Shit!
My life obviously sucks becuz it does
I am feeling so lonely right now
Real close to cutting myself
Everyfrucking elder member of my paternal side is criticising the shit out of every fucking thing
The younger ones repeat what they said and did their fucking victory dance
The dumbshit, the ah beng, the bitch-ass snob and the faggot rat all dance in joy
Obviously that makes me sick
So what if i flunk my test
I did my best
Improve on average but still not enough.
Which obviously sucks

As for me feeling lonely
When I went shopping, seeing couples or groups of pals
I feel lonely
When I am in school and see how tight knit some people are
I feel lonely
Its not that i did not try to make friends
I did
Its not that i am some stuck up jerk
I am a real nice guy
I am always there for everyone
Always be there to help
However they just did not treat me well
They never treat me nice
I guess I should stop being nice to other people and be
something not me
be a more meaner me
I have multiple personalities
Time to show the stronger me.

At the public speaking seminar
Which is a total eye-opener
great speaker, Mrs J and Great food (thanks jackie)
Those of you who missed it ,
whatever
its not like it is too good (hehe)

There was this thing about women
It sorta reminds me of
me
The way that ia m strong for everyone but get treated like a piece of shit
Really told me to chose my friends and dates more selectively
And so that's why i decided to lose a couple more friendships that are worthless.
Don't worry, my net pals u guys are way more important than some trash that i meet.
Anyway i am soo pissed rite now that i need to get some pepsi max to cool off
my latest addiction.

Birthday Recap
Gee, i am sooooo damn lonely these days.
Sigh.
First of all, i know that i don't have a birthday party this year because of SPM
However, my birthday will be celebrated at 29 December, 2007 at Milan.
Yay me!!!!!
( Claps like brenda song's character, london tipton from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody)

Well let me tell you what happened on the day where you are supposed to be happy
(because you are only 1 year shy of being legally able to have sex in all countries)
As usual i do my routinual grooming (5 minutes)
Its just school, no need to look good to a bunch of pathetic, superficial, seriously bitch-ass posers.
So neeways, alex, jeremy, luke and bla bla bla (including a couple of idiots who are not deserve to be mentioned) why i did not held a birthday party this year. (because they bailed the last one aka my first in inviting tuition and schoolmates. other than my usual friends)
I simply replied SPM.
Honestly, i was in no mood of celebrating.
Thank you, SPM

Guess what did the school gave me as a birthday present???
Not 1 but 2 add math papers
WOW! I am sooooo damn lucky to recieve 2 presents!!!!
Honestly, do you think I am happy?
Obviously not!!!!
Hello, add maths test is the worst possible birthday present on earth
What kind of idiot loves add math?
Don't answer that, its a rethorical question!!!
I dunno about add math but WHATEVER!!!!

Who wished me happy birthday?
Other than the usual 80 closest friends
Jia Jia (unexpected), Morgan and Ivanna wished me happy birthday.
Jia Jia may have heard when i told my unlucky fate to Xiang Lun.
Still, the thought is what counts right?

My mom took me to Little Saigon, its a Vietnamese restaurant.
As a celebration of my birthday.
The food is DAMN delicious.
Anna, Lawrence, Samantha and Lucy had a special slumber party at Joshua's house with me
It was a surprise party with the 5 of them and Sam's sis, Cecelia and Ekin!!! Who returned from Singapore for me!!!
It was school break mah!
The slumber party was sooo Gr8!!!!!!!
Apart from pizza, soda, choc, hot music, and the Wu family's infamous Korean cuisine.
I got PRESENTS!!!!!!
Rachel and Aaron mailed me some seriously HOT jewellery.
Jenascia got me HOT pants
Alana sent me a pic of hers
Most ppl send b-day animations
I got a thong from Blake
Tori got me real world DVDs
Rebecca got Charmed DVDs
ALL 8 SEASONS!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!
( Claps like London Tipton again)
While the 7 available ppl put up a special powerpoint presentation that brought me to tears!!!!
That happened on 11th March

Before that i was pretty bitter.
At least i enjoyed my personal small purchase
(Okay, i was just being humble)
I enjoyed a BIG spree!
However, a large personal shopping spree cannot match the caring things done by your pals
Maybe i didn't spend enough.
I don't really know.
Let me tell you my jealousy.

