SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?

I happened to stumble upon this on Chester's Happenstance blog.
Did you see it?

It has ZARA

FUCKING EFFING ZARA

ZARA

And unfortunately its in motherfucking KL
KL

KL

S

I

G

H

Man, warehouse sale = cheap branded stuff= more clothes= more clothes to show off in Swinburne!
This is called the Brendan Goh Narcissism Fashion Rule
Remember this!

What?
I am an arrogant, bitchy, gay-looking narcissist.
Eh, Zara is cheap high qual fashion
A MUST in Brendan Goh Basic Fashion 101...

Plus, this will SO TOTALLY motivate me to exercise!
I mean hello?
You people spend billions in super high tech clothes hangers and your state of the art facility of wasted space and scenic porno locations...
Work out eqiupment and the gym for you uh, normal people.
Why NOT spend your money on clothes, its much more worth it.
Plus, you will definitely get a great workout
REALLY
I describe for you in detail!

First, you should work on your running and start by having a mad dash to the warehouse.
Next, you can work on your abs by stretching far to grab all those hard reached clothes with your arms, legs, teeth ala Isla Fisher as Rebecca Bloomwood.
Test your endurance by carrying MASSIVE amount of clothes while you stack them on you.
You also have people as your punching bag by clawing, elbowing, kicking all those undeserving fools to get your clothes
You can test your pulling strength by playing tug of war with a person over a scarf
You can work your flexibility by changing those clothes as quick as possible
Followed by a mantra zen session while looking at your look and see how it fits with your wardrobe
Then you pay for those clothes
Then you weightlift the large sack of shopping bags home happily
See?
A FULL WORKOUT, way better than sweating out in a lousy gym, I'd say.

It's also a great place to work out the basics of the warehouse sale war.
If you survive there, you might survive when larger brands like Prada, Gucci and Fendi are involved.

Plus, I will show Chester and his SUPREME art of origami my true shopaholic savageness...
Okay, I will be civil with him
What?
I WILL OKAY.
I am not going there anyways
oh correction of error
I CANNOT GO THERE
Can't afford air tickets on such short notice

Man, watching all those beautiful clothes go to undeserving Ah Bengs who can't even pronounce Louis Vuitton properly... sigh...
Pretty farfetched but...

Chester, dear...
Can you please buy me some?
Please?
Pretty Please?
I will model them for you...
Or go on a date with you,if you're gay (okay, that's desperate)
I would probably do anything, well almost anything...
I have an M size for a tee
A L size for a shirt
and a 34 inch waist that I hope is shrinking for pants...
I am on my knees begging with cute large Alison-esqe eyes from Antm 12 and that large hopeful looking grin on my mouth
I beg you PLEASE!!!

If this doesn't work well, what am I supposed to do?
It's not like I can teleport into the sale
Its not like I can have an air ticket suddenly appear in front of me...

S

I

G

H

All those clothes, so far away...
*breaks into tears*

JUMP!!!

Songs are expressions from the heart into a melody
A Japanese Anime once said that:

"Music is the only link between heaven and earth"

Now, that is of course, all those sentimental stuff.
But...

If you are looking for a song that makes you pumped,

If you are looking for a song that makes you go crazy,

If you are looking for a song that makes you wanna sing along all the way

If you are looking for a song that makes you shake your head so violently like you are taking esctacy

If you are looking for a song that turns head and makes people wonder 'Hey, what is that idiot doing?'

Well, look no more


Introducing :

Jump by Flo Rida featuring Nelly Furtado

High bass, super pumped up, energetic music. makes you wanna just, well

JUMP!

Here is the youtube embedded segment, so check it OUT!

A simple tag

List down every fashion brand that you know without the help of google:

Gucci
Fendi
Prada
Rami Kashou
Jillian Lewis
Anna Sui
Jimmy Choo
Bvlgari
Salvatore Ferragamo
Balenciaga
Oscar de la Renta
Louis Vuitton
Ralph Lauren
Dolce & Gabbana
Topman
Topshop
Hugo
Versace
River Island
Valentino
Giorgio Armani
Diane Von Furstenburg
Donna Karan
Vera Wang
Vivienne Westwood
Bluefly
Chanel
Hermes
Carolina Herrera
John Paul Gaultier
Adidas
Nike
Converse
Puma
Fila
Diadora
British Knights
Austin Reed
Burton
Dorothy Perkins
H&M
Zara
Bershka
Body Glove
Billabong
Christian Lacroix
Dior
Diesel
Dockers
Vans
Fred Perry
Esprit
Padini
Giordano
G2000
Issue
Uniqlo
Muji
Helly Hensen
Fergalicious
L.A.M.B
Jagged Edge
Lacoste
Lee
Marc Jacobs
Issac Mizrahi
Christian Siriano
Katou Mamolu
Quciksilver
Applebottoms
Pierre Cardin
Speedo
Swatch
Tommy Hilfiger
Yves Saint Laurent
Alexander McQueen
Manolo Blahniks
Cartier
Timberland
BUM
Calvin Klein
Victoria Secret
Kira Plastinina
Payless
David Morris
Mikimoto
Marks & Spencer
Primark
JD
Office
Footlockers
Gap
Guess
Next
Monsoon
Heatherette

5 people to tag:

1. no idea
2. no idea
3. no idea
4. no idea
5. no idea

Bye Edie I will miss you! *sobs*

RIP
Edie Britt, one of a kind.

