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Saturday, February 09, 2008

Monotonous conversations
These conversations are very lame, monotonous and dumb.
Not to mention repetitious
Ppl (usually 26 and above) will ask these same stupid questions
year after year after year after every stupid year
Seems like they have Alzheimers or sumthin.
Plus I have the stupid National Service this year
I have to answer more stupid questions

Here are a few examples
A stands for Alzheimers relatives
B stands for me
The brackets signs ( ) represents thoughts

Monotonous Conversation 1
A: Wah, Brendan. You soooooooo big liao ah!!!
B: Um yeah.
A: You grow up so fast hoh!
B: Um yeah. (Isn't that the same meaning?)
A: What are you planning to study?
B: Mass Communications
A: What is that?
B: Its anything related to the field of media that involves communications
A: Oh, what can you be if you take that course?
B: I can be a television producer, an advertiser, a PRO or a journalist
A: Oh, why don't you go to the medical field? Being a doctor is very good. You get to earn a lot of money. Plus as a doctor, you get a lot of respect.
B: (What is it with these chinese people and their affection towards doctors?) Well, I think in the life of the media is more interesting
A: What about engineering?
B: (If its not doctor then it is engineering.) I hate physics and I am not interested in it
A: Aiya, Brendan. These days you cannot follow your dreams one. It is safer to have a nice and stable life.
I was once like you, bla bla bla bla bla... You must take my advice hah.
B: uh-huh. ok. yeah. sure I will take your advice (yeah right)

Monotonous Conversation 2
A: Wah, Brendan. You grow up sop big ah!!!
B: (here we go again). Um yeah
A: Got girlfriend or not? Surely this old got girlfriend one
B: No I don't have 1
A: Got wife?
B: No (rolls eyes)
A: Aiyo, then how can u get married leh? You don't want children meh?
B: No.
A: Its better for you to have kids, afterward when you are old, they will take care of you.

Monotonous Conversation 3
A: Brendan, how is NS
B: Its okay, a little horrible
A: Tough or not?
B: Its okay, you get used to it
A: Aiyo, I pity you, already shoot gun or not?
B: No after chinese new year
A: Shoot gun good, let you experience it
B: I am not shooting the gun
A: Why?
B: Cause I don't want to
A: Oh, ok. I hear you cry boh
B: Yeah, I did
A: Why, did people bully you there?
B: No, I cry because they cut my hair
A: Let me see.
B: Okay. (takes off beanie)
A: Not bad leh, hiya, will grow back one lah
B: Ok

Monotonous Conversation 4
A: The food at NS god or not? I hear you eat 6 times a day, must be very the ho mia ho?
B: No the food there is horrible
A: Why so horrible?
B: Because the food is always spicy, there is always fish and the kuih there is weird
A: Oh How?
B: (starts describing the food)
A: Oh, so always Malay food there lah?
B: Sometimes got Indain like Briyani Rice
A: No chinese food ah?
B: No.
A: No pork ah?
B: No pork.
A: Aiyo, how can u live like this, pork very important to us chinese 1 boh!
B: Its okay.

Monotonous Conversation 5
A: So tell me your daily activities
B: (Tells daily activities)
A: The classes like kindergarten one ah? Aiyo, waste taxpayers money only
B: Yeah
A: I thought you weren't allowed to bring handphone?
B: The coaches keep for us
A: Oh, so u can use in the weekend la!
B: Yeah.
A: Not scared got stolen meh?
B: Everybody has their own phone.
A: You better be careful ah!
B: Okay
A: They keep your handphone in a maggi mee cardboard box?
B: Yeah
A: Aiyo, such high quality phone being kept in a place like that, afterward spoiled then you know!

