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Friday, September 10, 2010

Brendan from the Block

Time passes, as it passes things change whether we like it or not.
Little things that we take for granted, the sights we are so used to see, usually meant nothing but when a seriously life changing event occurs, it hits us hard.
Its like there is an elephant in the room, a tiny little speck of an elephant that we ignored and allowed to grow. Well, it grew and grew until it tramples us which is when we get our epiphanies or sudden realization of great truth.
We felt like we have been thrown into a curveball but its not. We allowed it to happen, we subconciously made it happen because ignorance leads to bliss where we got caught up in because of the comfort it brings where we store it way back into our minds that when that event happens we were in shock but only to remember moments after as the issue scrambles back to the forefront.

I realized that now, everything in Kuching is changing, even the small street where my grandma's house is. The old drain where I used to catch dragonflies is replaced by concrete
The plot of land where there used to be scorpions living there just opposite my grandma's house is now a plot of land for some business people to grow plants.
The once weedy plot is now replaced with plants in pots and gravel rocks.
The house that used to have rambutans dangling from the tree that we used to pluck from is now gone and now houses a bunch of idiotic Africans students who do nothing but drink, smoke and listen to horribly cheesy rock music
Nature as it seems, was just not in sync with modern globalization.
Even the people have changed, my grandma passed on, my dad shows serious signs of aging, my aunt moved back and my great aunt is currently in a phase of old age which I think will be genetic and will affect the women in my family.
I still feel like running up to my grandma's room to see her again.
Sometimes I even thought she was alive until I realized that she was already gone.

However, I am still glad that some things have not changed.
My grandma's room still smelled of old lady (loads of talcum powder)
The small path leads to the back where my great aunts live is still there
The moss and plants at that area never changes.
As I walk down that path, imagining myself as a seven year old, full of energy and running down the path, ignoring the risk that I will fall and scrape my knee and now as a nineteen year old still having that energy but now with wisdom to not run and potentially scrape my knee prefering to amble and take in the scenery instead, I felt at peace at that area.
It was a place of my childhood that stood still in time. Nothing changed.
It might not be the place that houses the fondest of memories as most of them are just about me walking from house to house
But for me, it serves as a portkey.
A portkey to send me back to when I can still hear my grandmother screaming my name to return home.
And currently, apart from my memories is the closest relation towards my childhood.

I can only hope that it never changes.
Like I said, people change. A part of me may still want to be that boy who runs around and screams like a mad man with a case of ADD, the me right now, wants to move on to other endeavours, other adventures and experiences that this town and that portkey can never provide.
Because that boy has dreams, big dreams and now, he wants those dreams to become reality. To make them a reality, he has to leave and gladly he will.
He will never forget that boy but he has to give what that boy wants and with that, he has to leave this godforsaken place.

The sacrifice we have to make for the sake of realizing our dreams is not easy but we must never forget our roots, that we will always be boys and girls with dreams. That I will still and always will be the Brendan from the Block.

3 comments:

Jake Lo said...

Yeah, it's always good to move forward and just let the past be the past.
Great post, Brendan!

Brendan Goh said...

thanks, was a having a great post drought for quite a while lol

Mysterious God Of Light said...

Now this inspires me a have a great family around, either in reality or the eternity world.

God Bless =)