Ladies and gentleman, the April 19th episode of Desperate Housewives was the last episode of Nicolette Sheridan playing Edie Britt.

For those of you who wanted to know how did she die, well she ran into a utility pole and then got electrocuted after finding out that her husband Dave, came back to Wisteria Lane to murder the person who killed his wife and daughter during the five year time leap.

I. WANNA. CRY.

This sucks.

Edie was one of the most controversial and fun characters of DH and to kill her off, man, I feel so down, so disoriented.

BUT I CANNOT STOP WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES!!!

Its way better than any Asian trash that is just so daytime soap, fake, over-dramatic and has a moral to the story. Plus its just behind Grey's Anatomy as my favorite show.

Desperate Housewives rocks cause its over dramatic without the soapish suspense. You know where they film shocked expressions of people in slow-mo?

Well, Edie, you died, you were one of a kind.

You died the way you lived, always at the center of attention.

Okay, now I WANT DAVE TO DIE...

HORRIBLY

Hmm, wonder how though.

Well, its definitely not

A self inflicted gun shot to the head (Mary Alice Young)

Stabbed and chopped up, stashed into a toy box, then bury it under a swimming pool before unearthing it and sent to drown into a lake. (Mike's first wife, Deidre)

Died while overdosing sleeping pills (George)

Died of a heart attack before leaving a note at the last moment (Rex Van De Kamp)

Hit in the head by an object and being choked to death (Mrs Huber)

Shot down by a sniper (Betty Applewhite's younger son)

Paralyzed by a stroke (Orson's mom)

Fell off the roof (Orson's first wife, Alma)

Got ran over by a sports car and sent into a coma, only to wake up and then slipped on the wet floor and tumble down the stairs, telling a nurse to tell your son that his wife is cheating on him with the teenage gardener before you die (Juanita Solis, Carlos's mom)

Shot by a crazy woman in a grocery store (Nora)

Shot by someone in the head cause you went crazy after you found out your husband cheated on you (Crazy lady who shot Nora)

Swept away by a tornado (Katherine's second husband's mistress)

Stabbed by a picket fence that got blown towards you by a tornado (Victor Lang)

Shot in the head by your ex wife (Katherine's first husband)

Shot on the chest by a gun that was covered by a pillow (Ellie)

Choked by your patient and then got your body doused with alcohol and then being burned and there for sending you and the whole nightclub down. (Dave's therapist)

Your grandson put you out of commission by switching off your life support (Noah, Deidre's dad)

Died in a coma after falling off a horseback ride (Jane Hainsworth)

Murdered by your own mother in law (Monique Pollier)

Literally stabbed in the back by your wife after you told her you cheated on her (Bradley Scott)

Died in a car crash (Paige and Lila Dash)

Died while driving home in a tornado where a power line snapped, fell on your car and then burst into flames (Carlos's lawyer who handles his overseas account)

Died in your bed before leaving a revealing note on the floor (Katherine's aunt)

Died by having a cabinet falling on top of you while trying to reach your doll (Katherine's biological daughter)

Sacrificing yourself to save others in a tornado (Ida Greenberg)

Died when you drove your car into a utility pole and then get electrocuted when you got out of the car and died in front of everyone (Edie Britt)

Any ridiculous ideas?

My mom having a blonde moment

I woke up by the sounds of my dearest little brother Ryan, screaming and awaken me in my slumber.
As usual, I get super violent and cranky when I do not get my needed rest.
Sleep for me is not to rest or to sleep
It transports me to another world where I can have fun without people bothering me.
In literal fact, I was living in my dream.
Fuck them, they never seem to stop annoy me from my sleep.
It usually its like this.
By the way, Darren just bangs the door and Ryan just screams

Ryan: LETS GO. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darren: *bang bang* Brendan do this... Brendan do that... Brendan there is a dead bug, I am too much of a wussy chicken to pick it up.

My reply is always the same.

Me: Darren, fuck you.

So anyways back to my story.
I went down the stairs and saw a cracked eg on the table. Odd, I thought, usually there are two plain eggs, soft boiled, in a bowl. I do not like that black stuff on my eggs, eww. I usually prefer poached or omelette but since my mom does not know the word 'poach' to save her life and too busy to make omelettes, half boiled will do. Fully boiled eggs suck unless salted or mixed in kueh chap and PORK.

