A post that will degenerate your mind

2day so boring de, XD
donno wat to do, hehe
so blog about yesterday lohx!!!!

yesterday (wah word so long whorxx, taip so sian leh, lol)
i got inno
my lecture name is Dr.Yong
i don like her
I cannot understands wat is she saying,lol
She owes tok about sex.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
So gelik de, XD, lol
I don like to tok about sex
Sex is so gelik.
I like to tok about wuv, me tink is so cute whorxxx.
and then she owes tok about her kangkong
say that she use her shi-shi and black soi to grow it de.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

After inno, me got maths.
I wuv maths
So easy to understand de, hehe
hehe um, hehe and oh ya, hehe hehe hehe and um, hehe.

After maths i go to The Spring
The Spring so good and so nice de, hehe.
Da thing there so expensive whorxxxx.
All da clothes ha, so high class de worxxxxx.
I donno why ppl like to buy such expensive clothes
Especially tat Brendan Goh, everyday go spring and buy T-shirt tat cost RM50++
And da shirt is so not kool de
Not like my bf got the very cool shirt with lots of japansese anime de.
Such a rich boy de.
I don like him leh
He so the si ai bin and a showoff de!
He even posted pics of his new nec laptop and camera at his blog de.
Oso he owes take pics of himself like he is so the hensome.

I saw him there leh,
see him go to manhattan fish market whorxxxxxx.
I go sugar bun, should not throw away money like him de.
We should save money and appreciate it de, whorxxxxxxx.
I like da sugar bun ice cream, so soft and so tall de, so cute too, lol.
Brendan leh, go dessert, so expensive de ice cream and oso not nice wan.

After tat is English with Ms.Hu
Miss Hu so nice but her class so boring de, hehe.
Brendan owes kacau he one
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
So chiko de, whorxxxxxxxxxx.

Ok liao, I don wanna blog liao.
Remember we must not waste money, we should save de.

The crappery above is totally fictional and yes, I typed it by myself. My brain is friedand sucked into the deep depths of utter stupidity and I am so gonna fail my math and economics if i don't do something. So...

ITS TIME TO OBLITERATE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!

Bomb if your english is not up to the volcabulary of a normal United States College Sudent.
Lets start from the top shall we?
My comments are in brackets and are in blue

2day so boring de, XD
(Now I know why your english is do poor)
donno wat to do, hehe
(with brians like yours,its very easy to understand why)
so blog about yesterday lohx!!!!
(okay then, please, enlighten me about your day)

yesterday (wah word so long whorxx, taip so sian leh, lol)
(It is and I can't believe that you managed to spell it right, good for you)
i got inno
(Innovation and change for those of you who don't know)
my lecture name is Dr.Yong
(lectureR)
i don like her
(i like her, i think she is cool albiet cooky)
I cannot understands wat is she saying,lol
(I can, its easy)
She owes tok about sex.
(Not really, she talks about SEXUAL ORGANS, not sex.)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(What its so disgusting to discover your body? Switch yours with a dog, they are more smarter and you look like yo belong to the fur category)
So gelik de, XD, lol
I don like to tok about sex
Sex is so gelik.
(Uh, i get it, why do you have to repeat?)
I like to tok about wuv, me tink is so cute whorxxx.
(Aww, wuv, like a little bitch that you are, I talk to my dogs that way)
and then she owes tok about her kangkong
(Her kangkong is good and nutritious too although i won't touch it)
say that she use her shi-shi and black soi to grow it de.
(good organic, unlike you stuffing our face with KFC everyday)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(You EEEEEEE me, you makan chicken hormones and become one, good though, people like you should eat more so you can lay more, after all, that's what you will do in future)

After inno, me got maths.
(me too)
I wuv maths
(I hate math)
So easy to understand de, hehe
(I hate numbers and counting)
hehe um, hehe and oh ya, hehe hehe hehe and um, hehe.
(WTF? She's like retared now)