For the past three days, I have been having these conversations with my relatives and people I don't know. Thank you, God that Chinese New Year is celebrated once a year for 3 to 4 days. I cannot stand it if it is celebrated for 15 days consecutively.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Things to bring back to NS
1. CD player
2. CDs
3. Batteries
4. Loads of EXPENSIVE junk foods (beef jerky)
5. Loads of EXPENSIVE chocolates (hersheys, belgian choc and fererro rocher)
6. Loads of Mags!! (New Idea, Harper's Bazaar, Cleo, Seventeen)
7. Sony Ericsson K618i
I lost 3kg!!!!
I lost 3 kg!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, its official!!
I lost 3 kg!!!!
Maybe national service is not bad after all!
Thanks to Carmen's hopefully accurate scale, I now know the truth.
Yeah, i am happy but I think I am going to gain them back
if I don't stop stuffing my face!!!
Anyway, we discussed the god and the bad between 2 camps
Which is my camp (betong) and the Jaclyn's and Jee Wen's camp (bau)
I dunno but both camps have their pros and cons.
So I let God handle this
I don't even wanna think about it
I will just accept whatever's happening.
Anyway, I only got 2 angpaus for today.
Which sucks
Then again, it is the year of the rat
which means bad luck for the horse.
Xin Nian Kuai Le!!!!!
Hey everyone!!!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone who is celebrating out there.
(Okay, that makes me feel like such an alien)
Fireworks were up all night
Actually I don't think I should call those fireworks, explosives seem much more relevant
Although yeah some are actually fireworks that shoot to the sky
Exploding in the air in an array of colours (and smoke)
The one night where I actually don't care that these things are actually polluting the earth and scaring the shit out of my dogs.
But most of the fireworks are just noise, literally
They just explode in a loud bang!
I really think that there were grenades outside or sumthin
Then all that is left is a hole and a smoky fog that really smells.
And I thought the methane produce by my NS roomates are bad
(methane = gas from farting)
And of course lets not forget the angpaus!!!
Not much $$$ this year though
Buncha cheepskates,
Oh well, there is always next year
As usual I will have a lot of fun
However, there will be no Valentines day party this year though
As you know, by the tenth I will be resuming my prison sentece
That's all
xoxo Brendan

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say: Rejoice!
This exerpt (is it called a exerpt?) from the bible has pretty much kept me sane for the past few weeks
Now to all Christians (and pretty much everyone in the world)
knows that the word rejoice means to look the positive in something even though the problems seem impossible.
For example

A You are gona get run over by a car
Bad part:
Oh shit, I am gonna die
Good part:
I will meet with the Lord, its my destiny
If not, at least I can stay in an air-conditioned hospital and eat great hospital food.

B Your parents are picking you up early for CNY
Bad part
Oh SHIT! My parents are gonna drive me like a slave horse as if NS hasen't done that already
Good Part
MSN, Youtube, Myyearbook, Friendster
Plus my big comfy bed!!!!!

As for Malaysians, they think Rejoice is a brand of shampoo
and should not be used in the English Language essay
If you don't believe me?
Just ask my bro
Balls
There is very little time for TV at NS
Obviously with full of activities all day to bore you to death.
Anyway, most of the time is given to those losers who watch football and video zonkers
Which obviously is pointless
Oh yeah did I tell you that there is NO star world, mtv, E! or bbc
Not to mention the movies?
So my life has pretty much ended over there.
I felt like I wanna cry

Anyway, I don't get about people watching soccer
I mean, don't get me wrong
I love to PLAY soccer but I don't like to WATCH it.
See I am a person who TAKES ACTION and not YELL IN FRONT OF THE TV.
Just so you know,
1. They can't hear you
2. They don't care about you
3. They are making a lot of cash
4. They don't even know that Malaysians watch the EPL or La Liga.

The people over there, usually those jungle kids
from some nasty place where they don't even know about msn, blogs or even a COMPUTER
are hollering in front of the screen like a buncha wild animals

Its stupid really
I don't get it with man and balls
But I think I have a theory
Men play balls to show their masculinity and gutso
Its also to search for their inner testosterone that they have lost
Lets look at the stats between me and most football lovers

Exhibit A
Me
I go in front of the stage, say what I feel and have the guts to face a crowd
Them
They holler in a crowd, saying crappy things about you
but when it comes to standing in a stage alone,
You could litterally see that they have no balls at all

Exhibit B
Me
When I like a girl, I ask her out, right in front and then see how it goes from there
Them
They write love letters, ask someone else (usually me) to talk to them or to get their names and phone numbers.
Or even just to look at them
Are they that shy to introduce themselves?
If u like the girl, let her know you and not your friend
Cause some of your friends are oppurtunist
They will snag some for themselves
Another thing girls phone numbers and guys too
are NOT PARTY FAVOURS
Never simply give other people's phone number without their PERMISSION.