Mom: Brendan, I put the eggs in the microwave and they exploded except that one so I save it for you.

Me: Gee, mom, you are incredably smart and when I mean smart, I actually mean extremely STUPID.

Mom: What to do? No gas. So I tried to push my luck.

Me: *points to microwave* This is a microwave, not a 4D machine.

Mom: Laughs

Me: *silently adding* Just like the eggs, your 4Ds are the same, failures.

A normal morning for me

I usually come into my classes in the morning, usually looking like a tornado has swept through my house in a middle of a Taliban raid.
Well, actually, my mornings are not anxious and rush
It usually creeps up real fast.
When you wake up, its 6.50 am
and suddenly the next time you see the clock
Its 8.15.
Then it is a mad rush to school.

I really don't get it.
Its 6.50 a.m.
I usually go to the comp
Check my mail
Blackboard
Facebook
Blog
Then I head off to the showers
I came out, 7.45
Ok, not bad
Then I went for a change of clothes
Then it is eight o clock

This is the time where I rush
I would spend nine seconds cramming toast/eggs/crackers/ham/omelette into my mouth.
While scrambling around to look for my books
Honestly, this practice is not good for me
Then I pack my stuff
Get my car keys
Open the car
and speed off.
Sometimes I forgot to turn on the alarm or close the door or the gate
Which results in a sudden rush of guilt after a realization of paranoia
I have to rush back, by this time, I am on the hui sing roundabout
Which means I have to U-turn all the way to the roundabout near BDC and turn into my house
Only to say 'fuck' cause I did secure my house subconciously
Sometimes, I can get there early
like 5 minutes before class starts
then I have to park my car
Forward, reverse, forward, reverse, manouvre, check surroundings
Grab my stuff and run to class
Not before click the car security twice just to make sure its locked
Arriving five minutes late.

Traffic jam is a common enemy too
Stupid fucking cars
You all know jams
Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop
But this time
I am actually on time
Not late, not early but on time
I have to say
Its a record

Confessions of a Shopaholic - The Tie In...

There is actually a story that lead me to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic at the cinema.
Please note that cinemas here (Kuching) are crappy AND expensive but DVDs are worse cause they are pirated. (DUH!) Which means low quality pictures, shadows puppets of life like humans wobbling across your TV screens and not to mention in a dark setting, it is really, well, pitch black DARK. So going to a cinema on a cheap day aka Wednesday aka 5-bucks-a-movie day is for us cheap bastards a treat. So lets rewind my life till its around Wednesday noon, lunch time.

I was having lunch with Chai Hui and Jilly and we ordered the noodles from the stall in front of Swinburne cafeteria. We had our noodles which are... (yawn). Lets fast forward this till enter Sook Ann and Stacy enter the fray cause you people will be drooling at how stringy, spicy, slurpalicious my bowl of Prawn Sambal Noodles are. After the two girls KPL followed and KPL wanted to donate blood.

The Swinburne Blood Drive is a per semester event that is held in Swinburne which is organized by the Leo Club of Swinburne to receive donations of blood from the students of Swinburne who are in their high spirited, strong, veiny, youthful prime with full of pride to have premuim quality blood, free from HIV, AIDS, high blood, mad cow, artherosclerosis and for those of you of Jehovah's Witness faith, contamination. The blood from these students will go to the National Blood Bank will be stored and used by those who are in need of it.

This comercial is brought to you by the Leo Club of Swinburne, we join this club cause we are self righteous plastic bastards and bitches, serving you so that we can look good in our resumes.

Now back to the show...

So Stacy and Sook Ann are so hyper cause they wanna see a movie and it is decided immediately that we wanted to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. Thanks to my part. Then there was the time and the decision making process goes like this. 4.30, 2.30, 4.30, 2.30, 2.30, 2.30, 4.30, 4.30, 4.30, 2.45, 3.00,4.30, 4.30 and finally, 2.30. Then we headed towards the auditorium (blood harvesting donation area). The girls, Stacy, Sook Ann, Jilly were texting and texting and texting away while Chai Hui was sending KPL's stuff to him. Then Stephanie came with boyfriend in tow and then goes into a serious confusion chatter moment which involves Stacy sending her friend away to Perth. Then the girls start calling well, dozens of people asking them out for a movie which they declined. (I think it must be me for some reason. Why am I always so fucking neurotically paranoid? Screw my parents and their raising.) So in the end, six people Chai Hui, Sook Ann, Stacy, Jilly, Stephanie and me cramped into Chai Hui's beat up Iswara and zoomed off to... the airport.