After maths i go to The Spring
(ME TOO)
The Spring so good and so nice de, hehe.
(Yes it is, a nice LITTLE mall)
Da thing there so expensive whorxxxx.
(Not really, quite cheap cmpared to Armani)
All da clothes ha, so high class de worxxxxx.
(I know)
I donno why ppl like to buy such expensive clothes
(I DO I DO, so that we LOOK EXPENSIVE)
Especially tat Brendan Goh, everyday go spring and buy T-shirt tat cost RM50++
(true, i don't know why i buy 50++ should buy 80++)
And da shirt is so not kool de
(Of course, its CLASSY way BETTER than cool, you mispelled cool so you are uncool)
Not like my bf got the very cool shirt with lots of japansese anime de.
(How old is he again?)
Such a rich boy de, tat Brendan
(I know, thanks a lot. I am very good at making myself look rich, even though I am just well off)
I don like him leh
(I like myself a lot!)
He so the si ai bin and a showoff de!
(Narcisstic is the word and yes, I so totally am and that's why i love myself)
He even posted pics of his new nec laptop and camera at his blog de.
(My blog, My rules bitch)
Oso he owes take pics of himself like he is so the hensome.
( I know I am)

I saw him there leh,
(Stalker?)
see him go to manhattan fish market whorxxxxxx.
(yeah i ordered the tiramisu, fish and chips and a nice soda)
I go sugar bun, should not throw away money like him de.
( I like sugar bun until chemicals came along)
We should save money and appreciate it de, whorxxxxxxx.
(Nah, money should be spent, its what they are supposed to do)
I like da sugar bun ice cream, so soft and so tall de, so cute too, lol.
(I like it too)
Brendan leh, go dessert, so expensive de ice cream and oso not nice wan.
(But dessert is better, NO FAT, LOW FAT, MORE CHOICES, BETTER QUALITY)

After tat is English with Ms.Hu
(MISS HU!!!!!!!!)
Miss Hu so nice but her class so boring de, hehe.
(I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! MISS HU!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Brendan owes kacau her one
(Not really, more like disturb and getting her attention. IT WORKS, SCORE)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(-.-ll)
So chiko de, whorxxxxxxxxxx.
(ME? CHEEKY? NAH! I AM WAY TOO MATURE FOR THAT, MORE LIKE IMPRESSING HER AND GETTING MYSELF NOTICED)


Ok liao, I don wanna blog liao.
(Good, my brain just died after reading and my bitchings about you revived it)
Remember we must not waste money, we should save de.
Money cannot buy happiness
(Its not a waste, I feel very happy. Unlike you, money does buy happiness for me. Besides, Prada wallets never hurt my heart before)

Brendan has new toys!!!!!!

Allow me to introduce you, Camy and Andes. Camy is the camera and Andes is the NEC Versa S3300.

Not an actual university.

Now, the Swinburne Grand Opening is tomorrow
where Swinburne celebrates 100 years as an established tertiary institution.
We have new buildings, better facilities and higher tech gear.
More importantly, Swinburne is considered to be the best university in Kuching.
Congratulations, Swinburne.
However to all students and gullible douches out there
I would like to clarify that although Swinburne University of Technology, Sarawak
is a university.
It is hell yeah far from looking like one.

Call me an ingrate, call me a noob, spam me or whatever.
I am being the white hat here.
and I say Swinburne is far from looking like an actual university.

You see, although we have new buildings,
although we have the latest Dell Computers in it
although we have the highly hyped but overrated lecture theater
although we have a great little centre piece thing in the university
IT STILL DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ONE!

Swinburne is missing a few things, allow me to bullet them and then elaborate

• A swimming pool
• Larger library
• Larger land area
• Water feature as a centre piece
• Stairs that lead to the stairs to the main building
• Architecture
• A large gym
• A better student lounge

Swimming Pool
An addition of the swimming pool DOES NOT put Swinburne into the same level as a hotel. You don't have people to serve you drinks and give you towels. Plus jacuzzi, spa and massage parlours are needed to be considered as one.

Large library
Other universities (especially overseas) the library is actually one building itself not only one floor of a building. Plus the shelves should be wood and books should be crammed together. Its so empty. So many space over there.

Larger land area
I hate the fact that my next lecture is just down the hall or just next door. And that it doesn't take me 40 minutes to walk to my next lecture and the breaks in between are not long.