There are already two facts.
There are more but these two are the strongest
And these two are enough to make a statement and prove a point.

Ohyeah, I don't like people criticizing football coaches
These people have a job to do
If u have what it takes, write a personal letter to them and issue a challenge
Although usually they have no time for that
Haha
But one day, if an oppurtunity presents itself
I will drag one of those kinds of people to coach and do strategy with a football team.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

I am back Bitches!!!!
Oh yeah!!!
Guess who's back
Uh huh
Oh yeah
I am back
I AM BACK
THE RETURN OF BRENDAN GOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Fears
So what if I am going to spend 10 weeks in prison?
It would be just a while (I hope)
Hopefully, it won't last for centuries
I know that normal teens like you and me have perished there.
Well, lets see.
There is a boy who died after a rat pooped in his food
A girl who died of menopause-like syndrome
Another boy who was suffering from varuious injuries and was neglected and given paracetamol who died in the end
A series of drowning cases
One or two guys who got beaten to death.
Hmm, hope there are no deaths this year
Its been five years and the death toll is quite high.
There should be no deaths this year
Or else, I strongly suggest that the programme is to be shut down.
its not safe
Us teens have a life for God sakes!
I promise you that I will write a journal and then put it into a blog.
Telling you my accounts and exposed the truth
Government media is controlled, never believe what they say.
Except when its about international issues.
Well, I have list of what I want to do after my stint in prison.
Its somewhere at the side.
Brendzblog on hiatus
Its just seems that time passes by when you are having fun
While time sits still when you are not.
That just sucks
Obviously I dunno what to do.
Gonna go to that stupid brainwashing camp
for 10 fucking weeks
I dunno what to do though
But it gives me time to write my books
Just so you know as a humanitarian and a good samaritan
I am going to create a new blog
To show how suckish let others know about my experiences there
To let them know that they are doomed what are they gonna experience there in detail
To tell them what to bring for there safety and survival for their convenience and needs
To let them know that all the trainers there are homosexual perverts everything is okay and they are safe.
To reassure them that they will be brainwashed into over patriotic terrorists fine
Oh well, see you in Chinese New Year
will definitely be blogging
Haha, and don't forget my pressies
My birthday is on march 5th
I am gonna organize a party soon
Till then, goodbye
To all my readers, I love you all.
Even though that approximately half of you are gay.
Anyways,
xoxoxoxo Brendan Goh
Peace.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Nobody Cares
I am angry, sad, depressed and frustrated
Nobody wants to go out iwth ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh, I wanna cry
feel so sad
Nobody wants to go to Fever with me
Nobody wants to go out with me period
I feel soooooo sad
Sigh
Damnlah
Dunno what to do
Even if I am gone for 10 weeks, still nobody cares!!!!
I hate EVERYBODY right now!

Monday, December 24, 2007

OH...MY...GOD...
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my fucking God
God, God, God, God, God!!!!

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
Don't believe me?
Here is the exclusive from E!

On December 18, 2007, it was announced in an article in OK! Magazine that 16-year old Jamie Lynn was 12 weeks pregnant.[4]
She and her mother spoke to the magazine in an exclusive interview. Nickelodeon, the network that carries Spears' series Zoey 101, issued the following statement shortly after the announcement:[5][6][7][8]
"We respect Jamie-Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."
The father is said to be Casey Aldridge, 19 at the time of conception,
[9] whom she met through church.[4] Spears stated shortly before Thanksgiving that she had no steady boyfriend.[10] Because Spears was legally still a minor, and the three-year age difference, Aldridge could be charged with statutory rape, but prosecutors may be unlikely to do so.[11][12]

What the fuck?

