As promised
Here are the matches from RAW starting with...
1. Lashley & Cena VS Khali, Umaga and Shane McMahon
In a 2-on-3 handicap match
2. Randy Orton VS Rob Van Dam (2 parts)
3. Carlito & Victoria VS Ric Flair & Torrie Wilson
4. Divas Battle Royal (IN BIKINIS!!!!!)
What?
I am a man

Stupid Tennis French Open
Interrupting my RAW till 3 in the morning!
You know how long RAW was delayed?
5 HOURS!
5 incredibly long fucking hours!
All thanks to tennis!
I hate tennis!
Used to be neutral but thanks to you I cannot see divas in bikinis!

It all started after tuition
we wanna watch RAW
but there's tennis on
So we watched desperate housewives and ugly betty
I waited and waited
RAW gets delayed and delayed
All because some fucked up, Goddamn cocky, bitch-ass tennis players playing so long!
And I pity those french kids
Having to run here and there and pick balls
No chair to sit also
All given to the fat and old umpires and referees
The kids in the middle of the court are forced to do the position like when u begin a sprint
All just to pick, hairy, green balls.
They have to throw 3 balls to the player
One used to play
Another kept in the pocket
while the other they throw on the floor
and the kids have to pick up again
sickening wii?
Not to mention illogical.
Give 2 and problem solved
Waste energy, waste time, waste oxygen, waste youth, wasteTV space.
Not to mention
torturing the kids who are like your maids
reducing the fans endurance of holding their bladder and urge to pee
seriously
after every half or quarter or whatever you call it
I see a large crowd of ppl running to the toilet.

They also play so damn long
1 match takes about 2-3 hours
They start at 5pm and then finish at 3 a.m.
(malaysia time)
You know how long is it
10 HOURS
SCHEDULED FOR 6 BUT ENDED UP IN 10!

I waited and waited
Mr.Sandman keep on dumping sand into my eyes
Like its begging me to sleep.
So I tried my best
but
I failed
Becuz Mr.Sandman is very the
'peka kepada inovasi sains dan teknologi'
So Mr.Sandman invented a missle
filled with sand
Aimed it between my eyes
And fire!
BOOM!
I fell asleep in front of the TV!
Chilakah!
Thank God there's youtube
Btw, the WWE tri-branded draft is on after 2 weeks
Can't wait

Anyway, what the fuck is so damn interesting about tennis?
Its like badminton with balls.
And then those stupid tennis players have groan everytime they hit
What's their problem?
Its like they think playing tennis is like having sex
Sickening wii?
Damn stupid
Seriously
I wonder Chong Zhia Hwa does that too.
I dunno.
Don't really give a damn.
Btw, if you ever wonder how I know Mr.Tennis King of Kuching,
He and I were classmates since primary 1 till Form 3
After that, Zhia Hwa jumped the bandwagon to SMK Green Road
I wonder Green Road's principal is as glory-houndish as
Helen Tan of SMK Sungai Maong
and
Puan Faridah of SMK Batu Lintang
If it is, then Helen Tan is just perfect for me.
Becuz all those BL blogs that I have read
(not only jonathan ok, daniel and some others too. Just too lazy to do links)
makes Helen Tan look like a mouse.
Besides Helen Tan is a caring principal.
(I am not kissing ass. I am just saying how fortunate of me)
Anyway screw that.

In order to redeem myself
brendanconfessions.blogspot.com
is going to upload 3 matches
1. the divas bikini battle royal
2. Carlito & Victoria VS Ric Flair & Torrie Wilson
3. Lashley & Cena vs Khali, Umaga and Shane McMahon

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie
Read your post
Real Romantic
"I wish you were here so we could talk till the sun rises"
"Miss you so bad"
Haha
Makes me wanna

Candice Michelle vs Melina Perez
Candice is seriously improving
Check her match with WWE Women's Champion,
Melina!
Amazing Visuals

Then you are seriously blind
Changed my layout!
Yay Me!!!!
(Youn know what I am gonna do)

Congratulations Jordin Sparks!!!!
Here is her new single
This is my now

To My Best Friend, Aaron
Happy BFF Day Sweetheart
Cha know I will always be with you.
*SMACK*
Bitch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ACEp8VwOn0

Dude like whatever!
Seriously!
I wish I can have my driving licence with me
Plus a new car
So that I can drive to Joshua's
And then
LET HIM FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!!!!
Yeah, right.

