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Friday, June 05, 2009

Why do celebrities have to die in hotels?

Last night I was twittering and then People Magazine reported that David Carradine, who played Bill in the Kill Bill movies has died in a hotel in Thailand while shooting a movie.

Which brings me to ask
Why do celebs have to die in hotels?

Anna Nicole Smith
Heath Ledger
Jimi Hendrix
Some guy from Milli Vanilli (Lip synched loser)
Freddie Prinze
Princess Diana (okay, well she didn't but she left the hotel before she died)

I mean seriously, they view hotels as a glamorous way to die or something?
So that seriously disturbed fans can commit suicide with you or have sex with your already cold dead bodies?
Nobody wants to do that!
Well, almost no one...
I mean its so weird don't you think?
Plus its so troublesome for the paramedics, especially if they have to carry you down from the 28th floor when the elevator breaks down.

I mean look at this if someone writes a letter to a hotel and ask that they commit suicide there:

General Manager,
Ritz Carlton Hotel,
5 June 2009

Dear Sir,

Should I say that hypothetically, that if I were to take an overdose of prescription drugs to your hotel and die there, would my family get to have free benefits from your hotel?

My family which consists of my mom, my dad, my two bastardious brothers and my dogs, Mr. Devilcakes Wugglesbee Goh, Funky Ellen Flora Evergreen Doggy Goh, Lady Classy Liberty of the Kindgom of Liberstire Goh, and Royal Princeston Prestige Pain In The Ass Goh should be able to have free stays in your hotel in perpertuity in the most expensive suite anytime they wish to

All members of my family are to have free gourmet meals until they can stuff your ass full. The facilities available must be free to all members of my family. My dogs must have daily fur wash with the most exotic shampoo in the world, olive oil and eggs for breakfast, daily spa and pampering plus free Jewllery from Cartier.

In return, my death will be made famous in the headlines and everybody gets to see the place that I would die.

I look forward to your reply

Yours sincerely,
Brendan Goh

So lets say that all goes well and they said yes

Brendan Goh
Lorong 10, XXXX
Somewhere in Asia that I am too important to know
10 October 2019

Thank you for your letter.

As per our agreement that if you die in our hotel, we would give you all the requirements stated in your letter dated 5th June 2009

However, since you died and fell off the hotel balcony and landed in front of the main entrance during your stay, we are unfortunately unable to accomodate the agree aforementioned, however we can give your family free buffet tickets whenever they visit.

Since you are dead, we are sending one to your grave and one to your family

Yours sincerely
General Manger of Ritz Carlton, Paris

This is FICTIONAL, laugh at the comical ness though


Jake Lo said...

The beds are more comfortable there. Makes you more relaxed before you die. Thanks for visiting my blog, by the way.

Chester Chin said...

oh oh the guy from kill bill was discovered dead at a hotel room just yesterday or something. very prophetic huh you post? XD

Mysterious God Of Light said...

I don't know that Twitter passes news that fast.

God Bless =)

Brendan Goh said...

Hahahah, well it does, lol.
Faster than u reporting Laila Taib's death too, lol.

Brendan Goh said...

To chester, YUP

To Jake, Good suggestion I guess and you are welcome