First of all, Elton and Michelle Chung are 3 and 4 days younger than me respectively.
As I was sitting alone on my seat, eating an apple.
Yee Ying came out with a cake.
To Elton
The others are singing him happy birthday
Everybody eating cake on tissue (ewww)
At least i enjoyed that
Watching low class ppl doing low class stuff.
Doing their low class shit
No candles because no lighter
Ms Hwong was there, collecting bio workbook debts.
She look at the cake and said 'Happy Birthday to Me'
Then, for more amusement, she took a correction pen and used it as a faux lighter.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
And Yee Ying splats Alex's head with cake, cool!

As for Michelle, she got a powerpoint presentation by Mei Shan
Plus pressies by Cally and her chung hua no 6 friends

You know what the weird thing is?
I am having a party and the one organizing but they never show up
Let alone, they want me to organize another 1 so that they can break me again.
I actually cried at after the party
Now, thier friend's birthday is coming and they go and splurge on them
Bringing the party to them!!!
What did I ever did to them?
Who gives a damn, at least i have friends of my own.
You know what?
I don't appriciate those ppl, well maybe some but definitely not all.
Glad this is my last year seeing their face.
I don't think i can stand another year with them.
God, send me out of this cursed place i am living!
I am not insulting this country, i think its a nice place to travel but not stay
I can't stand the global warming.
Its just that i would have a better chance of not seeing some faces again after i leave.
Besides, my family keeps on saying that i should leave them in malaysia.

Which Reality Television Show Should You Go On?
The Real World You love being around people and you seem to be a bit of a gossip. You were totally meant for The Real World. Sitting around a house all day, talking with seven people who are soon to be your bffs and possibly hooking up with a total hottie, what could be better? Embrace the fact that you are a social being and go join the fish bowel of The Real World.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

This is a two cans of empty cat food with a rope attached.
Unbeknownst to all of you, it has many uses

As you all know, it can be used as a phone and it is legal to use in school.

From left, jeremy, luke and alex. These guys are my friends from school. Thus, the shabby looking classroom and the disastruous uniforms.

We are doing a comercial for 'Friskies'. We have created a slogan called 'Friskies, God's gift to cat food.' As you can see we got everything right but those guys are no top models like yours truly

Did u noe that u can stuff it in your chest, and get instant breast?

OMG, alex has BIG BOOBS!

Luke, unfortunately is a sex addict so he decided to fulfil his sexual arousal, Alex did not seem to mind to oblige.

I just had to take one more shot, because he even has nipples on it. Is that milk on Luke's mouth?

Temperature + Ass Kissing = PRESSURE ^3 + Attempted suicide.

I know, that you don't really get the title.

I know that you don't really understand what the fuck i am saying.

The pic helps?

Funny huh?

It was drawn by one of the coolest teachers in the whole damn world!

She was explaining about how temperature increases the effective collisions in a rate of reaction.

Anyway that was a joke on our sunflower-haired principle to help us further understand the the rate of reaction.

So back to the real deal okay?
Just like my dad whose hobbie is comparing their children to other people.
The principal compared us to her former school, homework wise
She said the homework load of her previous school is 3 times of the homework load in our school
so to ass-kiss, um i mean impress her, the teachers all so stupidly, um i mean loyally obliged
and guess who suffers?
US!

My homework is now 3 mountainious piles of books, essays and other crap!
Did you know that what we are doing in a week is an australian's load for the whole month?
Did you know that American's homework load is like 1 small hill compared to our Mount Everest like homework pile?

With all due respect Madam Principal
Your decision to increase homework is deadly and stressful?
Did you know that some of us are attempting suicide?
Thus, that's why temperature means a principal who respects dictatorship!
We are teenagers, not clones, robots or armies.
We need our freedom
We need to let down our hair
We have a life!
Kuching has only 1 Jia Jia
Not 7 dozen types of Jia Jia at bintulu.
That's why you should never compare and revolutionise our school in an extreme way even though it may be for our own good
We should have time to focus on our extra-curricular activities and leisure

Speaking of crap, we were handed out thesr guide book for students.
The rules are GOD DAMN way longer than most schools as they have a notice full of rules that has a maximum of 30
Instead of a book full of them about our uniforms?
Whatever happened to democracy?
We are like prisoners and dogs for GOD SAKES!

Therefore i think SMK SUngai Maong is pretty much called the Prison school that forces innocent students to be nerdass dogs!
Forever remaining the name of asians as nerds and slaves!