Sigh
At time before math exam
I feel so damn lonely
Everybody was chatting away
Jamie flirting with Elton
Jeremy, Franco, Alex and Luke fooling around
Jenny and her gang of future fat, ugly clothed bitch-ass skanks talking about stuff
Don't ask me
I am so not interested in tacky shit
Like your wat liao?
Shao Nian Zhou Cang or something like that.
The lousy chinese catalog where you order stuff.
Price range from 50 cents to under 20 bucks.
Liang Jiun and Liong Yew taliking about...
on second thought
I have no friggin idea what the hell they are talking about.
Cyril and his pals are talking and bonding
Victor and Xiang Lun are talking about games
Whacked up Mei Shan and her fellow sidekick Catherine laughing like crazy old women with billions of cats
Michelle L and Michelle C and Andrea are trying to tolerate their mental problems
Eric, like the dog he is
Lying by Jenny's side
The way she pats him really makes him look like 1
Eww.
Even my exes don't treat me like that
Rachel, Jenascia, Roxanne, Samantha, Alexis, Lauren, Raquel, Alana, Chelsea and Lindsey never treated me like that.

I know that I have been bitching about everyone.
Maybe its that lonely feeling
The way people diss me or cutting me off like other ppl are more important,
just pisses me off.
Ppl just don't appreciate me
I know I am way different but seriously that does not mean that I am like some freaking alien
Its sick!
Do you know how does it feel to freakishly
TORTURED
INSULTED
HURT
SINGLED OUT
DISSED
AND
BULLIED
FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS?????

You know what
I love the fact that my days in Sungai Maong are numbered











I DON"T NEED TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACES EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



THIS DOES NOT GO TO PPL I CARE
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO
JUST ASK ME
RIGHT NOW
I AM TOO PISSED TO FUNCTION!

Sean's Coming Out Party
It was a friday night
I know that I am supoosed to study Moral Suckies
but I didn't (It's pointless and bogus anyway)
So I did something I vowed I would never do
Something very stupid
The dangers are high
But I did it anyway cuz
1. I am a stuborn prick
2. I get 10 bucks for just attending
3. I am seriously and obviously nuts and have officailly lost my mind
4. Moral is shit, why does the Ministry of Education put such bogus subjects in our school curriculum?

So I went to Sean's coming out party.
So that he can announce to the world that he is gay
Bogus reason to have a party
But
Bagus becuz I really need to party.
So there I was, riding with Lucy's Proton Savvy
(Stupid looking car, but she thinks its cute.)
I even said that I would never be caught dead in it.
Unfortunately I did.

I arrived and give Sean a kiss on the cheek and a hug
Please note on the CHEEK.
and walked in
Strangely enough the guy who I kissed did not tried to rape me and tear my pants off.
I went in to dance and gave those hormonal 20-year-old guys a eye-candy
When I sat and took a rest
Ppl keep on asking me this Goddamn stupid question
"Are you Sean's boyfriend"
WTF?
"No" I replied calmly
"But you kiss him and hug him bo!"
"Only on the cheek"
"So? You are his boyfriend becuz you kiss him"
SERIOUSLY?
Are these ppl stupid or just way too dumb and naive
Cuz conservative and discreet is out of the question.
After that the geeky guys play spin the bottle
(becuz no one wants to make out with them)
I made out with Samantha, Lucy and Sean only becuz he is the host
Plus Joshua, twice
He is cute but our chemistry is seriously physical
So I made out with him 4 times
I think
I lost count but I know its more than that
Then ppl keep on asking me the same Goddamn stupid question this time on Joshua
I am too tired to argue cuz my lips are sore from lip-locking, spit-sharing and kissing
So I said yes
Then they said you are so damn lucky and started asking what does he taste like
ARGH!
These idiots never get off my back!
I said like quiche lorraine
They asked what is that
Seriously, aren't gays supposed to be cultural and metro and stuff.
I am straight and I know all about culture and metrosexuality
I said fly to france.
They said "Wow! You have been to france Ah?!!"
Obviously geography also not that good
Quiche comes from Israel dumbass
Every bakery in Kuching has it, just look more closely
So they talked and talked
Ppl made out
Seriously though, i don't where Sean pick upp those ppl from
Online?
Dump?
Middle of the street?
They are hunky
(Some of them)
But all are duds
Seriously
Some even play Chinese Chess during the party
(Sean's little bro loves chinese chess thanks to his dad's influence)
CHINESE CHESS?
THAT NASTY CHESS SET WHERE THE PAPER IS USED TO WRAP KOLO NOODLES/MEE AND THE ROUND WOODS USED TO MAKE FIREWOOD?
Boy, these ppl are serious duds.
Apparently my school has a lot of them.
Seriously, how many trees died just so they can play that stupid thing?
Its supposed to make paper!
Honestly, in a party there should be things banned from it
Like Chinese Chess!

