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Friday, November 30, 2007

Experiences of a normal high school student in an ultra competitive high school that reaks with kiasuism or the sore loser syndrome.
Seriously, this pandemic is happening around the countries around Asia.
The seriously high standards of those nerdy, blood-sucking, arrogant vultures that usually occupy or should I say squeeze into the elite classes have caused a major gap between the good and the average.
This disease commonly affects countries like Malaysia, Korea, Japan, China, Taiwan and of course, Singapore.
These countries are usually filled with a lot of slit eyes and tanned skin people who are known as chinese
The countries' leaders tried to push the importance of education so hard that it really turns parents in a mass of chaotic mothers who pray ever so valiantly till the thought of their child's failure has sent numerous panic attacks that some have to be escorted by ambulances.
Or to put it simply
Asian countries try to make learning so important that it turns mamas as cuckoo as squirrel poo and pray like shit everyday till they KOed because they scared that their kid flunks.
Honestly, if you don't believe me, here is one example of infamous people who have serious cases
1. Almost all 5 science 1 students

Seriously, they are plain nuts
Almost everytime I saw them,
They are literally engrossed to their books
It seems that SPM has rooted them in a position that they did not even know that it was time to go and take the exams
Its effing scorching and sweltering outside
and they still got their eyes stuck into the book
Like a pervert analysing a porn magazine
except its not a porn magazine which is why its so creepy.
These people scare me seriously
First, they don't wanna try alcohol
and reading textbooks is their form of pleasure
Eww and creepy.

Here are some situations from my personal experiences after all I am pretty much the normal one there.
In fact, so normal that they think I am abnormal.

Situation 1
Brendan was sitting at his table, reading his biology bible (It really is a Goddamn Bible!) An infected person, lets call him student A comes along and saw Brendan reading. So he tries to interact with a conversation that does not start with a proper greeting eg. hey, yo, wassup, dude, hello, hi, yo shizzle ma shizzle.

Student A: Wow, so hardworking! Study biology liao ah?
(Actual meaning: Oh, looks like he is starting early on biology. He never does that before though)

Brendan: Um yeah, haven't you started? Its in 3 days
(Actual meaning: Yeah, I am fucking hardworking! What's your problem?)

Student A: No. I haven't even started lah. I actually been playing DOTA at cyber/ sleeping throughout the whole day/ 'up' on msn the whole day/ studying halfway but fell asleep (or any other relevant lies) yesterday. Aiyo, I know will not do good/fail liao loh!
(Actual meaning: I don't need to study for bio and can pop up and A1, while you studying all day might only pop up and A2)

Brendan: Oh, its okay. I know you will do well. Anyway good luck to ya!
(Actual meaning: Yeah right, you probably studied like shit throughout the whole night and now you are boasting your not so amazing intellect. Anyway, good luck to you cause losers like you will need it to find a way to get a life, seriously!)

Situation 2
Brendan is now listening to Maxt aka his iPod. When Student A who is the same student walks in


Student A: Wah, so free liao ah? Finish syllabus liao ah?Now listening to Britney Spears on your iPod ah?
(Actual meaning:Are you really that smart? Lazing around with your fucking iPod. I know I don't have. No need to show off.)

Brendan: Oh, no. Just taking a break.
(Actual meaning: Make up your damn mind! Yesterday you say that I am too hardworking, now you say I am too lazy? Sheesh!)

Student B who ever loves to be the kepo or nosy one chimes in

Student B: Wah, you still have time to take a break?
(Actual meaning: You still have time to take a break? I have been busting my ass the whole night and your slouching around with your iPod?)

Brendan: Yeah, I need a little rest to refresh. Can't stick to the books all day need a little entertainment to get the energy back.
(Actual meaning: Yeah, I am taking a break. Not like you superficial vultures)

Student A: Then you must be sooooooooooo confident hoh?
(Actual meaning: You cocky asshole! Hope you get A2 and lower)

Brendan: Its just a short break. Don't worry about me. You guys go back and do what you are doing. I will catchup later.
(Actual meaning: Dude! Its just for like half an hour. A little rest won't hurt. I know you guys are doing things anaerobically but I prefer the aerobic way. Can't function with an empty tank of gas)

Situation 3
Brendan is reading his poems and short stories for English. Student A ever the opportunist. Pops in

Student A: Wah. So hardworking
(Actual meaning: Well, its the same as the above)

Brendan: Oh, hi Student A
(Actual meaning: Oh great, not him again. What is it this time? Does he ever shut up?)

Student A: So clever still need to study ah?
(Actual meaning: Boy, are you insecure. Still studying something you are very good at. You got no balls!)

Brendan: Well, its just to refresh my memories. Why aren't you doing it?
(Actual meaning: Everyone forgets things sometimes. Why don't you buzz off. Trying to concentrate)

Student A: Aiya, admit it la you so kiasu. Why study the whole book. Puan Malizan say she predict 'Monsoon History'
(Actual meaning: I am trying to belittle you and make you go off the wrong track)

Brendan: Me? Kiasu? No. I just love English so much that I just love reading them all
(Actual meaning: Nice try pal. Don't think that I am too gullible. Anyway its just English. Its not like I am vying for a Nobel Prize in Litreature. Sheesh!)

Situation 4
After the exam, Brendan packed his bags and is now waiting for his mom. Student A wants another battle.

Student A: How was the test?
(Actual meaning: How badly did you do?)

Brendan: It was okay. I guess. You?
(Actual meaning: I am telling you humbly that I kicked serious ass)

Student A: Aiya, not so well la. A few question I dunno. Simply answer
(Actual meaning: So what cocky boy? I did well too. I am saying this to loosen your confidence)

Brendan: You are just being insecure. Be confidant. You can get A. Don't worry.
(Actual meaning: Nice try. Why don't you just give up seriously. I am worry about the ulcers that may develop in your stomach with all that stress and jealousy)

Well, these are the four common ones. Seriously, kiasuism is a disease and should be stopped. For your mental stability and health, never ever be a sore loser. If you are, you can always throw tantrums. I do it when I am pissed off.

3 comments:

LuKe said...

cool... love it... muahaha...
hope that kiasu guy is not me... hahahha.....

JaMie said...

can u like, umm, don't steal other ppl's ideas while blogging? i'm sure u read daniel's blog. duh!

~Albert Tan @ Bert Bert~ said...

Dude, you're so lame! Nobody likes copycats. You're the Kiasu one. You want a SMACK?? I'll smack you so hard..your medulla oblongata would be shaken to it's very foundation. Stop copying Daniel's blog! Stupid bastard...