Jesse

I am soooo fucked up!!!

My life is seriously stressed right now.

I noe i can handle the pressure

I just cannot handle the accumulating homework that rises faster than a balloon filled with helium!!!

Honestly, does the teachers have some kind of problem that they have to GIVE us homework almost everyday???

What ever happen to finish it in class???

I honestly just realized something, my blog is very mundane like jamie's and it's also as long as the friggin model essays by ramona!!!

No offense, she is a great teacher but the model essays given are just way too long for my wrist endurance.

Oh yeah, Myspace jesse has a boyfriend

His name is Dan.

I would like to tell my friends and everyone else that

I am NOT JEALOUS!!

I am happy for him, and not jealous.

Rachel, Aaron, Alexis, Samantha, Anna, Lawrence, Ekin, Mika, Alana, Jenascia, Rebecca and other pals.

PLEASE DON"T SYMPATHIZE ME

I got 5 hot chicks to be with what else can i say???

Although i am officially a bisexual, i still prefer girls more!

Come on!

You see my reaction towards the guy matches and girl matches in the WWE

Once i see girls, i light up

The guys are okay, only jeff hardy, kenny dykstra, DX, RVD, Hacksaw and Chris Masters got me standing.

Now jesse having a boyfriend never was a problem to me.

My matters are more worse than that.

Thanks to my mom, who wrecked the car (thanks mom)

My dad decided to do the worst thing he could do to a materialistic, egoistic, shopaholic and trendsetter/fashion stylist.

Budgeting my CNY CLOTHES!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, please take a moment of silence in respect to the clothes that will never make it to my extravagant wardrobe.

Because of the matter mentioned, i am officially hating 2007 for now.

Man, graduating is never coming without a fight

Guess that's why they call it a series finale for this stage of my life.

I AM LEFT WITH ONLY 200 FREAKING BUCKS AND FORCED TO BUDGET!!!!!!!

Excuse me, clothes look good on me, it should not end up on the bodies of Eric Chong, Adam Chong or Thung Senk Siang.

The clothes that i look sooooo sexy on are either black or out of price range or out of style.

I cried silently in my bed for days.

No black because of CNY

My grandma said that when my daddy is small, they always wear cheap and out of style clothes, saying that at least we have clothes on our backs.

Nobody laughs at them, so why so difficult.

That's to people who have never met Thomas, Bianca's boyfriend.

Gosh he always mock me, at least i kicked his ass.

he is my rival.

Man, when i said that i am going to wear pink on cny because red doesn't look good on me.

My dad says, you look like and aqua.

I say real men wear pink

the shirt saids that too

and so does everybody in the mall

I truimphed but fell for another hot biege shirt, that looked so good on my converse shirt that i MUST have!

My hell has just intensified and

its only january

God, give me a break.

I am tired

I am suffering Someone help me.

Sammy, Anna, Lawrence and Lucy too.

We are all suffering

I can only hope for the best reward in the end.

But its still a long way to go.

Boy, i miss me.

Would somebody save me?
My life sucks, literally.
I have soooo many homework to do!
In fact, its too much that i don't even have time to MSN!!!!!!!!!
I am a certified MSN addict and I NEED TO CHAT!!!!!!
As if my life doesn't suck enough, my laptop has to go completely retarded!!!
Some letters on the keyboard are not functioning well.
I type but the words don't appear on the screen.
I HAVE TO COPY AND PASTE THE LETTERS!!!!!
What the fuck is the computer's problem?
If u noe how to fix this, pls tell me.
I am using my dad's laptop FYI.

Let me review u my list of homework that i have to do:
1. Add math project, due monday or was it friday?
2. Math, due next week.
3. Add math homework, due before March
4. Chemistry, report and summary
5. English, oral script
6. Malay, TWO EXTREMELY LONG MODEL ESSAYS!, due next week
7. Biology, about 20 experiment reports, due after two weeks.
Not only that, I have to get a friggin cow heart to disect.

Apart from my doodies at the torture chamber/ zoo captivity for teenagers, SMK Sungai Maong.
Also known as my school.
I have to plan a surprise party for someone special.
Not telling who, its a surprise.
Of course, I can't cancel

Not only that, my heart needs company, that's why i need MSN
because i don't have a webcam
because i don't have the software to upgrade the crap i call my laptop.

