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Sunday, November 01, 2009

How to behave in a cinmea.

How to behave in the cinema

  1. Watch the fucking movie
  2. Eat the fucking food
  3. Sit like any other normal person should
  4. Laugh when apporpriate
  5. Silent phone
  6. Keep kids under the age of five at home
  7. Seats are tight, keep legs together
  8. Refrain shaking legs
Right, this is how you are supposed to behave in the cinema.
But did most people do it? No.

I was watching Micheal Jackson's 'This is it' yesterday
First time I went there with my mom
Was it an enjoyable experience?
NO.
But we will leave that for another post
I will screw MBO, Spring and SESCO later
Right now, I want to screw those bloody bastards in the cinema who interrupted my inspiration of the cheography and creativity of the late Micheal Jackson.

Anyway, I was sitting there and guess what during the whole time?
I did not mind the guy was being energetic, after all I respect that
But sooner or later I found out that the bastard was mocking him
Honestly, I was trying to enjoy my movie and that fucking bastard screamed in the fucking theather
And you know it is hard to concentrate when the moves in protrayed in the dance becomes synonymous with cheesy 80s porn
Thank you bastard grunting sex noises in the cinema.

Then there are those bloody fucking children
These children should be left at home or grandma's or somewhere
Screaming and whining and being annoying as usual over spilled popcorn
Screw those children
Honestly, Spring should have a daycare center to dump these stupid kids at.

Then there are those bloody ones that are too old to be stuffed there
They take AGES and I mean AGES to choose a fucking seat
Those bloody fucking no brain, badly dressed little whores with their shoes screaming 'I am a young, underage Asian whore who charges 10 bucks an hour and 50 a night! Woo hoo! Oh I am feeling especially slutty today!Fuck and Suck for 30 Bucks! Plus I have no pussy hair!'

I honestly do not find people eating in the cinema, after all I do too
but there are people who want to display their fabulous chewing power by chewing loudly in the theather
And slurping their drinking cups like noodles
God, I cannot tell you how many times I feel that I should be the first Malaysian to murder someone with an iPhone.

Then there are idiots who forget to silent their phones
You know, one ring ruins the whole moment
Which sucks.
Screw those people who forget to silent their phones
Hoenstly Kuching Cinemas should have one of those societal marketing adverts like the cinemas in the UK.
I don't care if it's 20 Ringgit, I call it 4 Pounds
They display noises of ringing cell phones, idiots talking loudly and crying babies.
Then a slogan and silence.
Cool right?

Then, there are people who cannot seem to sit probably
I had one bad experience is that there was some idiot shaking his legs and causing my whole chair to vibrate, I don't know if he was kicking my chair or whatever
But I sure as hell feel like giving that person a good old Pedigree on the steps.

Then there is Ryan, who although is my brother is absolutely annoying.
Narrating to me
I can watch the fucking movie and do not need you to narrate, so shut the fuck up you little bastard.

God, honestly, if you want piece and quite, go buy a damn DVD player and a large screen TV, renovate a room into a home theater and have your very own popcorn machine.
There, silence and you no need to stuff yourself in the crappy cinema again.

Right, wait for a few days and I will tell you why I shold screw MBO, Spring and SESCO.

Oh cast of my life update!

Main Cast

Brendan
Belinda
Siaw Wee
Guiliano
Jia Jin
Yuyun
Kiat Seng
Alvin
Evon

Recurring Cast
Guhan
Doreen
Eric
Joseph
Debaters Club
Cheryl

2 comments:

Martin said...

where's my name =))

Brendan Goh said...

You are one of the former cast... since u not even here anymore. Miss u lots, lol