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Monday, August 01, 2011

First day of school

Well, the pilot is still awaiting green light
I still do not know I am officially allowed to stay here because of the credits
But I wanted to, I need to
Because I feel like a new chapter of my life is starting right now
Having it cut short and then return home
It would suck so bad
I can only hope things get better from here
Something unexpectedly cruel happened last night
I could not believe it

Last night,
I have to say
I was not expecting what had happened
I don't want to talk about it
Since its a personal and emotional issue right now
There is no one else needing to worry about it
I am still trying to get my emotions in check
I have learned that I am overtly expressive
But controlling and stabilizing my emotions are definitely a challenge
I lose my temper easily, I cry easily
I definitely feel vulnerable and its hard to build a shell around myself
I still do not know who I am more angry at
Myself or that person

Its a real eye opener
You thought you know someone
But you actually don't
Heartbreaking essentially

But I am definitely not letting it get to me
If getting rid of the past
Is to move forward
Then I will

I am here to study
I have to focus
I don't know whether I would be totally be honest and open
or just build up a wall
All I know is that
Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life
I am feeling good that I am here
I am ready to kick ass

2 comments:

Cassandra Ong said...

Nice to know you've got your priorities sorted out! ;)

Btw, I miss you uncle! I hope you'll be able to control your emotions better as time passes, as they say, time heals. :)

And I most certainly do hope that you'll get to stay back in Aus!

Brendan Goh said...

yeah auntie, i hope so too, my emotions still scrambled la