Water feature
Water brings peace, calm and tranquility. I want a nice water feature.

Stairs that lead to the stairs that lead to the main building
Now Swinburne has those tiny steps that lead to the main building. What I want is the stairs that lead to those steps like Constance Billard's in Gossip Girl

Architecture
Swinburne's new buildings are so artificial, lifeless Lego blocks. Clifford will be disgusted, honestly, so square. A little art in the bricks is not that bad you know. Make it cool, like Curtin's.

A large gym
The current gym is a small, cramped, smelly and musty room. Yuck. When are you guys gonna install the new one and add showering facilities?

A better student lounge.
A large plasma screen TV, leather couches, proper air conditioning are something that are NOT available in the lounge. I don't think it should be called a lounge cause the lobby is more of one and the current lounge should be renamed to student squatting area. Plus the furniture there are kinda busted.

So that's about it really
Wait till I think of more.

Lin Dan, overrated?

Weird huh?
You thought that the level of testosterone and ego that he exudes during his matches
like a WWE Superstar
You would probably think has something substantial to back it out
And he does
I think
But just to be sure
Can we get a math expert here!
You know to do the measurements and calculations and stuff

Travel plans...

Inspired by Andrew, I decided to formulate my own around the world travel plans.
Since I am like the most selfish and narcissistic person in the world, you bet that I will never get married early or probably even never. HAHA
I wanna travel the world!!!
So lets kick it off shall we
up first is North America!!!

San Francisco, my dream city.
Its my future home, you can say
Why? Cause its cosmopolitan and the cable cars are like so adorable
Plus I have been hooked on that city since Charmed

Manhattan. Yes, I wanna check out the REAL Manhattan Fish Market
Plus, what better place to be than New York
Times Square, Musicals, Fashion Capital of the world
In New York, everything is there and its twice the price.

Its South America!!!
Now, why Chile?
Simple really, its the country of four seasons.
Up North its summer and hot
Down south is autumn and spring
Up in the mountains?
Winter, snow.

Peru, Machu Picchu.
Duh!
Its cool

South Africa is about Fashion and Savannah
What better place to check a TRUE interracial diverse culture that lives at peace.

Morocco.
Why Morocco?
I hear its damn beautiful and wanna check it out
And they have this interesting tea ceremony

Onto Europe
Where else better to meet SHOPPING and WINE
other than Bordeaux
Really wanna taste some good white wine

Milan a place where two of the world's largest religions gather.
Roman Catholics and Shopaholics
Heaven on Earth

Barcelona!!!!
Again its the scenery and food and well, lots of stuff
Plus wanna 'stalk' Bernat Quintana

GREECE!!!
Now! I lost my camera here and karangan contoh book here
So A is to find the Karangan Contoh book
(lets face it, the cam is long gone)
Plus I missed Greece

Now we are at ASIA!!!!!
Hokkaido is the first place!!!
Why? Just cause its a must!!!!

Tokyo!!!!!!!!!
Why?
A to catch Yuna Ito
B to show that Japanese kids are more fashionable than Ah Lian and Ah Bengs

Australia/ Oceania
Okay, since Australia is like a part of Asia instead of Oceania now
I guess Brisbane counts in Asia
As for Oceania, maybe New Caledonia?

Do you believe in magic? (Coocooron)

I went to this place called coocooron with... well, someone.
Haha, i was bored all day and like that person was bored too.
So, we decided to go out!
According to Yien Yien (2008), the Swintalk admin girl
it stands for cool, cool, romantic but abbreviated like Brangelina, TomKat, Beniffer, Brendzaaron, Danichel and Jeneric.
Anyway my date, ( if you can say la) had green tea.
First thing I thought was health freak much?
Cause I ordered a VERY FATTENING AND INDULGENT OREO CHOCOLATE.
Yes I am a sucker for Oreo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anything that has Oreo, I will well... vacuum.
People, this is a warning...
HIDE YOUR OREOS WHEN I AM AROUND!!!!!
In fact, I almost forgot to food whore when it came.
I vacuumed halfway then I thought about food whoring!!!
I forgot to brng my cam btw, so...
took it with my celly.