So then I made out with another two guys
Chien Kiong and Gabriel
Chen Kiong is dark, muscular with spiky red hair
Gabriel is also dark but skinny with black hair
Something like Carlos Mendez
Then I heard ppl saying like that old chinese proverb
One leg step on two boats
Me?
Brendan Goh?
One leg step two boats?
Or in this case three?
Never
Me, one leg step on your nards is more like it!
My relationship with them is seriously platonic
Besides Gabriel ain't that hot
But Chee Kiong and Joshua maybe
What they are hot, you can't doubt that.
Neeways, I left at midnight
Slept at Joshua's
And no
Nothing happen...yet
Unless you consider sleeping in the same bed
then yes.

But then whatever
My life is my life
and that's the way how I lead it.
Peace!

Inferno 3
Nice show, check it out at mtv.com

Writer's Block
When you get that in exams,
it means total destruction
And I was a victim.
So I had chosen the narrow escape.
I can't think of anything
I stared into space for about 20 minutes
Did the first question
Then began the narrow escape
I have thought 5 TV shows that can symbolise that title
1. American Idol
Because of that moment being in live TV and stuff is so exciting but then nothing interesting
2. Heroes
Some scene about the cop who can read minds getting thrown out of the window and survived but I did not chose that because its not logical
3. Desperate Housewives
The hostage situation that got Nora killed but then, I can't imagine myself being Lynette
4. Ugly Betty
How many times did she almost got fired again?
5. America's Next Top Model
Now that's something
Btw, I arrived late too.

So I started my essay saying that therer were seven girls left
After much contemplating, I wrote the seven girls.
1. Joanne Fong
2. Beverly Jong
3. Jenascia Stewarts
4. Hu Chi from Death to Supermodels
5. Trishelle aka Joon Ching
6. Lakisha Jones
7. Roxanne stewart
I wrote as Roxanne and yes she is dating yours truly during the competition
No rachel and sammy though
Been there done that
So i wrote and wrote till asked Ricky the time and he said six minutes left
The bell rang before i even finished
My ending sucks literally
Damn lah
Should have followed harry potter or charmed or even mountain climbing!

Like whatever
My brother is one of the world's most paraniod idiots in the world
Its only 1.15 and he already wants to go to PBK
Honestly, it starts at 2
Other ppl haven't finish and you are already there
So damn stupid

A little direction
So you all know that i am recently bi
Well I guess its time to shed the light
Well, not really
but there is this quiz you can do.
to help you prove that you are gay or straight
It doesn't really determine that you are gay or straight
Its the fact that the person you fall with
Let it be a man or a woman
Or else why is there a thing called homosexuality in this world
It really does boil down to who will be your love of your life Open the range a little
Or else you may regret for the rest of your life
Life is all about living it to the fullest.
Btw, you have two options : man and woman
But that doesn't mean that you can't add quirky comments!

1. Who do you see sleeping beside you when you wake up every morning
Woman

2. Who do you imagine having your wedding with?
Woman

3. Who is the person you are fucking?
A really HOT guy!

4. Who do you see strolling with you in the park?
A guy

5. Who do you see lip-locking in the movies?
A DAMN HOt BLONDE GIRL!

6. During a thunderstorm at the middle of the night, who is the person you are holding very tightly?
A man definitely

7. When you walk into the bathroom, you see your toiletries and a...
man

8. When you are in a party, you are most likely be caught in a closet with...
A sizzling brunette woman

9. In your sexual fantasies, you are most likely having sex with a...
HOT MEN

10. When you are holding your first newborn, who will be there watching him with you?
A woman who had just given birth

11. Who do you kiss goodbye every morning before you go off?
A woman

12. The person's shoulder you are lying on while watching a movie at home belongs to a...
man

13. Final question: You are sharing food with a...?
woman

Turns out I am straight.
BARELY

What I think of my classmates
Anna and I were talking about our lives at our respctive schools
We thrashed about our glory-hound principals
Insulted the shit out of the bogus rules ala Simon Cowell
Told each other which teachers we liked and which teacher we hate.
And of couse our classmates
So anyway, here is how I describe my classmates of 5sc1 class of 2007

Alexander Lee
He is the class clown
Coming up with jokes and stuff
A real funny guy but kinda annoying at times
Assistant Head Boy

Andrea Chin
She is a nice girl
Always there for her friends
kinda plus-sized but okay
My closest friend in class

Athena Chai
Kinda bitchy and sarcastic
Don't know her very well
Loves books

Bong Khoon Sheng
At 6"2. He is DAMN tall!
Not close to him but he 'humphs' a lot.
B-ball star

Brendan Goh
Top Model.
The sweet, sarcastic, over-dramatic not to mention irrational drama queen.
The male version of paris hilton
Net-addict
Hates rules, a total free spirit
Very liberal

Brigid Goh
A babe
Sarcastic
Sweet, nice but although we were classmates for 11 years
I don't get her.

