Click it! You know you want it.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Cheapskate Air

Lady's voice on an intercom

Hello, welcome to Cheapskate Air, the cheapest form of air transport in the world. Allow me to brief you with the safety features and services on board our aircraft.

First, we would like to advise all passengers to buckle up your seatbelt during takeoff and landing for your safety and whenever the seatbelt light is on.

Seatbelts are six dollars.

Please put your bags or suitcases under your seat or the compartments above you

The space under your seats are free but the compartments cost 5 dollars per luggage

It cost an additional twenty cents to lock your compartments to prevent your luggage from falling on your head.

There are also fresh hot towels served by our crew members now, they cost one dollar each.

In case the aircraft suffer from low air pressure, oxygen masks will appear, these are absolutely free.

However, the oxygen for the mask costs an additional $27.67. We take those with the exact amount first.

Please attend to yourself first before attend to others under your care.

In case of an emergency, you might be required to wear life jackets, they cost $25.99 each.

Fasten both sides, the fasteners cost an additional one ringgit and then tighten the jacket.

Please inflate one side of the life jacket first and then inflate the other side when you exit the aircraft.

There are two tubes on the side of your jacket, blow to them if you wish to pump more air into the jacket.

A whistle might come in handy when alerting your rescuers, they cost and additional 2 dollars

There is an LED light that is on the jacket which you can turn on to alert them on your position. It is free, however the battery to operate the lights costs an additional $7.99.

If you want to return the towels, the cost an extra 20 cents but if you want to keep the towels for the duration of your flight, they cost an extra 5.99

There is some in-flight entertainment for you when you enjoy our flight.

To operate the TV, it costs 3 dollars, the remote costs 15 dollars, the headphones cost another 10 dollars while the list of prices for the shows available are listed as below on our pamphlet entitled TV Prices.

We also have in flight meals and drinks available, but for now, we serve you with our complimentary peanuts that costs 20 cents each

The restrooms are to your left, they cost 20 cents to enter and another 20 to exit. While the water needed to utilize will cost another 0ne dollar. The self installed toilet seat requires 30 cents to dismantle and toilet paper will be priced at 99 cents per pack.

Thank you for flying with Cheapskate Airways. Remember we are skinflint, miserable fat cows like you too.


Mysterious God Of Light said...

I rather die than sitting in their planes.

God Bless =)

Chester Chin said...

lol what a way to fly!