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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Swinburne's Got Scandal

The following blog post is about to be presented in a seriously mind BLOWING manner, a serious EJACULATION of the mind containing the concentrated JUICES of creativity. Any thing written here is seriously fictional towards an actual situation that actually happened. If its too vulgar, then JACK OFF now or forever hold it to YOURSELF. As for the rest, I invite all of you to COME. This is a SOLO opinion but I am sure my fans would find this intellectually SATISFYING.

Okay, my dear Brendzblog Legionaires, I have always complained that my life here in Swinburne, aka the Pig Uni is extremely BORING. Seriously, nothing happens here, its very very peaceful... that is until now. With a new president promising change, the school's environment somehow changed as well. It has becomed more of a mixture between Grey's Anatomy and those lovable CW trash Gossip Girl and 90210. In the famous words of WWE Hall of Famer, Announcer and owner of a barbeque shop, Jim Ross: Business is Picking Up!

So here is the super juicy details:

A dude was like looking at like semi naked pictures of chicks (pathetic I know) and he was like masturbating in the OPEN LAB! Like literally flipping his dick out and wanking while viewing the pictures on his computer! And while he was in the course of um... pleasuring himself, his actions were videotaped by some chick and she posted it on facebook and now, its spreading like well a virus. Wow, its a serious wonder on how fast news spreads via a scandal.

I shall now type this like I am writing my law essay or something like that, so yeah, super wordy, so like prepare to print! Its gonna be like a debate to those of you who wanted to follow my tutelage where unfortunately like I am not a senior debater but I am like a somewhere there senior debater but still juniors can get some pointers from me right?

On the um... star?

Well, dude deserves it. Point blank. You masturbate in public while looking at pictures of topless Asian girls, be prepared to take the risk of getting exposed on your public indecency. Be preapred to be famous. I mean come on, this is a university that literally screams boring in a boring town, so things like this happening is as rare as Britney Spears coming to Kuching to prepare a small concert in conjunction with my 21st birthday. Where the whole crowd will sing me happy birthday and I get to perform "Oops I Did It Again" with Britney Spears and the both of us are wearing the ever infamous red jumpsuit. So obviously, when caught, people who have no life will video tape your actions and then post it up on facebook for everyone to see.

Its already a crime, Public Indecency, why not add insult to injury? 

Also, what the fuck is it with topless Asian girls? I mean seriously, the quality of pornography is like so softcore and you can jack off to that? Proves that this guy is sad, desperate and he has his um needs that cannot be satisfied with a laptop and a bathroom. Look at it this way, getting busy and steamy with a real actual person, rather than a virtual picture of a topless woman with her mouth semi open.

Also consider the mentality of the general populous of Swinburne. Everyone is like so hooked on Gossip Girl and 90210, so scandals like these need to be made public cause that's what gossip girl does right?

However, I am not entirely mad at him publicly flipping his penis and well, moving it up and down continuously. Its called a freedom of choice. If he feels that its okay and it does not harm anyone physically, then by all means do it. Children maybe mentally scared for life or something but we are all adults, we know that there are needs to be satisfied. So I don't really see much of a problem but maybe the guy making a fool of himself and that's about it. I mean seriously, if you want to jack off in public at least you must have something sizeable to show right? Plus in his defense,dude has a potential form of mental disability.

On the person who taped the act, added techno porno music and uploaded the whole video on facebook for the whole community of Swinburne to see which literally spreaded like a heart attack or something.

I know that it is an act of indecency, i know its rude and i know its sick and disgusting. But seriously, is there a need to blow everything out of proportion? Is there a need to over dramatize everything? Do you even have a life to lead? Do you have a grudge that is so deep towards the guy that it behoved you to do something as ludicrous, cruel and immature as something like this? Or is it that you are so bored with your life, you decided to become gossip girl and post all this shit that blew everything out of proportion. Whatever happened to student council or whatever happened to proper social justice. You cannot just do something like this, taking law into your own hands and posting something as humiliating like this. You are a college student for god's sake. You are taught to think rationally and calmly like an adult and not overreact everything like some 15 year old. This is not high school! Have you even thought through the whole process?