Caroline Tan
Resembles my aunt
Pro chi
Again, not close

Catherine Yeo
Worst hair style i have ever seen in my life
That girl doesn't know the word fashion even if you spell it out
I know it from top to bottom
and I am a MAN!
Never tries to be glamorous

Chai Lee Chin
One of my pals
Very nice and her puns are damn funny!

Chai Mei Shan
She has the loudest hair-raising laughter
Although she is the disciplinary prefect
She acts like a child
Seriously!
She reminds me of Shannon, my bratty 9-year-old cousin

Chai Ming Bong
Dull looking guy
Loves chinese chess
Andrea's "husband"
Horrible Hair

Chien Joon Ching
Princess
Very spoiled and pampered
She seems like a good girl but she is actually a bad girl

Chieng Leong Yiew
The class monitor
Sweet guy
Very nice and the fairest of us all

Chin Hui Ting
Silent
Mean
Don't know her that well

Chin Ying Ying
In my world she never stands out
It seems as if she has never existed

Chua Kheng Yong
The typical wushu, chinese chess geek

Cyril Lee
He is my honey
Very sweet and real nice
We are great pals
Badminton enthusiast and chinese chess addict
Good body and looks good in glasses

Elton Jong
He is very loyal to his friends
He is also sarcastic

Eric Chong
The fucked-up bad boy who thinks he can get away with anything

Franco ak Joseph
He is a nice and athletic guy
real cute
Star athlete of the school
Sarcastic and playful

Hubert Chong
He is a mischevious little fucker
Kinda like darren
Pimples more his beauty
Although removing his over-pimpled face will do much.

Ivy Siew
Head girl
She looks beautiful at first
But if you take a closer look you will notice she has
HAIRY ARMS!!!
Does she shave?

Jamie Ding
Blog addict
Emotional
Self-centered
Moody
Bitchy

Jenny Chiew
Tacky, free-loading bitch
A bimbo who actually is a shark
One of the most uncivilsed woman i have ever seen

Jeremy Lim
Alex's wingman, sidekick, lackey
A little subtle but still like Alex
Sarcastic and funny
Metro

Josephine Lai
She is a year younger than us
Real smart
She somehow seems very busy

Kee Jia Jia
The girl who would choose books over life
Bookworm
Studiholic

Kee Jia Zhi
No relation to Jia jia
Very annoying and sarcastic
Entertains Mei Shan in some way
I dunno, told cha mei Shan's a freak!

Lisa Tan
Slouches a lot
Her tooth streches out
With a little surgery she could be a model

Luke Kenny ak Doring
Another one of Alex's lackeys
Funny and more towards physiacal comedy
Nice guy

Melissa Hui
Short
Not close to her

Michelle Lim
She is a nice girl
Assistant Head Girl
Mediocre and quiet
But she shocks the class with her laughs and shocked expressions

Michelle Chung
She is the assistant head girl
Church lover
Very strong in her beliefs
Has a cute temper

Ricky Yong
King of the chinese chess and Boys Brigade
The geekiest clubs in SMK Sungai Maong
Real Loser

Song Hui Sang
She is funny and has a great comical personality
She is like the female version of Alex
She is a nice person in general

Thien Yee Ying
I hate her because she hates me
Real Bitch
Best Pals with the Princess

Thung Senk Siang
Leader of the ass-kissing zombies (Head Prefect)
Total jerk
Very conservative
Very into Buddhism

Victor Lim
Senk Siang's sidekick
Fat, sweats a lot
Tries to put people down by being so damn cocky

Vincent Chung
Nice guy
Hate his hair
Chinese chess addict and wushu maniac

Wong Liang Jiun
Has split personalities
Some times he is very cheery
At times he is like a workaholic pregnant woman

Wong Xiang Lun
I appreciate his honesty
Talks crap at times
Game addict
Boys Brigade VP

A really erotic story
Now, you all know Aaron and I are close
REAL CLOSE
In fact we are so close that we are easily mistaken for a gay couple.
People were like " Are you guys gay?"
And we were like " Hell no"
of course, those of you that know me will know that
Aaron is gay
and I am recently bi.

So anyway, there was this one time in Paris
When Aaron told me about his sexuality.
before that i was a straight man till...
long story ok
lets continue.