The Oreo chocolate, I give it 4 out of 5, its just something missing, milk I think
Cause I was craving secret recipe's Oreo Milkshake.

The hand stirring thing is very cute though I don't really recommend bringing kids along.
They will flick it up and slap you with it.

Ambience its... accpetable. The decor is real nice and simple but elegant

But I absolutely HATE that dangling plastic thingy. Its so tacky.
Bamboo things are cute and adds an oriental touch
Complimented by trashy Jay Chou music that is a little off
I recommend songs that are more sentimental
Josh Verdes, Colbie Calliat, Inaclanzable by RBD
Its better if there were not much people around.
If its full house, everything is gone.

The only secluded area in this place.
There is the red place at the back but its like near the kitchen, bar and toilet so no thanks

Then there is this Japanesse, Iban inspirated fusion of sitting on the floor thing
Its Japansese cause it has pillows and tables but its iban because of the floor decor and the table
Btw, they were like LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!
and ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!
Can't even listen properly to what my date is saying
We have to like arch forward and listen and stuff!!!

Final pic of the day is the coaster
REAL CUTE
When we left and reach to the ground
We can still hear their voices!!!!!
ARGH! Reminds me of Mei Shan, one even reminds me of HER
EWW!!!!!! NIGHTMARES!!!!!!!!

So what happened after that?
All can say is it was simply magical
I thank you for a wonderful night of great conversation and chemistry. (Sounds so formal)
When you come back here again, I will definitely go out with you, lol!
Plus, I can still smell your Chanel perfume on my shirt on the next day!!!!
Its sad that you have to fly to your school again but I can't wait to see you in October!!!!
Hope you are reading this cause I showed it to you!!!

Liberty, Devil and Funky Doggy

Liberty
or also known as
Lady Liberty

Devil
or also known as
Devilcakes Wuggglesbee

Funky Doggy
or also known as
Funky Doggy

Aren't they just the most adorable things in the world

Camwhoring Revived

I am like so bored so camwhored during Ms.Hu's class.
Eyes are a little bad I know.
Looking for some eyecream now
Its all because of the stupid glasses
Making my nose oily and all
At least with contacts they ain't oily anymore



Some people have mutated flying chihuahuas
Some people have color contrast gender confused pigs
Some people have that stupid skeleton that I would so love to punch
Some people have Hush Puppies even though they can never afford one
some has some kind of tofu bean head
While the weird ones love to torture Elmo for some reason.
Torture Cookie Monster la.
Elmo so cute.
However the elite have something that will kick all of their asses
Something that is way more cute, adorable and way more classy than any of them.
Heck it even looks great when its dangling from your jeans.
Only the most privileged people can have this
and there is only one...
This thing is called


Tigra Nici!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss camwhoring

Camwhoring's fun. Wonder why I stopped?

What debaters do...

I joined the Swinburne debate club... yay me!!!!!!!!!!!
(*claps excessively)
I have to say it was a real cool environment where we generally try to make fools of each other.
Still no hard feelings were felt.
I would have blogged about it yesterday
but thanks to the stupid unreliable SESCO, (the government company that puts the light in our light bulbs every night)
I can't
Cause Sarawak suffered a statewide power failure .
Its similar to the case in Sabah, about a year ago, give or take.
Usually sakai people were out on town and suddenly the whole town went black (me included)
i.e. there is a difference,
people say 'the whole Sarawak went into a blackout'
I paraphrased ' Sarawak suffered a statewide power failure'
See? I AM PARAPHRASING!

Moving on from the Sarawak Power Failure Controversy
I went to the debate club where they introduced themselves and such
Then here comes a question.
Why do you want to join the Swinburne debate club?

Some were noble and simple and boring
like
'I want to improve my English'
'I want to gain confidence'

Some were about retribution
'I joined the debate club to prove my high school teachers that I can debate and win some gold to prove that and screw them cause they didn't choose me and make them regret for life.

Some were well, true
'I joined because I thought that I can meet beautiful Korean/Japanese/Singaporean girls.'