So here is my miss list and why.
Jesse
My MSN pal
You sweetness and sensitivity
Not to mention how caring you are is making me missing our intimate chats more and more each day
I hope that we can chat soon, c ya
Charles
I love your personality
The 'chats' we had has its own meaning and depth!
You are nice guy to talk to and your opinions are inspirations.
I hope that we can talk soon.
Jenascia
Girl, you are for fun than the Ps2 at home
You are the sweetest girl that any guy could have.
The chats that we had are very fun.
Ivanna
You are carefree, happy and very very fun.
I miss you very much
Plus, the way you call me Paris
Besides, i wish that we can hangout sometime.
Amanda
Amanda Banana, oops that's for Anna
Your personality always shines in my eyes
That is sooo cool cha noe
You are a nice girl and don't change
Hope to see you soon.
Darleen
Hope that you and Andre are having fun
Make sure he doesn't slurp okay
Men who slurp are pigs and should be dumped as trash
I wonder that will you be like me
Changing girls fater than changing cell phones.
Are like Rachel, changing boys faster than than underwear,lol.
Rachel
Our chat's are sooo naughty
Its ALWAYS about SEX
We always had fun, with the jokes and stuff.
Aaron
Best for last and its my best friend!
We had soooo muchfun, talking, gossiping and blahdy blahding
Chat soon.
F.Y.I. i haven't chatted with hem for days and i already miss them
LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!

I wish i was me
The very energetic and fun me
The Mickie James me
I am gonna buy new years revolution
Its funny though, only Anna and I LOVE wrestling
I miss wrestling
I miss RAW, Smackdown and ECW
I miss being happy and fun
I miss not thinking about school or suicide or cutting myself
I miss being me
God help me, i think i am turning to the emo clone of Jamie Ding

My life sucks
God! with homework, tuition and more homework, life is just hectic!
sometimes i wish i can skip 17 and be 18 so that i can be free and happy and energetic again.
My theme song is Lithium by evanescence.
Its the comfort of sorrow and the possibility of happiness.
My emo meter is rising.
I hope i don't cut my wrist like jamie.
or maybe even slit my throat.
10 months in hell!
Lawrence asked me a question during our usual monthly sleepover at each other's houses
That night was at Anna's house.
So anyway he asked me this
"Would you rather spend 10 months in SPM or locked in the elimination chamber for five minutes and being chokeslamed by kane,F-Ued by john ena, RKOed by randy orton, pedigreed by triple H and tombstoned by the undertaker."
I chose the latter
I mean ain't it obvious, we rather suffer physically than go potentialy psycho.
For example, number bases.
It drove me completely nuts!!!!!
Mr.Thien was grinning like K-Fed defeating John Cena
I was soooooo damn confused!

Anyway, Lucy says that i am too sweet and nice to other people and mus hate some people
Actually, i hate lots of people.
Here's my hate list
1. China
2. KL
3. thung senk siang
4. eric
5. ah bengs
6. those teen golfers at KGS think that they are sooo cool with their clubs, checked pants and collared shirts and ugly golf shoes.
7. mean or boring teachers
8. tyrannical principals
9. bush
10. osama bin laden
11. patriotic ppl
12. fireworks
13. heat and humid places
14. ryan
15. darren
16. flukes
17. Sexelettes
18. Conservatives
19. Badawi and the racist corrupted government
20. ketchup on hotdogs
21. geeks
22. annoying ppl
23. damai lagoon
24. uncivilised village idiots
25. steven seagal
26. my dad
27. soccer freaks
28. F1 freaks
29. basketball
30. Kevin Federline
31. posers
32. Kurt Angle
33. bugs
34. lousy cartoons
35. chinese music
36. chinese male artist (drag queens and posers)
37. ppl who eat endangered animals
38. hunters
39. monkeys
40. ripoffs
see i do have hate in me.

