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Sunday, July 06, 2008

A typical Ah Beng or Ah Lian blog

These days are like so absolutely boring
and I have gone completely bonkers about it.
My social ladder is on the down side of the apples and pears.
Its totally tom tit
Can't find a china plate to go out with
and no brass to fuck with
(Am speaking a very foreign English Language, if you know means you either understand or you are from the East End of England)
Okay enough pony, time to do my Ah Beng/Lian post.
I have decided to search for one
since I dunno how to make one
What? Brendan maybe versatile and adaptable in most situations like a chameleon
But in Ah Beng/ Lian literary and as well as in bed, not to mention in school
I am always the bottom.
Forgive me since I can't help myself, I am going to put my opinions in brackets.

I found the blog and OH MY GOD
IT WAS HORRIBLE
There were these stupid pics of 'emo' acting girls
You know acting emo but cute at the same time and think that its 'romantic'
with the stripes and the dress and the blah blah blah.
God and the PIGS WERE ANNOYING!!!!!!!
God its pigs and pandas and porks and frogs
food with faces
its like a freaking non-kosher (non-halal to Muslims) cornucopia extravaganza over there!!!
I litrerally had to run to the bathroom,
God, I think my bulimia is acting up again.
So here is the post
Opinions is below

Today din do anything
(din, the Manglish short cut)
Wake up very late
(good to know, I went to Kuching before)
Sleep like
(you? pig? yeah a malnourished one)
Hehe…
( I don't get that, don't ask, Bengs/Lians do this)
I hate ppl asking me to study what
(Uh, Oprah/Tyra/Ellen, tell her teens are facing the same damn problem)
I do hav choice anymore…
(you do or you don't?)
Study form 6 loh…
(trash like you? nah, go and work as a maid better, you can get fucked by your employer's son)
I hav problem in applying ptptn
(Its HAVE, not hav)
So can go in college 1st
(huh? you are as confusing as Sanskrit Scriptures)
But I think I will go to apply after form 6
(sure, whatever, be a year later thaqn most of us)
Coz on that time my dad is coming back from Brunei
(I have been to Brunei too, stayed at the luxurious Emperor Hotel)
My uncle want me to study nursing
(WTF? You? A nurse? Hah, future 007)
If really one to learn,
(its WANT)
my mom want me to go to Australia to learn
(with your level of English and Trashiness, please. Aussieland has enough of unprivelaged squatters like you)
I don like medical field
(its DON'T or DO NOT or DUN)
“then be teacher lah”
(Teacher? *plans to raise kids in London*)
My mom say
No one with fire you
(I think she means 'no one will hire you')
I had been a student
(I HAVE BEEN, watch the grammar)
So I noe how a student bully I teacher
(Its KNOW, again Manglish shortcut. With your level of discipline at your Tepung School, its a shocker, really)
If I’m fierce enough maybe I will be a teacher
(If you are, (yeah right))
ROAR…tiger teacher..hehe…
(more like Puan Tikus ala Ugly)
I want to learn design…
(Catherine Yeo aka Boring Girl syndrome)
But many of my relative does not seem to encourage me to study it
(DO NOT SEEM, grammar again, GO BACK TO PRIMARY 1)
I noe from they face
(Seriously, go for interest, be happy, its your life to screw)
Most of my relative are engineer, business or in medical field
(AH, the three choices of career that the douche chinese acknowledges it exists)
They does believe design field can give me enough food to eat
(I seriously don't know what the hell is she talking about, its more confusing than General Hospital)
Hehe…
(Stupid word again)
Stupid thnking huh?
(Its THINKING and yes you ARE STUPID)
Actually they say is right
(Typical Boring Girl in its finest)
If u don work hard enough
(everyone has to scrape their asses off and work hard, not only you)
Many ppl think that ppl work or learn in design field r not good in their studies
(WOW, that is a total HYPOCRITICAL remark, they are creative, left brain's better than the right)
Do you think so?
(No, my bitch, future boyfriend and I are smart and are good in the studies, we just choose design cause WE LIKED IT, A LOT!)
So that why I don talk a lot with my relatives now
(Then why the hell are you blogging this CRAP)
I don like the way they say me
(I also DON'T like the way mine did, so what?)
So just keep myself is the best
(Keep TO yourself and yes, the only statement I agree)

Just so you know, I have the short cut syndrome so not gonna be a hyprocrite, its unintentional, so whatever

2 comments:

DNAiNi said...

OMFG. *headdesk*
Where'd you find this bullshit from?
I could've cut myself from reading it.
&& what's with the design field dissing? Pssh.

brendan said...

honestly, quite easy, just go to Welcome to Carmen's Door then from there find a blog called Xiang yin. I know the bitch from National Service, Hah! I literally puked when I saw here pig infested blog. Makes me don't want to eat anything non-kosher(non-halal) and convert to a freaking Jew.