We were in our lavish hotel in Paris called Hilton.
You may imagine that Paris is nice, beautiful, aromatic.
But you are wrong!
People here wear extremely heavy perfume
However not as worse as some teachers in SMK Sungai Maong.
The air was filled with different scents of Au De Toilette

So anyway,
We were in our hotel and was done bathing
Aaron too.
i was wearing my Candice Michelle styled bathrobe.
he was wearing in his very frenchy boxers
Damn sexy.
Sitting on the bed he called me
I was just done changing
So he said
"Brendan"
'Yeah?"
" I'm gay"
"Okay"
"And"
I waited
"I love you"
"WHAT?"
"I said I LOVE YOU"

Without further adue
He started pulling me towards him
He held my face and then he did the unthinkable
He kissed me
Using his lips and caressing mine,
I obliged
I kissed him back
Our tongues intertwined
Licking
We were touching and caressing
Holding each other so tightly that there was no space to breathe

We stripped each other off.
he performed oral sex on me
Licking, Kissing, Sucking
It was getting harder and i felt the pressure.
I moaned
After that, I grabbed him and thrusted his face to my pubic area
He sucked even harder

Next thing I knew, i was licking his ass
Burying my face in it
After that, I put my cock on his ass and rubbed around it
Finally, I let my cock go inside his ass
I was fucking him
At first it was slow
Soon it became very fast
We were moaning and groaning
Doin it doggy style
My ass was in him so deep that i think i can feel his prostate.

After that, I let go
He turned around at started sucking again
I moaned
and then, cum spurted out
It shoot his face
His face was very messily creamed
Cum was flowing down from his face
I licked it and kissed him
After that, I sucked him cock
He moaned
Groaned
And shoved his cock deep into my throat
Gagging me
In the end, he cummed on my face
And licked his cum off my face
We slept till the next morning

Thank God there was no photoshoot on that day
we were too tired to model, lol
Oh yeah, if you believed the story above, well
YOU ARE DAMN STUPID!
BECAUSE
THE STORY IS FAKE...


FOR NOW.

The Gay Barbie Song
Hey Garets!
Hey Raul!
Wanna go for a ride?
On what?
On this! (showing ur large cock)

Barbie is a bitch
She's such a witch
I really hate her
Why does Ken date her
Ken is such a man
I do all I can
Just to do him
We just wanna screw him
She is such a bitch that I wanna scratch her eyes out

I have dreams about Ken
Inside my den
And we hold
And we kiss like sweethearts
But that Barbie is a slut
With that cute little butt
And I guess Ken like boobs made of fake parts
And I cry everyday
Cause straight up! That bitch is in my way

ooo
Barbie is a bitch
She is such a witch
I really hate her
Why does Ken date her
Ken is such a man
I do all I can
Just to do him
We just wanna screw him

When I see her
I wanna beat her
ooo ooo ooo
I will punch
And will crunch her
Ohhh Oh yes

Hey Garets.
What now Raul?
Look who's over there
Well if it isn't Barbie without Ken and the stupid California dreaqmvan
hey Barbie its us come over here
Look
Come over here please
(begin punching and Kicking while screaming)
Take that you little
you hooker
you bitch
(beating stops)
lets go

What I did while the rest are at sports day.
While Jamie, Luke, Alex, LJ, LY and all of my other class mates were...
OBLITERATED
TORTURED
STRANDED
SUFFERED
SCREAMED
GROANED
MASSACRED
MURDERED
BLISTERED
SPLINTERED
SPRAINED
BROKEN
EXECUTED
BEHEADED
STUCKED
MOCKED
ABOMINATED
ABORTED
CRUSHED
WRECKED
BURNED
SMASHED
TWISTED
CONFUSED
DEHYDRATED
STARVED
ACIDIFIED
AFFECTED
AND...
I have ran out of vocab so lets continue
In the spotrs day,
Meanwhile...
I was lounging in front of the PC
Playing games
Eating corned Beef
Sleeping
Learned to drive
Played with my dogs
Listened to my iPod
Chatted on MSN
Danced
listened to my CDs
Sang
Read the dictionary
Read the INCREDIBLY THICK and I mean THICK book entitled 'The Constant Gardener'
Watched TV
Youtube
Killing my brothers
Jogged
screamed
Ran
Quarrelled
Dreamed
Text messaging
And
That's about it
Ahhh, peaceful and serene.

Haley was the one that tore me down apart.

I was sulking and cursing and pissing off for weeks when Katherine Mcphee was runner-up.

I was in the verge of suicide when Kellie Pickler was voted off

I was crying and jumping up and down like... me when Carrie Underwood won American Idol 4

I cried when Antonella Barba never made to the finals.

I cried when jasmine got kicked off at season 3.