Yearly Reflection
Everybody has ta do this
Its like you can't avoid it.
Like there should be a catchup episode where you reflect on things you done the past year
That's wat i am doing right now

January
Old school, new class, new teachers, new cast.
Its so real and fresh!
Although we were looking forward to the so-called 'honeymoon' year
There are things that are not so honeymoonish at all.
To all Form 3 kids out there, form 4 is a larger hellhole compared to form 3
Half the class are now seperated.
Some went to transfer, like Zhia Hwa who bounded for Green road and Hui Hua who was romored to be in BL.
Some went to Science 2 and demoted to the "also starring" category like Seh Lin and Patrick
Some stayed on like Andrea, Michelle Lim and Michelle Chung
previous guest stars (Jamie, Liang Jiun, Lee Chin) are now permanent
The last 360 i had was back at kindy
So original cast are now dated back to primary 1
Liong Yew, Andrea, Brigid, Jia Jia and Me
jeremy has returned
teachers went a total 360 with the return of mr edwin who teaches us history.
(he used to teach us art back at form 1)
Tyranny of Helen tan got worse with the implementation of copying model essays
Ramona our malay teacher took advantage and gave us MILE LONG ESSAYS
It took me THREE HOURS to finish copying ONE of her DAMN ESSAYS!!!!!!
Our english teacher Mr Peter Sim was kinder as he gave us to pick and chose
Which we did.

February
I am striggling badly and I felt that i am suffering.
I could not handle the pressure and thought about suicide
The future was dim for me

March
I had a disastrous sweet sixteen.
I would like to thank my parents for ruining my life
Two reasons:
1, their cheap food choices
2. The exsistence of Ryan Goh
These two factors foundated to my disastrous plan.
I never failed to pull of a party suceessfully.
Guess there's a first time for everything.
Failed horribly during first exam
Wonder what the future holds
went to that Lee Hom concert
Okay, i guess, not enjoying it.
Jonathan guest starred in my bday an made an appearance on Lee Hom's concert
That's the last time I made contact him


April
Broke up with Lauren
Devastated Very SAD
Hooked up with Rachel

May
Failed again
Really clueless
Like Paris Hilton

June
Suffered horribly in KL
Vomittted, puked and expelled, i ended up feeling groggy
Went to Greece to model
Got on the cover of some magazine on Vogue.
luckily, my sickness has eased.
I had a fun time

July
Senk Siang Revolution began
(about that time, dunno and dun care)
Talking Trash about honor, respect, blahdy, blahdy blah
Ass KIssing every adult
Turned other prefects to bitches and assholes
Michelle LIm, turned on me
Backstabbed me
Hurt me
broke up with Rachel but dated jenascia

August
Started blogging

September
Celcom competition began
Worst time ever
Met Kyo

October
Celcom ended
liked kyo but never dated
jenascia and I are just friends

November
C ya Kyo, you sick jerk!
Holidays began
went on extra clsses and got a crystal
went to sweden on a holiday trip

December
Waiting for my ass to get kicked by teachers!
Went to England and Damai
Spent christmas at United States with the Casa la 7

Overall
i suffered a horrible year
the casa la 7 however, gained 23 new members!
Myy life of depression is just in the beginning as next year, i am going to
SUFFER
from
TORTURE
I felt like i can trust no one anymore
(classmate wise)
my heart is damaged
Nobody wants me in that class
I guess i think i should look into transferring next year.
or laylow for the whole year.

Fergalicious
So delicious
Its in every music accessory i oown

Wishing everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah

Emo much?
I don't know why but brendzsta's emo meter is rising faster a penis erection.
Honestly, i am so moody lately
I felt like crying and stuff ya noe?
Anyway, i am spending christmas at Aaron's pace
Julian, Nick, Lance, Blake, Todd and his previous boyfriend Jesse.
Luckily, Aaron has a large house that fits all of us.
FYI, his parents are in England with his maternal side of the family.
Aaron doesn't wanna go becuz last time he went there, he got it real bad.
Cousins bashed him up
Grandma was sobbing
Grandad told him to get out of his life.
Uncle's ar teasing him
Aunt's talk bad on the dad.
Pretty much everyone in his maternal side are hating him
It was real bad, Aaron got a bloddy lip, black eyes and got a bad cut on the head.
Luckily, no stiches needed.
Aaron was forced to stay in Micheal and Andie's house for the summer
It happened this year.
I was furious with his family
How could a family diss him like this?
Julian actually gave the oldest cousin a bloody lip!
Man, twinkerbell got some mean fist!
Honestly, can't blame them
They are a bunch of conservative losers anyway.
Gosh, really wanna kick their ass!
Aaron was actually removed from their family tree.
He has no paternal side though.
All of them somehow disappeared.

