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Friday, August 28, 2009

5 types of girls, I will forever hate

I am bored, so allow me to share you about my taste of women. Since I have nothing to blog about and I am bored, might as well tell you guys about my taste in women. These five are the ones that I absolutely hate!

1. The Ah Lien girl.
Oh you know and I know how much I hate those trashy little slut whore zombies known as Ah Liens. Oh dear GOD, how much I hate them, from trashy fashion sense to horrible attitudes to annoying habits to even worse taste in music, these girls are like the jack of all trades in everything anti-Brendan Goh. I would never go out with these kinds of girls ever. It degrades my status as a more tasteful person. Plus if I date an Ah Lian, people would think I am some kind of old foreign leech who got nabbed by the local slut as a husband where I treat her like the prostitute she actually is and she treats me like some ATM machine.

2. The girl who smokes
I absolutely hate people who smoke period! If I were the Prime Minister, I would ban smoking from all public areas, smoking adverts will be full of real over-dramtic effects of smoking and the import tax on cigs will be so fucking high that it will cost 750 bucks just for one small stick of fag.

I am an asthmatic and have very sensitive lungs and nose, a small whiff of cigarette smoke would send me coughing and gasping for air. Plus being a tree hugging, future PETA supporter/ inconsistent vegetarian who hates gardening, I have to make up on a lot of environmental stuff to protect our Mother Earth. Don't you know smoking is like one of the main causes of air pollution? Plus smoking is like such a huge turn of as most of the girls who smoke are fat and failing horribly in their futile attempt to get thin and they also have bad breath and lopsided breast, most likely have smelly, hairy vaginas and likes anime. Girls already have to suffer with Breast Cancer and Cervical Cancer. My grandmother had breast cancer, my mother had a breast cancer scare and my teacher died of cevical cancer, do I want my future wife or girlfriend to suffer brain cancer as well??

3. The girl who acts like a kid
When I want a girl, I want her to make decisions for herself. She needs to be independant and give me some space. Sure I know, it will suck to be not with her where my fucking retarded imagination will get supremely paranoid but its for the best. The girl needs to think for herself, and should not always depend on me. If I want a kid, I can always go to Cambodia to adopt one.

I do not tolerate childish behavior and I defintely do not like girls in school uniforms. School girls never look hot for me. The coy and innocent play is fucking ridiculous. And definitely no cutesy wootsy stuff. I also do not need to call her every fifteen seconds, its not romantic, its creepy even more so if you are the kind that wants to be stalked.

4. The girl with bad English
I am sorry but all those deep and touching conversation is currently conveyed only in English. So unless you are fluent, please move along because we are never gonna have that Je Ne Sais Quoix moment

5. The girl in complete faux designer.
This is weird for normal guys but it is such a HUGE turnoff for me. For someone who worships the designs of famous brands like Prada, Salvatore Ferragamo, Gucci and Marc Jacobs to famous comercial brands like Topman, H&M, Padini and Esprit to unknown future powerhouses like Jillian Lewis, Uli Herzner, Rami Kashou, Christian Siriano and Korto Mamolu, someone in fake designer bag who want the look but not the quality or the prestige pricing of the product is an insult to an industry that highly influences me in my teenage emo years which I can never be hypocritical at. Sorry, fake designer = fake bitches

Next, 5 kinds of girls that I forever LOVE

3 comments:

Mysterious God Of Light said...

Seconded!

Anonymous said...

I'm a girl and I absolutely agree with this! + Love Siriano. (:

Brendan Goh said...

Thanks!

Oh anonymous girl, Siriano is like so fierce!