
Anyway, I only got 2 angpaus for today.
Which sucks
Then again, it is the year of the rat
which means bad luck for the horse.
Xin Nian Kuai Le!!!!!
Hey everyone!!!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone who is celebrating out there.
(Okay, that makes me feel like such an alien)
Fireworks were up all night
Actually I don't think I should call those fireworks, explosives seem much more relevant
Although yeah some are actually fireworks that shoot to the sky
Exploding in the air in an array of colours (and smoke)
The one night where I actually don't care that these things are actually polluting the earth and scaring the shit out of my dogs.
But most of the fireworks are just noise, literally
They just explode in a loud bang!
I really think that there were grenades outside or sumthin
Then all that is left is a hole and a smoky fog that really smells.
And I thought the methane produce by my NS roomates are bad
(methane = gas from farting)
And of course lets not forget the angpaus!!!
Not much $$$ this year though
Buncha cheepskates,
Oh well, there is always next year
As usual I will have a lot of fun
However, there will be no Valentines day party this year though
As you know, by the tenth I will be resuming my prison sentece
That's all
xoxo Brendan

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say: Rejoice!
This exerpt (is it called a exerpt?) from the bible has pretty much kept me sane for the past few weeks
Now to all Christians (and pretty much everyone in the world)
knows that the word rejoice means to look the positive in something even though the problems seem impossible.
For example

A You are gona get run over by a car
Bad part:
Oh shit, I am gonna die
Good part:
I will meet with the Lord, its my destiny
If not, at least I can stay in an air-conditioned hospital and eat great hospital food.

B Your parents are picking you up early for CNY
Bad part
Oh SHIT! My parents are gonna drive me like a slave horse as if NS hasen't done that already
Good Part
MSN, Youtube, Myyearbook, Friendster
Plus my big comfy bed!!!!!

As for Malaysians, they think Rejoice is a brand of shampoo
and should not be used in the English Language essay
If you don't believe me?
Just ask my bro
There is very little time for TV at NS
Obviously with full of activities all day to bore you to death.
Anyway, most of the time is given to those losers who watch football and video zonkers
Which obviously is pointless
Oh yeah did I tell you that there is NO star world, mtv, E! or bbc
Not to mention the movies?
So my life has pretty much ended over there.
I felt like I wanna cry

Anyway, I don't get about people watching soccer
I mean, don't get me wrong
I love to PLAY soccer but I don't like to WATCH it.
See I am a person who TAKES ACTION and not YELL IN FRONT OF THE TV.
Just so you know,
1. They can't hear you
2. They don't care about you
3. They are making a lot of cash
4. They don't even know that Malaysians watch the EPL or La Liga.

The people over there, usually those jungle kids
from some nasty place where they don't even know about msn, blogs or even a COMPUTER
are hollering in front of the screen like a buncha wild animals

Its stupid really
I don't get it with man and balls
But I think I have a theory
Men play balls to show their masculinity and gutso
Its also to search for their inner testosterone that they have lost
Lets look at the stats between me and most football lovers

Exhibit A
I go in front of the stage, say what I feel and have the guts to face a crowd
They holler in a crowd, saying crappy things about you
but when it comes to standing in a stage alone,
You could litterally see that they have no balls at all

Exhibit B
When I like a girl, I ask her out, right in front and then see how it goes from there
They write love letters, ask someone else (usually me) to talk to them or to get their names and phone numbers.
Or even just to look at them
Are they that shy to introduce themselves?
If u like the girl, let her know you and not your friend
Cause some of your friends are oppurtunist
They will snag some for themselves
Another thing girls phone numbers and guys too
Never simply give other people's phone number without their PERMISSION.

There are already two facts.
There are more but these two are the strongest
And these two are enough to make a statement and prove a point.

Ohyeah, I don't like people criticizing football coaches
These people have a job to do
If u have what it takes, write a personal letter to them and issue a challenge
Although usually they have no time for that
But one day, if an oppurtunity presents itself
I will drag one of those kinds of people to coach and do strategy with a football team.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

I am back Bitches!!!!
Oh yeah!!!
Guess who's back
Uh huh
Oh yeah
I am back
THE RETURN OF BRENDAN GOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!