Looking at the video, you recorded the act fine. However, you also revealed his identity to everyone! You basically exposed his indecent act to the whole word, probably every Swinburne student has known of this by now and the news has already spreaded as far as Australia and Vietnam for god sakes. Have you not known how large the impact a scandal like this can cause? Not to mention that horrible techno music, have you no taste, do you have to cheese everything up?

Well let me tell you, since you like blowing everything out of proportion. He would not only lose his dignity but also everyone else around that knows him. You basically have made him a lone soldier, no friends at all. His college life is now probably more unpleasant than ever before. Everytime people see him, people will start whispering to each other, pointing at him and then start giggling like little school girls. People he know would avoid him and would not associate themselves with him because of the bad reputation. Other people will make fun of him, probably even to the extent of bullying him and damaging his property like his car. Some would use him as an excuse, as an escape as bullying him is fun. Calling him a wanker and doing the wanking charade in front of him. He will feel insecure, unsafe and absolutely humiliated. You have turned an institution meant for him to pursue an education into a living hell. Just because of the two minute video clip, 120 seconds. You know what they say, it takes years to build up a good reputation, but seconds to crumble it; it takes seconds to become infamous but years to for it to crumble. Basically, you just ruined his college life and he will forever immortalized as "he who has jacked off in public in Swinburne's open computer lab".

Oh by the way, the paragraph above is what is actually happening, now for my drama plot.

What if the guy commits suicide? You will probably be an accessory to suicide or something like that kid in UK who killed himself because he is constantly bullied on facebook. Or what if its even worse. What if he was mentally depressed or something and then decided to bring a gun to school. He would start small,working from the one of the floors in swinburne and then start shooting people, beginning with the cleaners, th security guard and then he makes his way towards you. People who are in his way will get shot and possibly die. He might even hold people hostage somemore or something like that. What if he ran amok and stabbed everyone, causing Swinburne to be unsafe. You are putting yourself and more importantly others in danger if he is criminally insane. Have you ever thought of such probabilities?

Apparently judging by your actions, you did not.

Honestly, this is college, it is meant for a time to have fun and the word fun is subjective. To you fun is probably bitching and wishing that you get to blow everything out of proportions so that you can emulate the cast of 90210. For me, fun is being me,goofing off with everyone and acting like a major bimbo while giving Blair Waldorf like quotes. For him, its fulfilling his fantasy of jacking off in public while staring at a picture of a topless Asian woman.

Honestly, its just masturbation. Sure it is indecent, obviously not socially appropriate and what more to say embarassing. If you think this is horrible, then wait till you see two people having sex on the side of the road, or porno stores blatantly exposed in the streets of soho, or two gay guys swapping tongues and sucking dick at a public toilet is probably hell for you. Well guess what darling? There are people doing it, not persons PEOPLE. We are talking probably in the millions. What you have experience is just nothing but a culture shock that is not used to your own norms and comfort zone and I personally find that understandable, stemming from your lack of logic, need of drama, possible over obsession with trashy Asian bands and predictable dramas and overall stupidity.

If you feel that this is wrong, why not report it to the authorities, give the man some dignity. He should be embarassed and ashamed of himself but you do not need to put the shame on him into something as public as this!

We all find our own ways of entertainment, some not socially acceptable compared with the others that are. However, it is a no harm principle there, no one was harmed because of this, it is just you causing the harm to him. However, I need to thank you too. You made my life a lot less boring than it should be.

Oh yeah, my people, this is what I think and thoughts like these cannot be on facebook. Its just too long.


hanani said...

