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Thursday, April 30, 2009

SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?

I happened to stumble upon this on Chester's Happenstance blog.
Did you see it?

It has ZARA

FUCKING EFFING ZARA


ZARA

And unfortunately its in motherfucking KL
KL

KL

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Man, warehouse sale = cheap branded stuff= more clothes= more clothes to show off in Swinburne!
This is called the Brendan Goh Narcissism Fashion Rule
Remember this!


What?
I am an arrogant, bitchy, gay-looking narcissist.
Eh, Zara is cheap high qual fashion
A MUST in Brendan Goh Basic Fashion 101...

Plus, this will SO TOTALLY motivate me to exercise!
I mean hello?
You people spend billions in super high tech clothes hangers and your state of the art facility of wasted space and scenic porno locations...
Work out eqiupment and the gym for you uh, normal people.
Why NOT spend your money on clothes, its much more worth it.
Plus, you will definitely get a great workout
REALLY
I describe for you in detail!


First, you should work on your running and start by having a mad dash to the warehouse.
Next, you can work on your abs by stretching far to grab all those hard reached clothes with your arms, legs, teeth ala Isla Fisher as Rebecca Bloomwood.
Test your endurance by carrying MASSIVE amount of clothes while you stack them on you.
You also have people as your punching bag by clawing, elbowing, kicking all those undeserving fools to get your clothes
You can test your pulling strength by playing tug of war with a person over a scarf
You can work your flexibility by changing those clothes as quick as possible
Followed by a mantra zen session while looking at your look and see how it fits with your wardrobe
Then you pay for those clothes
Then you weightlift the large sack of shopping bags home happily
See?
A FULL WORKOUT, way better than sweating out in a lousy gym, I'd say.

It's also a great place to work out the basics of the warehouse sale war.
If you survive there, you might survive when larger brands like Prada, Gucci and Fendi are involved.

Plus, I will show Chester and his SUPREME art of origami my true shopaholic savageness...
Okay, I will be civil with him
What?
I WILL OKAY.
I am not going there anyways
oh correction of error
I CANNOT GO THERE
Can't afford air tickets on such short notice

Man, watching all those beautiful clothes go to undeserving Ah Bengs who can't even pronounce Louis Vuitton properly... sigh...
Pretty farfetched but...

Chester, dear...
Can you please buy me some?
Please?
Pretty Please?
I will model them for you...
Or go on a date with you,if you're gay (okay, that's desperate)
I would probably do anything, well almost anything...
I have an M size for a tee
A L size for a shirt
and a 34 inch waist that I hope is shrinking for pants...
I am on my knees begging with cute large Alison-esqe eyes from Antm 12 and that large hopeful looking grin on my mouth
I beg you PLEASE!!!

If this doesn't work well, what am I supposed to do?
It's not like I can teleport into the sale
Its not like I can have an air ticket suddenly appear in front of me...


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All those clothes, so far away...
*breaks into tears*

2 comments:

JG said...

Nice post...
FYI, Chester was like totally into going for the sale..
But because of the freaking-ly long line that you had to wait before you can even think of entering (think Isla Fisher in Shopaholic) and that totally changed our mind about going for it...
It might have the best discounts for one of the most popular brands in Malaysia, but with that kind of crowd...
I would just rather stay home and sleep...
Such things will come again so don't worry...

Chester Chin said...

woah i got multiple mentions in this post teehee tee

but yup JG is right..there was a whole bunch of people!!! so yeaah didn't go..or rather JG convinced me not to go hahah