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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Emotional Drama

I know that I have not been fulfilling my blogging duties lately.
By the way, this is one of those emotional cryptic dramas.
Its about a possibility of a romance.
Yeah, real life story.
But names have been changed and some details are not mentioned for 3 reasons
  1. To protect my privacy
  2. To protect the person's privacy
  3. To piss you people off.
Sam and I met about a year ago.
Online
Sam is on the West side and I am on the East side of Malaysia
We click so well in so many things.
Our msn conversations are usually really long, as long or possibly longer than the posts on Casa La 7.
We talk about almost everything.
We have common taste in music and common philosophies in life
Sometimes we felt that our friendship is more of a relationship

And then, Sam disappeared.
Like after 3 months of daily chatting, Sam just vanished
I never noticed at first, thinking that Sam is just very busy.
It took me a while to realize that Sam does not want to talk to me anymore
Hurt, I cut Sam off my msn contacts.
It was not until last month, Sam came back into my life.
So you bet I was still pissed, I took Sam back as a friend anyways.
And then, the romance between us came back.
Then we talked about a lot of things

Now, Sam is going to do Sam's internship.
Which means Sam has the opportunity to do Sam's internship here, in Kuching
I even received Sam's resume and letter, just in case.
If Sam comes here, we are practically dating for 3 months.
However, Sam has been really busy lately
and still has not made a decision yet.
Which in turn, pisses me off

There it is, an opportunity to have a possible romance with a guy you are so into.
And yet, you hesitated.
I thought it was going to be a no brainer
Since we have serious feelings for each other.
Its not lust, I can tell you that
We wanted to share our dreams and lives together.
We usually look into each other for advice and comfort.
And there are times, we felt like we are already a couple.
Yet Sam is till somewhat holding back
It was a serious piss off.
Sam broke my heart once
You think I would let Sam back into my life, romantically?
Probably not.

I am honestly, in an emotional dilemma right now
I have never felt so confused in my life.
Last time it was add math, now Most Confusing Moment goes to my drama with Sam.

Sam, if you are reading this
Which I doubt
Well, I know that we have serious feelings for each other
If you think that I am important, it would be a no brainer for you to come here to Kuching to do your practical.
I really need some form of closure
I need to know that we have a potential romance for each other
I need to move on with my life, with or without you.

I want to date you
I want to know the real Sam
I want to hug you
I want to see you in flesh and not in webcam
I want to kiss your lips and taste your mouth instead of imagining them
I want you, period

Which is why, I might go with this ultimatum
Come to Kuching or get out of my life.
I have decided to lay it all down.
At least till the next internship comes.

Readers, do you have any advice for me?
The practical starts in April.
If you have been reading my blog for the past two years
This is the time that I need the Oprah or Tyra in you to help me with the relationship advice.
I just want to say that I love you people
And I hope you respond.

Man, if I am in KL, this wouldn't have happened
Hopefully my time in London can set my head straight.

2 comments:

babydino said...

Yo, i wish im in KL too bro.

Mysterious God Of Light said...

Well, even though I don't really support Gay stuff but still I suppose this is an exception.

The more the friends the merrier, right? So it'll be good if you keep him as a friend 1st. Sometimes things doesn't get any good if you keep on delay with it, and good surprises always come out when unexpected.

If you really love him so much then go for a few dates for a 'trial'. Maybe you'll regret after meeting him and be friends instead?

Sometimes, knowing and meeting the real person is better than meeting online. Because the real communication comes from facial expression and talking face to face. And by the way, both of you can kiss through face-to-face, right... hehe...

God Bless & Good Luck =)