RIght now Aaron and I are alone,
Julian, Nick, Todd, Jesse and Lance are downstairs playing his Xbox, Ps2 and Nintendo wii
Talk about rich
Yes, he is watchin me blogging and i don't mind.
He is gonna get his ps3 and Xbox 360 soon
his mom spoils him
Only childs are sooo lucky!
Especially when he his stinkin rich!
Great he shook my head.
He is standing behind me
Hands wrapped around my neck
Head on my shoulder
Looking at the side of my face like he wanna kiss it
Yeah, yeah go ahead A that's wat best friends are for.

There is chemistry between us
but that chemistry says friends with benefits.
Not telling what kind of benefits
Please i am sooo bored.
Now its time for me to stop blogging
Its TTTKA in Smackdown vs raw 2007
Elimination Chamber
Aaron vs Brendan vs Jesse vs Lance vs Nick vs Blake
with Julian and Todd acting as wwe divas in a bra and panties match as the opening act
They are stripping each other off, lol
That's gonna be fun

Brendan so bored!!!!
God!!!!
I am soooo god damn bored!
There is nothing happening in my life and i am bored
Next year or two weeks later is going to be hell for me
SPM! SPM! Sissy Pathetic Man
My life has come down to one of the most mediocre but crucial moments in my life
Next year, i expect way more tears, torture and horror
I am terrified that i may be stuck here forever!
I AM NOT A LOSER!!!!!!!
I WANNA LIVE a life that is where nobody patronizes bi boys
I wanna party in clubs, drive and drink liquor
I wanna have SAFE sex other than my perverted, promiscuous ex-gorlfriend
I wanna meet two people that i have been close to than every single 1 of my classmates combined
In order to get what i want, I must suffer greatly
I know my head will turn to tomato puree by the time SPM is over!
I know that the 17th year of my life is gonna suck
I must prepoare m,yself for the inevitable
I must suceed and prevail
Next year Its TTTKA!!!!!
and i have to be ready.

OH MY GOD
He was running faster and faster
his heart was beating like a million times a second
Fear has held him on a very tight grip
choking his very breath
he's breath was harder and louder
each pant was showing more and more that he is exhausted.

He was running and suddenly somethng caught him
the hands were firm, hard and strong
suddenly his back felt muscular abs
the hands that caught his shoulders slid down to his hands
suddenly something wet and warm touched his neck
it was someone's lips
A MAN's LIPS

His body tingled around him
The electricity sparked in him
making him feel warm and comfortable
his whole body fell on to the mysterious man like melted butter

"Miss me baby"
he turned around and saw the man but he was masked
who are you???
just someone who knows and loves you for a long time

his hands slid to his crotch
he moaned as he fondled and grope them
next thing he knew, he was sucking the man's cock
and cum spewed into his face
the man disappeared
as he looked around with his cum on his face
he licked the cum that are around his lips and asked
who are you for the second time
just call me the cummer
the voice said

That was Aaron's dream
he told me that the next morning, cum was allover his body
TMI for God's sakes
well, as 4 me nuttin much has happen
well, onna post now

Do u care???
Read and comment on wat u think of homophobia

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

---IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG...REPOST THIS---
IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE THIS*
I dont mind what you do... but take time to reflect and think about this post, all judgments aside... do with it what you will.

Going crazeh!!!!
Yeah! You know what, to fucking hell with Kyo!!!!!
I can always find another guy from another country that is more kawai than him!
He told me to 4get about him so let's just 4get about him.
So listen to him!

Now that I am SINGLE and free!
I can do anything I want!
F.Y.I, I am in Sweden now.
Ahahahahahahahhaha....hah!
I am having soooooooo much fun
I am actually sitting in this internet cafe rite now.
It opens 24/7
So I am right now BLOGGING.
Probably be back on Dec 10.
So let me tell ya guys wat am I doin in Sweden.

First, we are staying at some hotel that is sooo 3 star.
which is fine wit me.
Aaron, Nate and Kenji are mah roomates.
Rachel, Alana, Michelle and Colette are just across the room.
Chris, Mika, Dalton and James are on the left.
While our door is conected to Ashley, Julian, Todd and Chad.
The Twinkerbelles aka Julian and Todd really freaks me out
I mean being a bi-sexual is okay
BUT
what really freaks me out is not their umm... femininity
but the MAKEUP
Jesus Christ, they look like a buncha clowns/drag queens.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww (shivers)
And they actually act like REAL women
And honestly, they are more ladylike than other girls
(shiver)
Girls, admit it, those two are the most ladylike girls you have ever seen and can pass better at being wives
Ahahahahahahahahahaha!
Imagine them being wivs to Jerome and Thomas
Gawd, that is ssoooooooo funneh!