Some were just crude
'I joined the debate club because I want to make others look stupid and make me look smart.'
'I joined because I wanted to be more bitchier.'
'I joined because I wanted to learn to bullshit smartly.'

I have to say good quotes. Use on your essays kiddies! I am sure you can throw your teachers into fits of laughter, especially if you are Form 4 and Form 5 and being thought by Madam Malizan.

So the topic for the debate meeting on that day was
' Should Universities Distribute Free Condoms to Students'

There are like 5 groups
Male Students
Female Students
Institution
Durex
Parents

Guess what I got?
FEMALE STUDENTS. 0-0
Oh my god.

So anyway, I am for the motion to distribute free condoms to university students, representing FEMALE students. So here's what I got:

Point 1
Its Safe: Prevents unwanted pregnancy, STD, and unwanted sex

Point 2
Its really their choice, they can use it for many purposes

Point 3
Condoms are not just for sex, they can be used as BALLOONS. Free CONDOMS mean no need to buy BALLOONS! Blow them and twist them into funny shapes or leave it like that and hang around the party venue.

Point 4
Can be used to caused scandals. Example, slip the condom into someone's wallet. Fill the condom with cum, throw it into a locker/drawer/some place noticeable and cause the scandal la. Take pic of semen filled condom, post it on your blog and say that you got fucked by someone. Camwhore with the condom.

Point 5
Acceptable in Western Countries so why not?

Point 6
Emphasis on human rights. If a girl wants to get fucked then its her right to get fucked and get her pussy annihilated.

Point 7
It educates them. It teaches them how to use a condom and Why do you need a condom in the first place. i.e. no occurence of STD, unwanted pregnancy, itchiness on the privates.

Point 8
It improves their skills. They can be better lovers. If they used condoms and practice their skills they can be even better in bed. Plus they don't have to worry much about STD or kids, they can just do it without worries.Cause condoms protects it. Not sure? Use two then.

Point 9
Gives them better career opportunities. if they practice having sex and the condom and stuff.
They can sleep with the boss and earn a promotion the same time.

So that's all I got, LOL
I am sure you find them all funny in a way
So bye for now
XOXO
Brendan Goh

222 on 08/08/2008

Olyimpic time, great...
Well, I need to go and publish with my casa la 7 now
btw, it took me like what?
8 days to finish my innovation and change report.
Not bad eh?

All because of you.

Its because of you that I have to spend a fortune.
I just can't afford it.
Bear with me and take this temporarily.
Your dream will come true.
Just not at this moment.
I know its important
but please try and understand and be patient
Trust me,
I will make sure of it.
You are the most important thing in my life.
I love you so much
and I can't bear to see you get hurt
but this is a sacrifice that I can't afford to make.

Advice for Guys... Never trust Ah Lian-ish posts like these.

Okay so I found this interesting post about what guys should do when girls do this.
So this is my response
And you people oh so know that I am gonna have fun screwing it up.
Here is the advice for guys from a girl

Advice for guys.

When she acts shy - Say I Love You.

When she runs from you - Chase her.

When she puts her face near yours - Kiss her.

When she kicks and punches you - Hold her tight.

When she is silent - She's thinking of how to say I love you.

When she ignores you - She wants all you attention.

When she pulls away - Grab her by the waist and never let go.

When you see her at her worst - Tell her she's Beautiful.

When she screams at you - Tell you love her; But you have to mean it.

When you see her walking - Sneak up behind her and grab her by the waist.

When she's scared - Hold her and tell her everything will be okay cause she's with you.

When she looks like something is the matter - Kiss her and tell her not to worry.

When she holds your hand - Play with her fingers.

When she says she's cold - Move closer
When she walks away and looks in the distance - Walk up beside her and talk to her.

When she flirts with you - never turn her down or ignore her.

When its just you and her in the room - Ask her to stay a little longer.

Compliments, Compliments, Compliments!

Girls - You don't really need any tips. Just be yourself and let the boy do the work for once!