Oh yeah, I had to choose between English and Shopaholic. Lets see, Isla Fisher or Judith Lee, defintely Isla. I think Judith watches too much Heroes and Lost cause she is always Lost in Translation and looks at the paper like she is reading a Heroes script while trying to tell us about it.

Apparently Stacy wanted to send her friend away first. So then we head off to the airport and waited. All this while I, myself was having a Shopaholic moment. I was fighting with Chai Hui's seat belt. The thing can never seem to pull itself out, till I pulled out the plastic part. I thought I broke it until I realized that it has been broken before. Anyway the girls were gossiping and being loud the whole trip. Along the way, I noticed some real spoiled boyfriend/girlfriend behaviour which is SCARY. Not gonna go into details.

Stacy decided to stay in the airport with her friend and the 5 of us were to go to the cinema. We arrived 10 minutes late.

These guys have impeccable timing with toilets. They all bailed on me to go to the bathroom. Which left me stuck buying the tickets thankfully not my money involved. In the end we were officially 15 minutes late.

After the movie, we went back while I was in a duet with Jilly in Taylor's Swift's "Love Story."
Man I love that song. After that, I bought the DvD! What? It is a guilty pleasure. After all, us shopaholics have to stick together!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Starring: Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, Joan Cusack, John Goodman, Kristen Scott Thomas, Krysten Ritter, Leslie Bibb, Wendie Malick and Julie Hagerty

Summary:
Rebecca Bloomwood is a journalist who gets a job at a financial magazine and gives advice on how to save money, although she herself is heavily in debt.

The Good:

Isla Fisher is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT for this role! I really really love her!!! She was amazingly funny. She manages to change a character who is a bitchy, hungry and vicious shopaholic to a very sweet, lovable and sympathetic girl. Mad props for John Goodman who plays her dad, Wendie Mallick who plays the new Shopaholic Anonymous group leader, Julie Hagerty who plays the secretary and the lady who played the former Shopaholic Anonymous group leader. I love Isla Fisher's Girl in the Green Scarf columns too.

All the funny moments were so spot on, the whole cinema was literally bursting with laughter, usually I would be very very pissed off but even Isla can take that annoyance of people spitting out popcorn behind you whenever she does something ridiculous.

The Bad:

I have to say, I am somewhat disappointed by this movie. For a movie concerning shopaholics, too much comedy is relied in part of Ms. Fisher and cast rather than go all Gucci, Fendi, Prada and actually spend money. Dwelling deep into the mind of a shopaholic. It is also sad to see it debut in the midst of the economic recession where people are trying to save but that does not give the creators an excuse to modify it into an ending that is more sympathetic towards those who are suffering. Its pathetic really. I prefer the movie to become something more like a whimsical ideology of shopaholic heaven (That is what the book is all about).

Being a fashion movie with LOADS and LOADS of clothes, they seem to pale in comparism with other movies like Sex and the City and Devil Wears Prada. Patricia Field! What were you thinking? I can understand the 95% acrylic and 5% cashmere horror but the Gucci Boots and Purple Gloves weren't a big with me either. The bridesmaid dress was eww and I cannot believed it was paired with some faux looking leapord print jacket! Mismatched much? But I love the green scarf.

Overall: I really really enjoyed this movie. The actors really saved the movie from a major fashion disaster. But I am really disappointed with the ending. Period.

Though I am highly critical of it but I recommend you guys to watch it. Guys and girls can enjoy the comedy and the acting. Also if you are my friend, you can take a look at my shopaholic berserk prime courtesy of Isla Fisher. Also guys, you can also check out why some guys and all girls go all gaga over Prada. Also I am highly grateful there is no Louie Vuitton. Girls in Malaysia travelled around in the ugly ripped off shit who cannot even pronounce the fucking name properly. Moreover, the bags are usually fakes from Shanghai, Hong Kong or whatever Chinese area where they probably enslave children to make the bags. So Louie Vuitton is pronounced Lou-ee Vitt-tond.

Oh crap! My rant has caused me to forget to rate it! Confessions of a Shopaholic gets 3 handbags out of 5

Plans

I have plans to get the following albums but have enough for three of them
What should I buy
Any Idea?
Creating a poll too

Anyway here is the list (lazy to upload pics)

1. Doll Domination- Pussycat Dolls
2. Fearless- Taylor Swift
3. Its Not Me, Its You- Lilly Allen
4. David Archuleta- David Archuleta
5. The Promise- Girls Aloud
6. Carnival Ride- Carrie Underwood
7. Chasing Lights- Saturdays
8. I Am... Sasha Fierce- Beyonce
9. All I Ever Wanted- Kelly Clarkson
10. We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things- Jason Mraz.
11. 9 Lives- Kat Deluna

Leave comments below

Help is very much appreciated

Script, Lady Gaga and Britney already bought.