I have no objections to homos.
I am just afraid of clowns and drag-queens.
No offense to these two though
they are actually Better and Fun without the makeup
and they can pass as eligible bachelors
Pass...BARELY
Okay, okay! Who the fuck I am kidding!!
They are as faggy as a bunch of drag-queens!

So anyway, we went clubbing, partying and well, clubbing.
We also went shopping
We went to play snowballs and build snowmen and ice-skate.
My ass is literally chilled
I suck at ice skating.
Always and I mean ALWAYS falling HARD on mah fucking ASS!
So neewat we also went to the ice hotel where everything is made of ICE!
Soooo cool.
And then we also went tothis icebar where everything is made of ICE
even the CUPS!!!!
pr short glasses.
Anyway see you guys on Dec10
my last day in Sweden after this I am going to England!
i AM GOING TO TRL to see the premiere of Rachel Steven's new video.
That is sooo cool
Can't wait
See ya

How to mend a broken heart
Well, as we all know that I am heartbroken.
Thanks a lot, Kyo.
I have done a couple of things to heal my heart.
maybe is just puppy love, ya know?
Hopefully someone new pops in or an old flame comes in.
Guy or girl?
Preferably girl but guys are welcome.
Hey, I am a bisexual anyway.
At least I don't date animals okay!

So different people deal with their heartbreaks differently
As a person that loves to try new things, I picked and choose.
So here is method number one: EAT!
I bought some ice-cream six of them actually.
10 bars of those large Tobelerones (love them)
and a few bags of potato chips (I don't know the amount as I dumped a bunch in to the cart thingy)
Watched reruns of Charmed, Desperate Housewives, Will and Grace and Buffy
But even the Power of Three could not vanquish my broken soul.

Method 2:Sports
I swam naked at rachel's beach at her parents beach house
F.Y.I she is staying there too.
It was one weekend only okay.
Yes, I bet she was peeking but I don't think so
This is not the first time she seen me naked.
I have seen her naked too, ya know.
When I was at Miami, Aaron and I were playing soccer.
Even though we laughed and joked and cried, still it doesn't work.

Method 3: SEX
Come on! Two teens in a secluded bech house
There's bound to be magic!
She is such a great teacher even if she is a minute older.
But it did not complete me.

Method 4: Writing music.
I have already wrote 4 songs about Kyo and still cry almost each night
Silently and discreetly.
I think I am going to make a video of it.
But I don't think I can do it.

Method 5: Dance and hang.
Sadly nobody can hang out with me as they are all...
TOO DAMN FUCKING LAZY
to
PLAN
a STINKIN OUTING!!!!!!!!!

So right now, I am still heartbroken
Still mindlessly playing the ps2 like a zombie
Still watching TV like a mindless zombie
Still reading like a mindless zombie
Still lying around at home like a mindless zombie
Still blogging emotional crap like a desperate housewife
Still crying or tearing like a desperate housewife
Still working out like a mindless zombie
Still going online like a mindless zombie
So basically i am a lost mindless zombie becuz his heart is shattered into little shards
Jeez, I am sooooo Jamie Ding right now
The emotionally crappy bitchy bitch who is also probaly rotting like me like a mindless zombie in this
sad, sad, SAD Holidays
Aren't holidays are supposed to be light-hearted and relaxing with stars are blind playing at the back.
I cannot wait till 2007 and focus on SPM
I cannot wait for December 29th 2007 when the casa la 7 are going to JAPAN, USA and FRANCE
for a triple threat celebration to celebrate every members 17th birthday!!!
Cool huh?
After that I am a high school graduate doing nothing
By that time, I wanna:
learn to drive
learn japanesse
and learn to cook!
After SPM results are out,
Bye, Malaysia and...
HELLO, Japan, USA, Switzerland or Australia!
I cannot wait
I don't want to stay in Malaysia!
IT will be my worst nightmare
Wait, Naional Service is my worst nightmare
No, staying here 4 the rest of my life is my WORST nightmare.
National service is not far behind
Evil Malaysian government who probanly brainwash Malaysian teens to turn them to terrorists or something.
There is no way you are sending me to that hellhole.
No FUCKING way!!!!!