Sunday, December 23, 2007

KUCHING: Top model, celebrity blogger and aspiring singer, Brendan Goh was arrested for drinking and driving on March this year. Just wee moments after celebrating his sexy seventeen. He was arrested at the Hui sing roundabiut after being suspected of driving under the influence. He is then booked and joined the ranks of his other galpals, most notably Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan. However, Goh is not the only celebrity to wear orange this year as former childstars, Macaulay Culkin and Haley Joel Osment suffered the same fate as the trouble star. Other than that, Kiefer Sutherland, star of the hit show, 24 is also facing the same charges as Goh although they are two seperate cases. Earlier in March, Brendan was sentenced to 3 months in prison but he was released just 45 minutes in. And now, the judge now orders him to finish his sentence which was cut till 10 weeks due to the appeal of his loyal fans.
What I want for christmas...
Christmas is coming in like 2 days!!!
haha
well, of course I have been nice this year!!!
I always am and always will be.
But of course I am a little naughty, haha.
Today was a real cool day!!!
Dogs as in STRAY dogs!
Or ones that I didn't rear actually came to me
and ask for food from me
like I am a saint or sumthin, haha
well, i always give stray animals food at food centres.
They are sooo adorable!!!
Even though some are like breaten into crap.
Which is a very bad thing!!!
Animals should be treated nicely.
We are after all sharing planet earth with different species.

So this list is about things that I wished to happen
and I hope that you will help me make these wishes come true
1. That stray dogs and cats can be adopted and put into nice homes instead of the SSPCA
(We are not responisible for their sexual activities but at least give their kids a home. After all, life is precious. No matter how small. Unless they are bugs of course.)
2. This year will be an eco-friendly christmas. Buy things that are eco-friendly and biodegradable or reuse old stuff.
3. Britney Spears will be respected again. She has been trying real hard to get her life back on track so help her and support her.

Now here are the things I want for christmas
1. I want Paris Hilton for Men, been craving it since last year!!!!
2. Britney's blackout album.
3. Charmed book entitled 'Phoebe Who'
4. Charmed book entitled 'Light of the world'
5. Cecelia Ahern's 'A place called here'
6. I saw a lot of nice clothes at Boulevard, care to buy a black shirt for me??
7. A Nokia N73 or that Nokia slide phone.
8. A Hawkgirl action figure!!!!
9. Tickets to watch WWE RAW, Smackdown and ECW!!!
10. Well, buy an airline ticket and reunite me with my beloved.

Haha, merry christmas.
But I don't celebrate Christmas.
I celebrate the Winter Solstice which is lame
But I celebrate Hannukah!!!
Hannukah is celebrated for ten days
And you will recieve a present, everyday for ten days!!!
That's why i only have 10 things on my list, XD

Saturday, December 22, 2007

On this 150th episode of Brendzblog, which is also very, very special to me, I would like to announce that I am officially taken and unavailable.
I am so GODDAMN happy that I don't know what to do.

Friday, December 21, 2007

OMG!!! Christmas is coming soon!!!
And I haven't started shopping!!!!!
Die
Die
Die
Die mian mian!!!!
Nothing to blog, life is so boring
I think that this blog needs a long term hiatus
1. My life is soooo boring
2. I am lazy to blog
3. I wanna finish writing my book
Sigh
I am gonna miss you Brendzblog.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I feel closer to strangers than my own classmates
A couple of my pals took me out A LOT these days
I just went out last night and got my first bottle
OF BEER!!!!!!!!!!
It tasted weird at first but its good.
Although my mom was PISSED
(the fact that my friends drank beer and not knowing that I drank beer)

I went out with a couple of good friends of tuition that I haven't seen in AGES!!
And they introduced me to a few of their own
Which results in me having a party almost every week
and going out almost every night.
But don't worry, the latest was before 1030
which was last night, lol
Last night I had a lot of fun
Although someparts of me are a little sore
due to mutiple pats on the back.
These days, I try to spend as much time out of the house as possible.
Cause there is nothing to do but beating my record of 1594 kills
with Ma Chao on Dynasty Warriors 5: Extreme Legends
Gotta say that is boring.

I am still wondering when would DC release the toy version of Hawkgirl
I know that I am very very old for that
but I am not playing with it.
I am keeping it as a remembrance of sorts
Maybe I should buy a Power Ranger since they have been in a large part of my life.
but that is just stupid, really.

