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Monday, November 16, 2009

Why my posts aren't like others

Okay, by now are maybe like a year or two ago, you probably would think this about me.
Brendan Goh has a blog
Brendan Goh has fluent English
Brendan Goh indeed does has typos in his blog posts that he doesn't bother to check them, therefore causing retarded-ness and confusion when reading.
But then you ask

Where are all the pictures,
Where are all the reviews of local restaurants
Where are the bloody camwhore pictures of you and some brilliant hot chick with humungous breast who has an affinity towards Canada *coughcoughbiancacoughngcoughcoughpohheavyheavycoughcoughliancoughcorderocoughheavyiknowyourcoughfullname*

Well, there are no pictures of me with some big breasted Canadian Asian hot chick on my lap because...
Okay, I am not gay
I know you think its gay because guys should have hot chicks on their laps
Plus those crazy fantasies of me and some Latino/Korean/White/Pinoy/Japanese/Samoan melting pot hybrid of a boyfriend who probably never exists and even if he does, we would never meet or he is straight.
Here are some excuses reasons that I will never do such things

1. I am basically an angel, well an acid tongued angel but still, I am an angel.

I RARELY go clubbing, me in a club is as rare as me getting caught wearing my sweatpants inside out while going shopping for some groceries. Okay, maybe that's not the right thing to say, uh... ah hah! It is as rare as well it doesn't rain in Chinese New Year. The only time I hit the clubs was during New Years and that's it. Why? Well first of all, it is not G.A.Y. which is awesome and fun. Clubs in my suburban town of Kuching are usually packed with people. When I mean people, I mean people who have no taste in fashion, slutty little minxes and also stupid parents and grandmothers scaring the shit about me about stories of people going into clubs, get into fights and then die there. One of the stories that I can remember very well is that there was this girl who got in with a bad boy but the girl wants to break up with the bad boy, so the girl asks another guy who was studying overseas but came back for a visit and also to help her out and settle, so overseas guy did as the chick told him to do, he got banged up, went to a coma and died. Voila! The trend that sets my fears in Kuching nightclubs.

2. My friends are angels too.

It is true my friends are like me, angels. I mean I am the angle that can be a fallen angel but these people are probably like God's elite little group of goody two shoes. Basically I am a good boy that can go bad, they are people that will never go bad. Therefore, happy and content = boredom. What am I to do? I am very good at choosing friends, cause I always choose the ones who are happy and content/ boring. Maybe because of the fact that the ones hanging in clubs are usually unable to communicate with me in my level of- obviously/ apparently/ although I do not think so-English.

3. I am not a very popular blogger.

I don't get hundreds of comments everytime I put up a post, usually I am lucky if I even have one or two!!! My form of blogging mainly is about me and my life, it is my opinion only. Plus, my form of humour is usually a bit dark and which some people usually do not get. Moreover, I blog for me. I don't blog for anyone else. Obviously I am happy to write a review or an advertorial but I don't get much feed here, most people read my blog are from Malaysia and the United States, yet no one bothers to leave a comment or click the ads.

4. My life is not interesting
I don't own a gym, I am not the blogger of the year in Nuffnang's awards, I obviously have not met the Black Eyed Peas, Tony Fernandes does not sponsor me free flights. I also have not met Lewis Hamilton, currently dating an American, dyed my hair blonde and having my own web show. I also do not have two published books, I don't post pictures of my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend who is so obviously below me and thrash them all over facebook. I also am not a student in NYU, though I definitely wished that I am one and I do not get the opportunity to go to London everytime holidays kick in, I only get to go to London like once in, well a lifetime. So screw me.

So yeah, I am definitely not that popular but that's who I am. It's my life and currently my life is for my parents to screw cause obviously I have not gotten to an overseas university. If I graduate from Swinburne, well, it is the end of the world people, prepare to suffer the 2012 thing.

1 comment:

Jake Lo said...

Okay, just to prove I'm still reading, here's a comment. :)