Australia and Vietnam?
Add Norway and Dubai to that.
We all agree it's indecent for him to commit such an act in public. Then again if you want to bring in freedom of choice, fine, but he should be aware of the consequences and not freak if a video of him wanking away goes viral. :)

munyin said...

i sort of agree with what u wrote. still, i think ppl are overreacting, looking at the response from swin's community. yea, the idea of him doing that since last year is creepy, but there's no need to dramatize thing this much. oh well, girls.. *roll eyes*.. i believe this video will leave such negative impact on him whether or not he reli has a problem. free publicity for the wrong thing...

Nobody but somebody said...

Well, like it or not, society will not tolerate such indecent actions. Who the hell whould even thought of doing it in the pc lab? I heard that it was not the first time, and would certainly not be the last time if the video never exist. He knew the consequences of fap-ping in general public, he knew that he is gonna get it sooner or later. And there he goes,getting what he deserves. Yes there is an over reaction to this rather bizarre happening, but again a reasonable man "on the clapham omnibus" would not accept such indecency at all. Besides, he is lucky to escape the ruthlessness of the penal codes, doing such an action of public indecency is a crime. If someone reports this to the police, trust me, they would gladly put him behind bars even for just a couple of days, speaking of the efficiency of our police force. This is Malaysia, being an Asian society, tolerance towards such disgusting act cannot be found. Its just not part of daily life seeing someone fap-ping beside you in an open public lab. He should be shameful of himself. He should at least do it in the toilet, or better still somewhere far away from the normal stratum of civilization. I shall brand him as an outcast.

Brendan Goh said...

Yes, his indecent act should be punished, however as I said, he should at least be handled properly. The guy has no dignity but still, he should be arrested and sent to jail, at least its what we call honour and what we call justice. However, exposing him into such a scandal is just inappropriate. Funny but still releasing his identity will give him no peace.

The problem that I am facing is not whether or not the guy should be punished, he deserves it anyway. But the intention of the person doing the video. It just seems so cheesy tabloid scandalous to me and I feel that its wrong. He should be shamed and rehabilitated not be shamed forever. People like him would probably not be given a second chance and what I feel is that he deserves to be caught and corrected and given another chance.

Anonymous said...

dude, before u say this, did you know that he try to claim that the one inside the video is not him, when it is so obvious it is him? Did you know he still go to school like nothing happen and use the pc lab? acording to the university pc lab rules, he should have banned from using it. you think that the one who spread this hurt him? no, man. The attacks are all from the watcher. The only word i see from the person who posted the video was "a guy masturbate in university open pc lab", the spreader didn't even call him a pervert.
Universities and churches now try harder than the guy to cover all these, not to protect the guy,but to protect themselves.
You might want to re-adjust your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

The real society problem is not about the guy who posted the video and the guy who masturbates, the real problem is revealed after the video was posted.

That is, people like YOU, who on one hand laughing at the video saying your life was boring until that day, the boy deserves it, thinking it is fun. On the other hand, start theory-ing the guy who posted the video saying he harm the masturbate guy and yourself did not.

You can't even make a choice for yourself for christ sake.
Probably you are just trying to show your holyness to your friend on this case so your friend would think you are the holy one,
try to make yourself the holy one and start bullshiting how wrong both parties are.

By having fun watching the video, You not even trying to protect the boy but bullshiting for the sake of yourself.

Your only fun is by talking a lot of bullshits after things happened, putting yourself into the more "likable by others" position. Its sadening.

Jake Lo said...

Hmm... I wonder if THAT spread like wildfire, what would happen if something more shocking actually happened? Would the whole of Swinburne die from excitement?

MrTalkalot said...

I kinda feel sad for him. I mean everyone in school is talking about the awful incident. As for the girl who video-cam the entire 'story' is either really mean or she doesn't have a life. Remember, karma may one day come back and bite your ass off...

Brendan Goh said...

@anonymous: differences of opinion, no need to insult me in the process. Its honestly unnecessary :)

@jake: the guy is now an international celebrity

@mr talkalot: yeah, that's why.