Btw, I do feel closer to my new friends than to my classmates
For some reason, I just do
We told each other secrets that we never told anyone before
Maybe that's because we may never see each other in person again
and we don't know if people we know, knew about that particular person.
When I saw the pic of our class on jamie's blog.
It occured to me.
ITS FAKE
A LIE
nothing but a CHARADE
A mere PLAY that was put on stage
Nothing but a SHAM
They may feel close to each other
but I know that I will always felt left out, no matter what.
But thnking about it,
I know they will be there for me
Andrea, Luke, Jeremy
God, I miss them sooooo much!!!
I may not be in their lives anymore
but I know that a thing called im will link us together

Sunday, December 16, 2007

I am still alive
Back from Kuala Lumpur!!!!
Bought lots of stuff
Neeways, too tired to blog
I do have a few pics though
Nothing interesting in KL
In general,
it was, bad and stressful
Aren't vacations supposed to make you relax?
I think I can relax more when I was preparing for SPM.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You know that I am bored
So that's why I am blogging again
I am off for KL soon
I am obviously sick and tired of it
But I will be back on sunday
So its about 5 days of hell
I don't like my nation's capital

First of all,
its too HOT!!!
God! Last time I was there
I suffered so much heat that I feel sick
I vomited

Nextly is the people
They are very rude
I don't understand Cantonesse okay
I don't even watch your stupid Cantonesse soaps
that are scripted horribly
and not to mention bad acting
and predictable scenes

Plus, there is also a lot of crime around
People literally have to put backpacks on their bellys

Then, there were of course accidents
More specifically motorcycle and cars
Last time I was there,
I saw a dead body, lying on the ground!

But not all of Kuala Lumpur is bad
There are gonna be great bargains there!!!
So my cash is fully loaded and ready to be spent
There are gonna be soooooooooooo many choices there
If you were to go to KL
and see a guy with his hands full of shopping bags,
that'll be me.
I wanna buy some clothes
Maybe not those raunchy T-shirts
Its a fashion fau-paux according to Glamour Magazine.
Jeans are also fine, I want some black ones though
I definitely will get a black shirt
I don't have any of those
Preferably long-sleeved.
More pinks into my wardrobe?
Sorry, i think two is enough.
I would find more blacks as the celcom T-shirt is the only 1 I have.
Beiges and browns are out, too many
Whites are also a no-no
Maybe blue or purple.
Greens are a yes
As for jeans, more black too

Oh my God, there is also accesories!!!!
Earrings!!!!!
I want something like Jeremy's
The ones that look like a ring
and maybe even the ones that are large like Khoon Sheng
Or a graphic stud
Never ever choose those large round and flat black ones
too UGLY!!!!!!!!!!
I may even choose a bracelet or two

Next is CANDY!!!!!!!!!
I can't remember which supermarket but it has a LARGE variety of CANDY!!!!!!
I wanna buy all
10 bucks is enough, i think.
Ohhh, I can't wait to get some candy and gorge on them myself!!!!

Also on my list is CHOCOLATES
I want to have some nice yummy chocolates in my tummy
Maybe a bar or two
A few Snickers, Mars, Milky Way or Bounty might be in store
To keep that energy going.
I am in a shopping marathon.

I would also want to buy a perfume or cologne
I want to smell extremely revitalising
So that I might attract a few girls to sniff my scent
and let them follow me like a bunch of dogs looking at a nice piece of steak
Well, lets hope its girls and not guys, lmao!
But then again, maybe a few men won't be so bad

Of course DVDs are in my list
I wanna buy Ugly Betty!
I missed a lot and i wanna watch
I hope it will be cheaper too though

Oh My God, ICE-CREAM
Scoop is nice but i wanna check out other flavours too.
I want some blue ice cream, if they have any
Lets hope my greedy mom won't try to steal a bite
I am gonna defend myself by making her guilty in gaining weight.

Come on, you think that I am THAT selfish?
I will definitely buy something for you
Just holla me and I will do it!
But you gotta get the gifts yourselves though
Unless you are going to Xiang Lun's birthday party on the 17th.
Of course if i still have money left after my shopping marathon.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Check List for KL
1. Ipod
2. Cell phone
3. Cash
4. Clothes
5. Shoes
6. Cell phone charger
7. Tolietries
8. Multiple groans of dread

Hope that I can find some decent earrings overthere