Okay now here is advice from a guy to guys who got advice about love from a girl

Advice for guys who got advice about love from girls
When she acts shy- leave her alone
When she runs from you- let her go and not chase after her like a dog
When she puts her face near yours- Say 'Did you brush your teeth this morning?'
When she kicks and punches you- Kick and punch her back
When she is silent- Silence is golden so shut up
When she ignores you- Chase after other girls
When she pulls away- You know that she is unfaithful
When you see her at her worst- Always say it could have been worse
When she screams at you- Tape her mouth
When you see her walking- Scream (insert name here) has a VPL (visible panty line)
When she is scared- Scare her even more
When she looks like something's the matter- She wants attention, ignore it
When she holds your hand- Slap it
When she says she is cold- Let her freeze ( you also cold ma)
When she walks away and looks in the distance- Prepare to be slapped
When she flirts with you- Make sure you have your wallet intact.
When its just you and her in a room- Get a condom ready
Be careful! Be careful! Be careful!
Girls- Guys need to be themselves too you know.

Agglutination of Toilet Smellers at PC Fair

I went to the PC fair at the Permata Carpark place.
So first of all the place was damn crowded.
Too many people really.
Everyone from all walks of life came in to the fair
The people who have absolutely nothing to do but go there.
The wishful thinkers who knew they cannot afford it but come anyway.
The pervert who comes to 'accidentally' touch someone's ass
The criminals who come and try to sneak a few things out
and of course
the people who actually come to the fair and actually buy something

The PC fair (especially today which is the last day where there are more discounts on stuff)
has caused a mass agglutination of toilet smellers.
They come and just look at the new laptops, hogging the space as if to show that they are actually going to buy them...
And smell the sweat of the sellers.
They are literally a waste of space.
The whole place is so crowded
there is barely any air conditioning
and you STUFF yourself in to a humid, practically low ventilation room
just to fill the space and look at LAPTOPS?

Any shop got sell laptop, what's the fucking difference of looking at the same laptops with different price tags when you don't even want to buy them?
Some of us have to wade through your sweaty, sticky, smelly bodies just to get an IDE external hard drive, a 4GB flash drive and a large Epson printer.
And walk literally HALF A MILE to his dad's car.
Just because he was so SCARED that the car might get a little graze or scratch.
And imagine walking half a mile while lugging a printer that weights a TON.
Stupid toilet smellers, walk in their low class slippers and their short pants and their white T-shirts that expose their freakish man boobs.
Stupid Ah Bengs stare at that stupid big TV screen featuring some stupid warcraft game.
While drooling at its oh-so-magnificent resolutions
Lousy toilet smellers
Nothing but waste of space.
Never heard of buying what you need or you want instead of being an obstruction to an ACTUAL shopper?
I really hate Kuching.
All of them are damn sakai
Live in a city and then go to a PC Fair to look at computers and pretend that they don't know what is a computer but talk about that stupid warcraft game that has a name but I forgot about it but my brother, Darren always play it.

Oh yeah, final questions. Which is a better laptop? Toshiba, Acer, or NEC?
Also which is a better flash drive/ pen drive/ thumb drive brand
Apacer? Kingston? PQI?

Homework to do
IT: Nothing
English: Note making
Innovation and Change (IC): Individual report
Economics: Reading notes
Math: Nothing

All of them ignored me

Lets see my first week in Swinburne can be easily summarized in one word.
Lonely.
I should play that Lonely song by Akon
but I prefer to smash my head with a brick instead.

Jia Jia acknowledges me on a need to know basis
Elton well, is Elton
Ying Ying is okay but different class but still okay
Jamie is like 'Hi' and then disappears.
I don't think Hubert even knew that I am in Swinburne now
then again that guy never seems to be happy
and the last 3 times I saw him is that droopy, snoopy, bored, John Lau-ish sadness
Puts a downer on my day only.
If Hubert were to have superpowers is that when you even look at him, he will make you lazy, depressed and write stupid emo blog posts.
Plus he is so self-centered.
Alex is total M.I.A
I don't know where the hell he is
Joon Ching also M.I.A
Never seen her around although I think she is still there
Somewhere.
Josephine went to Matriculation in Labuan
So I am pretty much alone la
And I am (for some reason) kind of shy to make new friends
Damn that NS.
Brainwashed me
I don't think I have any use anymore.